- Joined
- Dec 1, 2013
- Messages
- 38
Couple months back on a business trip to Denver, I had the last evening off and went down to the bars. I talked to a pretty young blonde girl, but she just wasn't being very receptive. In a lull, I caught the eye of her friend "Linda" who was somewhat older and less attractive but still interesting. I turned my attention to her, and after chatting a bit I got her number, and continued on around the bar. I got tired of the bar & went to an almost-empty Irish pub next door, and texted Linda to come join me. She countered saying that her party would bounce to a country bar soon, and I should join them. So I did.
We got a table at the periphery of the dance floor, where a number of people were already partner dancing or bopping around in clusters. I was drunk by this point. I danced with "Linda" pretty closely, until I had a big boner going.
I leaned in and whispered, "I need you to come help me make a mess out of those nice clean sheets in my hotel room."
She: "I'm not going to have sex with you."
I don't remember what I said, I think I looked surprised for a split second but played it cool.
Linda: "You're not going to leave now, are you?"
Me: "Of course not!" -- this seemed to surprise/reassure her
We danced more, and I tried to kiss her, and she dodged it and reiterated her "no sex" policy. Rinse & repeat. At one point, I said:
Me: "So how do you feel about younger men?"
Her: startled look
Me: "HAha, kidding, you're probably ... 23, right?" (I did actually think she was a year or two older, but I wanted to make her feel better.)
Her:"Oh, honey! I'm 7 yrs older than you!"
Me: "No kidding! Wouldn't have guessed."
Anyway, I think she was sort of autorejecting b/c of the age difference, but I could also see some desire in her eyes. She told me to go try dancing with someone else, "plenty of younger girls who would like to get with you" or something like that. So I did.
I opened a cute lawyer, "Sarah," who was also a very good dancer. I did some deep-diving about her job & other things.
Her: I'm a public defendant.
Me: that's neat!
Her: not everybody feels that way!
Me: I guess some people are like, "you are taking the side of the bad guys!" am I right?
Her: yes!
Me: but, they aren't necessarily bad guys! Innocent till proven guilty...
Her: exactly!
Me:"so what do you do when you're not saving the world?"
Her: chuckles, recounts hobby.
We danced, she put her arm around my neck while we were grinding.
Me, whispering in her ear: "You're trouble!"
Her: "I'm not going home with you."
Me: thrown for a loop. I missed a great opportunity for some chase-framing ("who said I wanted to take you home? Methinks the lady doth protest too much" would have been great).
Eventually, she said THE SAME THING, told me to keep making my rounds, essentially. So I did.
I got opened by a really cute girl who tried to teach me to dance properly, and I basically went into autorejection with her (d'oh!) I also got elbowed off the dance platform by some asshole who was upset at me for dancing next to his girl & shooting looks at her. Finally, I found my way back to Linda; I needed to go hotel for some sleep before my flight, so I tried the 'hard sell' but she wouldn't budge, so I left empty-handed.
Things I did right:
*persisting
*good fundamentals (no silly cowboy outfit! I think the fact that I stuck out by actually looking stylish got me a lot of points)
*deep-diving
Things I could use work on:
*being completely unphased by resistance, persisting even more
*staying sober
*chase-framing
Questions:
*What should I make of them trying to deflect me by saying I should go dance with other women? Is it because dancing too long with one girl goes against some weird cultural norm at these places? I don't feel like I was putting them off, they were both very attracted to me, as best I could tell. Was it a test? Autorejection?
*What should I do when she says this? I am afraid of looking like a man-skank if I go around and dance dirty with a lot of women, but OTOH maybe this is exactly the thing I should be aiming for!
Tips:
*if you want to practice overcoming tons of resistance, country bars are for you! Don't try to fit in, dress as you would for other clubs (ie, stylishly).
We got a table at the periphery of the dance floor, where a number of people were already partner dancing or bopping around in clusters. I was drunk by this point. I danced with "Linda" pretty closely, until I had a big boner going.
I leaned in and whispered, "I need you to come help me make a mess out of those nice clean sheets in my hotel room."
She: "I'm not going to have sex with you."
I don't remember what I said, I think I looked surprised for a split second but played it cool.
Linda: "You're not going to leave now, are you?"
Me: "Of course not!" -- this seemed to surprise/reassure her
We danced more, and I tried to kiss her, and she dodged it and reiterated her "no sex" policy. Rinse & repeat. At one point, I said:
Me: "So how do you feel about younger men?"
Her: startled look
Me: "HAha, kidding, you're probably ... 23, right?" (I did actually think she was a year or two older, but I wanted to make her feel better.)
Her:"Oh, honey! I'm 7 yrs older than you!"
Me: "No kidding! Wouldn't have guessed."
Anyway, I think she was sort of autorejecting b/c of the age difference, but I could also see some desire in her eyes. She told me to go try dancing with someone else, "plenty of younger girls who would like to get with you" or something like that. So I did.
I opened a cute lawyer, "Sarah," who was also a very good dancer. I did some deep-diving about her job & other things.
Her: I'm a public defendant.
Me: that's neat!
Her: not everybody feels that way!
Me: I guess some people are like, "you are taking the side of the bad guys!" am I right?
Her: yes!
Me: but, they aren't necessarily bad guys! Innocent till proven guilty...
Her: exactly!
Me:"so what do you do when you're not saving the world?"
Her: chuckles, recounts hobby.
We danced, she put her arm around my neck while we were grinding.
Me, whispering in her ear: "You're trouble!"
Her: "I'm not going home with you."
Me: thrown for a loop. I missed a great opportunity for some chase-framing ("who said I wanted to take you home? Methinks the lady doth protest too much" would have been great).
Eventually, she said THE SAME THING, told me to keep making my rounds, essentially. So I did.
I got opened by a really cute girl who tried to teach me to dance properly, and I basically went into autorejection with her (d'oh!) I also got elbowed off the dance platform by some asshole who was upset at me for dancing next to his girl & shooting looks at her. Finally, I found my way back to Linda; I needed to go hotel for some sleep before my flight, so I tried the 'hard sell' but she wouldn't budge, so I left empty-handed.
Things I did right:
*persisting
*good fundamentals (no silly cowboy outfit! I think the fact that I stuck out by actually looking stylish got me a lot of points)
*deep-diving
Things I could use work on:
*being completely unphased by resistance, persisting even more
*staying sober
*chase-framing
Questions:
*What should I make of them trying to deflect me by saying I should go dance with other women? Is it because dancing too long with one girl goes against some weird cultural norm at these places? I don't feel like I was putting them off, they were both very attracted to me, as best I could tell. Was it a test? Autorejection?
*What should I do when she says this? I am afraid of looking like a man-skank if I go around and dance dirty with a lot of women, but OTOH maybe this is exactly the thing I should be aiming for!
Tips:
*if you want to practice overcoming tons of resistance, country bars are for you! Don't try to fit in, dress as you would for other clubs (ie, stylishly).
