Best approach yet... But she's taken

[Penguin]

I did an approach today at work that I can be proud of- Good repartee that really engaged her and some light chase frames. She seemed to really enjoy it and was excited/giggly. I got to try a new technique today as well- That one where another guy interrupts and you look around the room bored to put social pressure on him to leave. When I did it, his conversation was soon reduced to awkward silence and he left .

When it was time to invite her for drinks however she said "I'm kind of seeing someone". This is the second time that a girl has seemed disappointed to be telling me that she is in a relationship and can't come. It always feels very awkward for me when I ask a girl if she is single or ask her out, and she replies that she is taken. The reason is it feels like I can no longer progress the interaction as there is nowhere to move it to. And since I can't move things forward it feels like I can't keep her standing with me any longer and have to end the conversation.

I was pretty much stopped dead in my tracks again today, but made her laugh with "Well he can't come. He'll have to stay at home". She thanked me for asking her which I thought was another sign that she would have said yes otherwise. This scenario is very problematic for me at the moment, as many attractive girls are understandably already taken. I need a way to keep going after "I'm in a relationship" to get the date and phone number anyway. In my first success story I seduced a girl who was in a relationship but we were sat down at a house party rather than me stopping a girl and having a limited amount of time to think on my feet. What's the trick for this?

 

[aliparpar]

Don't beat yourself over it. I think you did great as you say yourself. There might be two reasons she said no to your question.
1- She's really in a relationship.
2-She was not interested in the first place (In her mind you were not her type) but she was enjoying the conversation or rather was kind to you.

Nothing you can do about it in my opinion so don't beat yourself over it if they are taken. There are plenty more you can get who are not taken. Just loo more and don't give up

P/S : Also, on another note, if she's really in a relationship and you really want her, I'm pretty sure Chase has an article how to get girls who have boyfriends.

 

[Penguin]

True there are more . It's just frustrating that I did a way better job with this taken one than I did with the single ones so far XD. Maybe it's because non-nightclub approaches are easier though.

I think there are four possibilities when a girl says she is taken:

1. She isn't interested and is genuinely taken
2. She isn't interested so she pretends she is taken
3. She likes you but is satisfied with her relationship
4. She prefers you to her current partner but feels morally obligated to point out that she's taken

I'm fairly certain that the one yesterday was a 3 or 4. The house party one was definitely a 4, because she reminded me of her boyfriend when we were on our date . The problem is distinguishing between 3s and 4s, especially when they seem disappointed to have to decline the date. I saw on a PUA forum a while back that some guys use 'boyfriend destroyers' like saying "Are you going to marry him?" or just asking "Is it serious?". I suppose those could keep the momentum going if she admits that it's not a serious relationship and she can in fact meet up with you. I was wondering if anyone else has anything better than this?

 

[aliparpar]

Yes there are ways to get her and kick out the boyfriend and Chase shows how on one of his blog articles but it depends on your decision if you want to go after her.

 

[Penguin]

I can do it with girls who I know I'll see again, like I did with social circle house party girl. I need a strategy specifically to get dates and numbers from a newly approached taken girl who I won't otherwise see again. I think I remember that article you're referring to- It explains which situations allow you to get a taken girl, but not what to say when a newly approached girl declines a date due to her being taken. Do you see what I mean?

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Often, simply asking "how's that going for you" can lead to interesting insights and eventually, results. Last girl I was with told me her BF was too busy playing Minecraft to pay her any attention. Right up until we fucked she said "I'll never cheat on blahblahblah". She did open me though... by barging me with her tits, lol.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

I can do it with girls who I know I'll see again, like I did with social circle house party girl. I need a strategy specifically to get dates and numbers from a newly approached taken girl who I won't otherwise see again. I think I remember that article you're referring to- It explains which situations allow you to get a taken girl, but not what to say when a newly approached girl declines a date due to her being taken. Do you see what I mean?

IMO If a girl is taken I don't think pressing for numbers/dates is the way forward; you have to capitalise on the moment and go for a same night/same day lay. Then if it all goes well they will be back in touch for more, otherwise you won't hear from them again.

 

[Penguin]

"how's that going for you"

I like that . It's an open question so it keeps the conversation going better than "Is it serious?" "Yes". Would have been nice to be able to try for the same night lay but I was at work. I too have noticed that girls can tell people thy are strongly opposed to cheating but then cheat with you the first chance they get .

 

[Garrett]

I can do it with girls who I know I'll see again, like I did with social circle house party girl. I need a strategy specifically to get dates and numbers from a newly approached taken girl who I won't otherwise see again. I think I remember that article you're referring to- It explains which situations allow you to get a taken girl, but not what to say when a newly approached girl declines a date due to her being taken. Do you see what I mean?

IMO If a girl is taken I don't think pressing for numbers/dates is the way forward; you have to capitalise on the moment and go for a same night/same day lay. Then if it all goes well they will be back in touch for more, otherwise you won't hear from them again.

Hey Penguin,

A Life Loquacious has a point. Here's what I think...

Asking her that question is good, but doesn't guarantee anything. You could ask her that and she could say "Oh things are good!" or if you are lucky she'll start bashing him. Word of advice? NEVER bash the boyfriend, she'll go on defensive mode and that'll be it.

The way I see it, because you're fairly new to this, she probably wasn't all that interested. Just because she's laughing and smiling and all of that, doesn't mean anything, those are reactions, not results. If she does stuff like touch you and lean in and have open body posture, then those are more result-oriented signs of interest.

I think that had you have been more persistent and said things like "That's between you and him, this is between us, no one is going to find out " then she may have gone along. I think you gave up a little easily, but if she was just being polite/sociable, good to avoid those girls, they take up a lot of time, and if her needs are satisfied by her boyfriend, chances are you're not going to get with her.

Anyways, kudos for trying Penguin, with more experience you should expect to hear the boyfriend line less often

All the best,
Garrett

 

[A Life Loquacious]

NEVER bash the boyfriend, she'll go on defensive mode and that'll be it.

Absolutely this. Don't unleash on him, usually she's still with him for a reason (usually because he's a good provider even if not such a great lover, or something along those lines) and if you actively say things against him, she will stick up for him instinctively and your chances are blown. But what you can do is sympathise. In the case I mentioned earlier I said something along the lines of "but 'Minecraft' of all things? Seriously!?" like it wasn't so much of a big deal he was picking games over her, but out of all the games to pick, he chose that?

 

[Eternity]

I love it when they dont mention the b.f at all until after they are with you. Im guessing when this happens you played the game right.

 

[Penguin]

Garrett, I'm fairly sure this one was interested as I could tell the difference from the other approaches I've done where they were not. It's a matter of somehow finding out which taken girls are satisfied and which ones would cheat (not that they'll ever say they would cheat of course ). You're right I gave up too soon. That's why I'm here finding out from you guys what the next step in the conversation is .

I believe it's a matter of treating "I'm kind of seeing someone" as an objection which needs to be addressed in a satisfactory way. Your "No one is going to find out" stuff could well be the solution I need .

 

[Light]

I did an approach today at work that I can be proud of- Good repartee that really engaged her and some light chase frames. She seemed to really enjoy it and was excited/giggly. I got to try a new technique today as well- That one where another guy interrupts and you look around the room bored to put social pressure on him to leave. When I did it, his conversation was soon reduced to awkward silence and he left .

When it was time to invite her for drinks however she said "I'm kind of seeing someone". This is the second time that a girl has seemed disappointed to be telling me that she is in a relationship and can't come. It always feels very awkward for me when I ask a girl if she is single or ask her out, and she replies that she is taken. The reason is it feels like I can no longer progress the interaction as there is nowhere to move it to. And since I can't move things forward it feels like I can't keep her standing with me any longer and have to end the conversation.

I was pretty much stopped dead in my tracks again today, but made her laugh with "Well he can't come. He'll have to stay at home". She thanked me for asking her which I thought was another sign that she would have said yes otherwise. This scenario is very problematic for me at the moment, as many attractive girls are understandably already taken. I need a way to keep going after "I'm in a relationship" to get the date and phone number anyway. In my first success story I seduced a girl who was in a relationship but we were sat down at a house party rather than me stopping a girl and having a limited amount of time to think on my feet. What's the trick for this?

Aah... I love these scenarios. It always bring on my "Challenge Accepted!!" mode.

I'm sure Chase has already covered this in his blogs, but the trick really is quite simple.
Be Persistent.
Reply with a witty comment like you did and make her laugh, and then followed by :
"hey, I'm not competiting for a boyfriend role. I just think you're a very cool person, and I'd like to get to know you a bit more."
(A chance for a deep dive)

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Garrett, I'm fairly sure this one was interested as I could tell the difference from the other approaches I've done where they were not. It's a matter of somehow finding out which taken girls are satisfied and which ones would cheat (not that they'll ever say they would cheat of course ). You're right I gave up too soon. That's why I'm here finding out from you guys what the next step in the conversation is .

I believe it's a matter of treating "I'm kind of seeing someone" as an objection which needs to be addressed in a satisfactory way. Your "No one is going to find out" stuff could well be the solution I need .

The "kind-of" bit is the dead giveaway here as it's basically admitting that either things are kinda in the early stages and aren't official, they're in a long-distance relationship and not happy about it, or generally that things aren't going all that swimmingly. It's certainly less assertive than "I'm seeing someone" and I would be tempted to see how far things could be taken...

 

[Penguin]

The "kind-of" bit is the dead giveaway here as it's basically admitting that either things are kinda in the early stages and aren't official, they're in a long-distance relationship and not happy about it, or generally that things aren't going all that swimmingly. It's certainly less assertive than "I'm seeing someone" and I would be tempted to see how far things could be taken...

Good point. The way I interpreted it at the time was like when a person puts "kind of" in front of bad news that they don't want to tell someone e.g. a kid saying "I kind of didn't do my homework". It's one of the several reasons why I thought she was disappointed at not having the opportunity to go on the date. Either interpretation is favourable though, so I wish I had pushed the interaction further to try and get results.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Good point. The way I interpreted it at the time was like when a person puts "kind of" in front of bad news that they don't want to tell someone e.g. a kid saying "I kind of didn't do my homework".

I suppose this is where linguistic nuance of intonation that can be lost over text communication comes into play. "I'm kinda.... seeing someone" vs "I'm kinda-seeing someone" obviously have greatly differing implications despite the words being the same.

 

[Garrett]

Good point. The way I interpreted it at the time was like when a person puts "kind of" in front of bad news that they don't want to tell someone e.g. a kid saying "I kind of didn't do my homework".

I suppose this is where linguistic nuance of intonation that can be lost over text communication comes into play. "I'm kinda.... seeing someone" vs "I'm kinda-seeing someone" obviously have greatly differing implications despite the words being the same.

I don't think the girl is going to be THAT obvious with the, "I'm kinda... seeing someone." The fact that she said "kinda" sounds like you could get her, it's just an objection and you need to be persistent. You can get girls with boyfriends and it's not that hard, provided you know what you're doing. If you know the boyfriend is a crazy/aggressive psycho who's going to give you a beating the next time you're out alone, I'd think twice about this one. As long as she knows that whatever is going on in her relationship does not involve you, the boyfriend drama shouldn't be something to overly concern yourself with

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Penguin]

You can get girls with boyfriends and it's not that hard, provided you know what you're doing.

So it turns out the 'kinda seeing someone' is an easier variant to deal with (still kicking myself ). But what if I use Ricardus' 'Are you single' opener and she says 'No I have a boyfriend'. It seems weird to continue hitting on her after that. Is it not better to leave her relationship status unmentioned so that she can decide what her status is after you've actually had a chance to sell yourself?