Chase advise on not talking much and make her talk.
I tend to agree.
But I can see some people being successful with talking, so I'd like to hear some different point of views.
The pros of talking a lot
A friend of mine, the closest thing I have to a wingman, does talk a lot.
It can be OK if you're very charismatic.
He's very charismatic because you can really sense he really believes in what he says: he repeats his concepts often and doesn't ask for opinions, he just explains them.
This makes him look like a leader figure you'd look up to because he comes across as a guy who has found his truths in life and has all figured out.
And this in spite of the fact that what he says he's not elaborated in any way and open minded at all (he's from a muslim Country, not very well learned, not particularly well spoken and has got many of the cliche muslim convictions about the role of girls and men*).
What he says and does strongly slots girls in two categories: some women are clearly drawn in while some are pushed away relatively quick (there's another aspect that polarizes the field and should be taken into account, he's black in a country with very few black people and this polarizes the field quite strongly: some really don't like it while some other dig it, but let's leave this one out).
However, I believe that if you have to choose, you'd rather play in a polarized field as it makes everything easier (you move out of strong rejections, you keep going on strong IOIs).
He doesn't particularly target beautiful girls, but he is fairly successful and many of the girls he gets from the beginning tend to stick with him towards the whole night in spite of his relentless gab and lack of deep dive
.
*This is just an honest assessment, not a critique, I like him for what he is, he's one of the very few good friends I've got living here as an expat.
The pros of "smart peacocking"
Chase also advises against showing off knowledge and "the smarts", and I think the two (talking and showing off) can be very connected.
I'm not yet 100% sure, but I tend to agree with this as well, and because of personal experience.
As a guy who loves reading and getting to know things, I used to love a good conversation and making my point across trying to change people's view (talking about the pros of capitalism in strongly socialistic inclined Europe; how this society was not bad at all but riding the crest of a huge, unparalleled jump forward in pretty much almost every positive way and other smart-alecky things.. ).
Here, like in the talking a lot -provided you are charismatic and don't bore the hell out of her-, there can be good upsides in unleashing your good oratory skills and knowledge -provided you actually have those skills and don't annoy the hell out of her-.
In my experience, I got some good points and some more well learned girls used to enjoy a lot the time with me and consider it "something they'd hardly get somewhere else" and sought my company again.
It can be attractive also with less well learned girls. A previous GF told me one of the reasons she loved me and felt safe and stable with me was because "I had all the answers" (opinions, rather than listening, again, making me look like a leader figure to look up to. BTW I'm short and she was around 10-15 CM taller and good looking, I doubt she would have ended up with me beyond a one night stand without this "cultural edge").
However, I do tend to think that, barred some peculiar situations (you know her for quite a while; the topic is there and/or you are able to make your comment short and poignant without trying to destroy her POV etc. etc.), I'd be better off withholding my opinions and knowledge and let her talk the most, especially so at the beginning.
YOUR OPINION
Sorry for talking so much at length, I guess you now believe me I can be very wordy and tedious
Your opinion on listening/keeping quiet/deep dive (focus on her) VS charismatic talking/showing off knowledge/sharing strongly held opinions (focus on you) ?
I tend to agree.
But I can see some people being successful with talking, so I'd like to hear some different point of views.
The pros of talking a lot
A friend of mine, the closest thing I have to a wingman, does talk a lot.
It can be OK if you're very charismatic.
He's very charismatic because you can really sense he really believes in what he says: he repeats his concepts often and doesn't ask for opinions, he just explains them.
This makes him look like a leader figure you'd look up to because he comes across as a guy who has found his truths in life and has all figured out.
And this in spite of the fact that what he says he's not elaborated in any way and open minded at all (he's from a muslim Country, not very well learned, not particularly well spoken and has got many of the cliche muslim convictions about the role of girls and men*).
What he says and does strongly slots girls in two categories: some women are clearly drawn in while some are pushed away relatively quick (there's another aspect that polarizes the field and should be taken into account, he's black in a country with very few black people and this polarizes the field quite strongly: some really don't like it while some other dig it, but let's leave this one out).
However, I believe that if you have to choose, you'd rather play in a polarized field as it makes everything easier (you move out of strong rejections, you keep going on strong IOIs).
He doesn't particularly target beautiful girls, but he is fairly successful and many of the girls he gets from the beginning tend to stick with him towards the whole night in spite of his relentless gab and lack of deep dive
.*This is just an honest assessment, not a critique, I like him for what he is, he's one of the very few good friends I've got living here as an expat.
The pros of "smart peacocking"
Chase also advises against showing off knowledge and "the smarts", and I think the two (talking and showing off) can be very connected.
I'm not yet 100% sure, but I tend to agree with this as well, and because of personal experience.
As a guy who loves reading and getting to know things, I used to love a good conversation and making my point across trying to change people's view (talking about the pros of capitalism in strongly socialistic inclined Europe; how this society was not bad at all but riding the crest of a huge, unparalleled jump forward in pretty much almost every positive way and other smart-alecky things.. ).
Here, like in the talking a lot -provided you are charismatic and don't bore the hell out of her-, there can be good upsides in unleashing your good oratory skills and knowledge -provided you actually have those skills and don't annoy the hell out of her-.
In my experience, I got some good points and some more well learned girls used to enjoy a lot the time with me and consider it "something they'd hardly get somewhere else" and sought my company again.
It can be attractive also with less well learned girls. A previous GF told me one of the reasons she loved me and felt safe and stable with me was because "I had all the answers" (opinions, rather than listening, again, making me look like a leader figure to look up to. BTW I'm short and she was around 10-15 CM taller and good looking, I doubt she would have ended up with me beyond a one night stand without this "cultural edge").
However, I do tend to think that, barred some peculiar situations (you know her for quite a while; the topic is there and/or you are able to make your comment short and poignant without trying to destroy her POV etc. etc.), I'd be better off withholding my opinions and knowledge and let her talk the most, especially so at the beginning.
YOUR OPINION
Sorry for talking so much at length, I guess you now believe me I can be very wordy and tedious
Your opinion on listening/keeping quiet/deep dive (focus on her) VS charismatic talking/showing off knowledge/sharing strongly held opinions (focus on you) ?
