@TomInHo I guess the problem can be summarized in people "lack of critical thinking skills" here and in life, that cause problems in the learning process but also the lack of motivation to work for the things you want, my aim at the post was provide beginers with these tools, thats why it can sound a bit rough but is tough love
Bro come on. Beginners have it rough enough, I really don't think telling them "YOU SUCK" is a great strategy to motivate them to improve. It's similar to fat shaming, because yes most fat people know that they should lose the weight but shaming them on their weight has been shown to not be effective in behavioral changes and actually sometimes reinforces bad habits
But I will break down your points one by one because maybe I was too concise with my initial post
Prerelationship errors:
Lack of social skills: generally due to videogames, or other addictions, there is a breach due to bias in what teachers here say and what students understand due to the lack of social understanding, also they have a another bias in how much negative impact videogames had in their life, i can see an ugly man dating a hot girl (happens all the time) but not a guy without social skills, the reason why is because women value social status and social intelligence a lot more than looks
This is true that video games can stunt your social growth, but I also know players that play video games all day and still slay with women. I personally don't play them anymore but it's ridiculous to tell a man that playing games is the reason why he bad with women
He can play games and also work on seduction at the same time, it's not either or
Posrelationship errors:
Lack of critical thinking skills: (bias) most men here think that the only thing that matter is beauty (in women and men) thats bullshit, any women that knows how to make up can jump from a 3 to 8, hair extensions, contact lenses, padded bras or underpants, fakeeyelashes, invisible tape that can make the nose smaller, women that are 8, 9, and 10s are everywhere, someone that support you unconditionally doesnt
Honestly, who gives a fuck? If the guy is happy with the girl he is fucking why does it matter if she enhanced herself to look that way
Also if the man only values looks it's not my place to tell him what he should value. Everyone has different things that are important to them and all value systems have pros and cons
this applies also for ours perception of beauty, men here think that being hot is the only thing that matter, i put an example, in an online player vs player videogame is strengh the only factor that can predict who wins? games follow a "damage formula" composed of attack speed, critical and other factors, thats why the concept of "damage per second" was born, and even then DPS is not the only predictor of who wins, a player can have a underpowered character and smoke the other player, experience is also key, even then, does the player with the best gear, character and more experience wins? no, the pro player can be in a depressive state and lost to the novice
This is just posturing. Projecting your values unto others
Lack of humbleness, imagine that you have a nerd friend and you want him to have success with women, you advice him to workout and he says nah too hard, ok then you suggest him to get in a comedy school and train to be funny, he responds he dont have money, ok then you suggesting to be more charming, taking multiple free classes on social skills but again he doesnt want to do that, some people here and in life in general have the "anime protagonist syndrome" in anime there is this cliche of a loser guy that happens to him that a girl falls literally from the sky on top of him, is sad to me to inform you that many men here are as delusional as women, Im tired of see when i coach in person so many below average guys with morbid obesity that demands nothing but the 10/10 women, is not bad to want nice things but you must work hard for them, you can have as much prosperity in life as you are willing to believe and to WORK for, the package of life dont come with a guaranted girlfriend and house, you must win things with effort, humbleness is to know that you are not entitled to things "just for existing", dont be a Karen, guys that send boring ass texts to their girl and post here in the forum upset because she doesnt reply, well you arent entitled to get responses if your messages are boring as hell.
Firstly, advice not asked for is advice ill received. If my nerd friend doesn't really care that much about getting women, I'm not going to force him to change. He will have to come to me first then I will give him advice
But also the advice will be geared towards what he wants. Because it is very possible that he may not want a blonde bombshell and may want a nerd as a girlfriend as well
Because I have a few friends that are straight up nerds and with some small tweaks to their approach they were able to land girlfriends that matched their lifestyles. They didn't need to transform themselves into the stereotypical "Alpha Douche" to get what they wanted
But of course if the friend in question says he wants to land models and socialites and widen his sexual appeal for real, then he will obviously need to make some big changes.
And if he is really serious about it then he will do the work and if he is not he'll do nothing. Either way it's not my job to save him, ain't no captain save a bro here, but rather give insights and let him do whatever he wants
Lack of sales skills(framing): seduction and life is not a game of absolute numbers, if you are an 8 you are not perceived as an 8 to all girls (attainability and FTC) FTC of female state control is a set of characteristics inherent to her that lower or raise your atractiveness value in her eyes
Not sure what FTC is but anyways....
I work in sales but funny enough I was still getting girls before I ever got solid sales training. I admit that after I did sales my results improved slightly but I also worked with salesmen that were horrible with women
It's a very good skill to have but honestly just dealing with a lot of women you kind of just pick up the important elements of it naturally
Negative mindsets: victim mindset, she is the trophy mindset, this due to many guys wanting to get a magic pick line that drop panties regardless of their value as men, instead of find the perfect hot girlfriend why not be the perfect boyfriend that can get any girl?, dont search for the perfect spouse be the perfect husband yourself
Again with this perfectionism nonsense.... you don't need to be perfect and slightly above average in a few categories is more than good enough
Unresolved mental health issues: certain things if unnatended will push people away
Lol on this one
There are guys that are great with women that have serious mental issues. Again there is this myth that you have to be this solid dude, that's great in all areas to fuck bitches. This is simply not true at all
In fact some of those guys are able to draw girls in because of their imperfections. It's true that women like a man that's a rock but some women are also obsessed with a man that's perfectly imperfect. In their mind they are like "OMG he would be so perfect if it only wasn't for this" Then they go on and invest a ton into that man because hope they can "Fix" him
It's like white night syndrome for women
Addictions: as someone that had this type of issue, you cant reach your true potential without getting rid of this
Yeah a solid no on this again
Drugs and Alcohol may not be good for you but a ton of party girls will gladly ride your dick just to get a line of blow off you. In some ways having addictions can actually lead to more opportunities for sex
Not that I'm saying people should become druggies but this has nothing to do with women really
Arrogance: arrogance isnt equal to confidence, remember feminists that said that they are strong and independient? strong people dont say those things, their sense of worth is not tied to external validation, when a feminist say she is "a goddess" what people hear is "i have low selfsteem issues", true confidence is know that you are flawed as a human being and more than use that as an excuse for shitty behaviour look forward to improve yourself
I think what you are trying to refer to here is resistance to change.
Look man.... if a dude doesn't want to change that's his problem. Eventually he will get frustrated with his lack of results and maybe become more open
And if he doesn't want to change that's on him. No amount of telling him you're stubborn, arrogant or hard headed will motivate him to change because people have to come to that point on their own
All you can do is help those that want to be helped and ignore the rest until they're ready
Double standards and congnitive dissonance: want it or not, we as men are leaders, and a leader should be better than this followers, you can demand things in a follower that you yourself arent
The world ain't fair G. You can lead and have tons of double standards
So if I want my woman to cook for me it means I have to be a better cook than her? I see where you're going with the logic but there's nuance
People that dont take advice, Lack of screening on women and SIMPS: this is associated to the lack of humbleness, they are wise to their own eyes, and think they no need advice , look you can fuck your life if you associate with the wrong people (man or women) in many countries if a woman feels like destroying your life claiming sexual assault she can, even without evidence!! SA can be as simply as saying something that a feminist dint like, and that SA record will doom your work life forever because SA is perceibed for people as rape, if we here advice "the mental sanity of a woman is inversely proportional to the tattos in her body" and you still marry the tattoed chick, thinking "my princess" and then she fucks your life killing or doing harm to your children, divorcing you and stealing half your things, well not sympathy to you, you bring that to your life, tired of people that dont take accountability in their life, also remember that children obtain the characteristics of their parents, and generally the father (you) is working I have seen a lot of good guys with narcissits wife and daughter plotting against him!
It's getting redundant at this point
The biggest mistake of all, believing tht a woman will fill the void: your happiness your responsability, woman can be a good addition to your life, but never the answer
I honestly don't feel a lot of men really think like this. I mean yeah sure it is possible to get a bout of one-itis a few times, but after some experience a lot of men grow out of it.
There is no singular thing in life that can give one fulfillment, but rather having multiple aspects of your life functioning well is what makes one feel dope AF
And if a guy has a horrible dating/women life, I see no problem with him becoming a little obsessed with it for a while. Because he may go through a lot of pain and make silly mistakes, but he will most likely come out of it stronger from the lessoned learned in the process
Because one thing I will say is that it's okay to fucking suck with women. And if there is anything I have noticed from being on the forum is that too many guys are too hard on themselves and are afraid to suck more
Embrace the suck Gs, because if you keep going.... you will eventually fuck
How to solve the common pitfalls here:
- How to develop a good vibe (Maxwell Maltz)
- The importance of common values in a partner (Chase's coming article)
- How to understand that one has to give to receive (Jim Rohn)
- How to set the right frames (NLP)
- How to adopt the achiever's mindset of ownership and ambition, and leave the victim mindset (Willinck, T. Robbins, etc)
- How to resolve mental issues (Macavity's mega-post)
- How to adopt a growth mindset and leave arrogance behind (Dweck)
- How to be whole without a woman (Self-love)
Step to sucess (pre relationship phase):
1) Improve to be the best version of yourself, particullary focus on looksmaxing, gym, non verbal communication, mental health and social skills, if possible take cine perfomance classes and record yourself
2) Read chase book or his post called "where to start", Focus specially in all the articles that talk about fundamentals because thats the only thing that you will need to have some degree of sucess, additional read about calibration and deep dive thats the core of what you need, understand that pick up is like basquetball game, depending of your aproach it can be easy or hard, in the sense of how far you are from the bassketball basket and how much time you have to shoot, if you aproach a girl in a social circle is like a 2 point shoot with 5 minutes to prepare if you cold aproach a girl in a random street is like a halfcourt shoot with 30 seconds, in a party with her friends is like a shoot with defenders, depends in how solid are your fundamentals. A lot of times i have coached guys that tried advanced tactics without mastering their fundmentals
3) Find a avenue where your prefered girls gather and aproach a lot, at intermediate level the number of aproaches is more important than skill
4) Screen without comunicating judgement to a girl, in that way she will be like an openbook
You dont need to be perfect to get girls, but you need to improve, same as sucess in life, most people dont want to improve or cant allow themselves, things arent hard just need the effort
Finally, something that could be useful but then you had to literally copy
@TestY to do it
I'm going to be honest, you give me the vibe of a guy that reads a lot but doesn't have tons of real world experience to come up with your own insights
I could be wrong but it comes across like strong KJ
EDIT: Also just noticed that you deleted all the juicy content in the OP, but at least people can read this post to see what you initially wrote and can make sense of the conversations generated in this thread
