Blind Date

[Nileking]

Hey what’s up Guys?!
I just had an experience last Friday night that I would really appreciate some feedback on, from anyone who can help. Thanks!!

So I went out with a good friend of mine last Friday and his girl and one of her friends who just got out of a relationship a few months ago. My buddy was kinda setting me up with her. Anyway, I always have trouble creating and building attraction with girls. So we went out for the night in Hollywood and I kinda got to know her. She seemed to be showing some interest throughout the night. At the end of the night we all went back to the hotel room that the girls got for the night and we stayed with them for the night. The girl I was with let me sleep in bed with her but nothing happened. I asked her if I can snuggle with her and she said yeah. So I spooned with her under the covers and kinda rubbed/felt her body a little. I wasn’t groping her in anyway though. Anyway, we fell asleep and the next morning when my buddy and I were leaving I asked her for her number, and she said… “yeah, I guess”. So I took that as a mild rejection. So I replied with… “or not, it’s cool.” At which point, everyone laughed and so did she. And I left it at that and we left. So, I don’t know what went wrong. I know I could’ve spent more time with her throughout the night and flirted more with her to build attraction and make her feel more comfortable with me. However, it seemed like she was showing some interest anyway, and I wasn’t expecting her to hesitate when I asked her for her number the next morning. Any feedback would be very helpful and appreciated to help me understand what I did wrong? Or, why she seemed to change her mind the next morning? Or, if she was not interested at all and was just being cool/nice and I just misread her completely?


Thanks!!

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Straight up, this only seems like an easy situation. It's actually fucking hard...and hard to end up fucking.

So, I don’t know what went wrong.

You got a warm intro, but according to you

I always have trouble creating and building attraction with girls

You just didn't know what to do, and you got the results you should have. It has happened to all of us

But the real problem here - is that you and most people in society think that something SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
Like if you put a boy and a girl in a room, they should naturally hook up.
If they sleep in a bed, they should naturally have sex.

That's not how how life works though.

Honestly, if things were meant to be, you'd hit it off "naturally".

For things to happen "naturally"

- She has to like you sexually/romantically immediately, or
- She has to come to like you over the course of the date

AND

- You have to like her enough to want to do the work that it takes to get her into bed
- You have to know what to do.

So it looks like there wasn't enough female to male interest at the start, it didn't develop along the way AND you did not seem to really like HER that much, nor want the sex that badly plus not knowing what to do.

That's it.

As pick up problems go, this is at least 7/8 (out of 10).

It's way easier to go to a club and get a same night hook up with a cute 5'7" Brunette than it is seduce a specific 5'7" brunette girl in a tag-a-along situation.

This kind of a young person's problem, because after a certain point, adults don't get these opportunities. (I can't remember the last time I had a "sleepover")

You needed to run some fairly good attraction game from the very start, but also increase the sexual tension from the beginning. This is one of those situations where you don't actually need a whole lot of trust/comfort and rapport because of the warm introduction.

She basically trusts you because it's a vetted double date.

So the keys here

• Creating the attraction (her desire to be around you, and interact with you genuinely, not to keep up appearances and keep the vibe of the date popping)
• Increasing the sexual tension from the second the date starts. Adding some heat with eye contact, physical touch, commands, moving her around, and depending on the vibe of the other two - some actual verbal flirting.

That was a tall order. And if you aren't used to regularly hooking up, this would have been hard to do.

WIA

 

[Nileking]

Straight up, this only seems like an easy situation. It's actually fucking hard...and hard to end up fucking.



You got a warm intro, but according to you



You just didn't know what to do, and you got the results you should have. It has happened to all of us

But the real problem here - is that you and most people in society think that something SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
Like if you put a boy and a girl in a room, they should naturally hook up.
If they sleep in a bed, they should naturally have sex.

That's not how how life works though.

Honestly, if things were meant to be, you'd hit it off "naturally".

For things to happen "naturally"

- She has to like you sexually/romantically immediately, or
- She has to come to like you over the course of the date

AND

- You have to like her enough to want to do the work that it takes to get her into bed
- You have to know what to do.

So it looks like there wasn't enough female to male interest at the start, it didn't develop along the way AND you did not seem to really like HER that much, nor want the sex that badly plus not knowing what to do.

That's it.

As pick up problems go, this is at least 7/8 (out of 10).

It's way easier to go to a club and get a same night hook up with a cute 5'7" Brunette than it is seduce a specific 5'7" brunette girl in a tag-a-along situation.

This kind of a young person's problem, because after a certain point, adults don't get these opportunities. (I can't remember the last time I had a "sleepover")

You needed to run some fairly good attraction game from the very start, but also increase the sexual tension from the beginning. This is one of those situations where you don't actually need a whole lot of trust/comfort and rapport because of the warm introduction.

She basically trusts you because it's a vetted double date.

So the keys here

• Creating the attraction (her desire to be around you, and interact with you genuinely, not to keep up appearances and keep the vibe of the date popping)
• Increasing the sexual tension from the second the date starts. Adding some heat with eye contact, physical touch, commands, moving her around, and depending on the vibe of the other two - some actual verbal flirting.

That was a tall order. And if you aren't used to regularly hooking up, this would have been hard to do.

WIA

I appreciate the feedback!! Very helpful!! You are absolutely right, I wasn’t really that into the girl. While she was decent, I didn’t really care to put in a lot of effort in trying to “work it” with her. And, so I was a little disappointed in myself the next day because it was a good setup by my buddy, a perfect opportunity to practice my game, and I feel that I should’ve sealed the deal. So, I kinda feel like I wasted a good chance to make something happen. Anyway, yeah getting shot down definitely sucks, but it doesn’t suck as bad when I can get some feedback on why things went wrong, or how I screwed up. At least that way I can learn from my mistakes, and advance my game so it’s that much better the next time I hit on a girl!!

Thanks Guys!!