LR Bombshell Blonde Japanese

[Proper]

PEOPLE
Me: 5'10" Asian Male, dressed in a metro-formal style
Her: 5'8" Japanese Female, platinum blonde hair, E-cups, dressed like a fashion model, basically a "bombshell blonde" in Asian form.

BACKGROUND
Recently, I've been pretty busy with girls, friends, work, side-projects, traveling, and haven't been able to Cold Approach as much as I'd like.

On a meta level, I realize I've firmly crossed the line into "Abundance Mentality". It's interesting because the line was fairly fuzzy for me. I probably tactically and numbers-wise crossed the line several months ago, but my mindset took awhile to catch up.

I guess the next goal is to reach "Absolute Abundance", which I don't see so much as the next level to grind for, but more as just a natural evolution if I continue doing what I'm doing. It's actually really nice to no longer feel like I'm grinding towards some faraway goal-post, and just honestly enjoying where I'm at in the journey.

THE MEET
A few weeks ago I head out in the evening to the mall. On the third floor, I catch a glimpse of a really hot girl. She's wearing a figure-hugging red dress, black boots, her hair's platinum blonde, she's showing tons of cleavage through her dress, and my eyes are just glued to her like a tractor beam.

I catch up to her, but her face is buried in her phone. Previous me would have done one of two things:
a) give up, make up an excuse for myself like "girls on phones are too distracted"
b) force myself to open her in an uncalibrated way and startle her

Anyway, new me instinctively makes a higher probability play. I stalk a few feet behind her as she traverses through the mall, seeing if a better opportunity would open itself. If one doesn't open up, then I will hail-mary and just open her, but I'm hoping an optimal window will open.

I end up stalking her down three escalators to the entrance, and see her waiting for something (probably an Uber). I go up to her, and compliment her on her stylish outfit. She doesn't hear me, and her English isn't that good (she's foreign born), and I have to repeat myself twice. I follow up with "do you work in fashion?", and do some light chit-chat. The conversation is going alright.

But right then, her phone rings and her Uber arrives, and in my mind I'm thinking "crap". Her facial expression and body language indicate a feeling of anxiety, and the experienced Cold Approacher me knows that she wants to exchange numbers.

THE CLOSE
So I smoothly take out my phone, and say "hey, want to exchange numbers? Maybe we can meet for a coffee sometime". She quickly types her number into my phone, and actually clicks call to make sure she receives it. Then she quickly says goodbye and runs off to catch her ride.

FOLLOWUP
I followup with an ice breaker "Hey ___, it was wonderful to have met". She responds fairly quickly apologizing about having to run, and saying it was nice to meet me too, along with some cute emojis. I followup with one or two text banters, then ask to meet. At first she suggests a weird Thursday afternoon coffee two weeks away. I agree to it. Then she changes plans, and switches to Saturday afternoon (better) lunch (worse).

FIRST DATE
I suggest a few spots sort of in between her place and my place. She is fairly compliant and lets me pick, so naturally I pick the place that's logistically closest to where I live. We're going to meet at a sit-down restaurant.

She arrives a few minutes early(another positive compliance sign) and texts me that she's there. She shows up in a stunning black fur coat (more compliance). We eat and chit-chat. I'm actually worried the date wouldn't go well considering the language barrier, but we don't have much trouble understanding each other. The conversation is above-average, but nothing spectacular.

BOUNCE
We ask for the check, she genuinely tries to split, but I insist on paying (I just felt like it). We walk to grab a coffee nearby, then sit down and chat some more. The seating in this second location is more ideal--we're sitting orthogonal to each other rather than across a table from each other. I use this opportunity to touch her thigh during high points in the conversation, which she accepts.

While sitting down and waiting for her to return from the rest room, I feel this sense of utter certainty that this girl will end up at my apartment today. Logistically, we're close by, she's got nothing urgent to do today, there's healthy sexual chemistry, she's showing a lot of compliance, and we're both just chill people enjoying the weekend afternoon--why wouldn't we hang out alone in my apartment? This is a very different feeling from the past, when I used to always struggle with the "pull home".

PULL
While walking around outside, it's cold, so I ask if she wants to see my place, have a tea, listen to some music. Honestly the reason doesn't matter at all, and I know she will say yes.

So we end up back at my place, we kiss and lie into each other on the couch, but go no further. After an hour or two she leaves. I don't push it, and honestly this new chill me is just enjoying my interaction with a new girl, and not "trying to win the game" like my previous interactions. So I'm honestly not at all bummed that she leaves with only a kiss.

SECOND DATE
We meet again the next weekend at another nearby restaurant. She shows up on time, in a stunning blue overcoat with a figure hugging black dress underneath. Basically the same deal. Eat, chat, laugh, touch a bit, bounce for dessert, then pull back to my place. This time, she insists that we split the bill.

ESCALATION
Back at my place, we kiss, and she receives it more hungrily this time than last week, and then I run into some LMR as I'm escalating. I use a few techniques that work well on her:
- in addition to trying to turn her on physically through touch, I also turn her on mentally. I talk about my favorite sex position, etc.
- I tease her that she "might be a 'ladyboy', how would I know?" I use this opportunity to touch her there and find out.
- Then I joke that actually I'm gay, and if she was a ladyboy, it'd be perfect
- We talk about breast implants, and I guess her cup size exactly.

It lasts probably an hour or so, before she eventually gets horny enough for us to have sex.

Sex is really good. She has a curvaceous body, long legs, she's wearing sexy black lingerie from that new popular Intimissimi store, and she has really great facial expressions and makes attractive moans that really turn me on.

AFTER SEX
I don't know what it is with me and time constraints, but it's a repeated thing where I have something coming up later in the evening, but sex happens anyway, and we finish up right before I need to leave (or literally right before my guest arrives at my door).

So we don't have much time, I kiss her goodbye, and we'll see each other again next time.

KEYS TO THE LAY
- not being intimidated to approach a bombshell blonde girl. As hot as she is, she responded in exactly the same way as any other girl throughout the entire interaction
- being calibrated and ready in Cold Approach. Randomness happens during Cold Approach all the time. There have been countless times in the past when something surprising threw me off guard and caused me to awkwardly exit the approach. The event in this LR was her Uber arriving, and her being anxious for exactly 0.65 seconds. In that moment of truth, the only thing to do was to smoothly lead and exchange numbers with her. If I had hesitated for even 0.1 seconds longer, she would have run off into the wind.
- idiosyncratic luck - the initial banter + language barrier wasn't great, literally the only things she knew about me are that I live somewhere in this city, I'm a guy, and my name. But I must have been lucky that she just really liked my look, to agree to a date with a relative stranger 2+ weeks after meeting. Or maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit, and my vibe is just super sexy now, that it shouldn't be surprising for a hot girl to want to meet me 2+ weeks later.
- not being sad that we didn't go further on the first date - as she left my place for the first time, I gave her a genuine smile, pecked her on the lips briefly, and truly acted like it was absolutely no big deal that we didn't have sex, because it wasn't. I'm not in a scarcity mentality anymore.
- not being pushy - I'm finding the best way to escalate is to just let girls escalate themselves. Not being pushy, and being genuinely interested in her and spending time with her lets her feel comfortable with me. Furthermore, not acting weird/sad when she slows down my escalation, and instead bringing up smooth sexual banter that turns her on more, is something that she's probably not used to.
- The last two points, and throughout this whole interaction really, demonstrated outcome independence on my part.

LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
No real sticking points. This was pretty textbook. She is definitely the hottest girl I've been with so far. and I can't really imagine a world where I would have met her through dating apps, and if I did, the frame would be all wrong and we wouldn't have gotten anywhere.

 

[Zoro]

This report made me realize I'm not running into enough Japanese blondes.

 

[Devilicious]

Great report brother!

She quickly types her number into my phone, and actually clicks call to make sure she receives it

Doesn't happen often but great sign when it does

So we end up back at my place, we kiss and lie into each other on the couch, but go no further. After an hour or two she leaves. I don't push it, and honestly this new chill me is just enjoying my interaction with a new girl, and not "trying to win the game" like my previous interactions. So I'm honestly not at all bummed that she leaves with only a kiss.

Was this because she was resisting and you felt fine not barging past it? Or what do you think you would have done differently. I thought this was an interesting remark.

The last two points, and throughout this whole interaction really, demonstrated outcome independence on my par

Incredible experience either way, glad for you it happened and that you've reached this level. Kudos!

Best,
-Dev

 

[Proper]

Was this because she was resisting and you felt fine not barging past it? Or what do you think you would have done differently. I thought this was an interesting remark.

There are a lot of maxims like "if you don't have sex on the first date, it will never happen", or something to that extent. I think it's generally good advice for inexperienced men, who tend to be too timid, not lead, and not take the shot.

But there are definitely also situations when the girl just isn't ready, and it doesn't matter if you're Brad Pitt (or insert whoever she thinks is the sexiest man alive), she won't have sex with you on the first date (or if she does, it will be a fairly forced affair that she will regret). For example, if she's a virgin or a near-virgin, or was brought up in an extremely conservative environment or is dealing with intense personal issues of sexual shame or is dealing with past sexual trauma.

I've had many data points on all sides of this spectrum:
- pushing too far and even regretting it myself
- pushing and having the girl shut me out--then she engages me months later saying she really liked me but I just made her too uncomfortable
- not pushing and having a girl lose sexual respect for me
- not pushing and instead empathizing, saying goodnight, and then she shows up at my door a few days later with a condom in hand
- etc.

With all the above scenarios, there most likely exists some magical combination of words/techniques that would have gotten the first-date-sex, but in many of those situations, I personally wouldn't feel good about it even if I solved the puzzle.

My overarching goal is still to have enjoyable sex with beautiful women, but I've been finding recently that sometimes taking it a tad slower makes it better for both of us. We're still talking about second date sex here, so it's not like I'm anywhere near "nice-guy-wait-for-relationship-before-sex" territory.

Though for anyone new I would still recommend erring on the side of "moving faster" with women, because you need some data points on both sides before you have enough calibration to move a tad slower without moving too slow--it's really a fine line.

 

[HoofHearted]

It's so readable. And good perspective is offered. Gotta clap for that.

I think a lot of it is the illusion of control. We are actually not in control, just doing the best we can with that fact.

At this point, I've seen every 'rule' broken and sex/outcomes occur.

The rules certainly help, they are the broadest, most general tools to navigate an uncertain and changing world.

I think it's best to kind of view them reflexively. Rather than propel you toward a goal, the typical advice is probably most suitable to stop you from making mistakes.

 

[Skills]

There are a lot of maxims like "if you don't have sex on the first date, it will never happen", or something to that extent. I think it's generally good advice for inexperienced men, who tend to be too timid, not lead, and not take the shot.

But there are definitely also situations when the girl just isn't ready, and it doesn't matter if you're Brad Pitt (or insert whoever she thinks is the sexiest man alive), she won't have sex with you on the first date (or if she does, it will be a fairly forced affair that she will regret). For example, if she's a virgin or a near-virgin, or was brought up in an extremely conservative environment or is dealing with intense personal issues of sexual shame or is dealing with past sexual trauma.

I've had many data points on all sides of this spectrum:
- pushing too far and even regretting it myself
- pushing and having the girl shut me out--then she engages me months later saying she really liked me but I just made her too uncomfortable
- not pushing and having a girl lose sexual respect for me
- not pushing and instead empathizing, saying goodnight, and then she shows up at my door a few days later with a condom in hand
- etc.

With all the above scenarios, there most likely exists some magical combination of words/techniques that would have gotten the first-date-sex, but in many of those situations, I personally wouldn't feel good about it even if I solved the puzzle.

My overarching goal is still to have enjoyable sex with beautiful women, but I've been finding recently that sometimes taking it a tad slower makes it better for both of us. We're still talking about second date sex here, so it's not like I'm anywhere near "nice-guy-wait-for-relationship-before-sex" territory.

Though for anyone new I would still recommend erring on the side of "moving faster" with women, because you need some data points on both sides before you have enough calibration to move a tad slower without moving too slow--it's really a fine line.

Hey proper very good observation i reached similar conclusion made a post on this a while back

 

[killerman]

PEOPLE
Me: 5'10" Asian Male, dressed in a metro-formal style
Her: 5'8" Japanese Female, platinum blonde hair, E-cups, dressed like a fashion model, basically a "bombshell blonde" in Asian form.

BACKGROUND
Recently, I've been pretty busy with girls, friends, work, side-projects, traveling, and haven't been able to Cold Approach as much as I'd like.

On a meta level, I realize I've firmly crossed the line into "Abundance Mentality". It's interesting because the line was fairly fuzzy for me. I probably tactically and numbers-wise crossed the line several months ago, but my mindset took awhile to catch up.

I guess the next goal is to reach "Absolute Abundance", which I don't see so much as the next level to grind for, but more as just a natural evolution if I continue doing what I'm doing. It's actually really nice to no longer feel like I'm grinding towards some faraway goal-post, and just honestly enjoying where I'm at in the journey.

THE MEET
A few weeks ago I head out in the evening to the mall. On the third floor, I catch a glimpse of a really hot girl. She's wearing a figure-hugging red dress, black boots, her hair's platinum blonde, she's showing tons of cleavage through her dress, and my eyes are just glued to her like a tractor beam.

I catch up to her, but her face is buried in her phone. Previous me would have done one of two things:
a) give up, make up an excuse for myself like "girls on phones are too distracted"
b) force myself to open her in an uncalibrated way and startle her

Anyway, new me instinctively makes a higher probability play. I stalk a few feet behind her as she traverses through the mall, seeing if a better opportunity would open itself. If one doesn't open up, then I will hail-mary and just open her, but I'm hoping an optimal window will open.

I end up stalking her down three escalators to the entrance, and see her waiting for something (probably an Uber). I go up to her, and compliment her on her stylish outfit. She doesn't hear me, and her English isn't that good (she's foreign born), and I have to repeat myself twice. I follow up with "do you work in fashion?", and do some light chit-chat. The conversation is going alright.

But right then, her phone rings and her Uber arrives, and in my mind I'm thinking "crap". Her facial expression and body language indicate a feeling of anxiety, and the experienced Cold Approacher me knows that she wants to exchange numbers.

THE CLOSE
So I smoothly take out my phone, and say "hey, want to exchange numbers? Maybe we can meet for a coffee sometime". She quickly types her number into my phone, and actually clicks call to make sure she receives it. Then she quickly says goodbye and runs off to catch her ride.

FOLLOWUP
I followup with an ice breaker "Hey ___, it was wonderful to have met". She responds fairly quickly apologizing about having to run, and saying it was nice to meet me too, along with some cute emojis. I followup with one or two text banters, then ask to meet. At first she suggests a weird Thursday afternoon coffee two weeks away. I agree to it. Then she changes plans, and switches to Saturday afternoon (better) lunch (worse).

FIRST DATE
I suggest a few spots sort of in between her place and my place. She is fairly compliant and lets me pick, so naturally I pick the place that's logistically closest to where I live. We're going to meet at a sit-down restaurant.

She arrives a few minutes early(another positive compliance sign) and texts me that she's there. She shows up in a stunning black fur coat (more compliance). We eat and chit-chat. I'm actually worried the date wouldn't go well considering the language barrier, but we don't have much trouble understanding each other. The conversation is above-average, but nothing spectacular.

BOUNCE
We ask for the check, she genuinely tries to split, but I insist on paying (I just felt like it). We walk to grab a coffee nearby, then sit down and chat some more. The seating in this second location is more ideal--we're sitting orthogonal to each other rather than across a table from each other. I use this opportunity to touch her thigh during high points in the conversation, which she accepts.

While sitting down and waiting for her to return from the rest room, I feel this sense of utter certainty that this girl will end up at my apartment today. Logistically, we're close by, she's got nothing urgent to do today, there's healthy sexual chemistry, she's showing a lot of compliance, and we're both just chill people enjoying the weekend afternoon--why wouldn't we hang out alone in my apartment? This is a very different feeling from the past, when I used to always struggle with the "pull home".

PULL
While walking around outside, it's cold, so I ask if she wants to see my place, have a tea, listen to some music. Honestly the reason doesn't matter at all, and I know she will say yes.

So we end up back at my place, we kiss and lie into each other on the couch, but go no further. After an hour or two she leaves. I don't push it, and honestly this new chill me is just enjoying my interaction with a new girl, and not "trying to win the game" like my previous interactions. So I'm honestly not at all bummed that she leaves with only a kiss.

SECOND DATE
We meet again the next weekend at another nearby restaurant. She shows up on time, in a stunning blue overcoat with a figure hugging black dress underneath. Basically the same deal. Eat, chat, laugh, touch a bit, bounce for dessert, then pull back to my place. This time, she insists that we split the bill.

ESCALATION
Back at my place, we kiss, and she receives it more hungrily this time than last week, and then I run into some LMR as I'm escalating. I use a few techniques that work well on her:
- in addition to trying to turn her on physically through touch, I also turn her on mentally. I talk about my favorite sex position, etc.
- I tease her that she "might be a 'ladyboy', how would I know?" I use this opportunity to touch her there and find out.
- Then I joke that actually I'm gay, and if she was a ladyboy, it'd be perfect
- We talk about breast implants, and I guess her cup size exactly.

It lasts probably an hour or so, before she eventually gets horny enough for us to have sex.

Sex is really good. She has a curvaceous body, long legs, she's wearing sexy black lingerie from that new popular Intimissimi store, and she has really great facial expressions and makes attractive moans that really turn me on.

AFTER SEX
I don't know what it is with me and time constraints, but it's a repeated thing where I have something coming up later in the evening, but sex happens anyway, and we finish up right before I need to leave (or literally right before my guest arrives at my door).

So we don't have much time, I kiss her goodbye, and we'll see each other again next time.

KEYS TO THE LAY
- not being intimidated to approach a bombshell blonde girl. As hot as she is, she responded in exactly the same way as any other girl throughout the entire interaction
- being calibrated and ready in Cold Approach. Randomness happens during Cold Approach all the time. There have been countless times in the past when something surprising threw me off guard and caused me to awkwardly exit the approach. The event in this LR was her Uber arriving, and her being anxious for exactly 0.65 seconds. In that moment of truth, the only thing to do was to smoothly lead and exchange numbers with her. If I had hesitated for even 0.1 seconds longer, she would have run off into the wind.
- idiosyncratic luck - the initial banter + language barrier wasn't great, literally the only things she knew about me are that I live somewhere in this city, I'm a guy, and my name. But I must have been lucky that she just really liked my look, to agree to a date with a relative stranger 2+ weeks after meeting. Or maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit, and my vibe is just super sexy now, that it shouldn't be surprising for a hot girl to want to meet me 2+ weeks later.
- not being sad that we didn't go further on the first date - as she left my place for the first time, I gave her a genuine smile, pecked her on the lips briefly, and truly acted like it was absolutely no big deal that we didn't have sex, because it wasn't. I'm not in a scarcity mentality anymore.
- not being pushy - I'm finding the best way to escalate is to just let girls escalate themselves. Not being pushy, and being genuinely interested in her and spending time with her lets her feel comfortable with me. Furthermore, not acting weird/sad when she slows down my escalation, and instead bringing up smooth sexual banter that turns her on more, is something that she's probably not used to.
- The last two points, and throughout this whole interaction really, demonstrated outcome independence on my part.

LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
No real sticking points. This was pretty textbook. She is definitely the hottest girl I've been with so far. and I can't really imagine a world where I would have met her through dating apps, and if I did, the frame would be all wrong and we wouldn't have gotten anywhere.

Good job. I remember when I bumped into a Japanese milf 8 years ago...skinny, amazing body, fake tits. Sex was amazing, she could squirt boatloads. Was a great experience, thinking i need to find another like that soon.