Compliance-Blocked?

[Ben]

Hey, I'm new to posting on the forums, so hi everyone

Recently at a small social gathering (6 o people all told) I asked a girl to go get me a cup of water, and another girl
told her not to because I'm being chauvinistic.
She got it for me after some hesitation.

So how do I tip the scales to getting people to listen to me and not someone else?
-Ben

 

[foggy]

Hi Ben!

Good question. You didn't specify exactly how you worded the request, or the vocal tone you used, which is really important when it comes to asking for compliance.

I recommend reading this article, I believe it will provide you with some great insight into your question.

This article about cockblocking will give you further insight.

 

[Ben]

Thanks for the answer Song bird.

I don't remember how I requested the cup of water, but it would have been either non verbal, raising an empty cup and looking at the kitchen (I already mentioned I wanted water),
Or it would have been a hybrid command if I'm not mistaken along the lines of 'could you get me some water' or 'please get me some water'
tonality being the same as used for asking someone to pass a dish at a meal.

As for the why, I'm not sure how to apply the cock block article, the interrupting really just had a chip on her shoulder.

Generally girls will do things for me, how can I tilt things in my favor after I've already asked, and now she's hesitating (and specifically when she is hesitating because someone challenged my request)?

 

[Cacc]

I might be able to help you out here Ben.

First off, if someone is calling you chauvinistic, that is a direct attack on your character. I don't know how you handled this, but moral attacks like this need to be handled.

What I would have done is turned to the girl and said, "No. You are just an insecure, bitter, man hating woman who thinks asking a girl for a favor is some sort of twisted form of disrespect."

Something along those lines. Say it calmly but sternly.

Then, if the girl you asked for water is still hesitating, reassure her, "go ahead sweetheart" with a smile on your face. Make sure you show genuine gratitude for the water so that she is glad she made the right decision.

Hope this helps

 

[Ben]

Thanks, thinking of this as an attack as opposed to an idealistical philosophically based position makes it much easier to get a handle on. Telling her to go ahead is a nice touch.