Community College
Girl 1: my study group over with, I walk around to her after having noticed her earlier. I feel damn good so she responds very warmly and we get to talking. She's working on a poster about AIDS in Texas (yikes) and this could have been good fodder for conversation but I'm quite bad at making playful banter. I'm talking a little too fast, not sexily, and I initiate a yes ladder (still rather clunkily). She says she has a boyfriend and that's it.
To improve on: slow down, be more sexy, don't stand above her (sit down when she sits down)
Girl 2: walking back to my car, I see a cutie walking on the lawn. I'm on the sidewalk and I get a flash of approach anxiety telling me that she's too far away. I say screw that and boom out "Hello". I tell her she's very cute and she is excited to talk to me. I initiate a yes ladder (she tells me I'm very friendly, damn) and I get the number. But my mistake is in demanding a hug when we part: "You're going to give me a hug" I get the hug but I can tell she felt weirded out.
To improve on: slow down, sexier, stand closer, perhaps implant the hug idea in her head?: "Do you want to give me a hug?" or "I can tell you want to give me a hug right now"
University
Girl 3: walking back to my car, she walks ahead of me. I try to catch up without chasing her but damn, these short legs can't keep up! She slows down a bit and I try to tap her on the elbow but her speed picks up again. I don't just want to rush over to tap her so I somehow end up walking beside her. I try to pretend I don't see her then I open her with a hello. It is not the smoothest thing. She is carrying a bunch of crap in her arms so I can't shake her hand. I tell her if she's ever heard of backpacks. She says she has one and it's small (she's wearing it) I say: "Stylish but not functional". A rare witticism from my usually uncharming ass. But it never gets comfortable and she never warms up to me. We part ways.
To improve on: if it feels awkward for you, it feels awkward for her. Just do it and be damned with the results. SEXIER. FLIRTIER.
Summary: approach anxiety feels mostly quashed so now it's time to start taking risks and upping my approaches. Sexier, damn it.
Girl 1: my study group over with, I walk around to her after having noticed her earlier. I feel damn good so she responds very warmly and we get to talking. She's working on a poster about AIDS in Texas (yikes) and this could have been good fodder for conversation but I'm quite bad at making playful banter. I'm talking a little too fast, not sexily, and I initiate a yes ladder (still rather clunkily). She says she has a boyfriend and that's it.
To improve on: slow down, be more sexy, don't stand above her (sit down when she sits down)
Girl 2: walking back to my car, I see a cutie walking on the lawn. I'm on the sidewalk and I get a flash of approach anxiety telling me that she's too far away. I say screw that and boom out "Hello". I tell her she's very cute and she is excited to talk to me. I initiate a yes ladder (she tells me I'm very friendly, damn) and I get the number. But my mistake is in demanding a hug when we part: "You're going to give me a hug" I get the hug but I can tell she felt weirded out.
To improve on: slow down, sexier, stand closer, perhaps implant the hug idea in her head?: "Do you want to give me a hug?" or "I can tell you want to give me a hug right now"
University
Girl 3: walking back to my car, she walks ahead of me. I try to catch up without chasing her but damn, these short legs can't keep up! She slows down a bit and I try to tap her on the elbow but her speed picks up again. I don't just want to rush over to tap her so I somehow end up walking beside her. I try to pretend I don't see her then I open her with a hello. It is not the smoothest thing. She is carrying a bunch of crap in her arms so I can't shake her hand. I tell her if she's ever heard of backpacks. She says she has one and it's small (she's wearing it) I say: "Stylish but not functional". A rare witticism from my usually uncharming ass. But it never gets comfortable and she never warms up to me. We part ways.
To improve on: if it feels awkward for you, it feels awkward for her. Just do it and be damned with the results. SEXIER. FLIRTIER.
Summary: approach anxiety feels mostly quashed so now it's time to start taking risks and upping my approaches. Sexier, damn it.
