- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 965
So met this girl on Monday, pretty simple approach and very straightforward texting.
Met her at my usual bar, we hugged and we sat down. There was a larger gap between us, which made touching more difficult. I started off by having her tell me more about her work and how she got into it. Deep dived pretty well on the subject of how she got into journalism because she read a lot growing up, and had always wanted to be a writer. She had wanted to become a book editor, and then went into journalism because the pay was better. While talking about books I did some light teasing by asking whether she was aiming to write a book more like Twilight, or like 50 Shades of Grey. She also made some statements about how other careers were boring, which I purposefully misinterpreted as her making fun of me. Looking back, I should have used that as an opportunity to do some push/pull, like, "haha and I thought we were going to be meant to be, but clearly not with that attitude (said with a wink), but something tells me I could be an exception to the rule".
She tells me she moved her after college, and I tell her the same. She asks my age, and I tell her that she's definitely a cougar. I could have followed with something like, "luckily I'm into cougars, just don't toss me away too quickly after you've finished ravishing me, I'm delicate".
After that I made a guess about where she's from, guessing California or somewhere on the West Coast. Turns out she's from Colorado, so not that far off. We talk a little bit about differences between the suburbs and the city, and about what makes the city great. I use it to set a mild discretion frame.
Next conversational thread was her asking me how often I approach girls on the street. I first, turn it around by asking her why she asked (said with a smile). She said she was just curious, so I asked her what she thought of it. She said she thought it was impressive and props to me. I ask her how she usually meets guys in the city, and whether she uses apps. She says she does, and I ask her whether the people she's met have been weird or good, and she tells that since she interviews people for a living, she can usually keep the conversation going well. She keeps pressing me for an answer, so I tell her millions, and that she’s the first that’s said yes. I say that I don't like the apps, and I prefer to meet girls in real life because I come across better three dimensionally. In hindsight, I should have reframed this as me liking to meet girls in person because they come across three dimensionally, so that it seems more like I'm the one doing the assessing. We talk a little more about this, and I make a joke that I have a thing for blonde girls from Colorado.
I ask her about her hobbies and what she does for fun. So we relate a little bit about that. At that point, I felt we should switch venues, so I suggested going to grab some plum wine at another bar nearby. Mostly just continued the conversation, talking about friends we had made in the city, and what not.
Get to the wine place and the waiter seats us across from each other, so touch can't be established there either. We talk about our families and she tells me that she was always the more rebellious child, then correctly guesses that I was more in line and not likely to get into trouble. Could have made a joke here about her being naughty, but not sure how I could have done that without having it sound "off". Also, I probably could have challenged her back there by saying, "do I really seem that cute and innocent to you" while using my legs to play footsie with her legs.
After that we headed out, and I didn't try to pull. I hadn't felt any sexual tension during the date, and that missing value made me not feel good about my pulling chances.
The key to my growth in the future will be thinking of the things I've listed as improvements in the moment, so that I'll amp up the sexual tension and create it on the date. I think going out at night will give me more opportunity to practice too.
Met her at my usual bar, we hugged and we sat down. There was a larger gap between us, which made touching more difficult. I started off by having her tell me more about her work and how she got into it. Deep dived pretty well on the subject of how she got into journalism because she read a lot growing up, and had always wanted to be a writer. She had wanted to become a book editor, and then went into journalism because the pay was better. While talking about books I did some light teasing by asking whether she was aiming to write a book more like Twilight, or like 50 Shades of Grey. She also made some statements about how other careers were boring, which I purposefully misinterpreted as her making fun of me. Looking back, I should have used that as an opportunity to do some push/pull, like, "haha and I thought we were going to be meant to be, but clearly not with that attitude (said with a wink), but something tells me I could be an exception to the rule".
She tells me she moved her after college, and I tell her the same. She asks my age, and I tell her that she's definitely a cougar. I could have followed with something like, "luckily I'm into cougars, just don't toss me away too quickly after you've finished ravishing me, I'm delicate".
After that I made a guess about where she's from, guessing California or somewhere on the West Coast. Turns out she's from Colorado, so not that far off. We talk a little bit about differences between the suburbs and the city, and about what makes the city great. I use it to set a mild discretion frame.
Next conversational thread was her asking me how often I approach girls on the street. I first, turn it around by asking her why she asked (said with a smile). She said she was just curious, so I asked her what she thought of it. She said she thought it was impressive and props to me. I ask her how she usually meets guys in the city, and whether she uses apps. She says she does, and I ask her whether the people she's met have been weird or good, and she tells that since she interviews people for a living, she can usually keep the conversation going well. She keeps pressing me for an answer, so I tell her millions, and that she’s the first that’s said yes. I say that I don't like the apps, and I prefer to meet girls in real life because I come across better three dimensionally. In hindsight, I should have reframed this as me liking to meet girls in person because they come across three dimensionally, so that it seems more like I'm the one doing the assessing. We talk a little more about this, and I make a joke that I have a thing for blonde girls from Colorado.
I ask her about her hobbies and what she does for fun. So we relate a little bit about that. At that point, I felt we should switch venues, so I suggested going to grab some plum wine at another bar nearby. Mostly just continued the conversation, talking about friends we had made in the city, and what not.
Get to the wine place and the waiter seats us across from each other, so touch can't be established there either. We talk about our families and she tells me that she was always the more rebellious child, then correctly guesses that I was more in line and not likely to get into trouble. Could have made a joke here about her being naughty, but not sure how I could have done that without having it sound "off". Also, I probably could have challenged her back there by saying, "do I really seem that cute and innocent to you" while using my legs to play footsie with her legs.
After that we headed out, and I didn't try to pull. I hadn't felt any sexual tension during the date, and that missing value made me not feel good about my pulling chances.
The key to my growth in the future will be thinking of the things I've listed as improvements in the moment, so that I'll amp up the sexual tension and create it on the date. I think going out at night will give me more opportunity to practice too.
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