Beware of "Novel Girl Syndrome"

[Colt Williams]

You walk into your class in college (or a bar, or a party, or a restaurant, or any location where there might be women) and you see an absolutely beautiful girl across the room.

You think to yourself, "wow, she's the most beautiful girl I've seen in a long time." Maybe you strike up a conversation with her. She makes you laugh. You make her laugh. She's cool. She's funny. You're really into her. You grab her number, and go home...thinking about her all night.

Now rewind...

Let's look at the perspective from a guy who knows your new princess. The night before she met you, she was hanging upside down in bondage chains. Two days before that, she went home crying to her bff because someone called her fat. A week before that, a guy just like you ghosted her because she wasn't smart enough to keep up with him. Not to mention the fact that he saw her without her make up...and..yeesh.

In my many years interacting with women, I have adopted a general rule.

If I see a girl I've never seen before, and then I go home and think about her: I subtract at least 35% in terms of how attractive I think she is, and 25% on how charming, cool, chill, smart, blah blah blah I think she is. Because novel girl syndrome is real. Guys, you will always think a new girl is so much more beautiful, smart, perfect than she actually is. Always. Sometimes for me, it only takes seeing a girl more than once. I'll see her again and think. "oh...she's not nearly as pretty as I remember." or "Oh...her personality is actually kind of annoying."

And trust me, I know these women. Some of them are my friends or associates. Guys will hit on them and be smitten and I'll think "Good luck my friend. She's not as wonderful as your mind is telling you."

But the mind is hardwired to trick us. Pumping our body with those romantic ideals is literally a survival mechanism. So be aware of that. And to the best of your ability, try to tamp those feelings. 95% of the time, she's not as great as you think she is. I promise. The other 5%...well

 

[Space]

This is an excellent and timely post and let me get to what I consider your main point. Your last sentence. As a beginner to mid-intermediate guy I ask intermediate to advanced guys: how about your 5% girls? Colt, as a Girls Chase writer you can maybe point me to an article in the library of unlimited Girls Chase articles about the 5% girls topic? I mean you you have almost an unlimited number articles in the Girls Chase library, you have an article about every topic, I bet you have one about 5% girls, too.

5% is exactly 5 times more than 1%. I mean you don't have to approach 100 girls, only 20. I can do it in a day and night without feeling like spam approaching or like an RSD zombie. Here's how I usually approach. Going out now.

I'm not saying I'm totally stuck. I go out like 10 hours a week, 5 hours day, 5 hours night, 20 approaches in total (that's more like an observation than a rule as I have no influence on how many "Fuck Yes" girls the universe throws in front of me today), usually one or two "very good" interactions. That means a number exchange and/or an insta-date. Oh, and I do the whole thing in one day of the week. That may not sound like a good ratio to you but to put things in context Mark Manson's "Fuck Yes" is not about you notice a girl and you immediately want to make babies with her. It's just a Fuck Yes to say "hi" to her. I'm a screener, too. So 2/3 of my interactions are more like just friendly conversations as one or both of us realize there isn't much chemistry. Sometimes I just walk out of interactions which start totally fine for reasons like I'm not on a vacation and I have to go on with my daily program, I can't wait forever. This may sound like a shocker in a big city I know. Or I simply don't force through the whole thing for the average girl I approach with not above average interactions we have let's say, as approaching is quite emotionally taxing itself. I don't miss these girls the next day though. I hope I didn't became an RSD zombie. I don't know that much of RSD to truly tell. That said, if she is a really nice girl and it's 4AM in the morning and she is the last one for the day - then it suddenly isn't that mentally taxing than if she were just my average girl. You can be attracted to different girls during the day at different levels, right? That's normal. You can't fake attraction as someone said here.

 

[Mr.Rob]

+1 Great reminder Colt

 

[Space]

I forgot to add to my previous post. 5% is an interesting number in another way, too. 5% is the number according to Alex Social who are logisitically available in the first place if you are doing day game. That's the numbers part to it.

 

[metalbird]

"Novel guy syndrome" applies to girls as well. I think that's part of the motivation behind encouraging guys to move fast with women. But unless you're just looking for a quick lay, it's better for both parties if you actually take things a little slower, imo. Give her a chance to show her true colors and avoid a lot of messy situations.

Now, we also run into the danger of taking the opposite position by saying that since any potential sexual partner will let us down eventually, there's no point in going anywhere with anyone. That's why it's important to have a firm understanding of what we want, what we require, and what we are and aren't willing to tolerate from a partner already established.

And of course, we have to negotiate the initial screening and familiarization process with natural, biological attraction timeline. However, from my experience, women are a lot more lenient with escalation windows and attraction than this site sometimes suggest. The important thing is to be honest and courageous about your intentions. Maybe that's what Chase would call "persistence".

If you make it clear that a girl has to go through your screening process (subtly, please don't actually tell a girl that) before you'll bang her, nine times out of ten that will only work in your favor.

 

[Colt Williams]

"Novel guy syndrome" applies to girls as well. I think that's part of the motivation behind encouraging guys to move fast with women. But unless you're just looking for a quick lay, it's better for both parties if you actually take things a little slower, imo. Give her a chance to show her true colors and avoid a lot of messy situations.

Now, we also run into the danger of taking the opposite position by saying that since any potential sexual partner will let us down eventually, there's no point in going anywhere with anyone. That's why it's important to have a firm understanding of what we want, what we require, and what we are and aren't willing to tolerate from a partner already established.

Metalbird, I agree One Hundred THOUSAND Percent! Novel Guy Syndrome is so real. In fact, I think I myself fell victim to that recently with a lady. She was super hot on me on the first date, I did not escalate (she was FIRM on not getting physical), but eagerly wanted to do it again. On the second date, energy fell...flat. I didn't do too much differently. Will I see her again? It's possible, but I'm not holding my breath.

That said, your point on attraction windows is also valid. If a girl really likes you, there is certainly value in letting things play out a bit and making sure it's "real." It swings both ways. If you're looking for a ONS, then that matters less and you want to escalate more. If you're looking for FWB that you can actually tolerate and enjoy and/or an exclusive situation, then more qualifying and time can help (as long as the sexual energy isn't lost)

forgot to add to my previous post. 5% is an interesting number in another way, too. 5% is the number according to Alex Social who are logisitically available in the first place if you are doing day game. That's the numbers part to it.

Space, I would read Chase's article about "Unicorn Girls." It's about getting that 5%. And any other article linked in there will likely point you in the right direction