A
Anonymous
Guest
I was seeing a girl for about 5 months (made it an actual relationship a little over a month in after spending most weekends together). gorgeous, great sex, fun girl, could have her moments, but we worked through our tifts and I had started to feel good about how things were going, like there could be a potential there.
then she dropped a bomb on me, that she has had a long distance relationship with a man in another country for nearly 3 years. By the way I live in Colombia, am from the states, this guy is from Europe. At first she told me we had to end, then she came running back the next night and told me that she loved me and she wanted to be with me. I was willing to accept her but only after she ended it with the other man. after several weeks of not seeing each other, she did. then a few days later she ended it with me, saying she didn't feel the connection anymore.
There are a lot of complicating factors here, this other guy has a lot of money apparently and has promised to buy her a house. I see her motivation in this, its very hard for people to advance here. She has a college degree is a preschool teacher, when she had a job she was making 200 bucks and month and the school didn't pay her for two months. I think in the end she was too scared to go through with it, and the reality is that I had not promised her anything as far as a future, I wasn't ready to regardless of what had happened and I just won't make promises that I don't know if I can keep.
I'm sure many of you will tell me I'm being crazy and well maybe I am, but I can't seem to get over her. Its been over a month and I still miss her. I realize at the end I wasn't myself and well was jealous and needy. she was clearly much more attracted to me than him, so I shouldn't have been jealous at all. I also expressed my opinions on a couple other things in ways that I know made her feel bad. There was too much pressure all around (apparently also this guy ended up in the hospital). I don't buy that she will really be happy with him, in fact I don't buy that this guy is really all in, I mean if he has all this money and is so in love, where is the house? why hasn't he come to colombia? They've only actually spent the equivalent of like 2 or 3 months actually together and never even one time have skyped. I just don't get it.
At the end of the day, I just don't feel like this truly ran its course and a big part of me would like to get her back. Theres still reservations, mostly due to the fact that I fear the psychology of it all on her end, and what expectations she may put on me, and well what her motivations really are. I never got the sense she was in it with me for money, although at the end she did say that she liked to go to nice places and spend money and she didn't feel like we matched on that.
What to do? Is it worth reaching out to her? Or is this something that I just have to leave to NC/moving on and chance? I think when they get together again, they'll be happy for about 5 minutes and I know she'll always question what it could have been like with me.
then she dropped a bomb on me, that she has had a long distance relationship with a man in another country for nearly 3 years. By the way I live in Colombia, am from the states, this guy is from Europe. At first she told me we had to end, then she came running back the next night and told me that she loved me and she wanted to be with me. I was willing to accept her but only after she ended it with the other man. after several weeks of not seeing each other, she did. then a few days later she ended it with me, saying she didn't feel the connection anymore.
There are a lot of complicating factors here, this other guy has a lot of money apparently and has promised to buy her a house. I see her motivation in this, its very hard for people to advance here. She has a college degree is a preschool teacher, when she had a job she was making 200 bucks and month and the school didn't pay her for two months. I think in the end she was too scared to go through with it, and the reality is that I had not promised her anything as far as a future, I wasn't ready to regardless of what had happened and I just won't make promises that I don't know if I can keep.
I'm sure many of you will tell me I'm being crazy and well maybe I am, but I can't seem to get over her. Its been over a month and I still miss her. I realize at the end I wasn't myself and well was jealous and needy. she was clearly much more attracted to me than him, so I shouldn't have been jealous at all. I also expressed my opinions on a couple other things in ways that I know made her feel bad. There was too much pressure all around (apparently also this guy ended up in the hospital). I don't buy that she will really be happy with him, in fact I don't buy that this guy is really all in, I mean if he has all this money and is so in love, where is the house? why hasn't he come to colombia? They've only actually spent the equivalent of like 2 or 3 months actually together and never even one time have skyped. I just don't get it.
At the end of the day, I just don't feel like this truly ran its course and a big part of me would like to get her back. Theres still reservations, mostly due to the fact that I fear the psychology of it all on her end, and what expectations she may put on me, and well what her motivations really are. I never got the sense she was in it with me for money, although at the end she did say that she liked to go to nice places and spend money and she didn't feel like we matched on that.
What to do? Is it worth reaching out to her? Or is this something that I just have to leave to NC/moving on and chance? I think when they get together again, they'll be happy for about 5 minutes and I know she'll always question what it could have been like with me.
