Basic eyes contact question

[Winston]

I am working to improve my eyes contact and I realize that I don't know what to do after a pretty basic point.

I was sitting on a table with my friends (males and females) and at another table, maybe 10-15 meters away, there was a woman at another table sitting with her friends (males and females).
While looking around I feel she was looking at me, so I locked my eyes with hers, and we looked at each other during maybe 3 or 4 seconds, and she was the first to look away.
So all was good until that point but afterwards I avoid her gaze because I was lost on what to do next.

I felt like I could easily repeat the same feat (locking eyes during few seconds until she looks away), but it seems like things would have stagnated and not progressed and that this would make things somewhat awkwards (like "are we going to do that all evening lol?!").

My question is what to do after the first eyes contact? Repeat the same 3-4 seconds stare, with maybe this time the addition of a smile? And what kind of smile?
And how long after the first one this second eyes contact should happen? 30 seconds after the initial eyes contact? 5 minutes after?

It sounds a bit tricky to keep from a distance the initial tension going on, over an extended period (ie. over enough time so I can open her when one of our two groups start to leave the place).

 

[PalmaSailor]

If she looked away to the side she wasnt interested but if she looked down then she was interested and submitting and you should just approach and say “hi” and take it from there.

or wink at her and wave her over to your table

 

[Rakehell]

If she looked away to the side she wasnt interested but if she looked down then she was interested

Simply not true.

Eye contact is subconscious communication and looking to the side can mean many things.

It’s a neutral break, it doesn’t sub communicate that she feels subservient, but she isn’t dismissing you either.

I think what’s most important here is that she initiated the eye contact first, the length of the eye contact, and the fact that she broke it first in a non dismissive way.

At this point you can interpret it as sub communicated interest and find a way to meet her.

What you don’t want to do is try to initiate eye contact with her again before you meet her. This is because if she wasn’t subcommunicating interest deliberately then you’ll be subcommunicating your interest and it’ll feel like a pursuit.

It’s best to use it as an excuse to meet her instead of trying to play more eye contact games.

On the other hand if she actively looks at you again and initiates more eye contact before you meet her, she’s probably deliberately telegraphing interest and you can safely assume she’s attracted to you.

Which means go meet her still.

Good rule of thumb is don’t look away first if she initiates it.

 

[PalmaSailor]

You’re wrong but it’s not worth the effort to argue.
Good luck!

 

[Winston]

Simply not true.

Eye contact is subconscious communication and looking to the side can mean many things.

It’s a neutral break, it doesn’t sub communicate that she feels subservient, but she isn’t dismissing you either.

I think what’s most important here is that she initiated the eye contact first, the length of the eye contact, and the fact that she broke it first in a non dismissive way.

At this point you can interpret it as sub communicated interest and find a way to meet her.

What you don’t want to do is try to initiate eye contact with her again before you meet her. This is because if she wasn’t subcommunicating interest deliberately then you’ll be subcommunicating your interest and it’ll feel like a pursuit.

It’s best to use it as an excuse to meet her instead of trying to play more eye contact games.

On the other hand if she actively looks at you again and initiates more eye contact before you meet her, she’s probably deliberately telegraphing interest and you can safely assume she’s attracted to you.

Which means go meet her still.

Good rule of thumb is don’t look away first if she initiate it

I felt that she was again looking actively after our first eyes contact, thus I could easily repeat an another eyes contact if I wanted to.

Basically I am pretty sure she was really interested, but the configuration was complicated: I was with friends and her too, she was sitting next to a guy and I wasn't even sure he wasn't her boyfriend (turned out he probably wasn't). An approach would have put a lot of pressure on both of us vis-à-vis our respective group of friends.

So that's why I think keep playing eyes contact games, until more favorable circumstances developped, was the best thing to do. But I avoided it because I wasn't sure how to keep playing this game of eyes contact, because it is uncharted territory for me.

 

[Rakehell]

I felt that she was again looking actively after our first eyes contact, thus I could easily repeat an another eyes contact if I wanted to.

Basically I am pretty sure she was really interested, but the configuration was complicated: I was with friends and her too, she was sitting next to a guy and I wasn't even sure he wasn't her boyfriend (turned out he probably wasn't). An approach would have put a lot of pressure on both of us vis-à-vis our respective group of friends.

So that's why I think keep playing eyes contact games, until more favorable circumstances developped, was the best thing to do. But I avoided it because I wasn't sure how to keep playing this game of eyes contact, because it is uncharted territory for me.

Yeah in those cases I learned it’s better to approach than not approach at all. Helps having a smoother opening to take your shot, but alot of times things just don’t line up ideally.

If she keeps flashing you looks, you can continue making brief eye contact with her. Maybe motioning her nonverbally to come to you with your head or hands playfully.

If all else fails and you’re feeling brave you could just go over and introduce yourself. Won’t lose you any cool points. In fact it’d gain you some for being so bold.

Here’s an example that i’ve seen around on the site:

Could bring it up to your group beforehand like “I gotta go talk to this girl”.

 

[Lobo]

"You should at least say hi if you're going to look at me like that"

After 4 sec of eye contact like that, 100% you should approach smoothly(ie, don't b-line straight to her)

 

[Kaida]

"You should at least say hi if you're going to look at me like that"

After 4 sec of eye contact like that, 100% you should approach smoothly(ie, don't b-line straight to her)

I find whenever I call out her interested behavior like that the girl almost always denies it like “No… not really” or just stay silent. Is that a bad thing or

 

[Lobo]

I find whenever I call out her interested behavior like that the girl almost always denies it like “No… not really” or just stay silent. Is that a bad thing or

Don't think I've ever got a bad open when I use this. Granted, these 2 things always happen.

1) we actually held eye contact for at least 2 seconds
2) i open with a grin and my entire vibe is playful.

If girls arent getting playful back then i think its a vibe issue. Sometimes you will get people who are just emotional rocks and you cant vibe with, but thats rare.

If a girl goes like "no, no", i'd keep smiling and making eye contact with her as if to communicate "BS", but i would just continue the set.

I got the open, time to move forward