Boring women

[StrayDog]

I am curious about tips and techniques for dealing with women who are being kind of boring upon initial approach. My openers almost always land well with these women but the convo quickly becomes stale. They are not quite hooking and it culminates in a sort of "well nice talk" sort of vibe.

One thing I know for certain is my vibe can often be very fun and playful but even if it has an element of man to women my presence isn't a strong indication of seductive energy. Women who love to banter eat it up but a ton of women can't keep up. I know this is a fundamental I have to refine. Coming in out the gate with a less playful and more seductive vibe. This might do volumes for this sticking point. That being said, any one have some clever ways of managing this and getting more of a hook?

 

[miker]

hey stray dog
When u say hook what comes to mind is “bubble” or energy that is created between u and her
so il compare my thoughts to a bubble of energy
I’m the opposite of playful and humorous with most new women usually cuz that’s just the vibe or energy I usually feel… so this may be an interesting contrast

when u are approaching how is your eye contact ?is it focused on her or r u looking inside yourself?in other words when u r playful are u being internal and focusing on your next move or are u following her moves ie giving her abit of flow
Cuz for me I’m more external and focused on the outside for example her eyes her skin lips what her focus is etc… so I try to become more entranced in the convo and if she is feeling it I feel the bubble creating and try and stay in the moment or bubble by just staring in her eyes…whatever I’m saying or tactics aren’t as important at that point …her eyes tell me everything I need to know…it’s there or it’s not if not I move on because there’s a reason there’s no connection

When u r playful in the convo with a stale women do u have to back off abit if it’s not working??? Maybe that pops the bubble or hook you’re trying to create and that may be why the outcome is “well nice talking to u “ not feeling the energy
Maybe push pull playfulness and seduction internal external

I dono if that makes any sense or is helpful but that’s all I got

 

[StrayDog]

hey stray dog
When u say hook what comes to mind is “bubble” or energy that is created between u and her
so il compare my thoughts to a bubble of energy
I’m the opposite of playful and humorous with most new women usually cuz that’s just the vibe or energy I usually feel… so this may be an interesting contrast

when u are approaching how is your eye contact ?is it focused on her or r u looking inside yourself?in other words when u r playful are u being internal and focusing on your next move or are u following her moves ie giving her abit of flow
Cuz for me I’m more external and focused on the outside for example her eyes her skin lips what her focus is etc… so I try to become more entranced in the convo and if she is feeling it I feel the bubble creating and try and stay in the moment or bubble by just staring in her eyes…whatever I’m saying or tactics aren’t as important at that point …her eyes tell me everything I need to know…it’s there or it’s not if not I move on because there’s a reason there’s no connection

When u r playful in the convo with a stale women do u have to back off abit if it’s not working??? Maybe that pops the bubble or hook you’re trying to create and that may be why the outcome is “well nice talking to u “ not feeling the energy
Maybe push pull playfulness and seduction internal external

I dono if that makes any sense or is helpful but that’s all I got

Totally makes sense. After I posted this thread I actual went out with exactly this approach and it had solid results. I realized that I was not focused on my pressence enough. So the conversations were having a bit of an airy/flighty quality to them. I think was coming across as if I was just going through the motions like "oh this guy is super charming but he probably just does this all the time". Giving off a player vibe is common with me and women have trouble feeling that the interaction is authentic. So instead I just planted my feet on the ground, rooted a bit more in my body, slowed my pace got present and focused on her pressence more. The results were clear. The women were engaging way more, with a curious sort "well now, who is this guy" sort of energy. The key here is to practice this consistantly.

 

[Chase]

@StrayDog,

Try to cycle through topics and try to get a ping.

You're going to run into three kinds of girls when you approach, in terms of their response to you:

1. Girls who are intrigued or excited to meet you
2. Girls who are kind of neutral, but you hit on the right topic and they start to engage
3. Girls you cycle through material / topics with and nothing seems to work

As you get better, the #3 girls get rarer, but they never go away completely.

Presence is a big part of it, yeah. Having a style / presentation that is different from most guys she is meeting (so you stand out) is also helpful. Smooth approach + stand-out appearance generally = some degree of intrigue, which you can then build on with conversation/routines.

If you can learn to cycle quickly through your early conversation hooks, you can more reliably turn neutral girls into hooked girls. Like:

You: Is that Pride and Prejudice? Heavy reading!​

Her: Hmm? Oh, no! It's just blah blah blah.​

You: Oh I see. Had me fooled there. I thought you were one of those literature snobs.​

Her: Nope, nope...​

​

[she didn't laugh/engage on that one, so you cycle to something else]​

​

You: This place is kinda perfect for reading, isn't it? Good food, chill atmosphere... I feel like I could move in here.​

Her: Yeah, it's cool. [neutral tone]​

​

[she didn't bite here either, so you cycle to the next thing]​

​

You: Say, I hate to impose, but I've got to run back up and grab my hot chocolate... trouble you to watch my stuff for a few seconds?​

Her: It's okay.​

You: Cheers. [go get your order & come back] Bag didn't try to wander off, did it?​

Her: Nope, it all stayed right there.​

You: Great. Sometimes it tries to get away, you know.​

Her: Oh really? [slight laugh]​

You: Yeah, you've got to tie it to the chair, like this, the damn thing's an escape artist. It just slides onto the floor and makes a break for it.​

Her: [laughs]​

You: Finally, someone who appreciates my humor. I can already tell you have excellent taste.​

Her: Are you here to blah blah blah? [asking you questions now]​

This is usually the cycling I will attempt... a couple of comments/openers, then if none of those work a compliance gambit, and if that still doesn't work I will generally move on (possibly to return to her later if the situation permits).

Chase

 

[StrayDog]

@StrayDog,

Try to cycle through topics and try to get a ping.

You're going to run into three kinds of girls when you approach, in terms of their response to you:

1. Girls who are intrigued or excited to meet you
2. Girls who are kind of neutral, but you hit on the right topic and they start to engage
3. Girls you cycle through material / topics with and nothing seems to work

As you get better, the #3 girls get rarer, but they never go away completely.

Presence is a big part of it, yeah. Having a style / presentation that is different from most guys she is meeting (so you stand out) is also helpful. Smooth approach + stand-out appearance generally = some degree of intrigue, which you can then build on with conversation/routines.

If you can learn to cycle quickly through your early conversation hooks, you can more reliably turn neutral girls into hooked girls. Like:

You: Is that Pride and Prejudice? Heavy reading!​

Her: Hmm? Oh, no! It's just blah blah blah.​

You: Oh I see. Had me fooled there. I thought you were one of those literature snobs.​

Her: Nope, nope...​

​

[she didn't laugh/engage on that one, so you cycle to something else]​

​

You: This place is kinda perfect for reading, isn't it? Good food, chill atmosphere... I feel like I could move in here.​

Her: Yeah, it's cool. [neutral tone]​

​

[she didn't bite here either, so you cycle to the next thing]​

​

You: Say, I hate to impose, but I've got to run back up and grab my hot chocolate... trouble you to watch my stuff for a few seconds?​

Her: It's okay.​

You: Cheers. [go get your order & come back] Bag didn't try to wander off, did it?​

Her: Nope, it all stayed right there.​

You: Great. Sometimes it tries to get away, you know.​

Her: Oh really? [slight laugh]​

You: Yeah, you've got to tie it to the chair, like this, the damn thing's an escape artist. It just slides onto the floor and makes a break for it.​

Her: [laughs]​

You: Finally, someone who appreciates my humor. I can already tell you have excellent taste.​

Her: Are you here to blah blah blah? [asking you questions now]​

This is usually the cycling I will attempt... a couple of comments/openers, then if none of those work a compliance gambit, and if that still doesn't work I will generally move on (possibly to return to her later if the situation permits).

Chase

Love this move of leaving your things with her. Definitely going to use that one.

In general I have solid engaged approaches that end in number closes, or sometimes instant dates. Ive just been banging my head on the third type of girl here and wanting to trouble shoot. I think more presence, sticking with it, and finding clever ways to gain compliance should do the trick. Thanks