Balance between tension and playfulness/comfort?

[andersen09]

How does the advanced seducers go about finding the right cord between being playful and serious?
How does the advanced seducers go about having fun/good time with you but having her take you serious?

I think this is my sticking point currently. I'm either TOO playful and she ends up seeing me as a dancing monkey.
OR I'm too serious and she gets intimidated by me.

How can you make her comfortable but not TOO comfortable to the point she disrespects you?

 

[lostnumber]

Calibration and practice. Figure out which and of the spectrum you are in and try to swing things the other way. You will likely go too far and it won't work, so you'll have to move back in the other direction again, but not all the way back to where you started. Repeat this process as many times as necessary to home in on what feels like a natural and effective balance.

For me I'm naturally playful and fun. When I started I worked on being sexier and edgier. Because I was uncalibrated, it frequently backfired and came off as creepy/agressive. I learned from that and swung back towards the playful end of the scale, but kept a couple of the serious elements that were working. Now I have being fun pretty much nailed, so I'm working on upping the edgy factor again, but much more gently this time.

Correct me if Im wrong, but from your posts I get the impression that you are naturally more respectful and nice then edgy and serious. The problem Im seeing based on the scenarios you have posted is that you give the nice and harmless vibe until someone pushes you, and then you blow up and go all the way to the other end of the spectrum. Essentially you are oscillating between the two extremes without finding a consistent tone

If you find people aren't taking you seriously in general then don't wait until a problem comes up to be more edgy and serious, try to do it from day one. Likely you will come off too hostile and aggressive and have to tone it down, but that's ok.

That's my two cents anyway

 

[andersen09]

Calibration and practice. Figure out which and of the spectrum you are in and try to swing things the other way. You will likely go too far and it won't work, so you'll have to move back in the other direction again, but not all the way back to where you started. Repeat this process as many times as necessary to home in on what feels like a natural and effective balance.

For me I'm naturally playful and fun. When I started I worked on being sexier and edgier. Because I was uncalibrated, it frequently backfired and came off as creepy/agressive. I learned from that and swung back towards the playful end of the scale, but kept a couple of the serious elements that were working. Now I have being fun pretty much nailed, so I'm working on upping the edgy factor again, but much more gently this time.

Correct me if Im wrong, but from your posts I get the impression that you are naturally more respectful and nice then edgy and serious. The problem Im seeing based on the scenarios you have posted is that you give the nice and harmless vibe until someone pushes you, and then you blow up and go all the way to the other end of the spectrum. Essentially you are oscillating between the two extremes without finding a consistent tone

If you find people aren't taking you seriously in general then don't wait until a problem comes up to be more edgy and serious, try to do it from day one. Likely you will come off too hostile and aggressive and have to tone it down, but that's ok.

That's my two cents anyway

You're correct. I'm either too playful from the beginning, or I'm too serious from the beginning. Results are the same. I come off serious from being playful = they get caught off balance. I come off from playful to serious = they laugh.
So it is a matter of caliberation