Conservative Girl in another State

[PinotNoir]

Hey guys, I haven't posted in a while, but decided to post about a unique situation.

I've been talking to this pseudo-conservative girl that lives in another state. I've chatted with her on cam (on Skype) and through some phone calls and text messages.

I've kind of been going at this one rogue, trying to figure out the best way to maintain it. I know that long-distance-online relationships is usually a bad idea. I've been only using phone calls and text messages for meetups on Skype basically. Then on Skype, I build rapport since we can actually see each others' facial expressions. I've also been trying to keep the conversation sexual (nothing too forward like "let's have sex," just subtle hints).

Well, I'm finally going to meet her, and she obviously picked up on the sexual cues because she said, "You know, we are not going to have sex. Just sweet kisses." I replied back, "Of course! What kind of guy do you think I am? I think you are thinking naughty thoughts about me "

Anyway, with something long distance like this, I feel like it's important to "close." Sure, I'm going to take her out to some romantic places, build conversation, etc., but I still plan on trying to get her back to my hotel at the end of the night and pressing a little more forward, despite what I said. The only problem is that I'm pretty sure I'll just get shutdown. Is it worth even trying? Especially when she's flat out stated that she doesn't intend for any sex?

I'm also worried that without sex the attraction will be gone. Besides the pleasure, that's a main thing I've learned. Especially for long distance, if we don't have sex, then I think her passion for me will have a higher chance of dying out.

Any tips for this one?

 

[Franco]

Hey PN,

I think you know the deal here. I would absolutely attempt to get her to come back with you and physically escalate. Remember, her words don't matter. It's only her actions.

If you happen to be making out on your couch (or bed, or wherever that may be), don't be afraid to make your move. If she references anything about not having sex, you can give her a sexy smile and say things such as, "well I didn't expect you to be quite so cute and sexy..." and then continue to do things like kiss her neck and jawline. The idea is to prime her for sex, regardless of what her intentions were going into the date. She's going to follow her emotions, so if her emotions are telling her, "he's so sexy and I'm turned on by him," then she's going to follow that emotion.

And yes, in a long-distance type of thing like that where there is plenty of sexual tension going on, you definitely want to close if possible. It is much harder to build up that type of tension long distance and then make it re-occur at a later date, so make sure to try and make your move the first time you meet up.

Even if you get only as far as taking off a few articles of clothing and making out in your bedroom, it's better than nothing at all. The progress may be enough to make her want to come back to finish the story.

Cheers,

Franco

 

[Ross]

Well, I'm finally going to meet her, and she obviously picked up on the sexual cues because she said, "You know, we are not going to have sex. Just sweet kisses." I replied back, "Of course! What kind of guy do you think I am? I think you are thinking naughty thoughts about me "

I have a good feeling that you're going to close on this one PinotNoir. This is typical foreplay put forth by women; it means you have pretty much green lights to attempt escalation. If I were you, I'd claim you are taking her on some romantic date, but the minute you get her alone you start to escalate. Then you can take her out on that date .

The only problem is that I'm pretty sure I'll just get shutdown. Is it worth even trying? Especially when she's flat out stated that she doesn't intend for any sex?

Try not to think this way. Turn everything in your favor so that there's no chance you'll get shutdown. This means escalating ASAP. I would suggest building the sexual tension up to a near peak, and within 30 minutes of being around her get her isolated. If you need something that is more step-by-step, I'll lay it out:

- Meet her close to/inside your apartment or hers
- Talk for 5 minutes while building sexual tension (hint: don't be overtly sexual. Be very, very subtle. Only give cues in your body language and tone, not your actual words as this will seem too try-hard)
- Move her to isolated place
- Escalate to sex
- Have amazing sex
- Go out for dinner after working up an appetite .

If you have any questions, don't shy away from asking me about anything specific.

 

[PinotNoir]

Thanks guys. You 2 always give excellent advice.

Remember, her words don't matter. It's only her actions.

I need to burn this into my memory. It's very true with women.

I will try these 2 things from you guys:

"well I didn't expect you to be quite so cute and sexy..."

- Meet her close to/inside your apartment or hers
- Talk for 5 minutes while building sexual tension (hint: don't be overtly sexual. Be very, very subtle. Only give cues in your body language and tone, not your actual words as this will seem too try-hard)
- Move her to isolated place
- Escalate to sex
- Have amazing sex
- Go out for dinner after working up an appetite .

I may be able to pull this off on the first day easier. I'll just be flying in. Since it will be late (or I can use a lame excuse like jet lag), then I'll just suggest meeting at the hotel (or close by). Since just meeting, she may be more skeptical though, so we may have to go out somewhere first before she warms up to the idea of watching a movie in my hotel room...

 

[PinotNoir]

Do you guys help with date templates?

Ross, I know you said to try and pull pretty quickly, but I don't think my fundamentals are tight enough. She also brought up the "no sex" thing again haha. Either I'm coming off too sexual or she wants me as a boyfriend (I'm fine with boyfriend, but want to push the sex faster to solidify it).

I talked with her and explained how I may be tired or w/e on the 1st day, so she should just come over and watch a movie. She said fine.

Here's what I was thinking:

• Meet her outside and bring her back into my hotel to drop her laptop off (or she may just want to carry it with her).
• Walk to local grocer and buy some finger food (not popcorn, something more romantic) and maybe some champagne/wine. Give us a chance to talk and fun picking out food. I'll hold her hand, etc. (Is that releasing the sexual tension too quickly?)
• Watch movie on bed (purposely leave luggage on chairs if any).
• Cuddle/kiss. I may try push-pull here instead of intense push. Kiss her longingly and then stop and go back to watching movie, repeat.
• Slowly escalate more passionate kissing and touching up and down her body.

This may be cheesy, but I was thinking about trying to dance with her if music came on during the movie or something.

What do you guys think?

 

[Ross]

Either I'm coming off too sexual or she wants me as a boyfriend (I'm fine with boyfriend, but want to push the sex faster to solidify it).

It could be either of those. I feel like certain frames are already in place which would make it very difficult to make much happen:

- She is in control and has the power. This occurred most prominently when you accepted this frame: "You know, we are not going to have sex. Just sweet kisses."
- You flew in and are staying at a hotel. You made all the effort to come see her, and even when you are there, she makes it sound like it takes a lot of effort for her to
- She's placed you into a potential boyfriend/friend zone.
- You're already supplicating to her like she is the authority figure "I talked with her and explained how I may be tired or w/e on the 1st day, so she should just come over and watch a movie. She said fine."

Upon hearing this information, you need to do a 180, and fast. If the friend zone is down & sex+mating is up, you are headed straight down. 180s are very hard to do. What does this mean?

You are going to be met with a LOT of resistance upon trying to do anything that doesn't fit her idea of what a "proper" man should do. Her idea of a proper man is going to relegate you to the friend zone, and maybe turn into a boyfriend role (after 6 months or so). But she won't respect you for it. You need to do things the way you know they need to be done to make both of you happy. This doesn't mean:

Meet her outside and bring her back into my hotel to drop her laptop off (or she may just want to carry it with her).

The moment that you get into a point of isolation with her and do not capitalize and sleep with her, you will not be able to establish a frame of always sleeping with her while you two are alone and capable.

Walk to local grocer and buy some finger food (not popcorn, something more romantic) and maybe some champagne/wine. Give us a chance to talk and fun picking out food. I'll hold her hand, etc. (Is that releasing the sexual tension too quickly?)

Unnecessary step. Picking out food is something that people enjoy doing with their friends and family; not their lovers. Hand holding? Another way to establish friend/boyfriend zone and will make it harder to have sex with her.

You need action and you need it now. Here's the process that you need to take to establish the frames necessary to make her experience intense emotions for you, rather than you holding onto hope for "romance" making her fall in love with her. So take this advice, and listen well:

- Upon meeting, allow sexual tension to mount. Don't say anything sexual (Damn you sexy) just be subtly. This means something like this:

Girl: "Hey Pinot. So good to finally meet you!"
You: Hey; nice to see you... (crooked smile) Let's go to my room, shall we?
Girl: I don't know, can you just take my laptop there?
You: I'm afraid my hands are full. You'll have to come with me (hands obviously not full)
Girl: Your hands aren't even full.. (you hand motion her to come along, she follows)

Now, assuming there's an elevator, make your move in here. As soon as those doors shut, passionately push her against the wall (slow but firm) and give her a kiss and feel her up a little. Then, pull away. Walk to your hotel room like nothing happened, and continue to escalate to sex. Your fundamentals are fine; capitalize on the opportunity. The faster you have sex in this situation, the easier it is going to be. It's going to be nigh impossible if you wait and hope for it to happen.

After this you can go get food and have fun with her after you've worn her out from too many orgasms .

 

[PinotNoir]

Thanks man. I will do this the best I can. Hopefully, I pull it off.

Your post makes sense. I'm definitely doing too much chasing and effort, and this is a tough situation. I've never traveled to meet a girl before, so I just wanted to try it out. I think it will be a fun adventure. If it blows up, I'll still enjoy vacationing in a different city and chat with some other ladies there.

 

[PinotNoir]

Kind of a disappointing update to this one.

Well, her grandfather died, and so it's canceled. I can cancel everything (with all money back), so no big deal, and I'll use my vacation time to do something else enjoyable.

I talked (mic & cam) with her on Skype, and I don't know if it was just the high emotions from death, but she was crying and really upset that she couldn't see me. I just stayed calm and tried to be her rock, making her happier at the end of the conversation.

I may still see her in the future. It's something that I've never done, so I think it will be a fun adventure as I previously said.

In the meantime, I will keep approaching around my town and dating locals.

Thanks for the advice guys; it kind of sucks because now I can't even try it out in this situation.