Chase's article on Foot in the door

[CaptainHenley]

Howdy,

in that article Chase mentions on how you should say to a girl to go out at least one time, over the phone, and not by text.

What if I only have this girl's messenger? You can make phone calls from that but I havent seen anyone actually using it that way, plus it requires an internet connection which if it isnt good then would make the phone call quite awkward.

But the big question is, how do I go about mentioning to go out to this girl again if the last thing we said was me asking her out and her declining?

How do I re-open the date proposal with her?

Cheers

 

[Sandman]

If you have her messenger, get her number.

If you asked her out and she declined, give it some time then call her again.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Cap,

I haven't read said article.

In general, I avoid stating things in a way that could result in "No". Once the No is out of the door, it is difficult to go back (although not impossible). Instead, float the idea and test the mood. If mood is meeeh, try again later. The idea is to make sure the door stays open.

Avoid this:

You: do you want to go out with me?
Her: (Yes or No)

Instead, try this:

You: We should go out for a (drink / walk / coffee /... insert what is likely to work here) one of these days
Her: Sounds like a plan (You: proceed to logistics)
Her: I don't feel great these days or whatever. Try again later

In the same vein, you want to avoid the "I will let you know" loophole - a classic trap designed to set you chasing her ass. I have already explained this here and here.

Cheers,
Seppuku