Can someone explain "Push-Pull" to me?

[MileHighTexan]

I think I kinda understand the concept but I really don't know how to apply it in an interaction. It seems like you go back and forth from seeming interested to seeming aloof. Being nice to her and then giving her shit. Touching her and then backing away. Am I on the right track here? Can any of you guys give me examples of it being applied in an interaction? Or FRs of you using it yourselves?

 

[Inferno]

@ Texan

Have you done your newbie assignment yet? Id strongly advise completing it, but the main site has articles on push pull, and push pull is a tool
Not a magic pill.

 

[MileHighTexan]

Not to sound cocky, but I've been at this for around 2 years now so not a newbie. I just haven't really applied this technique yet because I don't fully understand it, and I thought this was the appropriate place to ask. I know that no technique, trick, or anything is a magic pill.

 

[Inferno]

I see, sorry.

So push pull is a lot of things
Chase framing
Could be push or pull depending on the girl

Pull would be deep diving, or rewarding her with touch, giving her compliance.

Could you elaborate more on what exactly you want to know

You have 2years of exp, so you're probably using some push pull unconsciously

And me, Im not that exp, im very well read so maybe someone else could help.


Best of luck tex


-inferno

 

[TheWiseFool]

Texan,

Check out this article.

push = show interest or imagery of you together
pull = create metaphorical distance

Verbal Example
pull = "The things I'd do to you in bed."
push = "No nevermind, a good girl like you would never be up for anything like that."

push = "Stop biting your lip like that."
pull = "If you keep doing that, we'll get in trouble for me not being able to control myself any longer"
or

Nonverbal Example
You are about to kiss her, but you stop 2-3 inches from her lips and you see that she wants it but you back off and continue on the conversation. She sits there with an expression of surprise thinking, "KISS ME DAMNIT! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!"

My examples are probably not that great but you get the idea?

Hope this helps and let me know if you have anymore questions,
- The Wise Fool

 

[BarryS1]

I think I kinda understand the concept but I really don't know how to apply it in an interaction. It seems like you go back and forth from seeming interested to seeming aloof. Being nice to her and then giving her shit. Touching her and then backing away. Am I on the right track here? Can any of you guys give me examples of it being applied in an interaction? Or FRs of you using it yourselves?

I have a different impression of push-pull than you. Instead of across the flow of conversation, I think push-pull (or pull-push) is used in one line of dialogue. Here's an example of me on a date walking side-by-side with a girl on a warf:

Girl: Darn! The guy with the parrots isn't here today. There's nothing to do now.

Me: (Angry tone of voice) You just are never happy are you? (Walks closer, squeezes her hip, and whispers into ear) But being hard to please is kinda classy.

Girl: (snorts and visibly restrains herself from smiling).


Hope this helps!

 

[luego]

There's also the old "negging" aspect of push-pull, which may be what you're referring to. Although I don't think Chase recommends that route.

 

[metomeya]

Do push her to the ground, then she pulls you on of her. Have sex in the middle of the night club

 

[PinotNoir]

Do push her to the ground, then she pulls you on of her. Have sex in the middle of the night club

Haha, perfect.

I think the overarching idea of the push-pull technique is to show interest while also getting her invested in the conversation (and ultimately you).

TWF has good examples. Here are mine.

Example of no push-pull:

Guy: "I love your hat. It's so sexy."
Girl: "Thanks. My grandmother bought it for me."
Guy: "I love people that love their grandmothers. Do you have a close relationship?"
Girl: "Yes, it's close."
Guy: "What do you do for a living?"
Girl: "I'm a writer."
Guy: "I love writers."

It's pretty one-sided, dull, etc.

Example of push-pull:

Guy: "I love your hat, but you're wearing it all wrong."
Girl: "Thanks, but what do you mean I'm wearing it all wrong! I think I look lovely in it."
Guy: "Haha, well here." [Tilts hat slightly.] "Perfect. Now, you look sexy!"
Girl: "What? You did nothing. Haha. My grandmother got it for me."
Guy: "You know... I love my grandmother too, but I'd never wear her hats!"
Girl: "It's not her hat! She just bought it and gave it to me."
Guy: "Ah, I see. Well, it's cool that you love your grandmother, but that probably means you're just not wild enough for me.... probably love baking cookies and kissing puppies."
Girl: "Haha, whatever. You don't even know me! You can't even handle this."
Guy: "Well, let me get to know you. What do you do for a living?
Girl: "I'm a writer."
Guy: "Okay, Miss Wild, what was your last book? 50 Shades of Grandmother?"

Maybe not the best example, but I think you get the idea.

I don't think push-pull is great on an opener, since she doesn't even know you yet. If done incorrectly, you just come off as a jerk, instead of as a confident guy that teases women (which you want).

Ultimately, I think it's about getting her invested in the conversation and invested in you. Change it up (not like every other guy) and wake her up. If she doesn't get invested after push-pulls, then there's probably little hope.

 

[BarryS1]

I don't think push-pull is great on an opener, since she doesn't even know you yet. If done incorrectly, you just come off as a jerk, instead of as a confident guy that teases women (which you want).

Ultimately, I think it's about getting her invested in the conversation and invested in you. Change it up (not like every other guy) and wake her up. If she doesn't get invested after push-pulls, then there's probably little hope.

PinotNoir has a good observation. The push just teases the girl, while the pull follows up. Teasing it s fine art in itself, get that down and this tactic becomes much simpler Here's Chase's article about teasing https://www.girlschase.com/content/teasing-girl-right-way.

Crazy how so much of GC material is interwoven with other tactics.

 

[Light]

Yep. What everyone says is correct. Push -Pull is a tool, but it is also an art by it's own right.

There is no right way to do it, and you can push-pull in any situation.

The common term is known has "Teasing", or close to teasing.

You disqualify her, yet qualify her at the same time.

Its like fishing, you've gotta let the fish swim away for a bit and then reel it in, and so on back and forth.

The art of push-pull is the same art as reeling.

Happy Fishing!