- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 967
From Friday night last week.
The night is young, and full of opportunities. The week has been long, and extremely lady-free. I've been hosting friends for a month, my apartment becoming more and more filthy and cluttered. Yet we have to find our opportunities where they lie. For the first time in a while, I go out with my roommate to a rooftop bar in the city. He knows about approaching and wants to meet some ladies too.
In line for the bar, I make some very light small talk with two girls in front of us. One of them is a brunette, but not very attractive. The other is a Chinese-American girl in a skintight dress, revealing quite the curvy body. Soon we head inside the bar, and we lose the two girls.
I'm dressed simply, but with an edge. White T shirt on black pants with a black bead bracelet and a new ring I've bought. Something about my eyes feel primal, and sexual. I've gained a little weight from eating out, but I'm doing well with macro-momentum. We start off buying a drink, and then scouting the venue. I focus on keeping my awareness radius low. I run into an old friend here, and build some micro-social momentum. Then me and my roommate head to another part of the bar. I notice some cute girls and head there, then post up against a pillar and make conversation with my roommate.
Two seconds after I post up, a girl comes up to me and opens me herself. Not very cute, but it's a great chance to build some value and practice some converesation. I know from past experience that when a girl approaches you, you can really speed things up. So within 30 seconds, I suggest we move and sit on a couch nearby. We're then isolated from her friends, though they have an eye on her from across the table that we're sitting on. I do a little deep diving, while her friends sit next to my roommate. They aren't very interested though, and about 5 minutes later, they tell my girl that they want to leave, and drag my girl with them. She tries to get me to join, but I'm in the mood for greener pastures. I grab her number, and tell her we should try and meet later in the night once I've headed out from this bar. I send her a quick text:
She responds a little later, asking where I've headed. I don't answer, as I don't see the message for a few hours, and frankly, she just wasn't that attractive.
Enter the girl of the night. It's the Asian girl I had met in line. While I'm talking to my roommate, still on the couch, I notice the Asian girl and her friend behind us. They're having the same conversation as us, discussing how it would be like to live in a hotel room with a view over the whole bar. I loop them into our conversation, and then my roommate invites them to sit with us. I think it may have been a little too quick, but they take him up on the offer after a quick glance at each other. The one I'm interested in sits next to me, and I start talking. I don't introduce myself and eventually she asks my name.
The conversation is smooth for the most part. She's from outside the city, and doesn't visit very often. I focus on really good deep diving, and talking about her favorite things to do outside of sleeping, eating, and partying. She replies with art, and then without prompting brings up her instagram to show me some of the artwork. At this point, I put my arm over her shoulder, but resting on the chair, and not really touching her, mostly because it's a more comfortable position for me. I also contrast against the normal boring conversations people have in the city, which are superficial and unexciting, contrasting that with how we're talking, using some linking phrases to try and associate the feelings with myself.
We eventually get to talking about horoscopes, and zodiac signs. We both don't believe in them at all, but find them fun to discuss. Purely on a random guess, I guess her sign and get it right. She's quite stunned, and I give mysterious smile and don't really expand on how I came up with an answer. I ask her to guess mine, and she goes for a huge number of signs before I finally give enough hints that she gets it right. By now, I'm a little more physical, pulling her in with my arm every so often. While making her guess my sign, I tell her to look deeply in my eyes and try to read me. My voice during this conversation also feels much lower, and I'm focused on keeping my eyelids relaxed and slightly drooping, as if in a bedroom.
My roommate is stuck with the less attractive friend, and he eventually leaves, which this leaves the friend by herself. The friend discusses how she wonders if my roommate just didn't like her, as she actually did like him. Bummer. She steps away for a second to get another drink, leaving me and my girl isolated (kudos to this friend for not being a cockblock). Me and my girl talk more, getting closer to each other, basically talking directly into each other's ears. I focus on trying to navigate through the tourist gambit, and it proceeds smoothly. Eventually, I really need to use the bathroom (I have a small bladder, sadly). I tell my girl this, and she says she'll go get her friend and see why she hasn't come back with drinks. So we split.
I come back from the bathroom and don't find the girl where we parted ways. So I wander back to the spot we were sitting and see the two of them there. They are sharing a pillow on the sofa sitting together, but in an order that requires me to sit next to the friend. I do so, and make conversation with the friend. But my girl is starting to look bored, and I can see her glancing around the venue in my peripherals as I talk to the friend.
I notice across from me, is another set of sofas, this one with enough cushions for all of us to sit on. I suggest we quickly swap over to the other chair, that way I can have a more comfortable seating. The girls agree, and I (in a very sprezzatura fashion) reorder us so that I'm seated in between the two girls. At this point, I focus on 80% conversing with the girl I'm interested in, and 20% bringing the friend in to avoid any social frame issues, or the friend beginning to feel jealous and trying to pull her friend away. At this point, I have a faint feeling that I'm waiting for something. I eventually realize what it is when it happens, which is that a random guy starts talking to the friend, who had been sitting, for all intents and purposes, by herself. Great. She's now fully engrossed in conversation with this guy, so I can go back to focusing on my girl.
Eventually the friend and her boy get up to dance, and they're pretty into it. A little after they disappear into the dark, I notice a strong silence between me and my girl. She's also not making as much eye contact with me, mainly looking down as opposed to towards me. I put my fingers on her chin and pull her in for a kiss, but she rebuffs me. She's not ready, or perhaps she doesn't feel allowed? I remain unreactive, and acknowledge her limits, and easily change the subject to some other generic topic.
At this point, I realize I haven't set non-judgemental frames, and haven't really set many sexual frames either, though there are clearly many threads of sexual subcommunication going on. I talk more slowly, and start pacing her descriptions of places she wants to go, and the experiences she wants to have, using the same sensory language descriptions that she uses. She describes the feeling of the sun against her skin, so I talk about the coolness of the water while scuba diving, and the passion of living in the moment and how most people do not. I do set non-judgmental frames, though at this point, I'm not sure what exactly I said to do so. Mainly I intuitively pick the right SOTs that are appropriate for setting the right frames, and helping her get into a truly relaxed state.
Still, the venue is feeling stale, so I suggest we go somewhere else. We briefly search for the friend, and can't find her, and eventually my girl texts and realizes her friend has already left the bar. So we go, and I randomly pick a small looking bar nearby that doesn't look crowded. We hang out here for about 15-20 minutes. This time sitting more across from each other. We dance a little bit, me holding her close and talking into her ear. I follow SMMA and tell her that I really like how spontaneous of a girl she is, and that it's a rare thing to meet in the city. Then a pause.
She gives me a very shy smile, and says thank you. Then it's there, as clear as a breath on a cold day. I can only describe it as the doggy dinner bowl look. It's so sweet, and so cute, and I know that it's time to pull. Luckily I've seeded a lot of stuff in my apartment, from a very cool painting, to a drink that I bought from another city that can't be obtained in NYC. She's down, and without my prompting, chugs the rest of her drink.
We walk to my apartment. I have her take off her shoes, and she uses the bathroom while I pour some drinks. She comes out, has a sip, and I immediately go to show her the painting I have in my room. It's erotic in nature, though not in substance. So it allows me to really describe it with great verbals to talk a lot of liminal spaces and the moments of tension before it's finally released in pleasure. I also show some other trinkets of my room, each of which has been chosen to motivate me to seize the moments we have in life, and not let them go wasted. These have the same effect on the girls I bring home. While talking about one, I kiss her on the lips. A soft kiss, teasing at the prospect of more. I go back to describing some more stuff, and then eventually put her arms around my neck and lean in. I pull in for a kiss, and she pulls away ever so slightly. I pause, lock eyes with her, and raise my eyebrows, then slowly close my eyes and lean in a little, while she does the same.
It's on like a faucet. She is grabbing at me like no tomorrow, and sticking her tongue down my throat. Some minor mistakes on my part were that I should have just ripped off her dress then and there. Instead I leave it on, but pullled up to her shoulders to leave free access to her chest. I feel her pussy, and she quickly looks at me, and tells me she's on her period. I give the usual period buster, as well as the additional discussion of how I only want her to do what she feels comfortable with.
We make out, and I pull off my clothes, while I finger her really well. She's moaning a lot. I think I should have probably just pulled off her panties as well, but I left them on. Eventually we do stop, and I don't end up pushing for sex. Maybe I should have, though I have my personal reasons for not, which I do still stand by. So overall, I'm still happy how this turned out.
Eventually, I call her a cab home and make sure she gets in it.
In terms of what I did well, my intuition was on point, and I followed my gut on the major decisions and it led me to the exact right places I needed to go to. My verbals were the tightest they've been, and I was more casually sexual than before.
The one thing I would change was that I should have texted the first girl of the night (the one who approached me) after the Asian girl left. That girl really wanted me, and going forward, I should go after the easy lays like that just to get more experience and to be more comfortable with sex and to have more sex.
The night is young, and full of opportunities. The week has been long, and extremely lady-free. I've been hosting friends for a month, my apartment becoming more and more filthy and cluttered. Yet we have to find our opportunities where they lie. For the first time in a while, I go out with my roommate to a rooftop bar in the city. He knows about approaching and wants to meet some ladies too.
In line for the bar, I make some very light small talk with two girls in front of us. One of them is a brunette, but not very attractive. The other is a Chinese-American girl in a skintight dress, revealing quite the curvy body. Soon we head inside the bar, and we lose the two girls.
I'm dressed simply, but with an edge. White T shirt on black pants with a black bead bracelet and a new ring I've bought. Something about my eyes feel primal, and sexual. I've gained a little weight from eating out, but I'm doing well with macro-momentum. We start off buying a drink, and then scouting the venue. I focus on keeping my awareness radius low. I run into an old friend here, and build some micro-social momentum. Then me and my roommate head to another part of the bar. I notice some cute girls and head there, then post up against a pillar and make conversation with my roommate.
Two seconds after I post up, a girl comes up to me and opens me herself. Not very cute, but it's a great chance to build some value and practice some converesation. I know from past experience that when a girl approaches you, you can really speed things up. So within 30 seconds, I suggest we move and sit on a couch nearby. We're then isolated from her friends, though they have an eye on her from across the table that we're sitting on. I do a little deep diving, while her friends sit next to my roommate. They aren't very interested though, and about 5 minutes later, they tell my girl that they want to leave, and drag my girl with them. She tries to get me to join, but I'm in the mood for greener pastures. I grab her number, and tell her we should try and meet later in the night once I've headed out from this bar. I send her a quick text:
Me: Kvothe
She responds a little later, asking where I've headed. I don't answer, as I don't see the message for a few hours, and frankly, she just wasn't that attractive.
Enter the girl of the night. It's the Asian girl I had met in line. While I'm talking to my roommate, still on the couch, I notice the Asian girl and her friend behind us. They're having the same conversation as us, discussing how it would be like to live in a hotel room with a view over the whole bar. I loop them into our conversation, and then my roommate invites them to sit with us. I think it may have been a little too quick, but they take him up on the offer after a quick glance at each other. The one I'm interested in sits next to me, and I start talking. I don't introduce myself and eventually she asks my name.
The conversation is smooth for the most part. She's from outside the city, and doesn't visit very often. I focus on really good deep diving, and talking about her favorite things to do outside of sleeping, eating, and partying. She replies with art, and then without prompting brings up her instagram to show me some of the artwork. At this point, I put my arm over her shoulder, but resting on the chair, and not really touching her, mostly because it's a more comfortable position for me. I also contrast against the normal boring conversations people have in the city, which are superficial and unexciting, contrasting that with how we're talking, using some linking phrases to try and associate the feelings with myself.
We eventually get to talking about horoscopes, and zodiac signs. We both don't believe in them at all, but find them fun to discuss. Purely on a random guess, I guess her sign and get it right. She's quite stunned, and I give mysterious smile and don't really expand on how I came up with an answer. I ask her to guess mine, and she goes for a huge number of signs before I finally give enough hints that she gets it right. By now, I'm a little more physical, pulling her in with my arm every so often. While making her guess my sign, I tell her to look deeply in my eyes and try to read me. My voice during this conversation also feels much lower, and I'm focused on keeping my eyelids relaxed and slightly drooping, as if in a bedroom.
My roommate is stuck with the less attractive friend, and he eventually leaves, which this leaves the friend by herself. The friend discusses how she wonders if my roommate just didn't like her, as she actually did like him. Bummer. She steps away for a second to get another drink, leaving me and my girl isolated (kudos to this friend for not being a cockblock). Me and my girl talk more, getting closer to each other, basically talking directly into each other's ears. I focus on trying to navigate through the tourist gambit, and it proceeds smoothly. Eventually, I really need to use the bathroom (I have a small bladder, sadly). I tell my girl this, and she says she'll go get her friend and see why she hasn't come back with drinks. So we split.
I come back from the bathroom and don't find the girl where we parted ways. So I wander back to the spot we were sitting and see the two of them there. They are sharing a pillow on the sofa sitting together, but in an order that requires me to sit next to the friend. I do so, and make conversation with the friend. But my girl is starting to look bored, and I can see her glancing around the venue in my peripherals as I talk to the friend.
I notice across from me, is another set of sofas, this one with enough cushions for all of us to sit on. I suggest we quickly swap over to the other chair, that way I can have a more comfortable seating. The girls agree, and I (in a very sprezzatura fashion) reorder us so that I'm seated in between the two girls. At this point, I focus on 80% conversing with the girl I'm interested in, and 20% bringing the friend in to avoid any social frame issues, or the friend beginning to feel jealous and trying to pull her friend away. At this point, I have a faint feeling that I'm waiting for something. I eventually realize what it is when it happens, which is that a random guy starts talking to the friend, who had been sitting, for all intents and purposes, by herself. Great. She's now fully engrossed in conversation with this guy, so I can go back to focusing on my girl.
Eventually the friend and her boy get up to dance, and they're pretty into it. A little after they disappear into the dark, I notice a strong silence between me and my girl. She's also not making as much eye contact with me, mainly looking down as opposed to towards me. I put my fingers on her chin and pull her in for a kiss, but she rebuffs me. She's not ready, or perhaps she doesn't feel allowed? I remain unreactive, and acknowledge her limits, and easily change the subject to some other generic topic.
At this point, I realize I haven't set non-judgemental frames, and haven't really set many sexual frames either, though there are clearly many threads of sexual subcommunication going on. I talk more slowly, and start pacing her descriptions of places she wants to go, and the experiences she wants to have, using the same sensory language descriptions that she uses. She describes the feeling of the sun against her skin, so I talk about the coolness of the water while scuba diving, and the passion of living in the moment and how most people do not. I do set non-judgmental frames, though at this point, I'm not sure what exactly I said to do so. Mainly I intuitively pick the right SOTs that are appropriate for setting the right frames, and helping her get into a truly relaxed state.
Still, the venue is feeling stale, so I suggest we go somewhere else. We briefly search for the friend, and can't find her, and eventually my girl texts and realizes her friend has already left the bar. So we go, and I randomly pick a small looking bar nearby that doesn't look crowded. We hang out here for about 15-20 minutes. This time sitting more across from each other. We dance a little bit, me holding her close and talking into her ear. I follow SMMA and tell her that I really like how spontaneous of a girl she is, and that it's a rare thing to meet in the city. Then a pause.
She gives me a very shy smile, and says thank you. Then it's there, as clear as a breath on a cold day. I can only describe it as the doggy dinner bowl look. It's so sweet, and so cute, and I know that it's time to pull. Luckily I've seeded a lot of stuff in my apartment, from a very cool painting, to a drink that I bought from another city that can't be obtained in NYC. She's down, and without my prompting, chugs the rest of her drink.
We walk to my apartment. I have her take off her shoes, and she uses the bathroom while I pour some drinks. She comes out, has a sip, and I immediately go to show her the painting I have in my room. It's erotic in nature, though not in substance. So it allows me to really describe it with great verbals to talk a lot of liminal spaces and the moments of tension before it's finally released in pleasure. I also show some other trinkets of my room, each of which has been chosen to motivate me to seize the moments we have in life, and not let them go wasted. These have the same effect on the girls I bring home. While talking about one, I kiss her on the lips. A soft kiss, teasing at the prospect of more. I go back to describing some more stuff, and then eventually put her arms around my neck and lean in. I pull in for a kiss, and she pulls away ever so slightly. I pause, lock eyes with her, and raise my eyebrows, then slowly close my eyes and lean in a little, while she does the same.
It's on like a faucet. She is grabbing at me like no tomorrow, and sticking her tongue down my throat. Some minor mistakes on my part were that I should have just ripped off her dress then and there. Instead I leave it on, but pullled up to her shoulders to leave free access to her chest. I feel her pussy, and she quickly looks at me, and tells me she's on her period. I give the usual period buster, as well as the additional discussion of how I only want her to do what she feels comfortable with.
We make out, and I pull off my clothes, while I finger her really well. She's moaning a lot. I think I should have probably just pulled off her panties as well, but I left them on. Eventually we do stop, and I don't end up pushing for sex. Maybe I should have, though I have my personal reasons for not, which I do still stand by. So overall, I'm still happy how this turned out.
Eventually, I call her a cab home and make sure she gets in it.
In terms of what I did well, my intuition was on point, and I followed my gut on the major decisions and it led me to the exact right places I needed to go to. My verbals were the tightest they've been, and I was more casually sexual than before.
The one thing I would change was that I should have texted the first girl of the night (the one who approached me) after the Asian girl left. That girl really wanted me, and going forward, I should go after the easy lays like that just to get more experience and to be more comfortable with sex and to have more sex.
