Can anybody help with this texting thing?

[PrettyDecent]

When I was using texting as a means to meetup with girls for dates a few months back, I didn't have too much luck. The interactions would feel great, and then chicks would just stop answering texts. I wanted to get your guys' opinion on how I should change my texting. Here are a few examples:

Girl 1: Jess -

Her 11:28 - This is my number x Jess
Me 11:37 - Saved. Glad you ran into me earlier today
Her 11:41 - Yeh me too we Gould grap a coffee or drink before you go (This was before I was leaving out of the country)
Her 11:44 - Should*
Me 11:45 - I like your thinking what's your schedule like this week?
Her 12:23 - Thursday I'm free after Uni? Which is at like 330
Me 12:58 - Rock on...say, sail and anchor on south tce at 4?
Her 1:00 - Yeh sure just remind me in a few days so busy ATM
Me 1:22 - Lol, np, I'll send ya something on Thursday, Jess.
Her 1:23 - Haha just don't want to go forgetting the good parts of my week ahah xx

(3 days later)
Me 12:26 - 4 pm @ sail and anchor
Her 1:38 - So sorry babe gonna have to reschedule free all day tomoz but boss has me on a. 5 pm shift tday she just texted me free tomorrow ??
Me 2:01 - No worries Jess, but I can't do tomorrow. What's your schedule like over next week?

That was the end of that. I think I was asking for too much investment with the last text, but would like to get y'all's thoughts on it.

Girl 2: Renae -

Me 12:24 - Hey Renae, it's Nick...save my number.
Her 12:24 - Yes, all saved

(1 day later)
Me 2:26 - Hope you aren't vandalizing any mailboxes . Let's grab some food soon, what's your sched like next week?
Her 4:18 - nope, not at all! That sounds good. I'm not to busy next week, and my breaks are all around 11.30
Me 4:55 - Rock on, meet me at the Subway near high street...say Monday at 11:30?

That was the end of this one. Not sure what the deal is here. Maybe I was too gamey with the text on the second day?

Chick 3: Sara - was trying a new tactic here

Me 3:22 - Hey its Nick...save my number (sent during our in person conversation)
Me 5:34 - Cool to meet you - Nick (sent as an icebreaker after the convo)
Her 11:54 - Nice to meet you too

(2 days later)
Me 11:25 - Hope that Thursday was killer, Sara! I ended up visiting a party scene yesterday...Aussies here are nuts lol. Let's grab that lunch we talked about sometime this week, when's good for you schedule-wise?

End of this. Perhaps the message 2 days later was too long?

All feedback appreciated, and I can give more info if needed.

 

[Franco]

Hey PD,

It looks like your texting here isn't too bad, although I can give my twist on how I would have tweaked each one. Sometimes the small things can make a difference (which is kind of annoying, but that's just the whole psychology of it, unfortunately).

--- Girl 1 ---

Me 11:45 - I like your thinking what's your schedule like this week?
Her 12:23 - Thursday I'm free after Uni? Which is at like 330
Me 12:58 - Rock on...say, sail and anchor on south tce at 4?

So one thing I generally don't do these days is tell the girl the place in the initial text. I just choose a time. The more you put on the table at the beginning, the more she has to agree to early on. Instead, think of it as a "yes ladder" and get her to agree to an initial part of it, then when you send her a text later in the week, you can give her the place. Since she's already agreed to the time, she'll be more likely to agree to the place. So it could look more like this:

Me 11:45 - I like your thinking what's your schedule like this week?
Her 12:23 - Thursday I'm free after Uni? Which is at like 330
Me 12:58 - Rock on... how does 4 pm sound then?

As far as this:

Her 1:00 - Yeh sure just remind me in a few days so busy ATM
Me 1:22 - Lol, np, I'll send ya something on Thursday, Jess.

Don't let girls know when you're going to send them your next text. A better reply to this would have just been: "Sounds good " Then just send her the text on Thursday as you planned.

Her 1:38 - So sorry babe gonna have to reschedule free all day tomoz but boss has me on a. 5 pm shift tday she just texted me free tomorrow ??
Me 2:01 - No worries Jess, but I can't do tomorrow. What's your schedule like over next week?

This might not have made a difference, but I would have given her a short reason for why you can't make it (if you actually couldn't make it). If you were able to make it, then I probably would have just accepted since she was letting you know that the change was out of her control, but she still seemed like she wanted to see you.

--- Girl 2 ---

(1 day later)
Me 2:26 - Hope you aren't vandalizing any mailboxes . Let's grab some food soon, what's your sched like next week?
Her 4:18 - nope, not at all! That sounds good. I'm not to busy next week, and my breaks are all around 11.30
Me 4:55 - Rock on, meet me at the Subway near high street...say Monday at 11:30?

Same thing here as the last one. Just give a day and time and then give the location in your follow-up text if she agrees. Also, I would re-phrase the last part so that it sounds like you are giving her a bit more choice in the matter. Like this:

Her 4:18 - nope, not at all! That sounds good. I'm not to busy next week, and my breaks are all around 11.30
Me 4:55 - Rock on! How does Monday at 11:30 sound?

I like to use emoticons also. It gives off a warm vibe and makes her feel more "at ease" about texting back. If you're not used to using them, it may feel a bit corny to you, but once you find that you're having more success with girls texting you back, I guarantee you won't care.

--- Girl 3 ---

Me 3:22 - Hey its Nick...save my number (sent during our in person conversation)
Me 5:34 - Cool to meet you - Nick (sent as an icebreaker after the convo)
Her 11:54 - Nice to meet you too

The above is fine. I've done that several times.

Me 11:25 - Hope that Thursday was killer, Sara! I ended up visiting a party scene yesterday...Aussies here are nuts lol. Let's grab that lunch we talked about sometime this week, when's good for you schedule-wise?

End of this. Perhaps the message 2 days later was too long?

Yep. That was quite a mouthful for a cold text on a different day that she wasn't expecting. It's always best to open up short and sweet to get her to text back, then you can move into asking her on the date.

i.e.

Me: How was the rest of your Thursday night, Sara?
Her: It was great! What about yours?
Me: Awesome! Ended up at a party by the end of the day... Aussies here are nuts, lol. We should grab that lunch! What's your schedule like this week?

Always make the first text easy for her to respond to. =)

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[PrettyDecent]

Franco,

So one thing I generally don't do these days is tell the girl the place in the initial text. I just choose a time. The more you put on the table at the beginning, the more she has to agree to early on. Instead, think of it as a "yes ladder" and get her to agree to an initial part of it, then when you send her a text later in the week, you can give her the place. Since she's already agreed to the time, she'll be more likely to agree to the place. So it could look more like this:

Me 11:45 - I like your thinking what's your schedule like this week?
Her 12:23 - Thursday I'm free after Uni? Which is at like 330
Me 12:58 - Rock on... how does 4 pm sound then?

You know, that makes perfect sense. I was having this gut feeling like I was chasing during interactions instead of leading. And using a "yes ladder" to curve the amount of investment seems to be just the trick. Nice.

Don't let girls know when you're going to send them your next text. A better reply to this would have just been: "Sounds good " Then just send her the text on Thursday as you planned.

I see. Will be noted. Especially since I was going to do that anyway.

This might not have made a difference, but I would have given her a short reason for why you can't make it (if you actually couldn't make it). If you were able to make it, then I probably would have just accepted since she was letting you know that the change was out of her control, but she still seemed like she wanted to see you.

Yeah, I felt bad about telling her I couldn't make it. I didn't want to seem like a pushover, or like my schedule was free all the time, but I should have done it since I was getting a lot interest anyways. Good tip.

I like to use emoticons also. It gives off a warm vibe and makes her feel more "at ease" about texting back. If you're not used to using them, it may feel a bit corny to you, but once you find that you're having more success with girls texting you back, I guarantee you won't care.

I was just thinking, "Damn, Franco loves these emoticons!" lol. But it makes sense...that warmth is really key to get girls to meet with you.

Me 3:22 - Hey its Nick...save my number (sent during our in person conversation)
Me 5:34 - Cool to meet you - Nick (sent as an icebreaker after the convo)
Her 11:54 - Nice to meet you too

The above is fine. I've done that several times.

OK, cool. All I was thinking after I read that second text was "Son of a B****, my case is blown!" haha

Yep. That was quite a mouthful for a cold text on a different day that she wasn't expecting. It's always best to open up short and sweet to get her to text back, then you can move into asking her on the date.

i.e.

Me: How was the rest of your Thursday night, Sara?
Her: It was great! What about yours?
Me: Awesome! Ended up at a party by the end of the day... Aussies here are nuts, lol. We should grab that lunch! What's your schedule like this week?

Always make the first text easy for her to respond to. =)

Alright, my suspicions have been confirmed. Good tip on that replacement text.

Excellent, Franco! This post was exactly what I was looking for.

Cheers,
Jake

 

[shockbroker]

Nice, Franco.

I agree, especially about the emoticons. It makes a huge difference in my opinion. Don't use more emoticons than the girl though, but without them it's just so difficult to express yourself properly in 160 characters or less!


I'd like to make another contribution.

For some reason, when I make a really good first impression (you can just feel it, if you know what I'm talking about) but talk to the girl for only a few minutes they might respond at first but fall off later, or not respond at all .

In my experience, again, when the first impression was solid, I can mostly get them to text back by being a little persistent about it. Even toss them a compliment if I have to.

Example:
A super hot Russian girl I met in a bar but was only able to talk to for 2-3 min before her friends dragged her away.
Me: (that night) Hey K, nice to meet you. Get home safe. E.
Her2min later) Nice to meet you too!
...then, with 2 day intervals I've sent her 3 texts in order to try and get her out, but she did not respond at all. So I went for a desperate measure:
Me: OK, too bad. Just wanna tell you you're absolutely stunning! Hope u have a nice life!
Her: (few hours later) Hi! Sorry I didn't respond before, was busy BLABLABLA
...went on a date a week later and had amazing sex

Also did this with my most recent date. Couldn't meet her because I was leaving on holidays. When I got back she didn't respond initally.

Example:
Me: A, hope you can make it. You've got the best legs I've seen that week!
Her: Haha I guess I'm supposed to be flattered! I'm not sure to be free tonight, but I can tell you after dinner if it's ok for you.

Now, I live in France so maybe the girls here are more used to being flattered a bit more than elsewhere. I'm from the Netherlands myself and I know in my country it's not usual at all to flatter a girl, maybe the same in the U.S.

Hope it helps anyone...