Buyers Remorse? She regrets hooking up so soon.

[Estate]

Hey guys,

So I posted a report at the weekend.
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=906
Long story short, I had a "1st date" with a girl and ended up spending the night with her. She followed up the few days after and wanted to get together again, her words were "What did you do to me, I can't stop thinking about it!"

So what I'm asking about now, I've heard called "buyers remorse"?
Basically she's begun to back off a little. She said in a text she had a great time but feels "a little bad about her behaviour, it happened too fast".

So...... How to deal with this? I feel like making a huge issue of it is only going to make her regret it more, but if I don't address it I can't really diffuse whatever worries she has.
Basically she feels bad we hooked up right away.

What do you guys think, next steps? Is this a normal thing? (I'm guessing it is).

Thanks!
E.

 

[Estate]

I should probably mention...

I read Chase's post on this and I'm pretty sure I covered the first 4 of the 5 tips to make her feel at ease about it.
The only one I didn't (getting breakfast) was just down to her having to go meet her sis early the next morning so I drove her back, gave her a hug and kissed her, then followed up a little later which she was really happy about judging by the fact she contacted me the next day saying "Hey handsome.... <wanting to come over again>"

I think the fact that it's settled in a few days later, she's feeling bad now unfortunately. She said today in a text she felt a little bad about her behaviour and that things went too fast.
Did my best to difuse that, think I recovered a little, we might be meeting again but there was no definites.

I'll leave it for a few days and see if there's any point following up again. Leaving her stew for a few days could send her in either direction.

 

[Garrett]

Estate,

The reason why she's acting like this is in fact buyer's remorse. You moved fast and slept with her, which is great. The problem is, despite the fact that you claim to have done 4/5 things Chase suggested to do, you may have pushed for the 'hard sell' too fast without making her feel good and taking care of her emotions first. It is possible to move too fast, and that will happen if you logically outdo her. You need to be taking care of her emotions too because once you get her to do something, like have sex, you may have gotten her to do it because she logically followed your lead/the path of least resistance. If you had sex with her, then held her and remained the same guy from before, she would have felt better. Now she's feeling regret for sleeping with you because her emotions weren't taken care of properly. Next time, whenever you get the girl to comply, make sure you deep dive, be attentive, warm, and listen to her after you get her to do something, that way she'll go home swarmed with positive emotions for you

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Chase]

Estate-

Yes - that's buyer's remorse.

Even if you do things correctly, sometimes you don't do them enough for the girl's own satisfaction... i.e., if she really likes you a great deal and thought the two of you'd be all over each other right away, this can be the case; or, if she's used to things progressing more traditionally, it's this way too.

The text she sent you is a very strong text, telling you you've really affected her. If your message wasn't very warm or very inviting in reply to her, she'll start to doubt and second guess herself. She also may have been hoping to see you again right away... only to be disappointed when it didn't happen. Sounds like her buyer's remorse didn't set in until after she sent that text.

It's usually good form to see a girl soon after the first night you spend together, to cement the bond. Even if it's to be a casual relationship, seeing her anywhere from the next day to a couple of days later can still be good, depending on how excited about you she is. Typically, a week is the longest you want to wait for this.

Then, when you see her, just be nice, warm, and take her to bed again and give her an amazing night she won't be able to stop thinking about again.

Chase