- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
- Messages
- 315
The reason for my question relates to a situation Iʼm in now. I think I may be trapped in a catch‑22, where, because my first lays were sexual failures on my part, my whole sexy vibe is unconsciously thrown off, and this has I suspect actually made it harder for me to get laid than it was before I ever seduced a girl! Iʼve talked more about that in another post.
One possible solution would be to try to find an escort I can get along with, to help me gain some confidence in the sex act itself. The idea here is, in part, that if I can satisfy that girl sexually, Iʼll probably start to feel a little sexier, and this will come across in my body language etc. in cold approaches, and hopefully the outcomes of those approaches improve or at least get back to where they were before I suffered sexual failures.
The problem is, can you really give sexual pleasure to a girl youʼre paying? Youʼve bypassed the whole emotional roller-coaster theyʼd normally be experiencing in a real seduction, and I have to wonder what kind of effect that would have on their enjoyment of the act. Because a lot of sex is psychological, especially for women.
Well, I have a buddy who visits other countries and basically pays for sex, as much as he tries to couch it in more romantic and noble terminology. He will relate how loud she was moaning and how many times he made the girl cum and how she squirted and all of that.
But Iʼm aware that escorts routinely fake their enjoyment. Well, appearing to like it is part of the service they are providing.
Iʼve seen a lot of conflicting information on this.
Some guys say that it depends on the particular girl, but that some of them do actually reach orgasms if you do a good job for them — mind you, the guys saying this are guys who hire escorts, so this could be wishful thinking on their part. I mean, how would they really know?
I read an account by a (real, not paying) boyfriend of an escort, of how he and his girlfriend would read over reviews that guys had left for the girl, showing off how many times theyʼd made the girl cum etc., and theyʼd both laugh, because she was faking it. Of course, even then I donʼt know what to believe, because it may well be that the girl didnʼt want to hurt her BFʼs feelings or look like a slut by admitting that some random Johns actually did please her.
Even what the escorts themselves say candidly varies wildly. Itʼs not uncommon for them to say that their customers are totally incapable of pleasing them. But others have also said, sometimes theyʼre faking but sometimes itʼs real. And then there are some who openly claim that they got into escorting because it makes them feel empowered and sexy and they really love sex.
Um, ok. That helps me so much.
I just think that if Iʼm missing the mark completely, those girls are not going to tell me, and theyʼre going to just act like they love it. Even the uncertainty makes it a little unproductive. And from what I understand, thereʼs no really good way to know if sheʼs faking. (Hell, Iʼm pretty sure I could indistinguishably fake my own orgasm, unless she checks for semen.) Then again, itʼs not like normal girls donʼt fake it, too.
I could try talking to her in advance about it. Let her know that Iʼm trying to learn to be good in bed for the girls I seduce, so I need her to be honest. Iʼd also explain to her how easy it was to get laid, both for my own pride and because it could be a turn‑on for her, that at least I understand women better than most of the chumps she services.
But even assuming I can get her to be honest about my performance, Iʼm concerned that Iʼm inherently not going to be able to please her, because of it being transactional instead of seductive. Because the emotional excitement of seduction canʼt possibly be there for her.
I have read one female account in particular of a sexual encounter (don't recall the type of relationship), in which the woman related, “physically, he was doing everything right in order to make me cum had my mind been in the right place, but my mind just wasnʼt in the right place, so I couldnʼt.” Thatʼs what worries me.
Could it be possible to turn a girl on still in spite of the fact that youʼre paying her, if you somehow make it closer to a seduction? Women are attracted to sexual aggression. Maybe if youʼre more sexually aggressive, could that make her orgasm? I suspect that the awkward guy who just sits there and makes her have to undress him and is timid with her, etc., probably will never make her really cum. Maybe the guy who knows exactly what to do with her and takes the lead, could get her to?
There are also two other ways to look at it.
One angle is that, maybe the deception is just as useful.
I mean, if she really tricks me into thinking I rocked her world, wouldnʼt I still look at the girl shopping in the grocery store with my unconscious mind thinking, “Iʼm going to make you walk funny, just like I did with the other girl.” Then it would still be “mission accomplished”, no? Because Iʼd still be conveying that to her in my body language.
The only uncertainty, really, is whether my unconscious mind will actually believe that I did please the girl. Thatʼs hard to answer.
Finally, I could look at it as, it doesnʼt even matter if the girl enjoys it, because part of the sexual dominance mentality is to use the girl to please yourself. (And in turn, she probably enjoys it more, because her brain is wired to be turned on by this dominance.)
My vibe could well be off partly because on some level Iʼm having a lot of trouble looking at a cute sista as a source of sexual pleasure.
Iʼve had sex with them but Iʼve never even been able to get to that level where I can feel my body gradually preparing to impregnate the girl, let alone the actual release. In that sense Iʼve never actually taken pleasure in a girl. The thinking here is that if I experienced that, itʼd enable me to look at that cutie shopping in the grocery store with my unconscious mind thinking, “Iʼm going to enjoy bending you over and blowing my load into you, just like I enjoyed the other girl.” Perhaps that would have the same effect?
One possible solution would be to try to find an escort I can get along with, to help me gain some confidence in the sex act itself. The idea here is, in part, that if I can satisfy that girl sexually, Iʼll probably start to feel a little sexier, and this will come across in my body language etc. in cold approaches, and hopefully the outcomes of those approaches improve or at least get back to where they were before I suffered sexual failures.
The problem is, can you really give sexual pleasure to a girl youʼre paying? Youʼve bypassed the whole emotional roller-coaster theyʼd normally be experiencing in a real seduction, and I have to wonder what kind of effect that would have on their enjoyment of the act. Because a lot of sex is psychological, especially for women.
Well, I have a buddy who visits other countries and basically pays for sex, as much as he tries to couch it in more romantic and noble terminology. He will relate how loud she was moaning and how many times he made the girl cum and how she squirted and all of that.
But Iʼm aware that escorts routinely fake their enjoyment. Well, appearing to like it is part of the service they are providing.
Iʼve seen a lot of conflicting information on this.
Some guys say that it depends on the particular girl, but that some of them do actually reach orgasms if you do a good job for them — mind you, the guys saying this are guys who hire escorts, so this could be wishful thinking on their part. I mean, how would they really know?
I read an account by a (real, not paying) boyfriend of an escort, of how he and his girlfriend would read over reviews that guys had left for the girl, showing off how many times theyʼd made the girl cum etc., and theyʼd both laugh, because she was faking it. Of course, even then I donʼt know what to believe, because it may well be that the girl didnʼt want to hurt her BFʼs feelings or look like a slut by admitting that some random Johns actually did please her.
Even what the escorts themselves say candidly varies wildly. Itʼs not uncommon for them to say that their customers are totally incapable of pleasing them. But others have also said, sometimes theyʼre faking but sometimes itʼs real. And then there are some who openly claim that they got into escorting because it makes them feel empowered and sexy and they really love sex.
Um, ok. That helps me so much.
I just think that if Iʼm missing the mark completely, those girls are not going to tell me, and theyʼre going to just act like they love it. Even the uncertainty makes it a little unproductive. And from what I understand, thereʼs no really good way to know if sheʼs faking. (Hell, Iʼm pretty sure I could indistinguishably fake my own orgasm, unless she checks for semen.) Then again, itʼs not like normal girls donʼt fake it, too.
I could try talking to her in advance about it. Let her know that Iʼm trying to learn to be good in bed for the girls I seduce, so I need her to be honest. Iʼd also explain to her how easy it was to get laid, both for my own pride and because it could be a turn‑on for her, that at least I understand women better than most of the chumps she services.
But even assuming I can get her to be honest about my performance, Iʼm concerned that Iʼm inherently not going to be able to please her, because of it being transactional instead of seductive. Because the emotional excitement of seduction canʼt possibly be there for her.
I have read one female account in particular of a sexual encounter (don't recall the type of relationship), in which the woman related, “physically, he was doing everything right in order to make me cum had my mind been in the right place, but my mind just wasnʼt in the right place, so I couldnʼt.” Thatʼs what worries me.
Could it be possible to turn a girl on still in spite of the fact that youʼre paying her, if you somehow make it closer to a seduction? Women are attracted to sexual aggression. Maybe if youʼre more sexually aggressive, could that make her orgasm? I suspect that the awkward guy who just sits there and makes her have to undress him and is timid with her, etc., probably will never make her really cum. Maybe the guy who knows exactly what to do with her and takes the lead, could get her to?
There are also two other ways to look at it.
One angle is that, maybe the deception is just as useful.
I mean, if she really tricks me into thinking I rocked her world, wouldnʼt I still look at the girl shopping in the grocery store with my unconscious mind thinking, “Iʼm going to make you walk funny, just like I did with the other girl.” Then it would still be “mission accomplished”, no? Because Iʼd still be conveying that to her in my body language.
The only uncertainty, really, is whether my unconscious mind will actually believe that I did please the girl. Thatʼs hard to answer.
Finally, I could look at it as, it doesnʼt even matter if the girl enjoys it, because part of the sexual dominance mentality is to use the girl to please yourself. (And in turn, she probably enjoys it more, because her brain is wired to be turned on by this dominance.)
My vibe could well be off partly because on some level Iʼm having a lot of trouble looking at a cute sista as a source of sexual pleasure.
Iʼve had sex with them but Iʼve never even been able to get to that level where I can feel my body gradually preparing to impregnate the girl, let alone the actual release. In that sense Iʼve never actually taken pleasure in a girl. The thinking here is that if I experienced that, itʼd enable me to look at that cutie shopping in the grocery store with my unconscious mind thinking, “Iʼm going to enjoy bending you over and blowing my load into you, just like I enjoyed the other girl.” Perhaps that would have the same effect?
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