Current sticking point

[Anonymous]

after spending enough time in the community I came to a point where I believe that game will never get you the girl... I mean

-Not being needy, Reactive, approval seeking, horny or boring.
-and being confident, dressed ok, good bodylanguage, fun and flirty.

these are all prerequisties unless you have them you're doomed... but will never win you the girl (before the hook)
so she has to be digging you before you open your mouth.
and Good looks and social proof are the only things that will make you hook girls consistently...

after realizing this it shattered what I thought I could be and now I'm desperate again.

and when I read chase's article on the X-factor I remembered one guy on another boards telling me that my mindset is still on technical things and game is beyond that.
and he mentioned subcommunication and other things that sounded delusional to me

now my question is... will that x-factor help me hook more girls?
curremtly I have two girlfriends that I consider 8 and 7 and one fuck buddy... and I have been called handsome more than ugly
but I'm still not at the level I thought I could get to

when I think about x-factor I think of some guys that when I first met them they seemed to be really fun and positive. they have 100% belief that everyone around them will react friendly to them. which forces people to react to them favorably.
is this the x-factor?

 

[Tyme2k]

I think you're thinking of game as a "Set of rules," but I will tell you from experience, there are no rules. Everything can and will be broken over and over. Of course there is faux paus in any social situation, but in specific situations things can vary.

I will tell you game will always get the girl if she can be got.. Make sense? Now if you think of game as tactics, lines, routines, then you are very mistaken, sir.

Game stems from your inner manhood, it is who you are and how you convey yourself. It is all about what you truly want and taking it. Being good at it means you're flexible, and you have released yourself from the rules.

It is definitely an art more than a science, like acting. You could know every technique in the book on how to act, but still be a shitty actor. Same with game, research every piece of game as you will, but you will still suck.

Until you internalize what game truly is you will never be at this level you speak of. Internalizing things like congruency, thoughs words and actions aligned, knowing that your life is 100% fulfilled without women, being polarized as you a man, having goals larger than you, and much more. These are all things you'll learn when you press onward.

RSD Tyler talks about this is "Intermediate purgatory" might want to hit up google.

 

[Estate]

Caffeine,
There's no doubt that things like social proof and good looks help. But that's not the point of this or any other PU-like site.

Look, there are the guys out there who are naturally very good looking... but really... go out for a night to the local club/bar... how many are there really? 1 or 2? If any at all? Most guys are average... they dress average, they look average, they act like everyone else. Average isn't bad, those guys still get laid, but the point of taking advice is you can set yourself apart. You don't have to be average... will the really good looking guy still get girls with seemingly not a lot of effort... yes, there's no point arguing or complaining about that but again... how many REALLY good looking guys do you see?

On social proof... Of course it helps... if a pup ugly guys in sloppy dress walks in surrounded by 5 super models girls are gonna ask "What has he got? I want to know..."... but again... how often do you actually see that? It's hardly a regular thing.
We all know the guy who absolutely kills it in school/college... maybe he's a hockey player with his front teeth missing but he's got his boys, he's got his status and he rolls with a group of people with high status in his environment. It works for him. But take him out of that environment, how well does he do? Not very well!

So you see, my point is... nobody can tell you that those things don't help. Guys who have some of this stuff can sometimes seemingly have it easy, they can get girls without having a lot of game. Sure... we won't lie to you.
But I repeat... these guys are only a small sub-set of the overall spectrum.

We don't all have that. But we can learn to use "game" or teachings on this site to make up for not having 5 super model friends, a huge posse or stunning good looks. We can set ourselves apart. The word making up for it, actaully sells it short. We're not making up for short comings, we're actually improving OTHER things to such a degree that not having something else doesn't matter. These qualities are equally as important if not more so than just looks and social proof but people ignore them.

In my own example. I spent a lot of time in my current city alone. I knew nobody. Even now that my social circle is growing a little, it's still not of a quality that gives me massive social proof. I have some cool friends but cool in the sense that I like them and have a good time with them but they aren't the type of build me huge social proof but I'm ok with that... I don't have legendary game, not by a longshot, and I have a lot to learn still, but I still can get girls.

It's all a mindset... there are a lot of things that make guys attractive to girls...
Social proof is attractive.
Being good at conversation is attractive.

If you don't have social proof then you can easily work on being an amazing conversationalist. But a lot of people dismiss this... they will say it's all abut looks at social proof... YES, if you have those, you don't need such a great conversation skillset, but it's all a balancing act I feel.

 

[Tyme2k]

they will say it's all about looks at social proof... YES, if you have those, you don't need such a great conversation skillset, but it's all a balancing act I feel.

I always will disagree with people who say its about looks. I am, in my and other's opinions, attractive definitely above average in looks. I have been told since I can remember how handosome I am. I'm 6ft slim build, fit/tone, blue eyes, symetrical face, completely proportionate, full brown hair, defined lips, lightly tanned skin, you get the picture. Except in my life I was TERRIBLE with women. Of course I beta'd around getting a girl here and there, but somehow I'd fuck it up eventually and chase the hell out of girls. Sometimes I would get an opportunity to talk to attractive girls because of my looks, only to blow myself out as soon as I said something akward or uncalibrated.

Fast forward to my integration of Game. The first few months were extremely difficult, I was getting blowouts more consistently and harder than anyone I knew, especially guys less attractive than me. I've heard fuck off, you're hot but go have sex with someone else, not interested, ew, and have been slapped. Almost each time I wasn't pushing hard and honestly I was holding back. Most of the time when I did get blown out it was by girls that I would never date and only gaming for the sake of process. I concluded these girls knew they didn't stand a chance with me and to protect their ego they would blow me out. Ever since I toned down my style to compensate and created a more friend to friend vibe when approaching girls I'm not interested in. I always use the analogy for good looks as imagine starting game you are a level 1 noob, but guess what, you look like a level 20, but you aren't ready to fight level 20's. You end up getting pummeled and pummeled trying to catch up to the level the women think you're at and damn it really breaks you down to your internals. Until you become as good or better of a conversationalist than you are good looking I'm sure to bet you will get blown out the same as I did. Unless the girl is coming from scarcity or well below your league, not hard to pull a 5 that's into you.

The funniest part of the looks, is my main wing for a while was not as good looking as me. He was 5'7", stalky, had a face like gilbert godfrey, and no style whatsoever... But guess who was better with women? He was able to compete with me and better than me on many levels. There were many nights he pulled/isolated girls and I was left with my dick in hand. I can't ever recall a night where I pulled and he didn't.

About social proof. I have pulled more girls solo or with very minimal social proof, then I have with massive social proof. It does make it much easier, but it's definitely not necessary and I advise everyone game without it as much as possible that way they don't need it as a crutch. That said it is incredible and rewarding to build a social circle, this has been a long goal of mine and thanks to Chase and many other guys I have already begun amassing a great group of high value friends.