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- Jun 5, 2020
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This is similar to a conversation I was having with JM about what I eventually figured out that I needed to do when I was using Dating apps in Latin America to reduce or completely remove flaking and notoriously late dates while in Latin America:
A Method to get women to commit, their investment & compliance BEFORE the date, so that they would actually show up and show up on time:
•Video Call with her before the date
•or get her to send you pictures of herself (before the date).
What?
It’s ideal to have a short video call, between 2-10 mins (can be longer, but not at all needed and can become dragged out if it’s longer).
When/Where?
I would do these calls while I was walking around, running errands, getting food or a coffee, or in taxis.
How?
Use the video call as a way to truly see if you’re interested in this woman, while having a fun and playful conversation.
Ideally you want to playfully test her, challenge her and have her qualifying herself to you and why she (verbally) wants to go see you and go on a date with you.
I would test test their english, she would get a (disappointing) idea of my level of Spanish ability.
She can feel and see alot about your presence and how you hold yourself.
Use your ability to lead a conversation to naturally focus on her qualification to you.
Sometimes I had to answer soft objections, like her mother (“put your mum on the phone, we can talk now”) or any safet
Why?
A video call is a perfect way to get her compliance in you, and have her self-qualifying to you in that call.
You can see:
•what she’s like
•how she looks (without hours of preparation and make-up) and
you can do all of this while you yourself have minimal investment in the call.
These video calls were bridging the compliance gap between our texts via the app and her phone - to higher level compliance to bridge to the eventual in-person date that she agreed to.
Once I started implementing these video calls before dates - girls were always turning up on time (mostly) and I wasn’t getting any flakes - even with notoriously flakey and tardy latin women.
This really allowed me to actually see if I was interested in her myself, let alone qualify her interest in me before the in-person date.
Objections: What if she Objects to the Video Call - Baby Step her Towards it
Now, if she was really opposed to the impromptu phone call;
I would baby step her compliance into something smaller to begin with:
•photos of herself clothed.
•Photos of what she wore today.
•Photos of what she plans to wear on our date
•Photos of her in her bedroom
•Photos of her with less clothes on (bikini or underwear)
Etc. Until we bridged the gap between photos and a video call so I could qualify her further
Most women agreed to the video calls eventually. There were only a few shy or young ones I had to baby step towards the call.
If I was sensing the photos were a really large amount of RELATIVE compliance for her specifically - I didn’t push for further video calls, as they weren’t necessary - I already had high relative compliance from her and her idiosyncratic circumstance
If they Outright Refuse?
But if women outright refused everything and every small form of bridging compliance - they were DEFINATELY going to flake or waste your time or just weren’t that interested to begin with (or perhaps wanting to run a scam, we’ll never know).
Women that are interested in you and agreed to go on an in-person date with you (and spend all that time and effort to get there) - but won’t get on a short video call or send some innocent pictures - which is all a very small amount of compliance
= Uninterested and not likely to even turn up or do the bare minimum on the date itself, if they do indeed show up.
It’s a great way to remove the uninterested or gold digging or women and save everyone time and money.
Conclusion
It saves you SO MUCH time to have these photos and short video calls because you can qualify women this way while you go about your day doing whatever else - rather than waste a more significant amount of your time organising to meet her on a date, or worse, the opportunity cost of going on a date with another more interested girl.
This completely changed my dating app results in Latin America with flakey and constantly late latin women to (mostly) on time and women all turning up happily.
I was originally stacking dates back to back or at the same time to make the process more efficient - but that become messy, hard to organise, hard to remember and overall was surprisingly very inefficient.
Will this method be required for Western women?
I think can be applied to western women, but only selectively - if they seem flakey or they’re giving you mixed signals about their level of investment prior to the in-person date.
Photos are a smaller investment and would be more suitable alternative for an investment bridge between the texting and the date for most western women.
Most western women aren’t flaking on dates, or belligerently turning up excessively late, as a common occurance.
If you sense a particular woman needs more compliance or seems inconsistant or you’re simply wanting to deepen her investment - more compliance bridging would be ideal to close this compliance gap prior to the date.
Alternative Applications of Method
I’ve also found the video-calling and photos an effective way to deepen and strengthen investment with women after a first date or first sexual experience where you may not be able to see her for awhile, for whatever reason.
It bridges the gap to the sometimes crucial second date or second sexual encounter - whereafter the relationship usually becomes more relaxed because more bonding and intimacy has occured between you for the relationship to grow more easily and organically.
A Method to get women to commit, their investment & compliance BEFORE the date, so that they would actually show up and show up on time:
•Video Call with her before the date
•or get her to send you pictures of herself (before the date).
What?
It’s ideal to have a short video call, between 2-10 mins (can be longer, but not at all needed and can become dragged out if it’s longer).
When/Where?
I would do these calls while I was walking around, running errands, getting food or a coffee, or in taxis.
How?
Use the video call as a way to truly see if you’re interested in this woman, while having a fun and playful conversation.
Ideally you want to playfully test her, challenge her and have her qualifying herself to you and why she (verbally) wants to go see you and go on a date with you.
I would test test their english, she would get a (disappointing) idea of my level of Spanish ability.
She can feel and see alot about your presence and how you hold yourself.
Use your ability to lead a conversation to naturally focus on her qualification to you.
Sometimes I had to answer soft objections, like her mother (“put your mum on the phone, we can talk now”) or any safet
Why?
A video call is a perfect way to get her compliance in you, and have her self-qualifying to you in that call.
You can see:
•what she’s like
•how she looks (without hours of preparation and make-up) and
you can do all of this while you yourself have minimal investment in the call.
These video calls were bridging the compliance gap between our texts via the app and her phone - to higher level compliance to bridge to the eventual in-person date that she agreed to.
Once I started implementing these video calls before dates - girls were always turning up on time (mostly) and I wasn’t getting any flakes - even with notoriously flakey and tardy latin women.
This really allowed me to actually see if I was interested in her myself, let alone qualify her interest in me before the in-person date.
Objections: What if she Objects to the Video Call - Baby Step her Towards it
Now, if she was really opposed to the impromptu phone call;
I would baby step her compliance into something smaller to begin with:
•photos of herself clothed.
•Photos of what she wore today.
•Photos of what she plans to wear on our date
•Photos of her in her bedroom
•Photos of her with less clothes on (bikini or underwear)
Etc. Until we bridged the gap between photos and a video call so I could qualify her further
Most women agreed to the video calls eventually. There were only a few shy or young ones I had to baby step towards the call.
If I was sensing the photos were a really large amount of RELATIVE compliance for her specifically - I didn’t push for further video calls, as they weren’t necessary - I already had high relative compliance from her and her idiosyncratic circumstance
If they Outright Refuse?
But if women outright refused everything and every small form of bridging compliance - they were DEFINATELY going to flake or waste your time or just weren’t that interested to begin with (or perhaps wanting to run a scam, we’ll never know).
Women that are interested in you and agreed to go on an in-person date with you (and spend all that time and effort to get there) - but won’t get on a short video call or send some innocent pictures - which is all a very small amount of compliance
= Uninterested and not likely to even turn up or do the bare minimum on the date itself, if they do indeed show up.
It’s a great way to remove the uninterested or gold digging or women and save everyone time and money.
Conclusion
It saves you SO MUCH time to have these photos and short video calls because you can qualify women this way while you go about your day doing whatever else - rather than waste a more significant amount of your time organising to meet her on a date, or worse, the opportunity cost of going on a date with another more interested girl.
This completely changed my dating app results in Latin America with flakey and constantly late latin women to (mostly) on time and women all turning up happily.
I was originally stacking dates back to back or at the same time to make the process more efficient - but that become messy, hard to organise, hard to remember and overall was surprisingly very inefficient.
Will this method be required for Western women?
I think can be applied to western women, but only selectively - if they seem flakey or they’re giving you mixed signals about their level of investment prior to the in-person date.
Photos are a smaller investment and would be more suitable alternative for an investment bridge between the texting and the date for most western women.
Most western women aren’t flaking on dates, or belligerently turning up excessively late, as a common occurance.
If you sense a particular woman needs more compliance or seems inconsistant or you’re simply wanting to deepen her investment - more compliance bridging would be ideal to close this compliance gap prior to the date.
Alternative Applications of Method
I’ve also found the video-calling and photos an effective way to deepen and strengthen investment with women after a first date or first sexual experience where you may not be able to see her for awhile, for whatever reason.
It bridges the gap to the sometimes crucial second date or second sexual encounter - whereafter the relationship usually becomes more relaxed because more bonding and intimacy has occured between you for the relationship to grow more easily and organically.
