FU Being on the other side

[Shadow]

Hi All,

This will be my 2nd post on the forums so please don't hesitate to critique it vigorously

I went clubbing last night with a friend and ended up on a table with some girls from my very wide social circle (or in other words known entities from university). The interesting part of this report is that I literally got hit on hard. One of the girls was chasing me all night around the bar, making comments trying to make conversation... In short she was leading the whole process. It was quite weird I've never experienced this in such a degree before. The 'issue' was that I don't like her all that much and I've heard that she is going through some emotional meltdown because of a breakup with her boyfriend a month ago ..

I really wanted to do damage control here and not get involved. However as the night went on, with drink count increasing, compliance growing from her (wasn't even intentional on my end) and several other straight forward comments such as "why don't you take a girl home?" "why are you talking to guys and not hitting on girls?" things sort of escalated and my brain shifted to "oh well why not?". Dirty dancing etc and then suddenly she just said "lets go home and have a drink" ... Quite frankly I was shocked ) Went into the taxi, started going to her place and she started worrying something about her room mate how she'll kill her .. Then she shot a random question with a very pissed off tone "why didn't you invite me to your place?!" and at this point my alarm bells started going off a bit as there was a nutter in that taxi and it wasn't the driver.

We got to her apartment, went to the living room she opened a bottle of wine and we started talking. This is where my alarm bells started really going off - she started asking me very personal questions regarding why I broke up with my ex (which was a long term 4.5 years thing..), then started asking me what is the deal between me and this other girl at university and wouldn't let it be.. She seemed super nervous and confused - I could swear her hands were shaking. She then escalated to talking about her own Ex and why they broke up with a very sad face... You can imagine how NOT turning on this is so I tried to cheer up the mood a bit etc got her to sit next to me.. She then went into "omg ur such a nice guy" talk. I excused myself and went to her bathroom (no intentions here, that alcohol had to come out somehow) and it was quite funny as I could hear her running a few times in front of the door doing something ?! for a moment I thought she'd be naked when I get out or something .. Got back, sat down convo continued in this very weird way and then suddenly she said I am going to bed. So this is where my sobering brain took the decision to let this one go and go home. So I literally said okay and called myself a cab - it was slightly awkward, but compared to the rest of the night it was like a James Bond move

Wasn't sure whether to call this a Fuck up report or a learning one as to be honest I didn't really put any effort into this at all and I'm actually glad I didn't sleep with her right now. Moreover, it was a very interesting experience to see things from 'the other side' of seduction.

Anyhow, just wanted to check what you guys think on this one? Has this happened to you ? And I know this is a subjective question, but do you reckon I did the better thing in the long run by NOT sleeping with her?

P.S. I also wrote a fuck up report on the beginners section, but never got any responses. Questions raised there are a bit outdated, but would love if someone could have a look and throw in some general feedback

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5147

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

then suddenly she said I am going to bed. So this is where my sobering brain took the decision to let this one go and go home. So I literally said okay and called myself a cab - it was slightly awkward, but compared to the rest of the night it was like a James Bond move

This was an escalation window. "I'm going to bed" = "Snuggle with me and fuck me." Unless you can report body language and tone that suggests she wanted you to leave?

.. She then went into "omg ur such a nice guy" talk.

Should not have let this happen. This could be bad or just unproductive to the seduction (still bad, but not a death knell)...But, again, you haven't provided too many details


Seems like you just need to recognize windows quicker. But your disinterest in her may stem from the seduction being too easy. She did all the work and handed you sex on a pussy-platter. You valued sex with her less, then.


On a positive note, your fundamentals must at least be somewhat decent to have a girl chase you this hard. Keep it up and work on recognizing escalation windows - and, of course, decisively taking advantage of them.



May you get all of the windows,

Anatman

 

[Shadow]

Hi Anatman,

I realise this is quite a weird report so thanks a lot for the feedback! I think you are very correct on my lack of escalation window awareness. Though I did pick up the go to bed one, but honestly I was completely bored at that point as there was no "chase" or "game" and especially as I started overthinking in terms of the complications of tomorrow.. (e.g. she was obviously an emotional wreck and that can't really end well can it?)

Actually, the point you make regarding escalation windows is extremely valid in my case. My first post in the beginner section as I mentioned above - "What not to do or how to move as slow as a turtle - a lack of experience story" viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5147 - shows that in a even bigger depth. If you have a moment to read it (it is much more detailed and interesting than this one I believe) could you potentially throw a sentence or two of feedback there as well ?

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it

 

[Shadow]

Apologies for double post, but I can't edit my previous one anymore

Just wanted to pop by and say that after going through this in my head a few times the past few days and reading several of Chase's articles I realised that I should of pushed this to the end. Yes there would of been negative 'externalities' in the following days, but they would of been outweighed by the benefits from the learning experience and well, sex.

So if you are relatively inexperienced in the field and you get in a situation as the one above - don't think about it and do it - benefits will most likely outweigh the negatives.