Coffee as friends

[HHjj]

What do girls mean when they say that we can have coffee as friends after I get their number?
This is kind of happening frequently when I meet a girl in the super market or somewhere, I say her hair is pretty or whatever and we chat a bit and I get her number. When I text her after, she goes like I am not looking for a relationship, we can have coffee as friends. What does this mean and how I should react? Can I still go meet her and do the normal first date stuff, but a bit passively?

 

[Alpha13SC]

I would suggest don't take it at face value. Just go to date and see how it goes, maybe focus more on generating attraction and emotional arouse.

I m interested in how others feel about this matter.

 

[Regal Tiger]

It generally means that she's not all that interested in anything happening. Sexually or romantically

I personally never go anymore and I would suggest on upping your fundamentals

But great job on approaching! Not enough guys are doing it

 

[Rakehell]

Sounds like she’s trying to set the frame of you two being platonic. She believes your value compared to hers is murky (in her eyes) and she wants to see if you’ll agree.

You can say something like “We can get coffee but I can’t promise it’ll be as friends” but if she’s not into you at all this won’t help.

Maybe try showing a little less interest so girl’s don’t try and take the frame. What I mean by this is when girls feel as though you’re more into them than they are you, they’ll try to make demands and set the terms of you guy’s relationship.

 

[Glow]

ive had 1 mio girls tell me - i never thought i would be w a guy like you - during pillow talk.

If you let her decide the frame of things you are basically reactive to her setting the frame

1) Ignore what she says, or better - adapt to it as it gives you a cue to where she is right now that you wanna covertly accept. A key is to be cool headed as a seducer.
2) Go seduce her

For those of us who knows more all we need is a window of time and we can in many cases seduce her. So go train seduction with her, flip her.

The "shes not into you" is changeable. Especially if its just based on an early-stage short interaction.

 

[Tim Iron]

Act like she didn't say that and go for what you want.

 

[Derek da man]

Sounds like she's not made her mind up about you, if she's agreeing to a meet then there's an opportunity. If she was red she would simply decline or ghost you, if she was green she would have just agreed, therefore my conclusion is she's amber and not decided.

Get her out on a coffee date but have a plan which would enable you to seduce - ie be near yours or hers. Coffee doesn't have to be at 11am, it could be 4.30pm, or 7pm. Much later and it becomes drinks and she would perceive as it being a date and resist the frame change.

The "shes not into you" is HIGHLY changeable

Agree, this will change fairly quickly once the date starts and could go either way. Therefore, as previous, check your fundamentals, and increase your value (social and personal - not financial). If you don't feel you are making progress end the date - nicely and friendly, but don't waste your time with her. Remember YOU are the prize giving her a date, not the other way around. Often when she sees that you are prepared to walk she will change her frame considerable which will enable you to escalate and move forward. If she doesn't, you've not lost anything and just saved yourself some time.

 

[Rain]

ive had 1 mio

Hi,
I've not heard that before what does it mean?

 

[RedNeck]

ive had 1 mio girls tell me - i never thought i would be w a guy like you - during pillow talk!

If you let her decide the frame of things you are basically reactive to her setting the frame

1) Ignore what she says, or better - Adapt to it as it gives you a cue to where she is right now that you wanna covertly accept.
2) Go seduce her

For those of us who knows more all we need is a window of time and we know we can in many cases seduce her. So go train seduction with her to flip her.

The "shes not into you" is changeable. Especially if its just based on an early-stage short interaction.

Great advice … what I hate about the community in general is the lack of challenge. Where I am originally from , girls play so hard to get . I am used to burn all the leads to the ground

 

[POB]

Just say: "Great, but I only drink my coffee after some wild, loud, passionate "best of my life" date...and don't forget to bring your sexiest version (one fire emoji, if you are texting)". Wait for her reply.
If she's fine, you gained momentum.
If not, you didn't waste your time on a useless date.

Side note: if you are getting a lot of that after the first interaction, maybe you need to correct something on your texting (probably trying to hard close too soon without checking temperature first)

 

[think]

What do girls mean when they say that we can have coffee as friends after I get their number?

it's a power dynamic gambit. she's forcing her frame on you, "let's be friends". the answer if you exude sexiness is something like "yeah, let's". if you don't exude sexiness then you are just agreeing to her terms, you say it with a smirk.

we can have coffee as friends

it's fun to use these lines on women. "do you want to be friends?" you say, and her not having been ever asked that by a man she immediately says "no" in a frazzled reply

 

[metalbird]

I love when girls just want to be friends. Every time a girl tells me this, I smile, because I know I've hit the jackpot.

I just say, "Great, you can be my wing-woman when we go out." They always think I'm joking. Then I go out with them, treat them--very genuinely--as a friend, and get a dozen phone numbers right in front of them. It's much easier to get women interested when you're out a with a woman who you can introduce as your platonic friend (lmao). Plus, the next time you hang out with your friend, they'll try so hard to get in bed with you it's hilarious.

Honestly hearing this phrase from a girl is like an automatic +5 to your lay count.

 

[Sensation]

Her attraction for you isn't particularly high, but that could change if you run some attraction game on her. Use her for practice. How do you know if it's working? See if she'll comply to you. Remember, she's trying to friendzone you, so don't be as nice to her as you would be with an existing lover. It's her fault that you're no more than friends, so don't feel bad about giving her some attitude. She'll be fine with it as long as you are not too much of a dick.