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Coming across too much as a player

Lovelifelivefree

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Feb 26, 2017
Messages
5
I've recently got this new pattern that is pissing me off. I actually didn't realize this till one girl actually said to me that i'm a player.
Funny enough even though it was a shit test i kind of recalled a whole heap of interactions where I opened on approach invitation, and it was going well but suddenly she lost interest with a low smiley face. Some just turned or walked off.
Usually the timing was when i responded back to her interest in me or said something witty. This didn't make any sense to me as I felt we both seem to like each other, shes okay with my touching and its going in a direction. I first felt maybe its just me giving it too easy which may be in some case but what if i'm coming across as a player.

From my own judgement I think i'm above average - look good,14% body fat, in shape, have a designer haircut and wear fashionable and stylish clothes.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be nice or am I just thinking too much and its a problem somewhere else.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
You need to know what you want, that is your frame. You then project the frame onto the girls. Most Girls are sensitive, they can feel your frame, and the'll either accept it or leave it...

If you want to sleep with lots of women, well, focus on lots of different women and stop carrying about one particular girl too much. Those girls that are fine with your frame will stay, those who are not interested will leave. That is generally player's frame, he sleeps with bunch of women but doesn't get tied down to relationship with one girl. Usually a girl that is looking for a fling is ok with that (she might even be in serious relationship). A girl that is looking for more serious relationship and is worry about slut shaming will leave.

Similarly, if you are looking rather for relationship, you should focus on lesser number of women, preferably give more attention to the one you are seeing without being too obvious that you are into her. You can keep some girls on back burner but rather don't pay too much attention to them. In other words, you should not make it seem that you want to date one particular girl while flirting with and hitting on bunch of other girls around. You want to make it seem that other girls really like you and they want to be with you but you are ignoring them (in romantic sense) because you want to be with that one particular girl only... that is a good frame for relationship.

Women talk between each other, they talk about you, they know you are flirting with other girls and/or you are sleeping with them. A girl that is looking for more serious relationship doesn't want to be with guy who is constantly after other girls... she will simply leave, she'll dump you...

------

Many times guys want it all. They want to sleep with many girls and at the same time have amazing and exclusive relationship with one. It usually doesn't work that way. Chose your frame wisely, because if you are looking for more serious relationship while projecting fuck boy frame, it might cost you that amazing girl you really want to be with....

Remember, girls are usually smart, smarter than guys in this area. She knows, she can feel it, she can sense it, she can hear it from other girls...
 

mindful

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 16, 2014
Messages
256
Drck said:
Chose your frame wisely, because if you are looking for more serious relationship while projecting fuck boy frame, it might cost you that amazing girl you really want to be with....


Really like what you said here. I have fell victim to this before where I was trying to get with a girl on the first date and she was looking for something more long term. I actually would have liked to pursuit her longer than just a ONS but once girls think you only want their puss it's hard to change that frame.
 

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,819
mindful said:
Really like what you said here. I have fell victim to this before where I was trying to get with a girl on the first date and she was looking for something more long term. I actually would have liked to pursuit her longer than just a ONS but once girls think you only want their puss it's hard to change that frame.

Well,

A girl shouldn't ever feel like you only desire her pussy; girls want to feel TOTALLY desired by a strong and attractive man and when you show her that then she willingly opens her legs for you, it's not about her pussy, it's about HER and who SHE is. Anyway, when you set a frame like that early on then it leads for a pretty stark relationship; consistently see a girl and give her orgasms for three months and eventually she'll ask the question "So, what are we?" and then you're able to decide if you want her as a girlfriend or not.

Having sex early does, in no way, negate a girl from wanting a long-term relationship with you.
 
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