Calls & Texts Copy of text conv...where did I go wrong?

[ChalupaBatman]

Background: A cute girl who worked at a restaurant smiled at me. As I was leaving I asked to talk with her and grabbed her number. A day later I had the following text conversation.

CB: Hi HB8, this is CB...save my number.
Girl: lol. Hey.
Girl: Its spelled HB8 btw. (She corrected me on the way I spelled her name)
CB: Good to know since it was typed in my phone wrong (I am teasing her since she was the one who typed her name in my phone)
Girl: Haha. Well I was rushing
Girl: Btw how old are you?

1 hour later

CB: How old do you think I am?
Girl: I dont even remember what you look like lol.

50 min later

CB: So whats your schedule like this week?
Girl: Today and tomorrow

30 min later

CB: Ok so your free during the week? Trying to find when a good day would be to grab a bite.
Girl: lol. oh. Uhh yeaaa. Im not sure on when Im free.

I haven't texted her back and I doubt I will since I am clearly being blown off. But to avoid this in the future, can anyone shed some light on where I went wrong?

Thanks,
CB

 

[diegoC]

To be honest I'm starting to think that girls who don't respond well to actually meeting you is due to a lack of real connection during an interaction.

All this thing about texting styles, what and what not to do might be okay, but, really, it just comes to the impact you make on her.

I had the idea that being a mysterious was the way to go always. I've to disagree now. Yes, you have to be mysterious but not in a way that you are deflecting to answer questions when they really want to know about you.

When talking to someone in person you can tease her a little about a question like the one she asked you ("How old are you"). You may say "how old you think I am", or whatever. In text, I don't like it. She has no time to play along when other 15 guys and girlfriends are texting her.

Being mysterious is better done when you answer as little as possible as opposed to evading to answer. For instance:

Her: What do you do?
You: I'm a astronaut and right now I'm dreaming
Her: haha, really what do you do?
You: Nothing special, some boring stuff that isn't excited. How about you? What do you do?

I don't like this. It sucks. Is like hiding something. Just answer with passion about what you do and she'll get interested. Just don't extend yourself and focus on her then. If you can't be passionate about that, well, answer the question and move on to other topic. This way you can keep being mysterious but honest. At the end, women want to meet guys who are honest.

Regarding you interaction on whatsapp I have to say this:

CB: Hi HB8, this is CB...save my number.

Don't like that. I know people have used this but I am completely against this. I don't tell someone to save my number. If they want to, good.

Girl: Btw how old are you?

I don't know the timing of the previous messages so I'm just gonna guess. If the previous messages where sent quickly I have to say that waiting and hour to answer a genuine question that interested her is no good. I would have say "25 years old" and end the conversation then (just because you don't need to keep chatting a lot on text)

Girl: I dont even remember what you look like lol.

I don't like her response. First of all I'm sure she said this because, as I said before, you didn't leave an impact on her. That's why she said this. I wouldn't have respond to this (she deserves a negative validation for this or punishment -I don't like this word anymore). I would have waited 2 days and maybe then text her.

She is telling you I don't even remember you and then your next text is about setting a date. Bad move.


I have to say that my abundance mentality is pretty great. Now, when I write a girl and she doesn't reply is like fuck you. And is not like "fuck you stupid girl that doesn't want to know me", it's a simple "fuck you, because I know now I didn't have an impact on you and I fucked it up. I better don't chase you so my fucked up interaction with you doesn't even matter anymore and you may start thinking that if I'm not chasing you I might be a really cool guy who deserves another opportunity".

I don't text her anymore for a loooooong time (if I do, because, I'm meeting other people).

Cheers!

 

[ChalupaBatman]

Diego thanks for the speedy reply!

My issues with numbers have really been frustrating, and the fact that you, and I'm sure others on the boards have noticed, only shows how badly I need to improve.

I appreciate the in depth breakdown of the conversation. Looks like I really blew it on this one. I guess I can chalk it up to another learning experience.

In regards to the age question, I ignored it because I didn't want to give her control, and I think I might be a little older than her. Ill be sure to be more open next time.

We both share the same feelings about her response of "I don't remember what you look like." I ignored this also because it seemed like some type of shit test. Plus this happened yesterday and I can't understand how someone can't remember someone in that small span of time.

I also could not spend a lot of time chatting her up because she was really busy working. This could be why no real lack of connection happened. I doubt I spent 2 minutes with her.

Diego is it safe to say this girl is done with me?

 

[diegoC]

In regards to the age question, I ignored it because I didn't want to give her control, and I think I might be a little older than her. Ill be sure to be more open next time.

Best way to deal with things you might think might be an issue to her is to address them first. Other times you feel you are way to older for a girl just tease about you being like her father or whatever to get it out of the way. If she likes you she won't care.

We both share the same feelings about her response of "I don't remember what you look like." I ignored this also because it seemed like some type of shit test. Plus this happened yesterday and I can't understand how someone can't remember someone in that small span of time.

You responded to that message just 50min later when you shouldn't have. Also, remember that is good not to answer questions if you don't feel like it, although this is better on person. Maybe she says something you don't like or asks somethings that is stupid, or you are on daygame and she says she has to leave: Ignore.

Remember that the girls should move to your rhythm/vibe, not the other way around.

I also could not spend a lot of time chatting her up because she was really busy working. This could be why no real lack of connection happened. I doubt I spent 2 minutes with her.

Having connection + attraction is what all is about. Maybe it was hard to build one but if you talk to a girl you have to keep this in mind and aim for this to happen to have solid closes.

Diego is it safe to say this girl is done with me?

I would say that it's not doomed but I wouldn't text her, for real. I would just keep going out and meeting other girls. If the place where she works is in a convenient way for you (5min away from your house, work, etc.), and you can go without seeming obvious for her you are there to see her, well, you could do it BUT I would suggest you do in some time (3 weeks, a month later).

So, I would not text her, I would meet other girls, and if for some reason I remembered her, I'm near that place and actually can buy something where she works or whatever good excuse I have to go there, I would.

You approach her, say hi, little chit chat, try to make a good impression, end the interaction with some future possible date together ("We should get together sometime and grab a coffee", which see will most definitely say "Yes, sure", and then you just say something like "Perfect, I'll text you") and then leave. You will then NOT text her. You just planted the idea you want to see her but you don't do it. The idea is to make her think you will be after her and then, for some weird reason you are not ("Why is he not asking me when he said he wanted to hang out") and see if she bites and texts you (obviously she might not even think about you at all, but she might, an if she does, we want her to wonder why you don't contact her)

I find it difficult to get to see a girl if she didn't connect with me when I met her. This advice I give you is a way to change the dynamic of the interaction between both. She has blown you off and now you are doing it by not texting her for something you asked for.

Is way hard to connect via text when she really doesn't care about you, so, just remember that connection + attraction is what makes a good pickup.

It's plain simple. If you got 20 numbers of girls you didn't had a good interactions with and you haven't talk for a long time and send a mass message you will mostly get response of the girls that don't have better options, and, in the case of quality girls, that's never the case.

That's why making an impact is so damn important in all these pickup stuff.

Cheers!