LR Best way to start the new year!

[Motiv]

"I am sore but good sore ...you hit multiple spots this year," is the text message I received this afternoon after having had the best New Year's Eve celebration of my life to date! I had been intending to write up a field report on this girl, but as of last night, I am proud to say it has become a full-on lay.

Short version:
After three parties, two random meet-ups, one date (not all in that order), and a bucket-load of text messages all having transpired over the past three weeks, this recently former “holy man” now has a second lover, and this girl lives just down the hall in my own apartment building. I first wrote a little about her over in the Off-Topic section under the post “Nice guys get shat on...”, dealing with her efforts to beta zone me and all of your suggestions on how to deflect that (she's the one who asked me to cook her an omelet and shovel her out of snow banks before the possibility of sex). I am glad to report that I managed to steer clear away from friend/boyfriend zone and set a strong enough sexual frame that she literally begged me to fuck her last night… and round one took place over the island counter in her kitchen. =) She's also no longer interested in that omelet— I offered to make one after our second round in the morning (where I managed to make her come quite loudly, thanks to Chase's article and Mr. Rob's advice), and now she just wants the sex. Thank you GC team and all you forum busters for your help!

Note to self: carry more than two condoms next time out…!

P.S.
I promise to detail a long version of this by tomorrow. It's a current work in progress with a ton of information I am still trying to filter to keep it concise and clear enough.

-VP

 

[Mr.Rob]

Get er' Dun baby!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Nice job on steering clear of the friend-zone, VP. This legitimately surprised me

Looking forward to the longer report!

~Nick

 

[Just_Dave]

VP,

That's awesome man! Glad to hear about your success!

Dave

 

[topcat]

Hahaha! Congrats broski.

Topcat

 

[Motiv]

Greetings and thank you everyone for your support!

I am nearing completion of the long version of this LR, but in the meantime, there has been a new development. This morning around 11:30, I got a text from her, asking me on another date:

Her: So it looks like this evening would be a perfect night for a movie night at The [X] theater
Me: I'm free Did you have a particular film in mind?
Her: I kind a wanted to see American hustler but I am not sure if that's your style
Me: I'm a fan of Christian Bale– in fact the whole cast kind of intrigues me. We should watch it
Her: That makes two of us I am fan of Christian bale too

This is another first time experience for me: the first date after having sex. I was again out of my element and caught in a battle between two mindsets: since we have already slept together, do I turn off seduction mode or do I keep it on? I want her to continue to want me sexually, and she clearly wants to continue spending time with me (she paid for our two tickets)... yet somehow I feel she is back to trying to beta zone me: the moment we first met up to go to the movie, she said she doesn't take guys home on week nights… and I really didn't know what to say to that. "We'll see about that," I said with a half-smirk, but I felt lame. During the movie, I got a text from the Korean girl (who I was actually supposed to meet up with for a movie), but since I hadn't heard from her in two days (and got laid during that time) I prioritized the girl I had already slept with who was still chasing me. It just seemed awkward that she didn't want to invite me into her place afterward (it was only 8:45). In the end, I simply gave her a kiss goodnight and bid her farewell. I needed to figure this one out.

Is it normal to encounter resistance so soon again after taking a girl to bed for the first time? I probably could have seduced my way back into her place, but I was caught off balance and felt weird. Come to think of it, I think she does feel embarrassed at how quickly I took her to bed because she mentioned the morning after that she had never slept with a guy that quickly before (I'm thinking, "wow, she thinks I'm fast...?!). What does one do in this case— just keep re-seducing them as if it's the first time all over again? I do find that overcoming resistance really is the most rewarding part of seduction for me so far— even better than the sex itself, but at what point is a seduction truly completed?

-VP

 

[Chase]

Violin-

Nice job on the lay, though I hope you went in realizing what you were getting into - sleeping with a girl who lives very nearby is usually setting yourself up for either:

• A.) De facto monogamy, or
  
  B.) More drama than you can shake a bow at

This is another first time experience for me: the first date after having sex. I was again out of my element and caught in a battle between two mindsets: since we have already slept together, do I turn off seduction mode or do I keep it on?

I would normally not recommend seeing a movie with a girl until you've been sleeping with her at least 3 or 4 months or so: How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend. Starting sooner fast tracks you to committed monogamy before you even know what hit you.

I want her to continue to want me sexually, and she clearly wants to continue spending time with me (she paid for our two tickets)... yet somehow I feel she is back to trying to beta zone me: the moment we first met up to go to the movie, she said she doesn't take guys home on week nights… and I really didn't know what to say to that.

By going to the movie, you already played into her frame that you'll do boyfriend things with her prior to more sex, and prior to conversion - until you've slept with a girl on 3 separate occasions in relatively close succession, she's not "your" girl, and you're still being vetted for future sex or not - once can potentially be a mistake; thrice cannot.

Is it normal to encounter resistance so soon again after taking a girl to bed for the first time?

Yes. It's very important (for future lays you want to convert to girls you continue seeing) that even if you're going to have her as a girl you do stuff with, you do NOT do other date-like stuff with her until you've slept with her 3+ times. If you must (because she's too reserved to meet you without it... which happens occasionally), it's okay to take her on a small date, but it must be on your own terms, and you must sleep with her immediately after.

Otherwise, you can run into the situations where a girl starts thinking she's going to make you wait for it AFTER you've already had it once, and now you've got to wine her and dine her on six or seven dates and treat her like a princess before you sleep with her again.

The big choice with this one I think is whether you're sure you want this girl as a committed, monogamous relationship. Because she lives on your floor, you're going to have a pretty tough time bringing other girls over and having her not notice (or freak out / key your car / key the other girls' cars / pound on the door yelling at you and kinda ruining the vibe), and because you've started doing boyfriend stuff not followed by sex (first rule of new relationships: sleep with her every time you see her), you're setting up a boyfriend pattern - you taking it slow and letting her determine the style and speed of the courtship is going to be the norm. If this isn't what you want, you'll need to change how you're doing things with her.

Chase

 

[Motiv]

Thank you so much for your advice and support, Chase!

First off, my apologies to everyone for changing my screen name, but I think it's a better fit for my style and what has been working for me so far. Since my deepest passion in life, classical music, has proven to be an attraction liability for me (beyond mere mentioning), I have decided to focus on developing an alternate persona to work with women. This may sound cold, but I have not felt emotionally connected to the women I have seduced so far. I just target those who seem open to me and do my best to simulate smooth, powerful behavior— like a machine on a mission.

Tonight, I am proud to report that I took Ms. Serbia to bed for the third separate time and managed to up her usual single orgasm to two— or at least one very long one where moans became screams and went on longer and louder than ever before. Some key info that should have been contained within this LR ended up as part of a response in another thread, including the second lay:

I did finally take her to bed at my place again tonight (Jan. 4) but only after cooking her a full Italian diner, which I rather enjoyed anyway (first time cooking for two...). She had texted me yesterday that attraction and sex are not just physical, so I decided to take her up on the challenge and put on my romance hat to see how things would play out... ding! However, during the meal, she commented that sex was not going to happen... at first I thought, "shit not this again," but then I just smiled slyly at her and put on my best puckish half-smile, staring straight into her lips until she looked down. Then I started clearing the dishes, she started helping me, and I let my hands do the talking after that.

Sorry Chase, but I broke your movie rule again (had set up the date before reading your response), so we started watching Quantum of Solace sitting on my bed together (I have no couch and put the chairs in the closet). She had never seen a James Bond film before (why I chose it), and she was quite intrigued by his sexual conquests. I remembered your advice to sleep with her right after the date, so I got the ball rolling during the movie. We started undressing each other during the last third of the film and finished our climaxes with the movie (which I will have to actually watch some day =P). I finally realized that this girl really does have limited stamina, so my new goal is to see if I can be the one to give her a sexual awakening. It does feel good that I can wear a girl out and make her feel amazing... that has been the crux of my desire since joining GC.

I have decided that it is worth the risk to allow some boyfriend framing to occur, given that my raw sex appeal is probably not solid enough yet. As long as each evening ends in sex with her screaming, I'll take my chances for now: I think the experience is worth it.

 

[Marty]

ViolinPlayer:

Congratulations! Glad to hear about this... I was a bit slow off the mark reading this post. I already remarked about your excellent work with the Italian dinner girl... I must have gotten confused and thought I already looked at this. Anyway, this was the omelet girl. Excellent, glad you put her in her place (viz. right underneath you and panting for dear life—not watching over you as you toil with a snow-shovel)! Happy for both of you! )

I have decided that it is worth the risk to allow some boyfriend framing to occur, given that my raw sex appeal is probably not solid enough yet. As long as each evening ends in sex with her screaming, I'll take my chances for now: I think the experience is worth it.

Haha, I have to admit I have some sympathy for this, even though you're bending the rules

Since my deepest passion in life, classical music, has proven to be an attraction liability for me

Oooh, I wouldn't presume... You're the one with the direct experience of course, but—I work in the entertainment business at the moment. There's a handsome young classical violinist who regularly appears on our stage, and all the girls in the office go crazy for him. I mean, almost all the women under 40 (and even some over)—and they're quite open about some of the things they want to do to him If you Google his name, the first suggestion that comes up relates to whether he has a girlfriend: that says something about what people are searching for Quite some talent there

-Marty

 

[Motiv]

ViolinPlayer:

Congratulations! Glad to hear about this... I was a bit slow off the mark reading this post. I already remarked about your excellent work with the Italian dinner girl... I must have gotten confused and thought I already looked at this. Anyway, this was the omelet girl. Excellent, glad you put her in her place (viz. right underneath you and panting for dear life—not watching over you as you toil with a snow-shovel)! Happy for both of you! )

Thank you, Marty! I'm afraid I'm the one who created the confusion: you did read about the second lay in Nojas's thread where I commented about persisting through resistance— I just tried to consolidate things over here. Also, omelet girl is Italian dinner girl. =)

She panted and moaned nearly twice as loud and long compared to our previous two lays, but I think the final action sequence in Quantum of Solace may have had a little to do with that... The noise from all the explosions probably allowed her the freedom to let loose, so I'm not entirely sure how much of it was me or the movie. Either way, she was happy and worn out, so that made my day!

I have decided that it is worth the risk to allow some boyfriend framing to occur, given that my raw sex appeal is probably not solid enough yet. As long as each evening ends in sex with her screaming, I'll take my chances for now: I think the experience is worth it.

Haha, I have to admit I have some sympathy for this, even though you're bending the rules

This point does bring up an interesting question in my mind: where is the line between a "bad boy" and an unethical person with no conscience? When I was a "holy man", those two would have been the same to me. Now that I'm breaking so many rules I used to live by, I feel like the sky's the limit as far as what I'm willing to do to get what I want. I don't even really like this girl all that much, and I know there's absolutely no way we could be long term... but... I do like providing good feelings for her (so long as I maintain dominance) and I love pleasuring her physically. In a text about a week ago, she mentioned she was afraid she might get hurt getting involved with me, but then that was before we slept together three times. Now, we have been silent a full day since the third time, and I'm a little uncertain of protocol here: my gut tells me to let her contact first— if I reach out first, I think that might be resetting the wrong frame all over again, but I am also uncertain if I have incurred any moral responsibility with her at this point.

There's a handsome young classical violinist who regularly appears on our stage, and all the girls in the office go crazy for him. I mean, almost all the women under 40 (and even some over)—and they're quite open about some of the things they want to do to him If you Google his name, the first suggestion that comes up relates to whether he has a girlfriend: that says something about what people are searching for Quite some talent there

-Marty

What is his name?

-MP

 

[Motiv]

Just as was foretold in 8 Friends with Benefits Rules You Must Obey, Ms. Serbia "officially" terminated our FWB today. She invited me to her place this afternoon just before one of my concerts and initiated the conversation that she just can't "do this" anymore— that she isn't "the kind of girl who can just see a guy once a week and sleep together without talking for five days... even though the sex was really great". She is the kind who "dates guys and has relationships" because that's "the way she was raised" and apologized for making a "mistake". If I really am the first guy she has slept with before getting into a relationship, I think that's something to feel proud of.

We ended amicably and agreed to still be friends and continue to hang out. One the bright side, this means no drama with taking new girls to my place. The only frustrating aspect of this scenario is trying to figure out if I failed in my sexiness or whether she truly is that conservative. Since she decided to break it off so quickly (as opposed to the 3-5 month time frame), at least one those must be strongly the case.

-MP

*edit*

P.S. She invited me to her apartment again, this time after the concert (and after giving me a bag of cookies). While we talked, she kept looking me in the eye with the same coy gaze she always had before sex... am I missing an escalation window here? Should I keep running my physical escalation process like this is all an elaborate masculinity test...? (assuming I want to sleep with her, which I do)