Hey Y'all,
Starting this journal to help keep myself accountable. I bought Hector's Day game course a few months ago but never really put it into practice. The only part of the course I really did was to start looking out for approach invitations. I think I'm pretty good at spotting them now, but I'm dragging my feet when it comes to actually approaching.
A little background on me- I'm 28 years old I've been reading this site for about 6 years, on and off. I have around 50-60 lays and at least twice as many dates (Only had 2 lays when I started reading this at age 22). Probably 75% of these came from dating apps, with the rest coming from social circle and dive bars. I've been off the dating apps for 5 or 6 months now and I've managed to sleep with a new girl a month from bars, but I'd really like to up my quality. Basically I've been shooting layups for so long that I'm not sure if I know how to shoot 3 pointers (call me Ben Simmons lol). I'm very comfortable and confident once I'm in a conversation with a girl (what Chase calls a Meet Up Artist), so I really want to focus on opening and hooking so that I can get to the point where I'm comfortable.
Chase's article on the types of learners got me to see what my problem is (I'm a plateauer who's been stuck at the same level for at least a year or two) https://www.girlschase.com/article/mindsets/how-likely-are-you-succeed-learner-motivation-quadrant
So I thought that keeping a journal might help me be more focused and become an achiever.
That's enough background. On to the main event.
Currently I am on vacation in Miami Beach, Florida. I'm staying in a shared room in a hostel so my logistics aren't good, but I'd still like to work on opening and hooking while I'm here.
Today was both good and bad. It was the first day that I actually opened women on the street, so I'm happy about that. But I ejected after opening all five times, which has me pretty mad at myself.
Overall, I counted 11 approach invitations while I was walking around today and opened 5 of them. Of the 6 I didn't open: 2 I wasn't completely sure of, 3 would have required me to jog up to them, and 1 was a girl sitting at a table with 3 other girls. (definitely don't feel comfortable jogging up to a girl or opening a group sitting down yet. I wish I did though because these were the 4 hottest girls that gave me AIs today.)
Below is a recap of each approach I did. I will give my reason/excuse for why I didn't follow through. (In parenthesis I'll say what I think I should have done.)
The first girl happened while I was leaning against a post waiting for a light to change. She came up to one side of me, then slowly circled around for no apparent reason. I said Hi and she said Hi back but didn't seem enthusiastic, so I didn't say anything else. We separated when the light changed. ( I should have made some chit chat, introduced myself, tried to get a conversation going.)
Second girl was a little while later during midday. It was a beautiful sunny day and I was spacing out as I walked. Suddenly my attention was grabbed. I noticed that a cute, tan blonde girl in front of me was turning her head and flipping her hair as I looked in her direction. I noticed that she was carrying an umbrella even though it was really sunny. She stopped at a red light, I walked up to her and opened:
"I hope you don't need that umbrella today" (gesturing at the sky)
"I hope so too, but just in case" (she has some sort of European accent, smiles a little at me.)
Me....
I didn't say anything after that. The light changed and we started walking in the same direction. I was hoping that she would re-engage me, but she didn't. So after a block, I turned and headed down a side street in shame. (I really should have introduced myself, flirted, tried anything. I felt like a really fucking idiot after that one. This approach made me realize that I usually only get with girls that carry that initial bit of conversation for me. I really need to start being more outgoing and doing the heavy lifting upfront if I want to get higher quality girls.
The last 3 approaches were on the street after dusk, and they all were exactly the same. A cute girl was walking towards me on the street. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. I say Hi, she said Hi back. And we both kept walking. I turned to look at all three after we passed each other. Two of the three turned to look back at me. (I should have planted my feet, introduced myself or complimented the girls, and then started a conversation. And I could have said something to the two girls that looked back at me).
After the third time, I decided to call it quits for the day and headed back to my hostel. I wasn't in the mood for a club tonight and the only dive bars I've found down here are completely packed with older tourists or have mainly Spanish speaking patrons(I only speak English).
So today wasn't a success, but I've never done more than one sober approach in a day before so I'm sort of happy with that. Tomorrow's a new day, as they say.
-Dallas
Starting this journal to help keep myself accountable. I bought Hector's Day game course a few months ago but never really put it into practice. The only part of the course I really did was to start looking out for approach invitations. I think I'm pretty good at spotting them now, but I'm dragging my feet when it comes to actually approaching.
A little background on me- I'm 28 years old I've been reading this site for about 6 years, on and off. I have around 50-60 lays and at least twice as many dates (Only had 2 lays when I started reading this at age 22). Probably 75% of these came from dating apps, with the rest coming from social circle and dive bars. I've been off the dating apps for 5 or 6 months now and I've managed to sleep with a new girl a month from bars, but I'd really like to up my quality. Basically I've been shooting layups for so long that I'm not sure if I know how to shoot 3 pointers (call me Ben Simmons lol). I'm very comfortable and confident once I'm in a conversation with a girl (what Chase calls a Meet Up Artist), so I really want to focus on opening and hooking so that I can get to the point where I'm comfortable.
Chase's article on the types of learners got me to see what my problem is (I'm a plateauer who's been stuck at the same level for at least a year or two) https://www.girlschase.com/article/mindsets/how-likely-are-you-succeed-learner-motivation-quadrant
So I thought that keeping a journal might help me be more focused and become an achiever.
That's enough background. On to the main event.
Currently I am on vacation in Miami Beach, Florida. I'm staying in a shared room in a hostel so my logistics aren't good, but I'd still like to work on opening and hooking while I'm here.
Today was both good and bad. It was the first day that I actually opened women on the street, so I'm happy about that. But I ejected after opening all five times, which has me pretty mad at myself.
Overall, I counted 11 approach invitations while I was walking around today and opened 5 of them. Of the 6 I didn't open: 2 I wasn't completely sure of, 3 would have required me to jog up to them, and 1 was a girl sitting at a table with 3 other girls. (definitely don't feel comfortable jogging up to a girl or opening a group sitting down yet. I wish I did though because these were the 4 hottest girls that gave me AIs today.)
Below is a recap of each approach I did. I will give my reason/excuse for why I didn't follow through. (In parenthesis I'll say what I think I should have done.)
The first girl happened while I was leaning against a post waiting for a light to change. She came up to one side of me, then slowly circled around for no apparent reason. I said Hi and she said Hi back but didn't seem enthusiastic, so I didn't say anything else. We separated when the light changed. ( I should have made some chit chat, introduced myself, tried to get a conversation going.)
Second girl was a little while later during midday. It was a beautiful sunny day and I was spacing out as I walked. Suddenly my attention was grabbed. I noticed that a cute, tan blonde girl in front of me was turning her head and flipping her hair as I looked in her direction. I noticed that she was carrying an umbrella even though it was really sunny. She stopped at a red light, I walked up to her and opened:
"I hope you don't need that umbrella today" (gesturing at the sky)
"I hope so too, but just in case" (she has some sort of European accent, smiles a little at me.)
Me....
I didn't say anything after that. The light changed and we started walking in the same direction. I was hoping that she would re-engage me, but she didn't. So after a block, I turned and headed down a side street in shame. (I really should have introduced myself, flirted, tried anything. I felt like a really fucking idiot after that one. This approach made me realize that I usually only get with girls that carry that initial bit of conversation for me. I really need to start being more outgoing and doing the heavy lifting upfront if I want to get higher quality girls.
The last 3 approaches were on the street after dusk, and they all were exactly the same. A cute girl was walking towards me on the street. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. I say Hi, she said Hi back. And we both kept walking. I turned to look at all three after we passed each other. Two of the three turned to look back at me. (I should have planted my feet, introduced myself or complimented the girls, and then started a conversation. And I could have said something to the two girls that looked back at me).
After the third time, I decided to call it quits for the day and headed back to my hostel. I wasn't in the mood for a club tonight and the only dive bars I've found down here are completely packed with older tourists or have mainly Spanish speaking patrons(I only speak English).
So today wasn't a success, but I've never done more than one sober approach in a day before so I'm sort of happy with that. Tomorrow's a new day, as they say.
-Dallas
