Trying to pull-back previously auto-rejected girl
The past few days I've been texting this girl that I knew from my social circle. I saw her a number of times around and we talked about plants, but I never really got together with her. I gave her some plants and she gave me some seeds. I previously ignored her for quite a bit and I'm pretty sure I sent her into some deep auto-rejection. Texts and my notes below:
Me: How are the plants doing?
HB: Chives medium, it had too much water. Parsley great. I ate yesterday. You want them back? Did you plant the seeds?
Me: I want to plant the seeds but I don't know how. have you done it before?
Me: I have some earth stuff in the box
(
asking for compliance on her part here, trying to see if she will hook)
HB: You can find explanation on the internet i think
HB: <sends pic of some random plant stuff>
Me: oh... thank you
(
she complied, so reward her!)
HB: Ah no one thing
HB: The ground is dehydrated. You have to put it in water for it to become normal size
HB: Then you put the seed in it. It's not rocket science. You'll manage
Me: ok
thanks
Me: what about your egg trick?
Me: i think that is the old way of doing it. my mom used to do the same, she's also good with plants
(more compliance here. also similarity, for attraction and to reward her)
HB: You can put the ground in the package. But better use pot
HB: You can put inside yoghurt or any other container
HB: You can ask her
Me: oki
Me: wow.. i never heard of putting them in yoghurt
(
here I wanted to cut the conversation given that she sent me to my mom, lol. I thought it was a little lack of attainability on my side. the last part was more of a hail mary, I thought maybe she'd continue from here)
HB: Bah you don't need to hear it. You can use anything where you can put ground inside <shrug emoji>
HB: Is it that surprising?
Me: ah noo i didn't mean it like that haha. you're a good gardener, i like your advice
Me: but wait, you put it in the ground, not in yoghurt, right?
Me: it's just the yoghurt container
(
yeah. she went deeper into auto-rejection here it seems, that last text from her seemed super direct and a bit rude. but she did continue. So i just wanted to chill out the conversation and be less of a challenge for now)
HB: Yes
HB: I don't do it like that. I put all directly in a big jardiniere.
Me: ah that makes sense! I was about to make a salad lol
Me: I don't have a jardiniere :/ I'll improvise with some containers
(
here again no more compliance, just fun and relaxed vibe)
HB: Yeah. I forgot to give you some. I still can if you want
Me: yeah I'd love that
(
free investment, wuhu. So I react accordingly with a warm statement)
Essentially she made the meetup plan herself at this point. Here's where I fucked up though. I didn't send her anything after this. I got a bit lazy, was thinking maybe she would tell me when she's free or something. But nope, no response from her. I realised I did something stupid, so I quickly texted her ~4 hours later.
Me: <pic of new gadget I got that she has also> got something nice in the mail!
Me: you can come over and drop them off if you want. i wanted to give you your gift also
Me: or I can pick them up when I'm close. no pressure
(
I told her I had a gift for her last time i saw her, cause she was previously very nice with me)
HB: Niice
HB: We'll organise this weekend
Me: oki
Me: i'm busy on Sunday afternoon, but other than that I should be free
(
this one was meant to get her to chase me a bit, in addition to me really being busy. It's a time constraint, and framing me as the prize a bit. But, it lowered my attainability I think, so perhaps not an ideal text to send. I'm already the prize here.)
After this I didn't text her again for 1 day. I think it was a fuck-up again on my side. It made me look a bit lazy, like I was expecting her to take the lead instead of doing it myself. I texted her afterwards again, this morning (it's a Friday so it's quite freaking late)
Me: hey HB, hope you're having a nice day
Me: here's what I propose: tmr or Sunday, you get the pots and come over. we plant the seeds together. then i give you your gift, we listen to some music and drink some coffee/tea. then afterwards you can go if you wish
Me: does that sound good?
(
taking the lead here, concrete plan. I think the part where I told her she can go didn't sound right though, like I wanted to kick her out afterwards)
HB: Hi Darius, I won't have time. Best is I give you the pot tonight at the beach I think
(
she left me on seen for a few hours before sending me this. I don't know whether she wasn't decided, or she just didn't care enough to reply instantly. I am indeed going to the beach tonight as it's a friend's last day here.)
Me: that won't work, we'll be drinking and staying up late. i'll more than likely lose them
Me: we can drop the coffee. it will be a quick 10 minute meet-up so you have time to get other stuff
you're going to love the gift
(
here i'm trying to address her objection and oversell the gift, and get her excited about meeting up. I think however it might have come across as a bit chasey. I'm not sure)
After this I haven't heard from her. I don't know what will happen when I see her, but it's kinda clear we don't have a 1-on-1 meeting set up, so I really don't expect this to go anywhere.
Mistakes / lessons
1. When a girl is giving you compliance, never ever stop the interaction. As a seducer, you must go until either she says no and leaves, you fuck her, or you have a concrete plan set up to see her. This is easy to do in person but seems to be equally as important over text. Stopping when you get compliance and re-starting after a day or two means she'll cool off to you and even worse, maybe enter auto-rejection.
Note on this one: i think if I continued the interaction where it left off after the break, it would have been better. I'd have at least preserved some of the vibe that was there the last time. Instead I chose to start from scratch.
2. Take the lead. Make concrete plans even if you see women are flakey or they are auto-rejecting. You can't make them to soon if she's in auto-rejection, otherwise it will look like chasing, but at the same time once you DO get compliance from her, make stuff happen, don't expect her to take the lead.
3. Always assume attraction, even with rude or auto-rejecting girls. I didn't pull the trigger fast enough on her because I saw her behaviour and was a bit on edge. I need to be comfortable even in the face of any kind of behaviour, and know that I am the prize in the end.
If anyone's made it this far, thanks. I appreciate any feedback or opinions.
Darius
