FR+ Brief Pickup, and then Date

[AsianPersuasion]

The episode with mall security made me a lot more cautious about my surroundings when I try something, and I tried changing my approach a bit. I tried grounding my energy and approaching with a low energy, relaxed vibe to see what would happen, but it's too early to tell what fruits that might bare.

I was with my mom the whole time grocery shopping and buying clothes at Savers too, so I was doing this at an incredibly awkward angle.

Girl #1: This was a girl I saw on multiple occasions in Sam's Club because both our moms were buying eggs. I debated on approaching her because she was in sweats and a t-shirt. This makes it difficult for her to see my compliment as genuine, and it puts her in a less open mood. (In hindsight, I probably could have used a situational opener, but it didn't occur to me at the time.)

I was perfectly fine trying something around her mom, but not mine, so I tried just eye contact flirting, which she didn't respond to. At the very end, we ended up in the same checkout line, but since my mom was there, I couldn't say anything. I tried eye contact flirting again, which once again was either ignored or unnoticed. We checked out and headed out the door, and it looked like I would have just left disappointed that I didn't have a good angle to approach with my mom around. Suddenly, my mom went back in to complain about something on the receipt, and I saw my opportunity walk by to get checked out soon after. Since they were leaving, and I didn't know how much time I had, I pulled the trigger fast.

Me: "I wanted to get away from my mom to say this, but I thought you were super cute, and I wanted to come say hi! I'm AP!"
Her: "Oh, thanks! Um... hi, I'm (name)."
Me : *to the mom* "Hi! Are you her....?"
Mom: "Haha, yes I'm her mother!"
Me: "I didn't mean to be rude, I just think your daughter is really attractive! *back to her* Can I have your number?"
They mumbled something, but it was too loud to hear them. All I heard was the mom telling the daughter to "say thank you." I went back inside with no number. Not the smoothest pickup from the best angle, but I would have been mad at myself if I didn't try something.

Girl #2: My mom and I went to savers, and I spotted a girl near the fitting rooms. As soon as I got out of sight from my mom, I went up to her.

Me: "I didn't want to be one of those guys that just stared at you from a distance and didn't come tell you how great you look. I'm AP, you look super cute!"
Her: "Oh thank you!" (Her mom then came out of the fitting room after hearing my voice.)
Me: "So what are you doing here? You know, besides breaking men's hearts?"
Her: "Oh, just shopping... For clothes.. Haha!"
Me: "What'd you get? Sometimes you can tell what a person is like by the clothes they wear... Though that's not always true."
Her: "Yeah, I just kinda wear whatever! Haha!" (Her mom then came out of the fitting room.)
Me: *to the mother* "Hi! Are you her... mother?"
Mom: "Yes I am!"
Me: "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just thought your daughter was cute and wanted to come say hello!"
Mom: "No you're fine!"
Me: "So tell me about yourself then... What do you like?" (Ambiguous question recommended by James Marshall)
Her: "Um... Well, I'm a musical person!" (She probably misheard me and thought I asked what was she like)
Me: "Oh, really? How so?"
Her: "I play the clarinet, the oboe, piano, and guitar!"
Me: "Really? Awesome! I play the last two! So how'd you get into them?"
Her: "Band." (Her sister then came out of the fitting room and her mom and her complimented the dress. She then went in.) "Well, nice meeting you!"
Me: "Um... Okay? Nice meeting you too. *turning to mom* Bye!"

Girl #3: This one was also walking with her mom. I hesitated to open her because I was afraid the other girl might see me and feel insulted.. I didn't want to be reported again. But I decided to do it anyway and turn my back to the fitting rooms to hopefully not get recognized.

Me: "I didn't want to be one of those guys that just let you walk out without saying hello and telling you how great you looked. I'm AP! You look gorgeous!"
Her: "Um.. Thank you!"
Me: *to mom* "Are you her mother?"
Mom: "Yes!"

They walked to the checkout line, and I followed facing them and walking backwards. To my misfortune, my mom was the one in line ahead of us, so I had to be discreet.

Me: "So how old are you?"
Mom: "Haha, too young!"
Her: "Thirteen."
Me: "Oh... sorry... Haha!"

And that was basically the end of that interaction

The Date: This was an Asian girl who went to middle school with me back before I began to improve my fundamentals and the way I interacted with people. We scheduled a coffee meet up on facebook, but it was only after I said the line "It's a date that she knew it was a date. I made the mistake once of not being clear about that, so I sent it for screening purposes.

She continually commented that I had changed so much, and commented on my looks a lot, but her responses were so much more conservative than the caucasian and latina girls I had previously gone on dates with, so I couldn't find opportunities for chase framing, nor did my flirty sexual banter get me anywhere. I tried deep diving a number of times, but she was unwilling to give me nitty gritty details that I could use to further expand our threads.

The topics ranged from how she acts around family, how she is when she's drunk, how she deals with drama, and that kind of stuff that usually expand very easily, but didn't this time around. I ended up giving my usual doctor monologue and talked about how I was an impulsive art type and that life was too short to not find enjoyment whenever possible.

I also told her that my ideal girlfriend was nothing else any other guy wanted. She would help make me become a stronger version of myself. She'd be able to replace me twice as fast as I could replace her, and instead of looking for a girl that wouldn't cheat on me, I was looking for one that I knew would cheat on me if I wasn't doing my job right, so that I'd be forced to improve and stay on my toes.

The majority of the time, I led the conversation to sexual topics. I commented in the middle that I wasn't about to talk about something mundane and that only these conversations are ever memorable. In the beginning, I had us race to hit the top of the roof of the car and make the loser make a sex noise.

Her: "I don't know! ...Haha, I can't make one!"
Me: "Wow, someone must not be doing his job right then. What kind of guys have YOU been with???"

This led to me commenting every time I had the chance that all the guys she'd been with weren't doing their jobs. When she talked about playing football, volleyball, and basketball, I commented on how much she seemed to like playing with balls. I found out by staying on the topic of sex though, that she's only had one partner, and was planning on being abstinent from that point on. She doesn't believe in birth control and is afraid condoms won't work.

I found opportunities to kiss her cheek, tickle her, hold her hand, hold her waist, kiss her neck, and let her sit on my lap. At some point, she was sitting on me, and we were watching the sunset.

Me: "You know, this really seems like it could be a movie scene."
Her: "Really? Haha... I guess so..."
Me: "Let's make a kissing scene then." (In previous days, I would have just kissed her. This time, I was afraid to make her feel trapped and asked in this manner instead. Not my best idea.)
Her: "Haha, no!"
Me: "Fine. Then let's make a scene where we hug and almost kiss, but not quite."
Her: "No.. I'm fine... haha"

We stayed there with her sitting on me for a good while, just talking. At the end, I drove her home without kissing her on the lips, but continuing to talk towards the end. At some point, I asked her to sing for me as an alternative to kissing. She was so nervous that I offered to sing for her in exchange. After we sang for each other, I walked her in, and she finally agreed to let me show her how to almost kiss, but not quite.

I brushed her hair aside, had our foreheads touch, and leaned in slowly. She pulled away, so I kissed her hand and told her goodnight. She stayed outside until I left and told me one final time how great she thought I looked.

---

So I think next time I need to do a better job at screening the more conservative girls. Also, I'll try low energy pickup again considering three approaches isn't enough to learn from it

 

[Captain CornontheCob]

Hey once again AsPErsuasion,
Great thing that you are comfortable with all the kino on the date, sounds like you made quite an impression on her. From the interaction it sounds like she is considering her options with you.

On the approaches with the mom and daughter, these have to be some of the hardest pickups until someone like Chase comes up with a technique. I have done a few and I have only had one successful pickup from it. Reason for the success was that I was able to separate the daughter from the mother long enough to get a date. When you approach mom/daughter duo I would suggest not breaking circle with the daughter and acknowledge the mom, if you seem swell enough and the daughter clearly is shown to having a liking for you from her bodylanguage she will not interfere. If you bring her in the interaction though it might cause her to potentially screw up whatever your going for.

Also, it is always good to have sex with a girl before you meet either one of her parents, {especially the young ones), reason being is because if the parents approve of you it might cause the girl to start to lose attraction towards you , in case of the opposite(her parents despising you) she will have more attraction because you are deemed forbidden.

Her: "I play the clarinet, the oboe, piano, and guitar!"
Me: "Really? Awesome! I play the last two! So how'd you get into them?"

When a girl tells you something about herself do not ever do a phrase that is or is close to a "me too!", it can come across as you trying to relate to her in a clumsy way, also the more you reveal about yourself the less mysterious you seem, when a girl tells something about herself then she later finds out you do the samething without you telling her, it makes her start to ruminate about you, there is more to you than meets the eye, and the more she thinks about you in a positive way the more she falls for you.

On the date, excellent kino, one thing though you should not tell a girl you will kiss her, there are situations where you can whisper sexual things into her ears and she will accept(the girl thinks your sexy, but she also thinks she is superior to you), also with the progress you are making you will not want to kiss girls until you get them to the place you will have sex with her cause you can get her to peak then crash back down into reality or it can ruin the intrigue( she thinks she has you).

though sometimes in some situations a quick kiss can help a lot, like say you two are walking and she is complaining incessantly about something which harms your interaction all the sudden you turn her head towards you and kiss her, then move back into normal conversation like nothing happened, she will perk right up

Anyway great stuff, you are going far my friend.

Nick

 

[HalfGuard]

It's nice to see that the security incident didn't stoped you from improve and approach more girls , I know how awkward it can be to interact with a girl when your parents are around , I have missed some opportunities because of it.
Keep up the good work

 

[Smurf]

Nice, AP! I actually did a mom and two daughter approach yesterday, but they seemed awkward haha! Nice balls though, man! I think your Double A is just about gone!

As for the date, I think Chase made an article about shy girls, I'll try and find it after I write this. As Nick said, nice Kino! And if I'm correct, you're trying to escalate in the car? So if you were kissing on top of the car, I think that's appropriate. Don't trust whatever I say though, trust someone with a little more credentials than I have.

Anyways, even if the date didn't end perfectly, it's still a good experience to learn from! You can definitely analyze it and make adjustments. Good job, man!

Jake.

 

[Captain CornontheCob]

Ahh, yea I skimmed over that part too quick, did the chick come over with you in the car AsianPer? If not, then it is great to kiss her outside the car and makeout, then when she is primed, open the door, bring her in, let the fun begin. Cause then she won't be as likely to refuse to be in the backseat with you, at least in my experience.

Peace

 

[AsianPersuasion]

That was my original plan for quite some time actually. I was afraid to follow it again after a date went awry, but I might come back to it since it seemed a lot more successful than this model.

Do you make out outside the car for a good while before bringing her in?

 

[PinotNoir]

Me: "So what are you doing here? You know, besides breaking men's hearts?"

Haha, nice, I'm glad you tried this. It's a shame she didn't respond anything back though. Did her face say anything?

Great job on the approaches and date. I think you did a good job on the touching. For new guys (like myself) and shy girls, I can tell you right now that touching is so important, from beginning to end! For more experienced guys, it probably hurts them more though than helps (you never see James Bond touching a girl until they're in a seduction zone). Touch them on the lower back to lead them; hold her hand to look at her fingernail polish if she put some on; touch her necklace and examine it; and sometimes I will wear a necklace just so that I can get the girl pulling towards me to examine it and then kiss her when she doesn't expect it.

I think you definitely could have kissed her. I've pretty much given up on the romantic kiss with the first kiss on dates! (https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-kiss-girl-no-ones-ever-kissed-her). The spontaneous kiss is the way to go, and I say this with actual, personal experience. Also, I know that you were trying to make her not feel "trapped," but avoid asking or mentioning it. I think you did it pretty smoothly though, not as bad as directly asking. Talk about something, be close to her, and then BAM, kiss her on the lips. Say, "Your lips are softer than expected" or something and immediately start talking about the previous subject. After that, go in for some more spontaneous kisses or the romantic kiss -- no problem.

As far as girls feeling trapped, I have to re-iterate what Franco said on your thread about that. You lock eyes with her; you just don't push yourself towards her so often. Sometimes, I like to make my voice a little quieter, so then she leans in. When you talk fast and loud with full of energy and keep moving your face and body towards her, then she feels too much aggression. Slow movements and slow, deep bedroom voice with killer eye contact. Then when you do get a little closer and spontaneously kiss her, pull away. She won't feel trapped, trust me -- even if you had to try and persist a few times. Also, do a couple of things throughout the night to get her to move towards you. "Let me see that necklace... I can't see it well... can you come closer?" This makes her feel more in control and that she is choosing to be closer. Also, never look at your hand as you touch and never comment on the fact that you're touching her ("never" is used loosely). https://www.girlschase.com/content/7-ways-touch-girl-3-ways-have-her-touch-you

Lastly, read some of Chase's articles on making women feel horny through actions, not words. I fell into this trap a lot, and still do sometimes, and I can see you doing the same thing. Now, don't get me wrong, your chase framing and sexual framing is really great here... But, a lot of it feels like you're trying to get her horny -- and through words. https://www.girlschase.com/content/sexual-tension-7-ways-make-women-excited-and-randy

I'm looking forward to the next date with this one!

 

[AsianPersuasion]

I think the girl looked down and laughed. Normally their face tells me all sorts of good things, but I'll need more field time to see what actually leads to good things.

I think from now on I'll just spontaneously kiss like I used to and then just own up to whatever she may do next. Maybe if I'm too bold, I'll look like a dick, but at least I won't look like a pussy.

The last girl I went on the date with didn't look me in the eyes almost the whole date. She was ten times more shy and reserved than I've ever experienced, so none of my fundamentals with eye contact, facial expressions, and non-verbals helped me out at all. I've literally never ever went on a date with a girl that shy before.

After that one, I honestly can't wait to go on the next date... My non-verbals are the strongest thing that I've got, but if I ever go out with a girl that's too shy to even look at me again, they don't mean a thing. I don't mean to be self-racist, but I don't think I'll be going out on a date with an another Asian girl for a good while.