- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
- Messages
- 290
Hello,
I honestly don't know what to make of this girl. I am going to write about what I've done this far and my critique of what I've done this far. I'd like to ask anyone who wants to help, if they can critique me and provide other perspectives for me to make sense of this whole situation.
The situation is, I asked this girl out TWICE if she wanted to hangout watch a movie or a TV show that I happened to mention. I didn't shoot for a date because I wanted to see if she would be up for just coming over and chilling. The first time she says she is going home. The second time she says she is going to a party. The first time I was like, okay reasonable excuse, she is human and has things. The second time I am thinking, okay now she wants me to be a friend or she wants me to go out with her when she has had some to drink and can really let herself make enough mistakes where we end up together. I was thinking, Nope. *throw my hands up in the air* I'm out, peace. Bon voyage." Didn't come out that way in reality, but that's what happened in my head. Anyways... I don't see her for an entire week because classes are canceled Monday because of snow and Friday I have no reason to go to the tutoring center other than to see her and I already told myself that I am done. Good enough time for me to get any sort of hooks or feelings for her out of my system.
Today, I wake up in the morning, tell myself I am just not going to give this girl the time of day cos I am done and have better things to do. I go to the gym after a two week rest period, and then off to the tutoring center where I get to talking more with this new girl I met on Thursday, who I know is interested in me and I share the same sentiment back. I also made it a goal of mine to not move slow or mess around because I "got her", learning from my experiences with the girl of this post. The day is starting off right, right? So the girl I am talking to leaves at 12 along with a bunch of other people. A bunch of chairs open up and of all the places the girl of this post chooses, it is the somewhat across from me. She sits down I non-verbally communicate "Hey" with a smile and get back to my work, listening to music, not giving her the time of day. Next thing, out of my peripherals, this girl is LOOKING AT ME ALMOST EVERY SECOND! Her chair is angled towards me, she is trying to look busy on her phone, I start dancing to my music a bit so she takes her headphones out but doesn't listen to any music. It's clear she wants me to do something but in the moment I just didn't want to do anything with her anymore... I was just confused! Is it just that she wants my attention because she just wants someone to talk to when she is tutoring and doesn't actually want to hangout with me outside of the place or is it really that she wants me to talk to her because she is interested in me? The last case seems highly unlikely to me, but that is because I already have this mindset that she isn't interested in any way other than platonic means. Despite this hurt or longing look on her face I wasn't giving into it even if I felt bad. I'm predicting that if she cares enough, she is going to end up coming to me complain that she is sad that we aren't talking anymore and that she misses me and I either 1) tell her what's up: I prefer being a lone wolf and have little time or patience for friends; if I do decide to convert an acquaintance into a friend, the individual must be of exceptional caliber (I have one female friend who is my pretty much my twin. We are always in sync. That is the closest I have to any sort of female friend) or 2) my nice guy/white night persona kicks in by telling her "Awh I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you like that!" We kiss and hug it out and I dig myself deeper into the friend zone (past experience).
Before I knew about GC I did this all the time with girls. I would just go ice cold or aloof. They would the gap I left behind, clammer for my attention and I would either continue to ignore them or get back into the friend zone because I didn't have the balls to say, "I want to have sex with you" without saying "I want to have sex with you." I think the effect they feel is the same effect men feel when they realize a girl is in a state of auto-rejection. The classic "I know they are interested but I'm not sure if I'm interested. Now they aren't interested, and now I'm interested" situation. Now I am better in that I am not bitter, I just understand that my time is important and I don't waste it socializing with other people, man or woman, unless whatever they have to tell or share with me is exceptional or possesses ground to pique my interest. I'll exchange pleasantries and be on my merry way to wherever I have to be or whatever I want to do. The fault that I find with this mentality is that it was MY FAULT for moving so slow with her. For messing around, for being somewhat sexual but not sexual enough in that I was not directly indicating interest explicitly but implicitly; pretty much all the downfalls of men who move slow.
I didn't chase this girl, I can't confidently say I was persistent either because I forgot to persist whenever she would say I can't. In addition, there would be times when I let my impulsiveness get in the way and get into some competitive witty affair with her rather than working to deep dive her (by far my biggest annoyance with myself as well as my biggest lesson with her).
If I reengage this girl how do I go about doing this? By this I mean, do I get her out on a date. Do I talk to her for a bit and have share some good conversation before proposing the "hey I'm gonna head out in a bit, gonna watch *insert this movie*, wanna come with?" Or do I go back to actually getting her number, taking her out on a date, then back to my place and escalating from there?
I just feel exhausted with this girl now and am just going through the motions, or at least I am telling myself as such because this is my way of weening myself off of any sort of attraction for a girl. Today she looked pretty damn cute. She is a petite girl with a nice figure; dark hair that is always curly and wavy; and I remember her walking past me one day and I noticed through her jeggings that she has a really nice ass (jeggings op). That description enough sounds pretty damn great to me but my analysis of myself is that I moved slow with this girl because I was getting caught up in not trying to end up tangled up in her. I didn't expend the correct amount of effort because I was afraid that I may end up falling for her and that is something I don't want to do right now with any girl for that matter. Writing that right here indicates to me that my problem is that I should have been meeting MORE girls other than working on just one girl. Colt's article and all of the info I've read here plenty of times affirms the downfalls and disadvantages of working on one girl vs many girls.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of working on more than two or three girls at one time, something I talked about with Pinot a couple of weeks ago.
Example, you collect 10 numbers between Monday and Thursday. Friday you shoot out texts to each of these 10 girls seeing who wants to meet up on Friday or Saturday, maybe spacing some here and there. Some girls you cancel on because you like some choices over other ones. What happens to the ones that are canceled on? Do you shoot a text at a later date and say, "Hey sorry I canceled on yuh. How about I make it up to you by *insert something to do together on* + *insert date and time*"?
I wrote this up really fast because I need to sleep since I wake up around 5 am tomorrow morning.
Apologies and thanks in advance,
I honestly don't know what to make of this girl. I am going to write about what I've done this far and my critique of what I've done this far. I'd like to ask anyone who wants to help, if they can critique me and provide other perspectives for me to make sense of this whole situation.
The situation is, I asked this girl out TWICE if she wanted to hangout watch a movie or a TV show that I happened to mention. I didn't shoot for a date because I wanted to see if she would be up for just coming over and chilling. The first time she says she is going home. The second time she says she is going to a party. The first time I was like, okay reasonable excuse, she is human and has things. The second time I am thinking, okay now she wants me to be a friend or she wants me to go out with her when she has had some to drink and can really let herself make enough mistakes where we end up together. I was thinking, Nope. *throw my hands up in the air* I'm out, peace. Bon voyage." Didn't come out that way in reality, but that's what happened in my head. Anyways... I don't see her for an entire week because classes are canceled Monday because of snow and Friday I have no reason to go to the tutoring center other than to see her and I already told myself that I am done. Good enough time for me to get any sort of hooks or feelings for her out of my system.
Today, I wake up in the morning, tell myself I am just not going to give this girl the time of day cos I am done and have better things to do. I go to the gym after a two week rest period, and then off to the tutoring center where I get to talking more with this new girl I met on Thursday, who I know is interested in me and I share the same sentiment back. I also made it a goal of mine to not move slow or mess around because I "got her", learning from my experiences with the girl of this post. The day is starting off right, right? So the girl I am talking to leaves at 12 along with a bunch of other people. A bunch of chairs open up and of all the places the girl of this post chooses, it is the somewhat across from me. She sits down I non-verbally communicate "Hey" with a smile and get back to my work, listening to music, not giving her the time of day. Next thing, out of my peripherals, this girl is LOOKING AT ME ALMOST EVERY SECOND! Her chair is angled towards me, she is trying to look busy on her phone, I start dancing to my music a bit so she takes her headphones out but doesn't listen to any music. It's clear she wants me to do something but in the moment I just didn't want to do anything with her anymore... I was just confused! Is it just that she wants my attention because she just wants someone to talk to when she is tutoring and doesn't actually want to hangout with me outside of the place or is it really that she wants me to talk to her because she is interested in me? The last case seems highly unlikely to me, but that is because I already have this mindset that she isn't interested in any way other than platonic means. Despite this hurt or longing look on her face I wasn't giving into it even if I felt bad. I'm predicting that if she cares enough, she is going to end up coming to me complain that she is sad that we aren't talking anymore and that she misses me and I either 1) tell her what's up: I prefer being a lone wolf and have little time or patience for friends; if I do decide to convert an acquaintance into a friend, the individual must be of exceptional caliber (I have one female friend who is my pretty much my twin. We are always in sync. That is the closest I have to any sort of female friend) or 2) my nice guy/white night persona kicks in by telling her "Awh I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you like that!" We kiss and hug it out and I dig myself deeper into the friend zone (past experience).
Before I knew about GC I did this all the time with girls. I would just go ice cold or aloof. They would the gap I left behind, clammer for my attention and I would either continue to ignore them or get back into the friend zone because I didn't have the balls to say, "I want to have sex with you" without saying "I want to have sex with you." I think the effect they feel is the same effect men feel when they realize a girl is in a state of auto-rejection. The classic "I know they are interested but I'm not sure if I'm interested. Now they aren't interested, and now I'm interested" situation. Now I am better in that I am not bitter, I just understand that my time is important and I don't waste it socializing with other people, man or woman, unless whatever they have to tell or share with me is exceptional or possesses ground to pique my interest. I'll exchange pleasantries and be on my merry way to wherever I have to be or whatever I want to do. The fault that I find with this mentality is that it was MY FAULT for moving so slow with her. For messing around, for being somewhat sexual but not sexual enough in that I was not directly indicating interest explicitly but implicitly; pretty much all the downfalls of men who move slow.
I didn't chase this girl, I can't confidently say I was persistent either because I forgot to persist whenever she would say I can't. In addition, there would be times when I let my impulsiveness get in the way and get into some competitive witty affair with her rather than working to deep dive her (by far my biggest annoyance with myself as well as my biggest lesson with her).
If I reengage this girl how do I go about doing this? By this I mean, do I get her out on a date. Do I talk to her for a bit and have share some good conversation before proposing the "hey I'm gonna head out in a bit, gonna watch *insert this movie*, wanna come with?" Or do I go back to actually getting her number, taking her out on a date, then back to my place and escalating from there?
I just feel exhausted with this girl now and am just going through the motions, or at least I am telling myself as such because this is my way of weening myself off of any sort of attraction for a girl. Today she looked pretty damn cute. She is a petite girl with a nice figure; dark hair that is always curly and wavy; and I remember her walking past me one day and I noticed through her jeggings that she has a really nice ass (jeggings op). That description enough sounds pretty damn great to me but my analysis of myself is that I moved slow with this girl because I was getting caught up in not trying to end up tangled up in her. I didn't expend the correct amount of effort because I was afraid that I may end up falling for her and that is something I don't want to do right now with any girl for that matter. Writing that right here indicates to me that my problem is that I should have been meeting MORE girls other than working on just one girl. Colt's article and all of the info I've read here plenty of times affirms the downfalls and disadvantages of working on one girl vs many girls.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of working on more than two or three girls at one time, something I talked about with Pinot a couple of weeks ago.
Example, you collect 10 numbers between Monday and Thursday. Friday you shoot out texts to each of these 10 girls seeing who wants to meet up on Friday or Saturday, maybe spacing some here and there. Some girls you cancel on because you like some choices over other ones. What happens to the ones that are canceled on? Do you shoot a text at a later date and say, "Hey sorry I canceled on yuh. How about I make it up to you by *insert something to do together on* + *insert date and time*"?
I wrote this up really fast because I need to sleep since I wake up around 5 am tomorrow morning.
Apologies and thanks in advance,