Barry Newbie Assignment

[BarryS1]

Greetings!

My name is Barry and I am a college student living in Palo Alto, California. The purpose for joining the site is improving the biggest weakness that has plagued my self-esteem and social life for years. I had a recent eye-opener about my lack of social skills with women and vowed to improve in the area.

Current Status: 22 y/o male virgin about to go in last semester of college, never been in a relationship, and only made out once.

Goal: Get up to speed of dating knowledge with the “mean” of American males my age and have three one-night stands by the end of the year.

Pace of Assignment: Three assignments every week.

Motivation:

Getting friend zoned by a girl three years younger than me six months ago opened my eyes to the need for bettering me. I waited over a four-week period for identifying the right signal for asking her out on a date. At our last get together I decided I was so far in the zone, she did not view me as a man anymore and never spoke to her again. Never told her how I felt because the embarrassment would have been overwhelming and all signs pointed to negative. At the beginning, several friends told me I did not move fast enough and that I was in the friend zone. By the third week, I discovered GirlsChase and Chase’s article https://www.girlschase.com/content/just-friends-mans-worst-nightmare about the situation and began thinking about self-improvement ever since.

Social Life:

My old philosophy of rising the ladder socially:

hanging out with friends -> increase in social skills and confidence -> getting job -> increase in social skills and confidence -> finding ladies

Social life encompassed by relationships, friendships, and professional connections with widely different levels of success.

Relationships – Never motivated to chase girls because I was not at the place in the ladder I wanted to be and thought it would not work. Nervous to put myself out there so became comfortable around girls only when they chased me. For example, the only dance attended in high school and date in college was when a girl ask me out.

I owe my past lack of motivation to my chronic pornography addiction that has since turning 13. Before a month ago, I was watching porn 30min-1 hour every day, but Chase’s post https://www.girlschase.com/content/break-your-porn-addiction-and-sleep-real-girls-instead motivated me to stop cold turkey. I was winding down six months ago after the “friendzoning”, but finally found a logical reason to stop. Being sober off porn makes me feel more sexually aroused in public than ever before.

Friendships – Group of friends changed every six months through my entire life from neediness, personal priorities, and instability. I have ease making friends and always used the skill of providing value enlightened by Chase’s post https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-make-friends-master-key-new-friendships. In fact I provided value so high, my friends have always tried pushing their agendas on me. My priorities (in order) has always been school, work, sleep, exercise, exercising, and hanging out with friends. My friends have always been unstable people in the long term because of their “douchebag” personalities that are exciting to hang out with in small doses. Stated earlier, my friends never want a casual friendship and we have always split up afterward.

Networking – I have a history of self-improvement success in networking over the last 1 ½ years during situations including mixers, job fairs, and interviews. I had mentorship in the above categories from reading materials and personal advice. Applying fundamentals of social interactions in Girls Chase’s articles should mirror the success gained through networking.


Excited to start a journey I should have begun years ago!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey BarryS1,

Really cool to see you start taking charge of your life, and way to break free of your addiction cold-turkey! It's that kind of mentality that'll lead you to success in this arena, too.

Can't wait to see the progress,
Jake

 

[BarryS1]

Assigment #1

Looking through the assignments, I am experiencing anxiety about #4,5,and 6. Before this site, my pervious philosophy was “there is a time and place for social interaction.” Flirting with girls in public places represents signs of being a creep, so finding events other than in public is optimal. My philosophy formed from hearing female friends, co-workers, classmates, and family members complaining about “creeps” in public. Not once have I heard any woman encountering a suave male in public like Chase.

General Location: Upscale downtown shopping area with restaurants, bars, and stores lining a ½ mile street.

General Population Demographics (in order of frequency): Indian, Asian, White, Middle-Eastern, and Hispanic. The bay area of California has an ethnically diverse population. I tried picking locations for meeting women of every ethnicity because some roam to certain locations more than others.

Slept 4 hours that night from anxiety because I never went out at night alone (this was a Friday) in a social environment except for the gym and store. Felt strange getting out of the car and mixing with the crowd of people walking on the street. I did not do any research on the area because I heard about it after going to a Meetup.com event an hour earlier.

Location #1: Popular brewery

The brewery/restaurant represented the most crowded location in the downtown area with the widest age demographic. Single females were White, between 20-40, and seated in groups at tables. Couples and men between 30-60’s were at the bar with myself being the only one alone. The first time going into a bar alone was better than expected and did not feel awkward after the first five minutes. I ordered a beer (dark) and asked the bartender about upcoming events downtown.

Location #2: Bookstore

The bookstore had mom & pop feel with shopping area on the bottom floor and café on the top. The crowd attracted couples/groups between teen-30’s on the bottom and lone men >40 upstairs. The females here were unattractive Indian and Whites, but the location has a steady stream and serves as a good “warm-up”.

Location #3: Greek Bakery and Coffee Shop

The bakery has an outdoor area for sitting and a roomy, but noisy interior. The bakery attracted a specific ethic crowd including White and Middle-Eastern between 20-40’s. The women were the most attractive and fashionably dressed out of any location. Couples took up the interior, but I have hope lone ladies will sit outside during the day.

Location #4: Lounge

The downtown has a Asian-themed lounge with two bars and a dance floor inside. I arrived at 10pm before the crowd and found the place almost deserted. I asked the bartender the same as the last one and got an unfriendly reply.

My current ice-breaker now and in-need of improvement.

Me: “Does this place have any upcoming events?”

Bartender: “Idk, we have different promoters coming every week, just check online.”

Me: “Sure.”

Bartender: “What can I get for you?”

Note: Does anyone have any recommended icebreakers for extracting needed information from store employees, bartenders, ect.?
I was lucky two guys around my age heard my question and started conversation with me about the demographics and optimal times to attend. We swapped clubbing stories for 30 min and they bought me a shot before leaving. I heard about 70% of the girls here are Asian and the crowd does not pick up until the school year in September.

Extra Location: The two way sidewalks

The sidewalks remain brightly lit from the shops and “Christmas lights” wrapped around trees. On a Friday night, crowds of people are standing in circles, walking, or sitting down on benches. Picking up girls should not attractive the attention of other people on the sidewalks.

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #2

Chase’s recommended posture represents a 180 from the position I usually take when walking. Puffing the chest out and rolling shoulders back seemed like “over-kill” for walking down the street. I went out alone on a crowded Saturday night around 9pm and was surprised seeing a younger age demographic (20-30s).

Note: I am walking on the sidewalk leaning towards the right. Similar to American cars driving on the right side of the road, people walk on the right side of the sidewalk.

Physical Experience

Walking in a straight line felt comfortable, but changing directions, adjusting speed, and stopping created difficulty for maintaining posture. Changing direction made my upper body feel rigid because I tried changing directions with my feet first before the body. In other words, I require practice on leaning into the turns while maintaining posture.

I tend to walk fast when not accompanied by other people and caught myself “bolting” around couples and crowds when coming from behind. My four locations exist on different ends of the downtown area so I was only thinking about arriving ASAP. The speed of the walk increased further when on a side street or alley because no one was around. I was walking so fast that upon entering the main street, got within inches of colliding against a group. The reaction from the group was silent and did not get any verbal exclamation except for wide-eyed stares.

Transitioning from a walk to a stop altered the desire posture including opening a door and walking up to a register. Both situations occurred when visiting the Greek bakery. I caught myself leaning down to the handle when trying to open to the door. I can fix this by keeping my head up and “hope” my hand reaches the handle. I fixed the slunched-over posture after entering, walked over to the register, and waited for the cashier. I was the only one in line, but the bakery had every table filled.

My thoughts:

“Should I maintain the posture just standing in the middle of the bakery looking at the menu?”

“Should I lean against something to make a cool appearance?”

I eventually leaned one arm against the counter and avoided pulling out the phone like most people in waiting situations.

Street Reactions

Walking speeds of other people:

-Couples and groups walking slow

-Solo people walking quickly

Reactions of people to my posture:

-2/3 couples (20-30’s) stopped holding hands to get around me. The couples who spread out seemed surprised I did not step out of the way. They had lingering stares during the pass and probably did a double take as I passed by.

-6/6 groups of girls/guys (20-30’s) spread out and avoided me. The girls/guys who spread out tried to play it cool and avoid eye-contact to “save face”.

-1/2 groups of young guys (20s) spread out and avoided me. The guys who spread out gave threatening looks.



Overall, I feel a need for working on non-verbal fundamentals including hand position, walking, and standing.

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #3

Went out on a Sunday night alone and spent an hour catching eye contact with people at the same downtown location. The demographics were surprisingly the same as a Saturday and Friday night with people dressed up for bars and nightclubbing.

#1 – Stop sign intersection

Parked a couple blocks away from the main downtown street and walked to an intersection with a three-person group (2 girls, 1 guy) on the other side. I maintained three-second eye contact with a girl (early 20s) who had her lips slightly open. She quickly looked down as we approached the same block and let the group go in front of me.

#2 – Popular brewery

Stopped by the brewery and picked up quick conversation with the bartender about a recent beer festival in the bay area (Santa Cruz). While talking, I glanced over at the guy (early 30s) next to me who then partook in the conversation. I think glancing around while talking to a group brings in other people to the conversaton.

#3 – Same Place

After conversing, I tilted by body away from the bar and looked at the tables in the restaurant behind. I caught the eye of a lady sitting at a table who “cocked” her head to the side and had a puzzled looked. I broke eye contact after making an important realization, I forgot facial expressions the entire evening and probably confused the women so far.

#4 – Walking across streetlight intersection

Waiting for the pedestrian signal, I caught the eye of a busty blonde (early 20s) at the edge of a group of male/female friends in front of a restaurant. The intersection was not that long and I maintained contact for five seconds before making a small smile within 6 feet. She did not change facial expression or body movement, but darted the eyes quickly to the side.

#5 – Street

Caught the eye of a tall, fashionably-grungy, hipster girl walking on the street for two seconds before she slowly lowered her head. I got a lonely vibe from her and should converse with those types of girls in the future after learning more skills.

#6 – Outside Restaurant on Street

Noticed a middle-eastern guy (late 20s) looking at me through peripheral vision (no one has ever looked at me first). Guy sitting at the edge of a table closest to the sidewalk with a group of guys and girls. I broke eye-contact from the side, like Chase suggested, for creating a neutral interaction.

#7 – Walking on streetlight crosswalk

Stepped off the sidewalk first with a large crowd behind and caught the eye of a guy (mid 20s) holding hands with a girl the same age. A second did not pass until the guy snapped his head down and broke eye contact. Never seen anyone break eye contact so violently before, I wonder what that means?

#8 – Bookstore

Worst place for catching eye contact because bookstore connoisseurs have their eye glued to reading material, DUH! I tried catching the eye of an Indian girl (late teens) for over 5min without success. Looking with 5 sec intervals from long, short, and touching distances did nothing to catch her attention. For future reference, I need to get the attention of ladies somehow without an obvious intention. Perhaps try to catch women’s eye contact during the scares moments when they are putting a book away, reaching for a new one, or walking around.

#9 – Greek Bakery

Stood in a long line at the bakery and started looking at people sitting at tables before catching the eye of a guy (mid teens). His facial expression was hilarious after catching eye contact for a second, darted his eyes back and forth three times! I must have made his night very awkward.

#10 – Same Place

Sat at a leather lazyboy chair across from an attractive middle-eastern woman (late 40s) reading a book by herself. She looked up when I sat down then slowly lowered her head to become lost in the book. Again, I found a depressed woman with no company within talking distance. I wanted to relish the coffee/falafels and acknowledge my realization instead of starting a conversation. I think I may have found a potential niche Chase was talking about in the PDF https://www.girlschase.com/content/finding-your-niche.!!!

Take aways:

Focus, focus, focus on non-verbal communication and start finding more places with depressed looking women.

Potential Niche: Depressed Women

Does anyone have any experience with this demographic? I found one about my age and another in her late forties. I did not open up to either, but feel like they would be easier to open from lacking a social circle barrier, male company, and dismissive attitude.

 

[BarryS1]

ASSIGNMENT #4

Expectation: knocking out six approaches within an hour time period.

Reality: Took four separate days spanning six hours.

Approach anxiety represented the largest obstacle with varying levels influenced by mood. Conversation skills were impacted including openers and comebacks. I broke the rule about staying at the designated locations because I did not get desired results right away.

Day #1: Downtown Area

Mood: Excited and feeling rushed

Time: 4pm

Time Constraint: 1 hr.

Girl #1: Bookstore

Approach anxiety was high because every girl in the store was looking down at a book and not making eye contact. Got next to a girl standing while reading and picked up a book on a shelf. I said hi as soon as I picked the book off the shelf and did not get a response. I said hi again and still did not get a movement from her.

Reaction: Ignored.

Girl #2: Same

Left the bookstore and went to the brewery for a particularly fantastic double stout with 10% abv. for getting the nerves out. I went back to the bookstore determined to approach and found a girl sitting down and reading. I got a book off the shelf and said Hi to her with great reception leading to a 30 min. conversation.

Reaction: Cracked open like an egg with warm reception.

Found the following about her (and shared mine in return): name, residence location, occupation, weekend activities, age, and relationship status. The first twenty minutes consisted of talking about each other and the last ten convincing her to give me contact information. The dialogue was completely non-sensual until the last ten minutes with her and anything previous is not worth noting (note: edited for emphasizing content).

Me: If you come back downtown every Saturday, we should get tea.

Girl (Stella): *Surprised chuckle* I don’t know! This seems so weird, I mean we just met..

Me: What’s wrong with that?

Stella: I mean…we are at a bookstore right now. This…is so random.

Me: Lot of interesting people go here, I am sure your friends will understand. I mean, downtown is having a book festival next week. A lot of people meet in these circumstances.

Stella: *Hesitation* How old are you again?

Me: 22

Stella: Well, I’m 29. That’s a big difference….

Me: People age at different rates, and besides next weekend should be fun. (I tried changing the subject from age. I need a method for combating the age difference problem).

Here, just put your email in my phone you can always block me if you change your mind. (I went with the safe route because she felt like a long shot and maybe an older girl would appreciate this).

Stella: *Awkward pause* I don’t know…this just feels weird.

(I don’t know if she felt excited like I was or uncomfortable. The conversation took a turn and was lead astray, but centered back on topic and asked for contact information).

Me: Look, I gotta go, so here’s my phone if you wanna give an email.

Stella: Okay…

After putting the email in the phone, she quickly said goodbye and hurried out of the bookstore. I felt she was probably freaked out from lacking warm reception at the end. I felt absolutely alive after the incident and could not stop smiling until the next morning. This was the first time I EVER approached a random girl. Not only that, but I asked for contact info, and persisted ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

Four days later, I did not get an email, but feel good about the experience.

Day #2: Shopping Mall

Mood: Tired

Time: 6pm

Time Constraint: 1 hr.

Went shopping with my sister for watches at Macy’s in a luxurious shopping center. The shopping center is so large that Macy’s mens and womens are separated. I am glad the watches are located in the women’s store.

Girl #3: Macy’s

Walking around different watch counters with my sister first for scoping out the large watch display area. I found the only female sales representative (40s, Hispanic) and said hi in a slow, whisper voice with long eye contact. The conversation continued about watches at a slow pace with her touching my wrist and hand a couple times. I felt in my element talking slow, making slow movements, and making lazy eye contact at the right times. Unfortunately, I did not know to keep the conversation rolling past two minutes and my sister’s arrival saved the embarrassment.

Reaction: Wide-eyed and kept eye contact, but no smile.

Day #3: Starbucks in another town

Mood: Angry and spiteful mood. (Not a good idea taking work to approach people with)

Time: 3pm

Time Constraint: 2hrs

Lot of girls sitting in groups at tables around coffee shop and outside, but I felt too angry to approach. The place was packed and loud, so approaching should not take any notice from other tables. Nevertheless, I sat at the coffeebar fuming with work troubles and unable to care about satisfying a woman.

Day #4: Downtown Area

Mood: Defeated and misunderstood

Time: 930pm

Time Constraint: 2 hrs

Came back from a Meetup.com event with the purpose of getting feedback on a project from work. No one at the meetup knew what I was talking about, so I felt misunderstood by people. That mentality hovered over me all night long and was unable to shake. I was slow in reactions and unable to piece together a conversation anywhere I went.

Girl #4: Bookstore

Walked up to two girls (20s, Hispanic) in a aisle at the bookstore and said hi. Instead of engaging in conversation, the girls backed away from the bookshelf and turned towards each other. The girls misunderstood my approach and they thought I was saying “excuse me” to get them to move.

Reaction: Shut me out and moved away

Girl #5: Streetlight Intersection

Waiting for the streetlight to turn green when two tipsy girls (20s, Indian) approached me and asked for directions to a restaurant. I said hi, tried to sidetrack the conversation, and told them directions after not knowing what to say.

Reaction: Got complete attention with great eye contact

Me: Hi

Girls: Do you know where Costa restaurant is?

Me: Did you just say Costco? I believe you are in the wrong place.

Girls: *Laughing* Huh? I don’t think we wanna eat there. Where is Costa?

(The girls looked at me intently, but my mind went blank so I told directions).

Me: Walk X, turn at X, and go to X.

Girls: *giddy, exaggerated voices* Heyy, thanks!

(Stood there for three/four seconds staring until I broke eye contact and turned my back to them. When the cross-sign blinked, I walked as fast as I could to the other side and did not turn back around.)

Girl #6: Bookstore

Went to the bookstore again and encountered two girls (20s, Asian) in an aisle like last time reading. I said hi, but the same thing happened with the previous girls, they backed away from the aisle and grouped together.

Reaction: Shut me out and moved away.


Takeaways: Being tired and excited represented the best moods so far for approaching women. I need to call someone when in a bad mood before approaching women to avoid poor performance.

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #5

Expectation: Ask 6 women the question within an hour.

Reality: Assignment took three days spanning six hours.

Day #1 – Downtown Area

Mood: Calm, happy

Time: 430pm

Time Constraint: 2 hours

Girl #1: Bookstore

Had a beer at the bar for relieving the nerves before a daytime approach. I require more experience before quitting the drinking routine before approaching.

Spotted a girl (Middle-Eastern, early 20s) while standing in an aisle at the bookstore. She started at the end of the aisle and came closer until reaching about five feet away. I waited ten seconds before opening with, “Hi, how’s your day going?” I was shocked seeing a genuine smile and receiving bubbly reply, “It’s going great! How about yourself?”

Me: “It’s not nighttime yet, I am just waiting around. How about you?”

Her: “Waiting for my friend to get off work. Do you normally hang out at bookstores?”

She immediately did a follow-up question without letting the conversation stagnate. I never thought girls do follow-up questions this early in the conversation. I realized later that this girl was different than any other in the assignment. Did not push the conversation in anywhere sexual, but followed a trend for 10min.

occupation -> fun activities (she drinks in the downtown area too) -> favorite books -> age -> favorite places to eat downtown.

I broke the conversation off even though we stood in the same area the entire time.

Girl #2: Same

Spotted a girl (blonde, early 30s) in the cooking section aisle from the other side of the bookstore. I went from section to section, hugging the corners and walked slowly for preventing detection. I kept my eyes on the books when reaching the aisle and side-stepped until reaching a 5ft. distance. I asked the question, but received shy reception including no smile, hesitant voice, and a brief response, “Good, thanks.” She put back a book and immediately left the aisle after the interaction. I require work on seducing girls older than my age group.

Girl #3: Bookstore

Surprisingly did not feel the momentum from the last two approaches, but the alcohol gave enough confidence for another approach. Saw a lone girl (white-brunette, late 20s) in the sci-fi section across the store and used the same method of hugging the corners for closing in. When arriving on the same aisle, she started walking away in the opposite direction. I opened up immediately with “Hi!” and she turned around with a puzzled expression. Followed-up with “How’s your day going?” and got an unusually warm response “Good! Thank you so much for asking!” (reminded me of a customer-service response).

Me: “It’s not quite night-time yet! Just buying some time and waiting for people. How about you?”

Her: “Haha! I’m just browsing around, don’t know what I’m looking for. What types of books do you read?”

I should of took the conversation off the store theme like Chase’s suggestion in: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-p ... -groceries.
I was afraid of loosing the conversation if transitioned too roughly into something personal, so I rolled with the topic for 10 min. The last five minutes, I deep-dived covering:

occupation -> fun activities to do around Bay Area -> when and why she moved here-> age -> favorite places to eat downtown.

After 15 min., I asked if she wanted to join for pizza at the end of the block. Her response shocked me, almost as if rehearsed and practiced. “It’s okay. I’m good.” with a wide smile on her face. The attitude reminded me of girls giving one another fake compliments. I did not return the smile, but said good-bye and left the store.

Day #2 – Downtown Area

Mood: Elated, horny

Time: 5pm

Timeframe: 2hrs.

Girl #4: Grocery Store

Downtown area deserted around dinnertime on a Monday and took a long time to find a girl. Went to grocery store and talked to an okay-looking clerk at the checkout stand(blonde, early 20s). The conversation did not last because I could not shake her out of being on auto-pilot.

Girl #5: Meetup.com Event

Girl (Asian, late 30s) sat in the row ahead of me at a presentation, but took over 2 min. to organize. I asked the question and got a minimal response back, “Good, thanks.” Our conversation lasted a short five minutes, but got enough information about her professional life. I require more information about flirting with girls in a professional environment including networking events and the workplace.

Day #3

Mood: Happy

Time: 330pm

Timeframe: 2 hours

Girl #6: In Class

I took the train on the first day of school and walked around a couple blocks away from campus. After two hours of no success, I headed to class with blue balls.

I asked the question to a girl (White/Asian, late teens) sitting in the row behind on the first day of class. She had a surprised expression on her face and did not have a smooth response. She blushed and stammered for a second before answering, “Good, how about you?” I tried rolling along with a related topic and talked about the waitlist for the class, but was interrupted by a guy.

He asked for clarification on the class and my thoughts on the teacher. I do not think he knew about my intentions flirting with the girl, but he ended our conversation.


Takeaways:

Tactics for approaching in stores during daytime: (Suggestions/Revisions greatly appreciated!)
1) walk slowly from the corners of the store or decide to let her approach you.
2) don’t have eye contact, use peripheral vision.
3) make sure body facing me (don’t approach from behind).
4) Scan items as move closer and appear to “just notice her”.
5) (Personal preference) finding a girl near a quiet, corner part of the store with minimal people around.

Learning to do list:
-Stopping interruptions.
-Flirting with “hired guns.”
-Flirting under the radar in a professional environment.
-Flirting with older women 15+ over my age.

Realization: I can not believe women are not just blowing me off, but absolutely glowing warm reception. No idea this would ever happen until completing the assignment.

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #6

Really crunched on time with school starting back up and behind on posting though I am on #8 already. Approached 10 girls over the weekend from Friday to Sunday, but I am only posting relevant information for assignment #6. Approached 10 girls, got a number, and meeting her on Wednesday. Plucked up the courage to approach in local stores instead of driving 30min. to the assigned area.

Expectations: Take an entire week finding 6 girls by themselves at stores.

Reality: Took 2 days under three hours for hitting the quota. Approached more girls than expected, but only posting the first four.

Day #1: Hometown

Mood: Nervous like walking on Nails

Time: 730pm

Girl#1: T.J. Maxx Department Store (Store for household knick-knacks, mostly women)

Went to one T.J. Maxx 30min away from the house for fear of running into someone I know. Walked around store for an hour until called quits despite seeing 5 girls by themselves.

Note: First time approaching during day without alcohol in system.

Went to other T.J. Maxx by house and walked around for 15min. before getting in the right mood. Saw a girl (Asian, late 30s, hotness-7), approached with the question, and got shut down.

Me: Hi,

Girl: Hello

Me: Are you single? (In muffled voice).

Girl: (Looked away and did not answer).

Me: (Walked away, COMPLETELY red in the face).

Note: I have to make the approaches more casual for meeting girls in the busy, middle section of the stores.

Reception: Seemed bothered after approaching her and gave brief eye contact before picking through the shelves.

Approach: She was standing in the VERY corner of the store with high shelves blocking the sight.


Girl #2: Same Location

Went to the top floor in the clothing section and spotted a girl (blonde, early 30s, hotness – 8) in the baby section. The place was almost dead and the girl was not leaving the area. I walked over to the nearby section and pretended to “just notice her” before passing by.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi! (Chipper voice and eye contact)

Me: How’s your night going?

Girl: It’s going good. Thanks! (Swift, warm reaction with maintained eye contact)

Me: I just wanted to say hi because I thought you were attractive.

Girl: Oh! Thanks! (Chipper voice and breaks eye-contact down)

Me: Are you single?

Girl: Oh! (haha) No, I’m married! (haha)

Me: Oh, that’s right. Why else would you be in the baby section? Ok, just thought I would ask. Thanks

Girl: (Laughs, nods head, smiles, and looks back at clothing).

Me: Enjoy the rest of your night! (Really lame, I felt like a customer service rep here..)

Girl: Thanks! You too.

Note: I need a way of flirting with girls that are attached.

Reception: Chipper, but surprised. She did not get offended and actually rolled with the conversation politely. Perhaps girls approached often know that talking to a person is the BEST way of getting them to leave. LATER ON, MOST GIRLS OUT OF MY AGE GROUP DID NOT RESPOND NEARLY AS WELL. Perhaps there was some interest?

Approach: Tried doing it sneakily, but blew my cover for a 22 y.o. guy to be in the baby section of a store. I lingered on the other side of the aisle for over 45 sec. before getting the courage to approach.

Day 2: Hometown

Mood: Felt more awkward than nervous

Time: 330pm


Girl #3: Bed, Bath, and Beyond (Department Store)

Walked a couple laps around huge store on a Friday afternoon until spotted girl (white-brunette, 49, hotness-7) pushing a cart alone. Followed her around the store for making sure she was alone before approaching.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi (surprised tone of voice but full smile)

Me: Got a question for you. Are you single?

Girl: What? (gasp of astonishment, wider smile, and LOUD cackle).

Me: I thought you were attractive so I wanted to say hello.

Girl: No, no, no. Wow you cant be serious!

Me: Ok, just thought I would ask. Have a good one!

(Met again in another part of store)

Girl: Ok, how old are you? (hands on hips. I thought she was reconsidering.)

Me: Oh, I’m 22.

Girl: oh, my gosh. I still cant believe it, I’m almost 50! (Laughing histerically).

(Met again at checkout stand and walked out of store together)

Me: You seemed really surprised back there.

Girl: You have no idea! I still can’t believe it!

Me: So, that’s never happened before?

Girl: No, it never has. Wow.

Me: Ok then, have a nice day!

Note: I saw her three times and failed escalating in each situation. I require material and skill for approaching girls CLEARLY out of my age group.

Reception: Startled and surprised. I need to go back and read Chase’s article about shopping game and dealing with surprised reactions.

Approach: Getting faster on approaching with less hesitation. Went in the aisle for about 5 sec. before approaching with the question. I believe Chase now that it does not matter to the girl WHY I am there.


Girl #4: T.J. Maxx

Lots of girls of all ages, but still afraid of approaching within earshot of other people. I had to wait until seeing a girl (White-brunette, early 30s, hotness-8) at a deserted edge of the store. Approached her from the side, but got similar results as the other three.

Me: Hi!

Girl: Hi (Bored tone of voice, but eye contact).

Me: Are you single?

Girl: (Pause with emotionless expression). No.

Me: Ok, just thought I would ask.

Girl: (Walks away).

Note: The girl rejected me, but did not say I was too young. I might have a shot at the early 30s range if I have a comeback to a flat “no.”
Reception: The girl did not seem surprised and took the approach with experience.

Approach: I approach with more speed and do not care about interactions looking like an accident. Chase mentions this in his daytime shopping article, if a girl likes me, it will not matter why I am in the store.


Takeaways:

Throughout entire experience doing day game, I approached with the following:

1) Keep eyes on the girl for at least two minutes to see if with a man.
2) Work the edge of the store and travel aisle by aisle.
3) (Hopefully) intersect girl by having her come to “your” aisle AFTER you.
4) Approach from side.

Tough cases: - REALLY NEED TO IMPROVE HERE
-Taller than me
-Older than me
-Married/Not single

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #8

I am done with the newbie assignment, but having issues finding time for posting. Skipping the post about #7 as well. I chose this phrase for the exercise. “Hi, are you single? (PAUSE) I just wanted to say hi because I thought you were attractive.”

Day 1: Hometown Shopping Center

Mood: Anxious

Time: 11am

Apparel: Tank top with pattern, Calvin Klein straight dark blue jeans, sperry shoes.
This type of apparel I see at school a lot and gets great reception from girls my age. Little did I know I was not meeting anyone NEAR my age. Thought shopping on the weekend would change the demographics, but was WRONG.


Girl #1 – Bed, Bath, and Beyond Department store

Slowly walked around the aisles until arriving in the cooking section and spotted a girl (blonde, late forties, hotness-7) by herself. Waited 30 sec. until positioning myself in the same aisle and another 5 sec. until opening.
Me: Hi!

Her: Hi (Annoyed tone of voice)

Me: Are you single?

Her: What!? (Surprised laugh)

Me: I just wanted to say hi because I thought you were attractive.

Her: Aren’t you like eighteen or something?!

Me: Uhh...yes. (I do not know why I agreed and decreased my age by four years).

Her: Okay…wow!

Me: Alright. Have a nice day then! (Walked away)

Her: (Still standing there chuckling)

Note: I feel absolutely ridiculed, but at least I am getting more courage for approaching. I almost knew what would happen, but went with it anyway.

Approach: I tried for the accidental approach, but my appearance killed it. I dressed like a frat boy instead of a mature gentleman.

Takeaways: I require finer clothes when approaching older women. I could look up to five years older wearing a dress shirt and slacks like I just got off work.


Girl #2 – Same Location

Made several laps around the store until spotted a girl (Latina, early 30s, hotness-8) in the candle section. I tried approaching her, but she darted away before approaching the same aisle. She zig-zagged through half the store for ten min. before settling down in the cooking section. I did not wait more than 3 sec. before approaching her.

Me: Hi!

Her: Hi (Drawled out in a shy manner, great eye contact, and whole body turned towards me)

Me: Are you single?

Her: Um, yes (Looked down and faced back towards the shelf)

Me: I wanted to say hi because I thought you were attractive.

Her: Oh! Thanks. (Still looking at shelf, but smiles and face turns BRIGHT red).

Me: (Speechless)

Her: Well…I am gonna go over here. (Face still red and pushes cart away).


Approach: Tried for the “oops we stumbled on each other” approach. I get within a closer proximity that way and maintain a calm energy.

Reaction: Never had a girl blush at me yet.

Takeway: I should have follow-up question lined up in cases where the girl keeps looking at me and does not laugh. Not laughing = pull the trigger and keep trying.


Day #2 – Hometown Shopping Center

Mood: bored

Time: 4pm

Girl #3: Bed, Bath, and Beyond Department Store

Walking into the store, I spotted a girl (black, late 20s, hotness-8) right besides me entering. I went to the other side of the store and backtracked to intercept in an aisle.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi

Me: Are you single?

Girl: (Haha) No I’m not. (The reaction was TOO smooth, almost expected)

Me: I thought you were attractive and just wanted to know. I’m X by the way.

Girl: Hi, I’m Tanya! (Shook hands)

Me: So what brings you here today? (Lame question, but had to keep the ball rolling)

Girl: Oh, I’m just getting some sheets for the bedroom.

Me: Oh wow! (Best chance for sexual chase frame here, but couldn’t think on my feet)

Girl: Ok, well… (Anxious to leave, but did not want to see rude)

Me: Ok! Good luck finding the sheets! Nice meeting you.

Approach: Did the accidental approach again after scouting the entire store for an interception.

Reaction: Was a sweet girl and kept talking to me despite the lame questions.

Takeaways: Need some good follow up questions until the reactions become instinctive.

Girl #4 – Ross Department Store

Walked around the store about 10min. until giving up and waiting in a position at the corner of the store for fresh game. I saw a girl (Middle-Eastern, early 30s, hotness-7) enter and go to the baby/toy section and I went for the obvious approach of walking STRAIGHT up to her (no b.s. here!).

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi (Calm expression)
Me: Are you single?

Girl: No, I’m not. (SUPER calm demeanor, intimidating)

Me: I thought you were attractive so I wanted to say hi. I’m X.

Girl: Wow! Thank you. I’m X. You know, X, I think that’s really cool that you did that. (Finally got a humanistic reaction from her)

Me: I had to take a chance after seeing you.

Girl: Yeah I think that’s really cool. I gotta go, cya! (Scary how quickly she flicked me off)

Approach: There was no excuse I could pull for going into the baby section, so I walked straight over. She saw me walk up over her shoulder, but I still approached from the side.

Reaction: Good to hear that my approach was “cool” and made her happy. Gave me more hope that girls like cold-approaches.

Takeaway: Walking straight up to THE SIDE of a girl might be the best option instead of snaking my way through the store. It appears more confident instead of the “surprise” coincidence.

Assignment #8 Takeaways:

-Start approaching girls your age at different locations.
-Dress upscale when approaching the older crowd.
-Learn come-backs if the older women do not laugh.

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #9

Done with the Newbie assignment about two weeks ago, but am having time conflicts writing reports. Two weekends ago on a Friday, I was fortunate enough to hit all four girls on the same night.

Mood: Focused

Time: 10pm

Time Constraint: 2 hrs.

Location #1: Bookstore

Girl #1

Went to the bookstore after my usual beer at the brewery down the street. Spotted a girl (Latina, early 30s, hotness-8) walking around the store. She was speeding through many aisles, so I decided to set up at a popular aisle intersection and wait.

Me: Hi (Said louder than usual to stop a moving person)

Girl: Hi! (Big smile and not surprised)

Me: How’s your night going?

Girl: It’s going good thanks. How about you? (She had longer eye contact than others I’ve experienced).

Me: Oh, I thought you were attractive so I had to say hello!

Girl: Thanks! Your sweet. (Not surprised at all)

Me: So, what brings you here tonight?

Girl: Oh, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m sobering up enough to drive home!

Me: Oh, cool. Lots of fun already, and the night is still young.

Girl: Oh, shoot, what time is it!

Me: Hmm….It will cost you $5. Take a guess.

Girl: (Drunken grin and laughter)

Me: Little bit after 10.

Girl: Ok, I should get going then, I would always walk home. I don’t live far away.

Me: So your not up for anything tonight? How far away do you live?

Girl: Like ten minutes away. (Sigh)

Me: (Speechless for five seconds)

Girl: Well, cya! Have a good night!


Approach: Waited for the girl to come to me before opening. I never caught a girl’s attention with a loud voice before.

Reception: The alcohol loosened her up so she seemed happy enough for conversation. Appeared friendly to me, but not flirty.

Takeaways: Blew the perfect chance for going home with a hot, drunk girl living locally. Should of said something like “You’re going home? Is that an invitation?” I had a lot of material to work with, but was rusty talking to the first girl of the night.


Location #2: Lounge Nightclub

Surprised the location had a line at 10pm with a packed house inside before 12am. First time clubbing when the girl to guy ratio was COMPLETELY EVEN! Even though I went by myself, it turned out as the best clubbing night in the last three years. In the two hours spent in the club, I was the only guy who approached girls out of a crowd of at least 100 people. Guy and girl groups stayed separated in seating areas, both bars, dance floor, and designated standing areas. I did not see any mixed gender groups for the first time in any social gathering besides middle school!


Girl #2

Saw a group of 5 girls dancing with low energy in a loose circle with one (blonde, late 20s, hotness-8) standing against the wall.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi (Hesitant hello, but her body turned to me)

Me: How’s your night going?

Girl: Good thanks (Low energy response)

Me: I thought you were attractive so I had to say hello.

Girl: Thanks (Emotionless expression and turned to friend to say something)

Me: Aren’t you supposed to be dancing in a club? (My attempt at banter)

Girl: Oh, no I am trying to stay with my friends! (Finally got a smile)

Me: It’s a small place, you won’t loose them (Extends my hand)

Girl: It’s ok. You go have fun. (Turns to friends and shuts me out)


Approach: Saw her along wall and went up to her from the side before opening.

Reaction: She turned her whole body towards me, but I must of said something that turned her off.

Takeaways: Surprised I did not get good reception from her despite exhibiting positive signs. She was playing with her hair, standing away from her friends, looking into the crowd and looked at me first.


Girl #3

Did not waste any time from the last girl to find a group of two girls dancing, but not talking to each other. Approached the second-hottest girl (Asian, late 20s, hotness-7) from the side.

Me: Hi, How’s your night going?

Her: Good! How about yours?

Me: Good!

Her: Did you come alone? (puzzled expression on her face)

Me: No, I’m at my friend’s going away party. He’s moving to New York! (Lie)

Her: Wow! That’s cool.

Me: I wanted to come over because I thought you were attractive!

Her: Thanks! But look… (Holds up finger with ring on it)

Me: Your married? Then why are you at a club? (pinched her arm)

Her: I’m here with my friend. Go talk to her! (giggling)

I turned and opened to the friend, but receive zero reception. The girl was looking away and pretending not to notice even though I stood next to her AND the friend was trying to her the attention.

Approach: Approached the girl looking the most bored out of the two. She was facing against the wall, so approached her until within a 2ft. proximity so that she would notice. I know this was the WRONG was to approach a girl in the club, but it was a shot I had to take.

Reception: Was happy with the approach and complement, but picked the wrong girl.

Takeaway: I still need to research lines to say for married/attached women. She must have had a crazy side for going to a club.


Girl #4

After dancing with a girl for 30 min (will cover that story in another post), I went up to a girl (Latina, late 20s, hotness-8) in a group of 5 girls. The group was encircled in a rough circle, but none where on the dancefloor dancing. I circled the group several times until catching the eye of the girl I wanted, stood next to her for catching the attention, and opened up.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hello (Smiled)

Me: How’s your night going?

Girl: Um, good! Thanks. (Her friends started looking at her and she looked back at).

Me: Can I trust you with this? (Holding out my hand)

Girl: Huh!? (Moved in closer to me)

Me: Do you dance?

Girl: Oh, sorry. I am going to stay here with my friends.

Me: Oh, well I can be your friend too. (I stumbled and just friendzoned myself)

Girl: (Smiles at me then walks inside her group of girl friends).


Approach: She was at the edge of the group not talking to anyone so I approached from the side.

Reaction: Not surprised at all, probably got hit on a lot before me. Another thing, she was about 3’’ taller than me. I am 5’8’’ with dress shoes on and she was clearly taller than me. Probably would of taken a reputation hit for talking to me.

Takeaway: Work on conversation topics to say if she does not want to move away from the group. Banter is really the sticking point for me.


Assignment Takeaways:
Banter represents the greatest sticking point of the newbie assignment. I approached 10 girls that night, but could only bring up banter in 4 cases. I will have to prepare phrases ahead of time and write the content down.

Problems to Fix:
-Coming up with sexual frames (girl in bookstore example)
-Handling girls who are married (lounge girl)
-Speaking to girls in all girl groups (I have never been in this situation before or seen it. I could tell it was a magical night)

 

[BarryS1]

Assignment #10

Finished the newbie assignment almost three weeks ago, but pressed on time for posting. The assignment occurred during the school year, so I did not have enough time for approaching on the same day. I got all four girls within a four day period, with one per day.

Girl #1: Street

Walking down shopping center sidewalk and spotted a girl (black, early 20s, hotness-7) exiting a department store. I remembered reading Ricardus’s article about asking girls “Are you single?” while walking on the street.

Me: Hi!

Her: (Takes off headphones)

Me: Hi!

Her: Hello (African accent of some type)

Me: Are you single?

Her: Um, yes. (Slow smile and tight eye contact)

Me: I thought you were attractive and wanted to say hi.

Her: Oh…thanks.

Me: So what are you up to today? (I had no idea what to say to keep convo moving)

Her: I am going to church.

Me: Oh yeah, what time?

Her: I am going to church at 1. (Spoke very slowly and stumbling w/ her English)

Me: So you come here every Sunday at this time?

Her: Yes, I will go to Ross first.

Me: Well, maybe we should grab a bite to eat sometime.

Her: Uhh…sure. (She seemed more surprised and stumbled with her words more)

Me: (Handed her my phone without a word and she put her name/number in)

Me: My name is Barry by the way.

Her: Yeras (Placing her hand on her chest)

Me: Great, see you around!

Her: Okay (Emotionless reply, put back headphones on and left without turning back)


Approach: First time doing head-on while walking on the street. I was not afraid of saying hi because no one was around.

Reaction: She seemed surprised, but not as much as other girls in department stores. Turns out she is from Ethiopia and probably used to being approached.

Takeaways: I did not do any banter, but got straight to the chase about meeting up again.

Outcome: Texted her with the correct format from Chase’s post and got a date set up. She canceled the day of the date for lunch and said sorry. I followed-up four days later and found out she was leaving that week for Ethiopia for a month. She said meeting up for coffee would be good after the trip.


Location #2 - College

Girl #2 – School bench in a building

Saw a girl (Asian, early 20s, hotness – 8) sitting on my favorite bench in the engineering building. This was the most attractive girl I’ve ever seen in the building over the 4 ½ years in college.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi (Head bolted upright and looked and me in surprise)

Me: How’s your day so far?
Girl: Good! Are you waiting for professor X? (Talking very fast)

Me: No, just had a spare moments before class. How about you?

Summary of talk:

Length – 15 min.

Topics – In same field as me. Talked about ourselves, how we got into the field, favorite classes, and our futures.

The good – She was impressed how soon I started getting work experience in a tough field.

The bad – I played the “nice” guy and offered her e-books on a software program. She returned the favor and offered other books and white papers in return.

(Closing at the end)

Me: Well class is about the start. We should do this again sometime.

Girl: Um, uh, sure ok (Smiled awkwardly, but could not catch her reaction if positive or negative)

Me: How can I contact you again?

Girl: Oh yeah! The e-books right?

Me: What is your email? (This felt like a professional discussion so I did not ask for a #)

Girl: Have a good class!

Me: (Smiled and left)


Approach: Said hi to her the instant I sat down.

Reaction: Surprised because I interrupted, but VERY talkative afterwards.

Takeways: Never met a girl that attractive with so much caliber. Up to now the most attractive girl I have ever meet. I friendzoned myself by offering value as someone sending her field-related materials.

Outcome: Emailed her the next day and sent her the e-books, but did not get a reply until 5 days later. She sent the e-books and wrote a lot of job-related text. The next day I emailed w/ Chase’s template about meeting up for a bite to eat that week. The reply said she goes home right away after school to feed her son and never has free time.


Location #3 – Lounge Nightclub

Girl #3

The interaction occurred the same night as assignment #9 with a girl (Latina, early 30s, hotness-7) on the dancefloor. There was 30min. of dancing and no talking until I met up with her a second time that night.

Dancing consisted of salsa, grinding, kissing her neck, and picking her up while dry humping. She had ZERO resistance to anything I did besides trying to kiss her lips. Her nipples were visibly hard through her shirt the entire time dancing. She got tired after 30min. and excused herself to the bathroom.

I saw her again with her friends on the dancefloor after talking to the last girl of the night. Here’s the conversation:

Me: Hi

Girl: (Smiles and turns whole body towards me)

Me: Hey, I gotta leave now wha… (she interrupts me)

Girl: Oh! Where do you live?

Me: X

Girl: That’s where I work.

Me: How can I contact you? (She was already pulling out her phone) No, use my phone.

Girl: Ok (spent about three minutes trying to put in her name/number but kept messing up)

Me: Ok, how about a goodnight kiss?

Girl: (Laughs) No! (She went for a hug)

Me: (Hugs) Cya!


Approach: I bumped hips with her as suggested by Chase’s dance floor seduction post.

Reception: The girl immediately noticed me, took my hand, and started doing the salsa dance.

Takeaways: I felt really dirty doing all those things to her on the dancefloor. I have never touched a girl like that, plus a lot of people were watching. On top of that, no one was dancing with other people on the dancefloor. She was the only one that night who wanted to dance.

Outcome: I set up my first date without any direct help from anyone else. Will post on the date, but ended up making out in the backseat of her car!


Location #4 – Target

Girl #4

In a real time crunch, but decided on entering the store with only 15min. to spare. Went to the toy section and saw a girl (blonde, early 30s, hotness – 8) crouching down at the bottom shelf.

Me: Hi

Girl: Hi (Turns around with polite smile)

Me: Are you single?

Girl: Oh! No, I’m married actually. (Smile was genuine, but turned towards the toys again)

Me: Well, I’m not looking for a wife. I thought you were attractive and wanted to say hi.

Girl: Oh thanks, I don’t here it that often. (Laughter)

Me: (awkward 8 sec. pause) So what brings you here today?

Girl: I am buying hot wheels for my son! He loves them. How about you? (voice still chipper surprisingly)

Me: I am buying toys for my brother. Hot wheels are fun until you step on them huh?

Girl: Oh yeah, I bet! (Another smile, then turned into a frown as she looked back to the toys – crazy quick change of mood)

Me: Hey, would you like to get a bite to eat sometime? (My face was getting red when asking)
Girl: Sorry, I have to be a good wife. (Fake smile then turned back to toys frowning)

Me: Ok, just wanted to know!

Approach: Took to long approaching her. I think a guy in the toys section looking around seems suspicious.

Reception: Halfway through the conversation, she turned from amused to annoyed. I should of kept plowing with a conversation.

Takeaways: I had three lines ready: 1) Hi, you single 2) I thought you were attractive and wanted to say hi 3) I am not looking for a wife right now. I need a 4th ready for tough cases.

Outcome: I got rejected, but felt amazing the rest of the day. I knew I was gonna get rejected, but wanted practice voicing the words.


Assignment’s takeaways:
- The greatest gains involved the greatest amount of risk in approaching
- Being quick on my feet resulted in being put in the best positions