- Joined
- Jul 24, 2022
- Messages
- 22
Hey,
My first post here, but not first time cold approaching. Had previously been doing direct compliment approaches. Wanted to start learning situation openers since I feel its better for our time
Anyways, I was in a bookstore over the weekend in a busy downtown district. Walked around and stumbled into the "business leadership" section. I'm a business owner myself (not particular successful though), and saw a cute girl there reading a book. She had a mask on, and had a backpack, gave me the feeling she was camping there.
So I grab a book, and read it standing across from her. After 2-3 minutes, she finishes looking through her current book, and looks up. I catch her taking a glance at me from my peripheral vision (might or might not be a real IOI as she could be just scanning her environment). Doesn't matter, I decide it was go time, and turn towards her. Funnily, as I do, I notice she had picked up a different book, and it was the same one I was holding. I open with "We're reading the same book
". She smiles. Since the book she was holding was a book on entrepreneurship, I ask her if she was an entrepreneur. She says she tried twice but it didn't work out. I tell her its really difficult (as I'm sure many of you know here), and show an empathetic face.
She asks me what I do, I tell her I'm also an entrepreneur. She becomes curious and asks what my business is about, I say ladies first. We then continue to talk about it. I try to then pivot this to something more personal, by asking her how she feels about the journey so far, ups and downs, why she does what she does, etc. Basically lots of deep dives + cold reads (because I can cold read pretty well into the struggles of an entrepreneur, being one myself).
I can tell at times she was nervous and stuttering, while I was for the most part pretty calm. She also asks me questions regarding what I do, and throughout the exchange, as she asks the questions, it was quite clear I was ahead of her, as I was part of a few well known groups in the entrepreneur space. Anyways, I didn't really want the vibe to make me seem unattainable, so I continue to use self-deprecating humor and make myself more relatable.
After a while, I tell her I have to go (not on a high point), but I would love to stay connected. I asked if she was on any platform (first mistake). She told me she doesn't use any social media, except LinkedIn.
At this point, I realized I should've first asked to grab a bite or drink before going for the contact info. So I try to change the frame by saying I'd love to grab a drink with her sometime. She ignores my comment (She may also have been trying to open her LinkedIn). I open my LinkedIn app, and show her I wasn't logged in. She says "no problem, I can add you". And she opens her LinkedIn and asks me what my name is. I give her my name, and she adds me. Luckily I have a couple thousand followers, so this is not totally bad (but again, this is a business social network, so its not like an IG). She sees we have a few mutual connections, and starts asking how I know X, Y, who were in the same city. But I tell her I don't (I actually don't know how those guys got on my connections, lol).
She asks me if I was from the city, and I say her I am, but am leaving the city for about a month as I have to go to a friends wedding (this is true, I am leaving in a few days), and will be back in September.
At this point, the conversation is wrapping up, and I tell her I have to go meet my friends for dinner since it was Saturday late afternoon. She laughs and says she will be here continuing to read books on business (I think she was self conscious)
Anyways I wave her goodbye, and leave.
I accept her invite on LinkedIn a few hours later, but did not message her since it was Sat night. The next day around noon (Sunday), I send her a message saying:
"Hey, cool meeting you yesterday. Like how we're both in the no social media except LinkedIn camp". She responds the next day with: "Ayy (fire emoji), you don't even have linkedin logged in on your phone (laughing emoji)"
I feel like its quite weird to be communicating like this on LinkedIn. How can I change the frame to be more personal, and not put myself in the box of "A useful business contact" but instead a "potential date"?
My first post here, but not first time cold approaching. Had previously been doing direct compliment approaches. Wanted to start learning situation openers since I feel its better for our time
Anyways, I was in a bookstore over the weekend in a busy downtown district. Walked around and stumbled into the "business leadership" section. I'm a business owner myself (not particular successful though), and saw a cute girl there reading a book. She had a mask on, and had a backpack, gave me the feeling she was camping there.
So I grab a book, and read it standing across from her. After 2-3 minutes, she finishes looking through her current book, and looks up. I catch her taking a glance at me from my peripheral vision (might or might not be a real IOI as she could be just scanning her environment). Doesn't matter, I decide it was go time, and turn towards her. Funnily, as I do, I notice she had picked up a different book, and it was the same one I was holding. I open with "We're reading the same book
". She smiles. Since the book she was holding was a book on entrepreneurship, I ask her if she was an entrepreneur. She says she tried twice but it didn't work out. I tell her its really difficult (as I'm sure many of you know here), and show an empathetic face.She asks me what I do, I tell her I'm also an entrepreneur. She becomes curious and asks what my business is about, I say ladies first. We then continue to talk about it. I try to then pivot this to something more personal, by asking her how she feels about the journey so far, ups and downs, why she does what she does, etc. Basically lots of deep dives + cold reads (because I can cold read pretty well into the struggles of an entrepreneur, being one myself).
I can tell at times she was nervous and stuttering, while I was for the most part pretty calm. She also asks me questions regarding what I do, and throughout the exchange, as she asks the questions, it was quite clear I was ahead of her, as I was part of a few well known groups in the entrepreneur space. Anyways, I didn't really want the vibe to make me seem unattainable, so I continue to use self-deprecating humor and make myself more relatable.
After a while, I tell her I have to go (not on a high point), but I would love to stay connected. I asked if she was on any platform (first mistake). She told me she doesn't use any social media, except LinkedIn.
At this point, I realized I should've first asked to grab a bite or drink before going for the contact info. So I try to change the frame by saying I'd love to grab a drink with her sometime. She ignores my comment (She may also have been trying to open her LinkedIn). I open my LinkedIn app, and show her I wasn't logged in. She says "no problem, I can add you". And she opens her LinkedIn and asks me what my name is. I give her my name, and she adds me. Luckily I have a couple thousand followers, so this is not totally bad (but again, this is a business social network, so its not like an IG). She sees we have a few mutual connections, and starts asking how I know X, Y, who were in the same city. But I tell her I don't (I actually don't know how those guys got on my connections, lol).
She asks me if I was from the city, and I say her I am, but am leaving the city for about a month as I have to go to a friends wedding (this is true, I am leaving in a few days), and will be back in September.
At this point, the conversation is wrapping up, and I tell her I have to go meet my friends for dinner since it was Saturday late afternoon. She laughs and says she will be here continuing to read books on business (I think she was self conscious)
Anyways I wave her goodbye, and leave.
I accept her invite on LinkedIn a few hours later, but did not message her since it was Sat night. The next day around noon (Sunday), I send her a message saying:
"Hey, cool meeting you yesterday. Like how we're both in the no social media except LinkedIn camp". She responds the next day with: "Ayy (fire emoji), you don't even have linkedin logged in on your phone (laughing emoji)"
I feel like its quite weird to be communicating like this on LinkedIn. How can I change the frame to be more personal, and not put myself in the box of "A useful business contact" but instead a "potential date"?
