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FR  Chasing, persistance, and "Did I really just say that?"

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,897
It's funny after a couple initial lays and a decent date or two around the beginning of the year I was thinking I'm so fucking cool and know what I'm doing but after going over a couple recent FR's I have realized that I have a long way to go still before I get to the point where I can pick up consistently.

Overall my voice is just garbage and I really need to work on getting that handled. I could still improve my overall vibe, though sometimes its spot on, the majority of the time it could use some tweaks (though I'm a tough critic).

These are two interactions taken from my journal that I know something was off about and I think I know what went wrong in them, but still feel like there is something that I'm missing or could improve on that I'm overlooking.

I'm just posting this to get some feedback and appreciate any comments, concerns, slaps to the ego ;).

3. Girl at my school walking to class. This one went a lot better! I said hi and delivered my opener and she was laughing and in a good mood as I said it. She was still a maybe girl and I had to try and get the conversation kindled. Unfortunately I was a little bit on the joker/entertainer side (though I'm a harsh critic) and my voice was still sucking balls (not very dominant, though it wasn't nervous!).


Me: Well I don't want to hold you up for too long, you seem like a very disciplined girl and I'm assuming ambitious, soo, lets grab a coffee, get to know each other a little bit and

Her: (cutting me off while giggling) you just pick up girls so easily?

Me: Easily? I don't know what you're talking about.

Her: uh Huh? (semi eye roll of skepticism)

Me: what do you mean pick up women?

Her: idk

Me: If I were to pick up women I'd be using my hands (as I go put my arm around her to emphasize what I just said... though looking back I should have literally just picked her up)

Her: welllll.. suree you can get my number (said in a way like I had just earned her number) ... uh did something wrong somewhere down the line

Me: (processing thoughts in order to come up with good response) But I want to actually get to know you, not just go pick you up, hook up and that's it. That's simply not fun. (here I'm trying to make her think that that's what she's implying and me try to point this in the direction that I actually give a fuck to get to know who she is)



this didn't work out super well and she soon excused herself to go to class. I insisted she stay for another minute and told her we need to trade contact info and I commanded her to have a seat next to me (there was a bench nearby) in which I didn't command in a question like voice, thus having her resist my attempts to command thus stacking negative compliance :/. She tried to say she had to go to class again but I commanded her to stay and then immediately cut the thread and moved to a new topic (her job).

She soon said something else about her having to go to class so I told her to give me her contact info

then this came into play when exchanging contact info


Me: Are you an eight fifty girl? (referencing area code)

Her: Whats that? You mean the area code yeah I'm 850... yes I am ----- (BOOM hold up I just turned her from a face with a personality into a number and she said "yes I am" rather shamefully like I was adding her to my list of hoes or something... like Ludacris's song Area Codes)

Though on the bright side I did do a cool little trick. Instead of asking for her to tell me my number, as a dude was walking past, I told her to check my phone to see if it's working and winked at her with a smile to signal her to put her digits in that way passerby's wouldn't think she's getting picked up.



So at this point she was still a "maybe" girl and then as we were leaving she left without too much "I'm so glad you came to talk to me!" vibe and simply wished I have a good one. Then on top of that I tell her
"good luck with your discipline in life" in a rather awkward not so socially adroit way. lol it's amazing how many retarded sentences come out of my mouth on a daily basis.

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7. Very petite blonde in old navy with sexy lips (mmmm!) . Not the hottest girl but she had a nice little booty and boobs.
We passed each other and smiled in which I should've opened immediately but didn't.
We flowed around each other for a bit and she went to some ladies section so I mingled my way over, pre opened, and said:


Her: Hi (no real facial expression bad or good except that she was broken out of autopilot

Me: I really like your scarf (she wasn't wearing a scarf) *said I a very shitty voice* AHHH!

her: I don't have a scarf (said in a very whispering soft voice)

Me: I know its just a way to make conversation (said matter of factly)

her: oh okay, hehe (smiles), oh I was confused I was like "I don't have a scarf on!"

Me: Noo, your hair and your smile brought me over

Her: (said in a whisper again) ugh my hair looks so nasty

Me: (I didn't actually like her hair that much and she could sense it... I did like her lips though don't know why I didn't say that :/... sooo I try and course correct)
Nooo, I just like the flow and the blondness

Her: Yeah? okay, hmph, I'm glad someone likes it

Me: I just had to come find out who you were

Her: I'm Morgan

Me: I'm Robert

Her: Nice to meet you Robert

me: yeah.. soo what brings you out today? Your shopping for uh your boyfriend? (I know I'm not supposed to even bring this up but I like Just_dave's advice on this as a screening tool to psyfer through women that most likely won't be following your lead anyway.. I like to use this on girls that are maybe girl since a lot of times they are "maybe" girls because they have boyfriends (and my fundamentals aren't rock star status).

Her: (she had some camo pants in her hand and made the assumption I was talking about them) I can't have camo pants? Are these man pants?

Me: No I didn't know, It was just the first assumption

Her: I think they're actually way too big for me (they were small friggin pants lol). I'm going to go look in the childrens department!

me: (me backpedaling) I didn't say put them back I'm sure they'd look sexy on you.

Her: no they're going to be way too big I can tell you that right now



So I pretty much kooked it already and was kind of acting like a wuss rather than a charming asshole, but I was determined to persist and see how far I could take it.

I failed to make it past small talk after inquiring about her job and figured a number close was near to impossible to realisticly have it lead anywhere so I tried to get her on an instant date.

I propose that she quit shopping and me and her go grab a coffee and chat for a bit. She tells me I'm very forward and we get on the topic of spontaneity for a minute and she tells me of her last spontaneous charade.

Then she wanders a bit out of range to look for some more clothes and since I don't want to chase I command her to come back to me. She asks why I can't follow her around the store (not a good sign) and I cut the thread and command her over.

She complies and then I tell her to give me her hand. She complies and then I tell her were going to get coffee right now. She laughs and comments on how forward I am again. She says



Her: but I want to shop though!

Me: yeah but shopping will be here forever

her: (whispering again) yeah but I need to shop right now... do you think this kids section is going to fit me (she verges on the ADHD side of things)

Me: yeah I'm sure you have a very slim and petite figure, but I don't have time to stand around, shop, and chase you around the store that's ridiculous

Her: right so ridiculous (sarcastically said)



I ask her something else and we get off subject for a second and the next thing I know she wandering around the store again like a lost child.

I know she's not going to come back so I figure one more round of persisting can't hurt. So I casually walk over to the kids section and



Me: I'm little too far in to this to give up now otherwise I'd just look like a complete wuss, and soo I'm going to ask you one more time

Her: (cuts me off) haha I think you might be a tad too young for me

Me: what makes you think that?

Her: how old are you?

me: guess

Her: you said you weren't 21, though I thought you'd be older than 21 but you kinda let the cat out of the bag didn't you?

Me: I don't see how age has anything to do with anything (probably could have said something smoother like and in a way that doesn't make it seem like I'm taking offense like "age doesn't really mean much except that you've been circling the sun a bit longer or shorter than other people.. I'm assuming you simply like experienced men?"



Anyway I cut the thread soon enough and take her by the hand to attempt to lead her away and she denies and tells me I'm sooo forward and calls me "sir" which I guess is kinda good but nonetheless couldn't get her to budge. She then cuts the thread, picks up a pair of shorts and makes a comment about them.

All and all the whole vibe was definitely chasing/persisting... though she was just really not all that interested. I'd imagine if my fundamentals and vibe were put together better then this would have been a deal breaker... and also if I didn't botch the initial opener/transition into small talk.

-Rob
 

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,525
Rob:

Quick one...
Mr.Rob said:
Me: Noo, your hair and your smile brought me over

Her: (said in a whisper again) ugh my hair looks so nasty

Me: (I didn't actually like her hair that much and she could sense it... I did like her lips though don't know why I didn't say that :/... sooo I try and course correct)
I've had this happen where I did genuinely like the girl's hair. But if it wasn't sincere, and you did like her lips, you should've opened with that. Imagine how powerful it could be—noticing something like that! Anatman recently filed a LR where he opens with "You have a fantastic ass". I've never done that, although I've remarked on girls' asses once they're past the hook. My current favorite is complimenting legs: it's sexual, very genuine, and shows attentiveness to important detail ;)

-Marty
 

Gentle_Phrases

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 27, 2013
Messages
292
Hey Rob! How's it going bro. After the past 200 approaches, I've seen these exact scenarios dozens of times. In my approaches prior most of my numbers didn't respond. Now even though I only ask for a few, most do, probably because I've started learning to deal with these scenarios/sense interest better. Of course, my assumption is that a response at the bare minimum connotes some interest.

Girl 3

Her: (cutting me off while giggling) you just pick up girls so easily? Me: Easily? I don't know what you're talking about. Her: uh Huh? (semi eye roll of skepticism)Me: what do you mean pick up women?

Her: idk

Me: If I were to pick up women I'd be using my hands (as I go put my arm around her to emphasize what I just said... though looking back I should have literally just picked her up)

Her: welllll.. suree you can get my number (said in a way like I had just earned her number) ... uh did something wrong somewhere down the line

Me: (processing thoughts in order to come up with good response) But I want to actually get to know you, not just go pick you up, hook up and that's it. That's simply not fun. (here I'm trying to make her think that that's what she's implying and me try to point this in the direction that I actually give a fuck to get to know who she is)

this didn't work out super well and she soon excused herself to go to class

Girls who ask stuff like this are being assholes. They will move with you, hold your hand, walk with their waist around you in the mall, then be difficult when you go for the number/flake after you get it. Why? They want to "derail the train" as Krauser likes to say. They're screwing up the seduction sandcastle that you've painstakingly built by calling you out. That and they're trying to put you on the defensive. The best response is to A) shame them or B) cockily claim that you are a man-whore.

so:

Her: (cutting me off while giggling) you just pick up girls so easily? You: A) Awww, you're an introvert, aren't you? It's okay, this is what people do :) *hug her around the shoulders* I like introverts like you... I'm kind of one myself

Her: (cutting me off while giggling) you just pick up girls so easily? You: B) Yes I hit on girls every minute of every day!!

At first I thought this was some sort of innocent "objection." Now I realize that it's them being annoying and "frame-snatching.' LaidNYC made a great post about this that resonated with me: http://laidnyc.wordpress.com/2014/03/20 ... -resistor/

I, like you, fell into it multiple times and said something similar to what you said which was:

Me: (processing thoughts in order to come up with good response) But I want to actually get to know you, not just go pick you up, hook up and that's it. That's simply not fun. (here I'm trying to make her think that that's what she's implying and me try to point this in the direction that I actually give a fuck to get to know who she is

Gay, gay, gay. Don't say that.

Notice how in almost every Justin Wayne video he says, "Wow. I don't normally do this. Do you always talk to random people on the street?" He knowsssssss girls say things like this so he beats them to it and puts them on the defensive.

*Note to Chase/Franco, is there some sort of article up here about this nonsense yet?

Anyway, please update if she responds to your texts/you get a day two. Curious to get more data points. I feel like she'll respond to your texts, yet try to be a bit difficult to get out/maybe flake but you could still pull through.

Girl 7
We passed each other and smiled in which I should've opened immediately but didn't.

Gay. It happens to all of us. Hopefully this is becoming less common for you? I've noticed that this is becoming a less regular occurrence for me.

Her: (said in a whisper again) ugh my hair looks so nasty

My standard reply whenever girls decry something I compliment so overtly: "You fishing for compliments?" They always smile because they know that it's true.
Me: (I didn't actually like her hair that much and she could sense it... I did like her lips though don't know why I didn't say that :/... sooo I try and course correct)
Nooo, I just like the flow and the blondness

Gay. Don't compliment what you don't like. You could have said something like: "Hey you know, the other girls must be really jealous of you.." She will ask "why." You can say: "Because usually white girls have very thin lips. Except yours are very pouty, like you're making a fishy face." She probably would have accepted that more than the fake hair compliment.
me: yeah.. soo what brings you out today? Your shopping for uh your boyfriend? (I know I'm not supposed to even bring this up but I like Just_dave's advice on this as a screening tool to psyfer through women that most likely won't be following your lead anyway

The more approaches I do, the less patience I have. I agree with you and Just_Dave. For some reason girls with boyfriends love to talk.

Her: (she had some camo pants in her hand and made the assumption I was talking about them) I can't have camo pants? Are these man pants?

I think she was giving you a chance here. Clever way to skip around your question.


Her: I think they're actually way too big for me (they were small friggin pants lol). I'm going to go look in the childrens department!

me: (me backpedaling) I didn't say put them back I'm sure they'd look sexy on you.

Her: no they're going to be way too big I can tell you that right now

Gay. Chasing. Better response: "Totally, you'd probably drown in them. Here I thought these were hot *show her something retarded*" Sometimes, I tell girls I don't like things that I actually do like because when I compliment something later, it sounds more sincere (to those crazies anyway). Try it out on your mom and your social circle. Soon, you'll get compliments about how you're "so honest." Welcome to bizarro-world.
She complies and then I tell her to give me her hand. She complies and then I tell her were going to get coffee right now. She laughs and comments on how forward I am again. She says

Her: but I want to shop though!

Me: yeah but shopping will be here forever

her: (whispering again) yeah but I need to shop right now... do you think this kids section is going to fit me (she verges on the ADHD side of things)

Me: yeah I'm sure you have a very slim and petite figure, but I don't have time to stand around, shop, and chase you around the store that's ridiculous

Her: right so ridiculous (sarcastically said)

You have to give a little to get a little.. The difference between persistent and bossy. Instead of what you said in bold, I would have said:

You: Okay, a few minutes is fine. I actually have to shop for someone too. She's around your size. Do you think she would like these? *Pick up the exact pair of camo pants that she put down* Make it an obvious joke. Then playfully tell her you don't like anything that she's trying out and that the store is closing in 5 minutes for "renovations." I got an instant date like that.

Her: (cuts me off) haha I think you might be a tad too young for me

Me: what makes you think that?

Her: how old are you?

me: guess

Her: you said you weren't 21, though I thought you'd be older than 21 but you kinda let the cat out of the bag didn't you?

I had this conversation multiple times. SO. ANNOYING. UGGHHH. I think that whenever a girl asks your age it's a majorrrr tell that she's feeling you and has reservations only about age. I could tell because regardless, they would still move with me, hold my hand, etc, then leave saying you're so young. Her point about "letting the cat out of the bag." Here's how I avoid letting them know my age:

Her: how old are you?

Me: Nine-hundred and three. You?

Her: Hahahaha, One thousand and eight!

*Subcommunication, she's still older but with such huge numbers, does it really matter?

Also, when she asks "what do you do?" If she's older it's a probe . If you say I'm a student, she'll usually say, "ahhhhh" knowingly. Instead, I now say things like, "I'm homeless." or "I'm unemployed." or "I live with my parents. Young forever!"

So DONT talk about University, DONT talk about schooling, DONT talk about anything which could reveal your age... until she's hooked. One thing I'm going to try now is telling stories where people mistake me for someone younger even though I'm way out of that age bracket. Try it out with me. She'll ask your real age and then you say.....nine-hundred and three. GIrl D in my most recent FR was a bit older, though I couldn't tell because she looked so young.

By the way, I think this works mostly for girls still close enough to your age bracket.

About Your Voice


I'm now convinced that as long as you don't sound homo or overly aggressive/demanding when you talk to girls, voice doesn't matter. Thinking back, no guy I've known that was good with girls sounded like Barry White. No guy that I've seen pull legendary feats has ever had much of a vocal "purr." No guy that I know is dating consistently has ever sounded like he belonged on the radio. When they talked, they would do the "uptalk" thing where their voice goes up at the end. Girls still liked them. I'm convinced that as long as your voice doesn't have a problem and you don't sound like mandork, there isn't much seductive benefit left to squeeze out of your voice, besides making it project loud enough for girls to hear you. That's the key, not sounding like a milquetoast. They were all loud as all hell and spoke without shame. In fact, one kid had nudes of every hot girl in school on his phone and he sounded like a 14 year old. He was always yelling jokes, teases, and "You're beautiful!!"

When you feel seductive, you sound seductive. When you feel excited, you sound excited. When you don't feel like cold approaching another girl, you sound like you'd rather not be there chatting to her.

Rob, from day one you struck me as cool. Keep up the approaching and take my opinions worth a grain of salt. I'm sure you'll get what you want out of GS if you keep it up. This stuff is so hard. I have no clue how some guys are killing it after just a few weeks.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Dern

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
Messages
278
About Your Voice

I'm now convinced that as long as you don't sound homo or overly aggressive/demanding when you talk to girls, voice doesn't matter. Thinking back, no guy I've known that was good with girls sounded like Barry White. No guy that I've seen pull legendary feats has ever had much of a vocal "purr." No guy that I know is dating consistently has ever sounded like he belonged on the radio. When they talked, they would do the "uptalk" thing where their voice goes up at the end. Girls still liked them. I'm convinced that as long as your voice doesn't have a problem and you don't sound like mandork, there isn't much seductive benefit left to squeeze out of your voice, besides making it project loud enough for girls to hear you. That's the key, not sounding like a milquetoast. They were all loud as all hell and spoke without shame. In fact, one kid had nudes of every hot girl in school on his phone and he sounded like a 14 year old. He was always yelling jokes, teases, and "You're beautiful!!"

When you feel seductive, you sound seductive. When you feel excited, you sound excited. When you don't feel like cold approaching another girl, you sound like you'd rather not be there chatting to her.

Rob, from day one you struck me as cool. Keep up the approaching and take my opinions worth a grain of salt. I'm sure you'll get what you want out of GS if you keep it up. This stuff is so hard. I have no clue how some guys are killing it after just a few weeks.

Glad to read this, because I myself, have always been self-conscious of my voice as well.

Your current state definitely projects on how you carry and express yourself.
 
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