Cold Approach Question - How to Be 'Sticky'?

[Regal Tiger]

Don't mean to spam but this is something that I was thinking about along with the other thread I just posted about (which is more for people who are trying to figure out the mindset that they need).


I don't have any problems approaching women, I can carry a conversation most of the time and I get numbers fairly easy and people are happy to talk to me. There are a few adjustments that I've been making that lead me to believe that I'm on the right track.


But how do you make a bigger impression? How do you make such a solid impact in a girls mind that she absolutely has to see you again? I remember Chase called this being 'sticky' but I don't remember where. I'm curious to see what I'm missing, or even if something that I'm doing just needs a tweak.

Right now I don't think I'm very sticky at all and I've switched up my texting strategy to hopefully counteract this a little bit. So yeah, I'd love your perspectives

 

[Kaida]

If it helps at all, Chase mentioned being “sticky” in his article on deep diving

Secrets to Getting Girls: The Art of the Deep Dive

One of the pillars of Chase Amante's approach toward women, deep diving is the foundation for creating deep, meaningful connections with women quickly into meeting them. Building rapport – and building a connection – is one of those things I consider myself pretty talented as a conversationalist...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Regal Tiger]

If it helps at all, Chase mentioned being “sticky” in his article on deep diving

Secrets to Getting Girls: The Art of the Deep Dive

One of the pillars of Chase Amante's approach toward women, deep diving is the foundation for creating deep, meaningful connections with women quickly into meeting them. Building rapport – and building a connection – is one of those things I consider myself pretty talented as a conversationalist...

www.girlschase.com

Ah thank ya, that was probably where I heard it

But since I deep dive too much already I was hoping to hear other ways to do it. Though I have managed to scale back on it in favor of other things. So hopefully that's all I needed. But we shall see

 

[ulrich]

I don’t think this is something that you really can or should be trying to control.

It’s going to boil down to the girl personality and her needs in any specific moment (you’re more likely to be sticky if she is not seeing anyone else).

When I was younger I used to think a lot about this until I realized that the stickiest guys I know where putting A LOT of work in their girls behind everyone’s gaze (sending daily messages, inviting every girl they know to every party they go, pinging old flings, etc…)

There’s a saavy and a non-saavy way to do this kind of follow up… but it is work, nevertheless.

 

[Regal Tiger]

I don’t think this is something that you really can or should be trying to control.

It’s going to boil down to the girl personality and her needs in any specific moment (you’re more likely to be sticky if she is not seeing anyone else).

When I was younger I used to think a lot about this until I realized that the stickiest guys I know where putting A LOT of work in their girls behind everyone’s gaze (sending daily messages, inviting every girl they know to every party they go, pinging old flings, etc…)

There’s a saavy and a non-saavy way to do this kind of follow up… but it is work, nevertheless.

I was afraid of something like this lmao

 

[HumanWhoLearns]

I went on a boot camp earlier this year and the teacher (who is very good) said that you stand out by being different ie attractive fundamentals, manner of speech (not getting stuck on nice guy talk for example).

Like Ulrich said it also depends on the girl and where she's at. If she views you as more attractive than the guys she's seeing now or saw in the past, she will be quite drawn to you. I also think things you can't control like similarity also have a big effect on attraction.

 

[Regal Tiger]

So basically luck lol


Is honestly what it's sounding like. Kinda sad to hear to tell ya the truth. I have shit tier luck boys

 

[ulrich]

So basically luck lol


Is honestly what it's sounding like. Kinda sad to hear to tell ya the truth. I have shit tier luck boys

No, not luck. Follow up.

You can’t control how chasey a girl is but you can flirt with 10 girls and follow up with all of them… 3 or 4 are going to bite.

 

[Regal Tiger]

No, not luck. Follow up.

You can’t control how chasey a girl is but you can flirt with 10 girls and follow up with all of them… 3 or 4 are going to bite.

I'm not sure how to come across savvy with sending daily messages though. The thought alone kinda makes me cringe

I mean, when I don't get replies ill try a follow up every once in a while but it's definitely not daily lol

 

[app13]

it is luck

approaching is a numbers game. your game should be top tier, however, you can't control the reactions you get. so trying to be "sticky" is pointless. all it will do is drive you crazy and cause you to do unnecessary things that will really turn off some girls and maybe even get cops called on you lol

my suggestion is to continue approaching and calibrating after you open. you should be sufficiently looks maxed. at that point, you're maximizing your chances

 

[Chase]

It's not luck. Not entirely, though you never get rid of the luck element completely.

The kind of stickiness I was talking up is also not follow-up-based (though good follow-up is the companion to a sticky first impression); it is the impression you are making that makes you stick in her mind as an intriguing man she would like to know more.

There are actually various ways you can cultivate stickiness:

• Have some kind of notable characteristic that is very memorable to her (e.g., guy she meets who has exactly the career she wants, but 3 levels higher than her in the hierarchy... guy she meets who travels a lot, which is something she really wants to do... guy she meets who is an artist, which is something she has always wanted to be... etc.)
  
  
• Have a memorable, OUTSIZE personality... it doesn't have to be dramatic, but it does need to stand out in an attractive, charismatic way. There's a lot of personal cultivation that goes into it, but the more memorable and unique your personality, the more you really stick in girls heads and intrigue them into wanting to meet you again later
  
  
• Open loops, intrigue you build, different interesting concepts you seed in the initial conversation... e.g., she meets you and you mention being new in town but getting up to speed fast with a friend who throws some of the best parties in town... then you mention how you used to teach dance and are checking out the dance spots in town to see where you'd like to land as a future instructor... how long have you been in town? Where'd you come from? How'd you meet these friends? What sort of parties are they? When's the next one? What kind of dance do you do? How long did you teach it? What studios have you checked out and what's that like? All these things communicate status, ability, stuff going on in your life, and are just generally interesting to women. If they're getting little snippets like this during the initial conversation, there's a lot more for them to grasp onto later that may make them want to meet back up with you
  
  
• Recognizing things about her that few people do: cold reads, genuine compliments on unique qualities of hers, etc. The better you get at these the more you create that "Wow, how did he know that?" feeling in women, and the stickier you get
  
  
• Getting her to quickly open up about something or other in her life -- not very deep, not a lot, but a good quick snippet, which you quickly relate to, so right away she feels like she's met a kindred spirit

Combine multiple of these, as many as you can, and jam them into your first impression, and you become very sticky for a lot of the women you meet.

A strong, sticky first impression is a bit of an art form. But once you have it down you have this very compelling portrait of a man you present, almost incidentally, that leaves her thinking, "Wow, that guy was really compelling. I wonder about this... I wonder about that... I wonder about the other thing... oh look! He just texted! He wants to meet up... hmmm!"

Chase

 

[Regal Tiger]

It's not luck. Not entirely, though you never get rid of the luck element completely.

The kind of stickiness I was talking up is also not follow-up-based (though good follow-up is the companion to a sticky first impression); it is the impression you are making that makes you stick in her mind as an intriguing man she would like to know more.

There are actually various ways you can cultivate stickiness:

• Have some kind of notable characteristic that is very memorable to her (e.g., guy she meets who has exactly the career she wants, but 3 levels higher than her in the hierarchy... guy she meets who travels a lot, which is something she really wants to do... guy she meets who is an artist, which is something she has always wanted to be... etc.)
  
  
• Have a memorable, OUTSIZE personality... it doesn't have to be dramatic, but it does need to stand out in an attractive, charismatic way. There's a lot of personal cultivation that goes into it, but the more memorable and unique your personality, the more you really stick in girls heads and intrigue them into wanting to meet you again later
  
  
• Open loops, intrigue you build, different interesting concepts you seed in the initial conversation... e.g., she meets you and you mention being new in town but getting up to speed fast with a friend who throws some of the best parties in town... then you mention how you used to teach dance and are checking out the dance spots in town to see where you'd like to land as a future instructor... how long have you been in town? Where'd you come from? How'd you meet these friends? What sort of parties are they? When's the next one? What kind of dance do you do? How long did you teach it? What studios have you checked out and what's that like? All these things communicate status, ability, stuff going on in your life, and are just generally interesting to women. If they're getting little snippets like this during the initial conversation, there's a lot more for them to grasp onto later that may make them want to meet back up with you
  
  
• Recognizing things about her that few people do: cold reads, genuine compliments on unique qualities of hers, etc. The better you get at these the more you create that "Wow, how did he know that?" feeling in women, and the stickier you get
  
  
• Getting her to quickly open up about something or other in her life -- not very deep, not a lot, but a good quick snippet, which you quickly relate to, so right away she feels like she's met a kindred spirit

Combine multiple of these, as many as you can, and jam them into your first impression, and you become very sticky for a lot of the women you meet.

A strong, sticky first impression is a bit of an art form. But once you have it down you have this very compelling portrait of a man you present, almost incidentally, that leaves her thinking, "Wow, that guy was really compelling. I wonder about this... I wonder about that... I wonder about the other thing... oh look! He just texted! He wants to meet up... hmmm!"

Chase

Sounds like a combination of status and connection. Or even just rareness. As far as the open loops sounds like the Ziegarnik Effect in action, neat!


I have been bringing up more creative stuff with women since that creativity article came out. Which means I do bring up I used to teach ballroom and swing

As for cold reads, I never thought to do that (other than as an outlandish joke about my psychic powers I like to make). But I bet I could do stuff like that

Which reminds me; what do you think about the P.T. Barnum Effect? Basically why horror scopes and astrology stuff work so well. Same with psychics

Tell people about themselves, keep it somewhat vague and their mind will fill in the details to make it correct. Same thing happens when you hypnotize people too!

I'll try to adjust and see what happens, thanks!

 

[Lobo]

One way ive done this was with my first cold approach lay.

The interaction was ok, deep dives with a hint of sexual vibe.

But i think what really made an impact was how i closed with the number grab

I dialed up the vibe to a 10 and basically tried to melt her with sizzling tension as I used very deliberate pauses and created a liminal bubble where she was basically locked in a trance observing my every move.

I don't have hard evidence that this was directly responsible for the lay, but i do know that it was the last memory/perception of me before i moved to text game

From my journal

I tell her. "Wait… before you go…(the longest pause imaginable and juicy eye contact as I do this)... how about we grab something sometime… and continue this conversation(DEEP EYE CONTACT)

I was also touching her tattoos prior to number grab, and sliding her shirt almost as if i was already undressing her.

All of this just built up tension, but didn't release it, so im thinking it left some "unfinished business" on the table.

Granted, when i did meet up with her, i still had a lot of work to do to secure the lay, but texting felt very solid in terms of her compliance
This one

 

[Chase]

@Regal Tiger,

Sounds like a combination of status and connection. Or even just rareness. As far as the open loops sounds like the Ziegarnik Effect in action, neat!

I wasn't familiar with that term, but yes. At least for me, there is a lot of introducing intriguing concepts, then interrupting them with an observation, or an "Oh right, we were talking about that other thing" or some other cut-off. So she is never able to satisfy her curiosity about whatever the item is.

More on that here:

Tactics Tuesdays: Open Loops

An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too. An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic. For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible...

www.girlschase.com

I have been bringing up more creative stuff with women since that creativity article came out. Which means I do bring up I used to teach ballroom and swing

Great! The art is in bringing it up naturally, without it seem like a boast / obvious DHV.

Almost like she just pulled it out of you...

As for cold reads, I never thought to do that (other than as an outlandish joke about my psychic powers I like to make). But I bet I could do stuff like that

Which reminds me; what do you think about the P.T. Barnum Effect? Basically why horror scopes and astrology stuff work so well. Same with psychics

Tell people about themselves, keep it somewhat vague and their mind will fill in the details to make it correct. Same thing happens when you hypnotize people too!

Cold reads are very powerful.

Some of them are Barnum statements. Though some of them will be genuine observations you'll make, especially if you train up your observation muscle by making predictions:

Want to Get Good? Make Predictions in Your Head

You can learn to read women's signals far more reliably, and shorten your seduction learning curve, if you first learn a simple little trick: how to predict with accuracy. At the carnival, there is often a man (called, like all carnival workers, a 'carny') who will offer to guess your weight or...

www.girlschase.com

However, people are generally more inclined to agree with you if you frame whatever the cold read is as a positive thing. Positive + authoritative = higher likelihood she agrees, even if the read isn't dead-on. So there is some Barnum effect happening even with more specific reads if your delivery is on-point:

You: You're totally a student at KCU, aren't you?​

​

Her: Actually, I was, but I graduated last year.​

​

You: Yeah, see, I thought so. What'd you major in? Let me guess, business.​

​

Her: Yeah, I studied marketing!​

​

You: And now you work a soulless marketing job you already hate.​

​

Her: Well, I wouldn't say hate, but... haha... yeah.​

That's a straight cold read / Barnum statement sequence there:

• Guessed she was a KCU student
• She's already graduated, but you framed it as if you read it right anyway ("I thought so")
• Guessed she studied business... which is a smart guess if you met her at a happy hour in business attire or on the street in business attire. Business is also a broad, large field, encompassing a range of majors; there are a lot of different fields that fall under it
• She says marketing, and you're right again
• Then you cold read her as now working for a soulless corporation she hates... since that is the situation the majority of business graduates find themselves in

It's just a series of guesses that are more likely than not to be right because they will be true for the majority of folks who match her description.

Even though you were wrong, and she's not a student, by the end of it she still ends up feeling like you're a pretty perceptive guy, and is more intrigued by that alone.

Combine it with some other intriguing / sticky elements and you've got a good chance to meet back up with her later.

I'll try to adjust and see what happens, thanks!

Keep swingin' at it -- you'll crack it!

Chase

 

[Regal Tiger]

One way ive done this was with my first cold approach lay.

The interaction was ok, deep dives with a hint of sexual vibe.

But i think what really made an impact was how i closed with the number grab

I dialed up the vibe to a 10 and basically tried to melt her with sizzling tension as I used very deliberate pauses and created a liminal bubble where she was basically locked in a trance observing my every move.

I don't have hard evidence that this was directly responsible for the lay, but i do know that it was the last memory/perception of me before i moved to text game

From my journal

I was also touching her tattoos prior to number grab, and sliding her shirt almost as if i was already undressing her.

All of this just built up tension, but didn't release it, so im thinking it left some "unfinished business" on the table.

Granted, when i did meet up with her, i still had a lot of work to do to secure the lay, but texting felt very solid in terms of her compliance
This one

This is another thing I've not thought of, I'll have to add it into my routine! Thanks!

It does make a lot of sense

 

[Regal Tiger]

@Regal Tiger,



I wasn't familiar with that term, but yes. At least for me, there is a lot of introducing intriguing concepts, then interrupting them with an observation, or an "Oh right, we were talking about that other thing" or some other cut-off. So she is never able to satisfy her curiosity about whatever the item is.

More on that here:

Tactics Tuesdays: Open Loops

An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too. An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic. For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible...

www.girlschase.com

Great! The art is in bringing it up naturally, without it seem like a boast / obvious DHV.

I usually wait until the "what about you what do you" part. But other than that, I'm honestly not sure how to bring these up. I suppose I could try to guide it along with possible cold reads about being creative (I also remember an article a long time ago about how to help her go through one of your own hoops if she doesn't measure up I could possibly use)

Or even try to just talk about creativity in general and go from there... think this makes more sense just by thinking about it, may try it


"I find I usually connect really well with creative people the best, there's just something amazing about being able to share that part of yourself with someone else"... *pause to see what she'll do/say*

*if required, be a little more blatant by asking her what kinds of creative stuff she does*

Almost like she just pulled it out of you...



Cold reads are very powerful.

Some of them are Barnum statements. Though some of them will be genuine observations you'll make, especially if you train up your observation muscle by making predictions:

Want to Get Good? Make Predictions in Your Head

You can learn to read women's signals far more reliably, and shorten your seduction learning curve, if you first learn a simple little trick: how to predict with accuracy. At the carnival, there is often a man (called, like all carnival workers, a 'carny') who will offer to guess your weight or...

www.girlschase.com

However, people are generally more inclined to agree with you if you frame whatever the cold read is as a positive thing. Positive + authoritative = higher likelihood she agrees, even if the read isn't dead-on. So there is some Barnum effect happening even with more specific reads if your delivery is on-point:

You: You're totally a student at KCU, aren't you?​

​

Her: Actually, I was, but I graduated last year.​

​

You: Yeah, see, I thought so. What'd you major in? Let me guess, business.​

​

Her: Yeah, I studied marketing!​

​

You: And now you work a soulless marketing job you already hate.​

​

Her: Well, I wouldn't say hate, but... haha... yeah.​

That's a straight cold read / Barnum statement sequence there:

• Guessed she was a KCU student
• She's already graduated, but you framed it as if you read it right anyway ("I thought so")
• Guessed she studied business... which is a smart guess if you met her at a happy hour in business attire or on the street in business attire. Business is also a broad, large field, encompassing a range of majors; there are a lot of different fields that fall under it
• She says marketing, and you're right again
• Then you cold read her as now working for a soulless corporation she hates... since that is the situation the majority of business graduates find themselves in

It's just a series of guesses that are more likely than not to be right because they will be true for the majority of folks who match her description.

Even though you were wrong, and she's not a student, by the end of it she still ends up feeling like you're a pretty perceptive guy, and is more intrigued by that alone.

Combine it with some other intriguing / sticky elements and you've got a good chance to meet back up with her later.

Nice!

Keep swingin' at it -- you'll crack it!

Chase

I'm trying... but I won't lie I'm getting extremely frustrated again lol

 

[Chase]

I usually wait until the "what about you what do you" part. But other than that, I'm honestly not sure how to bring these up. I suppose I could try to guide it along with possible cold reads about being creative (I also remember an article a long time ago about how to help her go through one of your own hoops if she doesn't measure up I could possibly use)

Or even try to just talk about creativity in general and go from there... think this makes more sense just by thinking about it, may try it

Unless you're an actual dance instructor, "I'm a dancer" feels a bit forced as an answer to "what do you do" to me.

I think the way I'd want to get it in there is asking her "What do you do for fun around here?" and getting her talking about that.

Then when she asks back, begin with the baiting: "Oh, I'm a dancer." Wait for her reaction: "Really?" You: "Yeah, I love it." Her: "What kind of dance?" You: "Well you know I used to teach ballroom and swing dance. I kind of got away from it but recently I've been getting back, shaking off the old rust, and remembering why I love it. Do you ever dance?"

if she's biting, I would have to imagine it'd be a great date offer to throw her way:

(she's excited) --> You: "You know, you seem pretty fun. I'm always looking for a cool new dance partner. How'd you feel about coming out with me one of these nights? I used to get paid $NNN for these lessons but I'll give you one for free just because I think it'd be cool to go for a dance with you. What do you say?"

You could really build a whole routine out of this.

"I find I usually connect really well with creative people the best, there's just something amazing about being able to share that part of yourself with someone else"... *pause to see what she'll do/say*

*if required, be a little more blatant by asking her what kinds of creative stuff she does*

I'd think you'd fair better with "sportive", "active", etc., if the goal is to get to dancing.

So I'd take those two routes, personally:

• What do you do for fun?
• What do you do that's active?

As soon as she asks you back yourself and you drop that bait "Oh, I'm a dancer", it should be pretty predictable from there.

I'm trying... but I won't lie I'm getting extremely frustrated again lol

I understand.

Well, try fleshing out the "Oh, I'm a dancer" baiting --> invitation routine, I think something like that could work well for you.

Make sure she understands you want to dance with her because you're "always looking for a cool new dance partner" and she "seems like she'd be really fun" or cool or whatever, then attach the monetary value for it ("I used to get paid $XXX per lesson when I was teaching") then stress that she'll be getting it free just because you think it'd be cool to take her out for a dance.

Then you're tripping a bunch of switches there:

• Generosity
• Reciprocity
• Authority figure (teacher)
• High value
• Offering something of monetary value for free
• Unique experience (personal dancing lesson from a professional teacher)

Try that routine out 20 times. I'd be interested to see how it performs.

One other thing I'd say is... are you doing anything else to supplement cold approach?

I know you're back at dancing again.

Might be worth delving into social circle a little there too, so you aren't feeling as isolated.

Who knows, you might end up shagging a few social circle hunnies in the process

Chase

 

[Regal Tiger]

Unless you're an actual dance instructor, "I'm a dancer" feels a bit forced as an answer to "what do you do" to me.

Makes sense, the goal was to introduce hobbies and I always like to use the phrase "I'm a bit of a hobby junkie" because I enjoy doing so much haha. So I would say different things that I enjoy doing "I like exploring new places, photography, used to teach ballroom, etc."

I think the way I'd want to get it in there is asking her "What do you do for fun around here?" and getting her talking about that.

Then when she asks back, begin with the baiting: "Oh, I'm a dancer." Wait for her reaction: "Really?" You: "Yeah, I love it." Her: "What kind of dance?" You: "Well you know I used to teach ballroom and swing dance. I kind of got away from it but recently I've been getting back, shaking off the old rust, and remembering why I love it. Do you ever dance?"

if she's biting, I would have to imagine it'd be a great date offer to throw her way:

(she's excited) --> You: "You know, you seem pretty fun. I'm always looking for a cool new dance partner. How'd you feel about coming out with me one of these nights? I used to get paid $NNN for these lessons but I'll give you one for free just because I think it'd be cool to go for a dance with you. What do you say?"

You could really build a whole routine out of this.

I'll give it a shot!

I'd think you'd fair better with "sportive", "active", etc., if the goal is to get to dancing.

So I'd take those two routes, personally:

• What do you do for fun?
• What do you do that's active?

As soon as she asks you back yourself and you drop that bait "Oh, I'm a dancer", it should be pretty predictable from there.



I understand.

Well, try fleshing out the "Oh, I'm a dancer" baiting --> invitation routine, I think something like that could work well for you.

Make sure she understands you want to dance with her because you're "always looking for a cool new dance partner" and she "seems like she'd be really fun" or cool or whatever, then attach the monetary value for it ("I used to get paid $XXX per lesson when I was teaching") then stress that she'll be getting it free just because you think it'd be cool to take her out for a dance.

Then you're tripping a bunch of switches there:

• Generosity
• Reciprocity
• Authority figure (teacher)
• High value
• Offering something of monetary value for free
• Unique experience (personal dancing lesson from a professional teacher)

Try that routine out 20 times. I'd be interested to see how it performs.

Makes a lot sense, I'll give it a try! Thank ya

One other thing I'd say is... are you doing anything else to supplement cold approach?

Sadly not :/

I know you're back at dancing again.

Might be worth delving into social circle a little there too, so you aren't feeling as isolated.

Who knows, you might end up shagging a few social circle hunnies in the process

Chase

I gave this one place a try but they only have events for east coast swing once a month (the layout isn't good for picking up, so I went for one when I shoulda went for a different one). I went to their class once but the class didn't have anyone, plus I don't really want to pay 15 dollars a class to teach other people... Even though I didn't let anyone know this because it'd be rude, I felt offended lol. I gotta pay to teach other people and there aren't any hunnies here either? -.-


But! In September there's some kinda show they're going to start doing stuff for. I've been invited and I'm looking forward to that. Once I know for sure that this next job I got offered isn't gonna up and blow me off like the last one, and I've secured an income again, I plan on venturing out to other dancing areas. I've wanted to get more involved in Bachata and West Coast Swing (I'm extremely familiar in East Coast but not as much West). However I wouldn't have the authority in those spaces because I'd be a beginner in Bachata and maaaaaaaaaaybe intermediate in West Coast. Which is fine, just wouldn't be going for the women for a while lol


Edit: makes me miss Nashville even more. There was a place that couldn't have been more perfect. East Coast Swing, lots of people rotating in and out within the weekly event. They turned the lights low in the dance area and had a separate drinking area that wasn't chaperoned. Damn I miss it...

 

[Chase]

I would just say:

I gave this one place a try but they only have events for east coast swing once a month (the layout isn't good for picking up, so I went for one when I shoulda went for a different one). I went to their class once but the class didn't have anyone, plus I don't really want to pay 15 dollars a class to teach other people... Even though I didn't let anyone know this because it'd be rude, I felt offended lol. I gotta pay to teach other people and there aren't any hunnies here either? -.-


But! In September there's some kinda show they're going to start doing stuff for. I've been invited and I'm looking forward to that. Once I know for sure that this next job I got offered isn't gonna up and blow me off like the last one, and I've secured an income again, I plan on venturing out to other dancing areas. I've wanted to get more involved in Bachata and West Coast Swing (I'm extremely familiar in East Coast but not as much West). However I wouldn't have the authority in those spaces because I'd be a beginner in Bachata and maaaaaaaaaaybe intermediate in West Coast. Which is fine, just wouldn't be going for the women for a while lol


Edit: makes me miss Nashville even more. There was a place that couldn't have been more perfect. East Coast Swing, lots of people rotating in and out within the weekly event. They turned the lights low in the dance area and had a separate drinking area that wasn't chaperoned. Damn I miss it...

Are there other things you can do to socialize, aside from dance circles?

When I'm out to do a lot of socializing and build up a network in a new area, I just talk to everyone I can until I meet enough cool people, make enough good impressions, start getting invited to things, and circles start expanding out from there.

Often it's slow going where for a few weeks you feel like a bit of a lone-wolf loser talking to people who already have their circles established. But people take a liking to you, start taking you under their wing, introducing you to their circles, and before you know it you have these burgeoning new bands of friendship.

With you and the frustration you seem to be dealing with right now, building up a network of real world friends is probably the single healthiest thing you can do for yourself. It also gives you another social objective aside from "pick up girls" that you can simultaneously pursue and also be getting wins from that bolster your sense of "stuff I am doing socially is working."

Chase

 

[Regal Tiger]

I would just say:



Are there other things you can do to socialize, aside from dance circles?

When I'm out to do a lot of socializing and build up a network in a new area, I just talk to everyone I can until I meet enough cool people, make enough good impressions, start getting invited to things, and circles start expanding out from there.

Often it's slow going where for a few weeks you feel like a bit of a lone-wolf loser talking to people who already have their circles established. But people take a liking to you, start taking you under their wing, introducing you to their circles, and before you know it you have these burgeoning new bands of friendship.

With you and the frustration you seem to be dealing with right now, building up a network of real world friends is probably the single healthiest thing you can do for yourself. It also gives you another social objective aside from "pick up girls" that you can simultaneously pursue and also be getting wins from that bolster your sense of "stuff I am doing socially is working."

Chase

That makes sense

After I get my income secured (start on Monday) I was going to look into some sports leagues. Other than that and dancing I could look into other avenues