Breaking free completely from Religious (re: crooked) ideals

[watson]

Hello all, this would be my first post. I'll give some background information on me since I've started perusing this site, which would be about a year ago from this time (I'm 21 now). I had spotty success with women BC (Before Chase haha), moments of greatness here and there, but nothing close to true feelings of having control and complete influence over my love life. I was victim mentality personified when it came to women. After putting what this site had to offer into practice, I lost my virginity (18 times over with quite high value women), and fast forward to now, I'm very much in love with and in a committed relationship with an absolutely stunning women who is everything I'm looking for (and I'm very picky), and even had her virginity all to myself

I'm very happy, however as the post title suggests, I'm having trouble breaking away completely from the artificial guilt that the extremely strict religion I grew up in has imposed on me from birth regarding sex (namely, you guessed it, premarital sex). Obviously, I don't believe in that religion anymore (and honestly have a huge problem with much of organized religion, and the western concept of god itself), and I'm well aware of the logicality of natural human sexuality (it's normalcy and necessity) and the desires of the religious lot throughout history to control sex using this as a means. I have trouble escaping completely the influence of this religion, as my parents are still practicing, and I'm very close to them. My girlfriend's parents are religious as well, and although she's liberated from this train of thought, she's close to her parents as well and I can imagine she's feeling the same thing as I am. So it's not like running away from the influence is an option. Also good to mention, I have an extremely over analytic personality and will ruminate on things I logically overcame long ago, and my girlfriend is the same way. I know I can't be alone in this, and am just wondering other people's thoughts and processes to overcoming.

Also a personal thank you to Chase. You're doing good work here, my man.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Breaking free completely from Religious (re: crooked) id

watson,

I'm very happy, however as the post title suggests, I'm having trouble breaking away completely from the artificial guilt that the extremely strict religion I grew up in has imposed on me from birth regarding sex (namely, you guessed it, premarital sex). Obviously, I don't believe in that religion anymore (and honestly have a huge problem with much of organized religion, and the western concept of god itself), and I'm well aware of the logicality of natural human sexuality (it's normalcy and necessity) and the desires of the religious lot throughout history to control sex using this as a means. I have trouble escaping completely the influence of this religion, as my parents are still practicing, and I'm very close to them. My girlfriend's parents are religious as well, and although she's liberated from this train of thought, she's close to her parents as well and I can imagine she's feeling the same thing as I am. So it's not like running away from the influence is an option. Also good to mention, I have an extremely over analytic personality and will ruminate on things I logically overcame long ago, and my girlfriend is the same way. I know I can't be alone in this, and am just wondering other people's thoughts and processes to overcoming.

i don't want to say that you should be distant with your parents and have some distinction, but one day you have to face the music. It's either their lifes or yours. But then, the highlight of all of this, is that you need to know you making the decision. and should you start pulling yourself gradually away from a lifestyle you always practice, and now, you don't.

Then again, respect your parents, but draw the line. It wasn't smooth at the beginning when my parents don't see me practicing religion that much as i used to, when i am around them. But people need time. some may not be forgiving, just don't drown in other's drama because of they wanting their decision and using drama to blind you.

Zac

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Re: Breaking free completely from Religious (re: crooked) id

Hello all, this would be my first post. I'll give some background information on me since I've started perusing this site, which would be about a year ago from this time (I'm 21 now). I had spotty success with women BC (Before Chase haha), moments of greatness here and there, but nothing close to true feelings of having control and complete influence over my love life. I was victim mentality personified when it came to women. After putting what this site had to offer into practice, I lost my virginity (18 times over with quite high value women), and fast forward to now, I'm very much in love with and in a committed relationship with an absolutely stunning women who is everything I'm looking for (and I'm very picky), and even had her virginity all to myself

I'm very happy, however as the post title suggests, I'm having trouble breaking away completely from the artificial guilt that the extremely strict religion I grew up in has imposed on me from birth regarding sex (namely, you guessed it, premarital sex). Obviously, I don't believe in that religion anymore (and honestly have a huge problem with much of organized religion, and the western concept of god itself), and I'm well aware of the logicality of natural human sexuality (it's normalcy and necessity) and the desires of the religious lot throughout history to control sex using this as a means. I have trouble escaping completely the influence of this religion, as my parents are still practicing, and I'm very close to them. My girlfriend's parents are religious as well, and although she's liberated from this train of thought, she's close to her parents as well and I can imagine she's feeling the same thing as I am. So it's not like running away from the influence is an option. Also good to mention, I have an extremely over analytic personality and will ruminate on things I logically overcame long ago, and my girlfriend is the same way. I know I can't be alone in this, and am just wondering other people's thoughts and processes to overcoming.

Also a personal thank you to Chase. You're doing good work here, my man.

Hey man, I've been there. I can't say that I've seen the same success that you have, but I can relate to the guilt that goes along with a strict religious upbringing. My advice has less to do with your parents and more to do with yourself. You really have to get inside your mind and dig around for anything related to that guilt. Once you've found the source of it, analyze the crap out of it. Ask yourself why you feel guilty about having sex. Ask yourself if that actually makes sense or not. Does having sex hurt you, your partner, or those around you, for instance? Keep stripping away layer after layer until you get to the core of the matter. Once you've done that, your hesitation and guilt should be long gone, and any time those feelings pop back up, they won't be able stand against the logical work that you've already done. Once you've worked that out for yourself, you can help your girlfriend through the same process. Just my two cents.