Can you get girls while kind of hating your life?

[HumanWhoLearns]

I'm in my late 20's, never really had any success with women before this year. I also have no real friends. I consider real friends people who value your company, will contact you first to talk sometimes, and who care about you and what's going on in your life. I've never really had real friends. I suppose I'm doing something wrong or it's something about my personality; I do have social anxiety and depression which I know is a big impediment to forming connections with people.

Will I have to wait and try to improve my life for the better before I change enough for women to like me? It's very difficult to change; I would've done so a long time ago if I could have. Also troubling is that my efforts to try to make friends has failed horribly and my results with women aren't much better. So my history with people gives me low confidence before I even set out.

 

[zappbrannigan]

I'm in my late 20's, never really had any success with women before this year. I also have no real friends. I consider real friends people who value your company, will contact you first to talk sometimes, and who care about you and what's going on in your life. I've never really had real friends. I suppose I'm doing something wrong or it's something about my personality; I do have social anxiety and depression which I know is a big impediment to forming connections with people.

Will I have to wait and try to improve my life for the better before I change enough for women to like me? It's very difficult to change; I would've done so a long time ago if I could have. Also troubling is that my efforts to try to make friends has failed horribly and my results with women aren't much better. So my history with people gives me low confidence before I even set out.

Try working on both things at the same time if you don't want to wait. Also, you don't want to be that guy that's incessantly "improving himself" while never actually making moves on girls. Improving your social skills can only be done by putting yourself into social situations. It sucks, but it's true. It's what psychologist call exposure therapy. By doing what you fear, you start to fear it less. If it helps you feel more up to it, you can read some books about it, but the only thing is to practice. And, also important, try to observe what more successful men are doing and integrate their behaviours into your own style.

 

[Space]

Though I haven't personally tried it, I find it entirely possible. Hell, why not? You just have to find the right girl who resonates with your vibe. Check out this hilariously funny interview of Chris/Social Prime by JMULV where they are discussing exactly this topic!

 

[JacobPalmer]

I'm in my late 20's, never really had any success with women before this year. I also have no real friends. I consider real friends people who value your company, will contact you first to talk sometimes, and who care about you and what's going on in your life. I've never really had real friends. I suppose I'm doing something wrong or it's something about my personality; I do have social anxiety and depression which I know is a big impediment to forming connections with people.

Will I have to wait and try to improve my life for the better before I change enough for women to like me? It's very difficult to change; I would've done so a long time ago if I could have. Also troubling is that my efforts to try to make friends has failed horribly and my results with women aren't much better. So my history with people gives me low confidence before I even set out.

Try working on both things at the same time if you don't want to wait. Also, you don't want to be that guy that's incessantly "improving himself" while never actually making moves on girls. Improving your social skills can only be done by putting yourself into social situations. It sucks, but it's true. It's what psychologist call exposure therapy. By doing what you fear, you start to fear it less. If it helps you feel more up to it, you can read some books about it, but the only thing is to practice. And, also important, try to observe what more successful men are doing and integrate their behaviours into your own style.

I like what zappbrannigan said here, you really have to do both. And here's my own advice.

1. You don't really need that many friends. Honestly I prefer hanging out with girls more than my guy friends, because they're fun and sexy and cute, and also......I can't fuck my guy friends. (Well I could but you know what I mean).
2. You have this kindof entitled mindset right now, no offense, of people should contact you first. How about instead be the guy who contacts people first and fills them with warmth and connection, and then people will just be naturally drawn to you. Be the guy who makes things happens, not who waits around for things to happen to him.
3. As for the depression, I get it, I've been there, and sometimes it comes back, but always under the same circumstances. I'm not eating well, I've been slacking on working out/exercising, and sometimes if I have no girls on the go. But usually the first two points. So start eating well (I recommend being whole foods plant based) and start exercising. Your mood will improve significantly. ALSO, exercise in the morning, you'll carry that feeling throughout the day.
4. Remember, you're awesome. And you can come here for support if you need it, as long as you're putting in the work.

 

[jakesykes949]

You can yeah, but it's definitely a lot easier if you love your life.

Start putting in work to improve your life, dude. You should always be first. You are #1 in your own life.

 

[Jakeroviks]

Chase success, not women.

Learning game is akin to becoming a better salesman where your product is you. I don't care how good your sales skills are. I'd rather build a product that sells itself.

 

[Poli]

Chase success, not women.

Learning game is akin to becoming a better salesman where your product is you. I don't care how good your sales skills are. I'd rather build a product that sells itself.

This is 100% on point