Diego-
In addition to what Pinot has said-
diegoC said:
1) When you say you "…notice her, you stop, look at her a little quizzically and dramatically, then move in and open…", the idea, while doing this, is that she sees me that I have stopped and looked at her… (I'm assuming that in this scenario there was no playing with elite eye contact at all. You just saw the girl and did the walk around to be at the moment of "noticing her")
Right. It's exactly the same as if you were walking along on the street and suddenly saw a confectionery you hadn't know was there (and let's assume you like confections as much as I do). You'd pause, turn your head at it, then turn the rest of your body and head right over to it. Maybe pause just a second before reaching for the door (with the girl, you'd reach out a bit, then pause, then reach further and say, "Excuse me," or go into your opener - Johnny Dep is very good at doing this "reach-pause-reach-speak" movement in the
Pirates of the Caribbean films).
diegoC said:
2) If I am at a party (loud music) should I use the same style? Just open the one girl I want to talk? I guess so.
Yes, assuming her body language is open enough that you can do so naturally (look for some part of her body - torso, a foot, etc. - pointing away from the group / her friends, indicating an openness to things and people outside the group).
diegoC said:
3) How about opening mixed groups? The same thing? I just go straight to that girl, talk to her without invading the group and, if the group stop to look at me, glance at them, say something and resume talking to her?
Right.
diegoC said:
4) This is a tricky tricky one. What about opening a girl when she is only with 1 friend (guy -asume I know they are not a couple- or girl). What can you do? If you engage her, the friend will be alone and, for social pressure, I can't imagine the girl leaving her friend. Would you approach a girl in the same way if she is alone with a guy or a girl?
Cheers!
I had a very beautiful, magnetic girlfriend I used to take a lot to nightclubs and parties, and she'd get hit on a great deal. I always paid attention to how men would open her, and how they'd deal with me, and there was one opener that consistently stood out as superior to all the others, and I adopted it myself and started using it whenever I wanted to talk to a girl who was with another man.
You walk up to the girl, and open her as normal. Talk to her for 30 seconds to a minute - long enough to excite some early interest from her and get some very early vibing on, but not so much that it's too awkward yet that you haven't said anything to the guy. Then, turn to the guy, and say, "Hey bro, I don't want to step on your toes - is this your girl?" At this point, you can gauge the guy's reaction - if you've done a good job with the girl and she clearly is into you, he's going to feel a large amount of pressure to say, "No, we're just friends," if she isn't his girl. If he tells you she is his girl, but he hesitates and seems really awkward or uncomfortable, it
may be because he just doesn't know how to handle other men hitting on his girlfriend, but more often the case is she isn't really his and he's trying to scare off the "competition." (If he gets obviously territorial, she's almost certainly his girl)
If the guy says "no," you just go back to talking to her as you would any girl.
If he says "yes," and you can tell he means it, you say, "Oh, my bad, my bad - I didn't mean to interfere. You're a lucky man! I'll let you two get back to it," and bow out, or if he seems really cool and she seems cool and you think they might actually potentially be cool people to make friends with, you can start shooting the breeze with the guy - I've met some pretty cool guys this way (by hitting on their girls, and then asking them if the girls were theirs), and much of the time if you hang out with them for a little while they'll end up buying you a drink to boot (for some reason, the kinds of guys who are both cool and like to take their girlfriends to bars and clubs also generally like to buy the guys who hit on their girlfriends in a respectful way drinks - I've always just assumed it's a game-recognizes-game kind of thing).
If he says "yes," but you get the feeling he's lying, you turn to the girl and, quietly, say, "He says he's your man - is he your man? Should I not interfere?"
The reason you add that last line is to discourage the kind of game-playing that Pinot mentions - when you say "Should I not interfere?" what you're really saying is,
"Would you rather get to know and potentially mate with me or would you rather I leave you alone to potentially mate with him?" Even if she usually enjoys playing games, the notion of a roll in the hay with her platonic going-out guy pal sends shivers down the spine of even the most chiseled party girl veterans, and unless he actually is her boyfriend you'll get an emphatic, "No, it's fine," or, "No, we're not together," or, "No - he's just a little protective."
Chase