Choosing the Right Battles

[Just_Dave]

Hey Guys,

Just_Dave here, I recently invited a sorority girl over who was giving me all the right signs when I met her at a party two weeks prior to her showing up this week. She was being really flirty and letting me touch all over her and such. The only problem I couldn't escalate with her at the party I was at the time, too many of her friends had eyes on her and what not. So I grabbed the number and texted her next day to meet up. She flaked, so I moved on.

Now this week she texted me out of the blue, "Hey stranger! What have you been up to?" I texted her to come over to my place. Now when she came over we went straight to my room, I built up rapport made her comfortable. When in to make a move just some resistance, turns out she was into another guy. I kept trying to pursuit and she kept trying to resist. I than told her I would need to leave soon, we spent the rest of the time cuddled up. I showed her pictures of us that we had taken together at the party, she had forgotten about them.

Afterwards she would snapchat me photos of her and I would reply and go about my day. So today I got a snapchat of her in a dorm room, so I texted her if she wanted to meet up. Another girl responded first so I met up with her instead. Now when I get home with the other girl, my phone is blown up with messages from the first girl about how I made her feel uncomfortable the one day by trying to make a move. *Edit* I made my intentions very clear from the jump that I wanted to get physical and not pursue a platonic friendship! *Edit* In summary she was disturbed I still had pictures of her and me from the party and that was a little creepy, and she felt uncomfortable I had no respect for her liking someone else. She did say we could still hang out, but in a group. (No thanks to the friendzone lol)

I just responded, "My bad for making you feel uncomfortable and I understand where you're coming from." She kept trying to start drama, but I ultimately told her I had to go, but thanks for letting me know about your hurt feelings. I told her to enjoy the rest of the weekend. She told me too and delete those photos.

My point:
Sometimes when seductions go awry girls will be upset about something, but you need to be strong and find out the issue. Avoid words such as sorry. Don't get into texting battles, I sent three messages to her seven novels. Avoid the drama and move on!

Other comments:
Don't burn bridges, I told the girl to enjoy the rest of the weekend and I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable. Still show you a decent person, but don't take abuse. I didn't apologize for pictures that she didn't remember us taking, cause she was still sober at the time. She got drunker much later. Either way, if anyone else has comments I am open to hear them. Also, have you ever experienced a seduction gone this awry lol?!

Peace out,

Dave

 

[trashKENNUT]

Just_Dave,

Also, have you ever experienced a seduction gone this awry lol?!

I had something like this back in tertiary school. She had a boyfriend but she hang out with me. I didn't close her that time. So there was drama when we meet among friends sometimes because we in school. Probably she hated the fact that i dare to bring her out and didn't close. Anyway, during the date, she was still 50-50 about things even when she decided to meet me.

This might sound bitter but looking back at this girls, there's a certain element of hate and anger which they cannot let go off or never let go off. I don't like this kind of trait, honestly. It shows the character of that person on a much deeper level.

Zac

 

[Just_Dave]

Just_Dave,

Also, have you ever experienced a seduction gone this awry lol?!

This might sound bitter but looking back at this girls, there's a certain element of hate and anger which they cannot let go off or never let go off. I don't like this kind of trait, honestly. It shows the character of that person on a much deeper level.

Zac

Thanks for weighing in Zac and for sharing! I definitely know where you are coming from as far as that trait. People will indeed feel negatively towards someone who they feel didn't give them what they wanted. It's almost when people expectations don't meet up with reality and they fall victim to another victim mentality rant.

Another good thing is screening out those people with those kind of qualities, some do slip through the cracks like in my story, but overall those people I tend not to keep around for long.

 

[Franco]

Dave,

I showed her pictures of us that we had taken together at the party, she had forgotten about them.

I probably wouldn't have done this, but she did blow it way out of proportion, however.

Showing her pictures that you have of her with you shows her that you've been thinking about her, which is a sign that you may not have other options. It's a bit too much investment before bedding her; remember, you want to be more of a "bad boy" prior to bedding a girl, and a bad boy doesn't keep pictures of women on his phone that aren't either "nudes" or women he hasn't already taken to bed.

That being said, her direct attack on you seemed like more of a "test" than anything else, seeing as she cuddled up with you and spent the night. Although, it is possible she may have felt a bit uncomfortable later the next day when she gave it more thought.

If you wanted to push your boundaries here and test the waters, you could have replied to her text with something like the following:

"Hey Sarah, I'm sorry if those photos made you uncomfortable -- I'll delete them from my phone. However, I would ask that you please stop blowing up my phone... I have a girl over right now and she's starting to ask about you. Again, I'm sorry if this caused you any stress"

This text may or may not agitate her more, but at this point, it seems like she was trying to either separate herself from you or friendzone you. This could be a way to turn the tables on her and garner intrigue as to why you have another girl over instead of inviting her to hang out again. If she was really not interested in you, then she may just ignore this text or send a "drama-inducing" text back. You can just ignore that if she does. However, she may thank you and apologize... and then out of the blue a week later, you may hear from her again about wanting to hang out. But you'll never know unless you try!

Anyway, you did handle her accusations well, so good move not overreacting. You'll find that situations can go every which-way direction when dealing with the emotions of women!

- Franco

 

[Just_Dave]

Dave,

I showed her pictures of us that we had taken together at the party, she had forgotten about them.

I probably wouldn't have done this, but she did blow it way out of proportion, however.

Showing her pictures that you have of her with you shows her that you've been thinking about her, which is a sign that you may not have other options. It's a bit too much investment before bedding her; remember, you want to be more of a "bad boy" prior to bedding a girl, and a bad boy doesn't keep pictures of women on his phone that aren't either "nudes" or women he hasn't already taken to bed.

That being said, her direct attack on you seemed like more of a "test" than anything else, seeing as she cuddled up with you and spent the night. Although, it is possible she may have felt a bit uncomfortable later the next day when she gave it more thought.

If you wanted to push your boundaries here and test the waters, you could have replied to her text with something like the following:

"Hey Sarah, I'm sorry if those photos made you uncomfortable -- I'll delete them from my phone. However, I would ask that you please stop blowing up my phone... I have a girl over right now and she's starting to ask about you. Again, I'm sorry if this caused you any stress"

Anyway, you did handle her accusations well, so good move not overreacting. You'll find that situations can go every which-way direction when dealing with the emotions of women!

- Franco

Thanks for weighing Franco and giving advice on pictures! I do believe having pics was my ultimate downfall in this scenario, and they can be hit or miss in situations. I will be more cautious in the future.

In addressing her accusations, I just attempt to hear their concerns, address them, and move on. I believe it was a more emotional action on her part and I was aiming to give her more of a calm response. In regards to a test, I believe it to be more of the friend zone type. She had mentioned that if we were to hang out again she would prefer it in a more group setting. (In one of her novels lol) Seeing how I was only interested and eliminating as much the damage on the comfort issue, that's were I was focusing on. She already knew my intentions of getting physical prior to our meeting, so I wasn't going to blatantly apologize for that or allow myself to waste valuable time on dead end lol.

Overreacting is never good in terms of these situations via text because it puts you on the weaker side and her on the defensive. I prefer to defuse bombs and not ignite them lol. The best thing I probably did was get to her to thank me for understanding and wishing me a good end to my weekend as well. At the time that was all I could hope for lol.

Anyway, I have received good feedback from the both of you! If anyone else has anything else to add I am all ears for it.