- Joined
- Jul 8, 2021
- Messages
- 47
Hey boys and girls
I have no work until 23.8, and no girlfriend. So I thought I’d go out every day until then (at least). Sometimes it’s quite the emotional rollercoaster, so maybe writing about it will make it easier, and help some of you guys!
ABOUT ME
I’ve written one or two posts here a thousand years ago, so I’m sure no-one knows me.
- I’m 38
- living in a city of about 200,000 ppl.
- I’ve known about game for 18 years. Practiced on and off. Peaks and valleys, two serious relationships
- been good at night game once upon a time. Never very good at cold approach in the daytime, but not terrible
- I don’t know if it’s tasteful to put my lay count here, but let’s say, if I die today, I will die with a smile on my face
Current situation: I started going out two weeks ago, daytime. Last week I was away on a trip. This is all after having a painful breakup in December. So, I haven’t done any game in many years. Now I feel like it’s time to properly learn to talk to women in the daytime. I don’t like to call it daygame, because that messes with my head. I start to obsess over “how it’s going”. So I won’t use that word. But I do love the term cold approach![Beaming face with smiling eyes :grin: 😁](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.5/png/unicode/64/1f601.png)
Major problem/sticking point: my mood is unpredictable when it comes to cold approach. I clearly have some trauma-crap inside, and when I decide to go out, sometimes there’s no problem and sometimes I feel reeeeally bad. I recently started meditating (zazen or Gelong Thubten-style), and that seems to be very helpful! In fact, I'm just as excited about meditation as I am about cold approach
I’m generally a happy person with great relationships to friends and family. My social skills are pretty good, I love where I live.
FRIDAY 26.7.2024, four approaches.
1. Skinny girl in skirt
I was riding my bicycle, saw her walk down the street. Parked my bicycle, went up, stopped her as we met on the street. She was wearing headphones and sunglasses. The sunglasses came off. The headphones were not little ones but one big set. She pulled the right one away from her ear so she could hear me. She kept holding it like that all the time.
I said she looks interesting. I said I think long skirts are attractive. She seemed warm, but she wouldn’t take off the headphones for a more relaxed position. A little bit of conversation about travel and what she’s doing this summer. She didn’t really get hooked. After a few minutes I said, anyway, I think she’s attractive, does she want to have a coffee some other time? She winced when I said attractive and told me she was taken. We ended on a good note.
I try to always keep the ending positive. It’s good karma and keeps me in a good mood. Still, I noticed I got a bit frustrated. Not too bad, I turned it into motivation.
2. Cute psychologist
I cycled into a quiet area. A very attractive girl came down the street, but I was going pretty fast and passed her. I didn’t do anything. I could have. Ok, now I noticed I feel slow and a bit low confidence today. It’s probably from nicotine (trying to kick it, it’s going ok, but not perfect) and BAD sleep from the trip I was on (lot’s of parties and stuff).
The area was empty, so I turned back. And here comes the same girl! She had gone to the store to buy something to drink. This time I stopped and opened her.
She seemed really happy to be stopped by me. She was also extraordinarily cute. She had a nice body too, and a cute voice. She was very receptive. Unfortunately, that thing happened where she’s so attractive I get stifled and too polite and not aggressive at all.
She said she’s going to an exam, because she studies psychology. She asked me what I do. I came up with some good things I could have said, “you look more the kind of person who’s into spiritual stuff than the science of psychology” aaand some good transitions into yoga and crystals and stuff… but I was too stifled to say any of those! So the conversation stayed boring!!
Sooo the vibe started dying. I said, well you have to go to your exam, I have to go… but do you want to get a coffee some day? No, she’s taken. But she thanked me for stopping her and wished me a great summer and so on and so on…
This affected me quite a bit. I can’t know, maybe she is in a loving relationship. But maybe she was disappointed since I couldn’t live up to the good first impression I made. I was in pretty bad mood after this. Well, writing about it now I feel like I’m processing it and perhaps can let go of it.
3. Library-goer
After the psychogirl I parked my bicycle in the city center and walked the streets. Missed a couple of approaches just because I felt like crap. This didn’t help my mood![Laugh :LOL: :LOL:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
A girl in black appeared. I walked her way. She tried to steer clear of me. Probably because there’s a lot of salesmen and fundraisers in the street. I stopped her. She seemed relieved when I said I’m not selling anything.
She was nice but clearly didn’t want to stay. One minute of attempted banter. I ended in a humorous way, “ok I get it, you’re going to the library, Have a great day”
4. Mandala tattoo
Stopped her. She seemed apprehensive. Again, relieved when I said I don’t sell anything. I said she looks interesting. It was genuine. She said, “no, I’m really not”, and just walked away. Crap. I was gonna start talking about her tattoos. Well, they didn’t look so cool up close anyway![Beaming face with smiling eyes :grin: 😁](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.5/png/unicode/64/1f601.png)
*
Although I haven’t done this systematically in a long time, I’ve done it enough in earlier years to recognize something: when I’m in this mood, nothing works out. On one hand, I then want to do more to 1) get out of the bad mood and 2) see if I can practice more technical game, meaning executing without being a more natural flow state. The question is not easy to resolve. There is of course meta-levels of self-fulfilling prophecy in this one. Also, since the days have such wild variation, it's hard to grab onto any one problem or plan. Not complaining, just articulating the current challenge!
Tomorrow I start over. I don’t know what my plan will be. Option 1 is absolute crazy-man and approach no matter what. I’m probably capable of this, but if the mood is like today, it might send me into an even worse inner state. Option 2, walk around until I see something that REALLY sparks my interest. Better chance of first approach going well, which might lead to a better session. Of course, it would be best to be resilient and steady so that no single approach can affect me so much. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
I have no work until 23.8, and no girlfriend. So I thought I’d go out every day until then (at least). Sometimes it’s quite the emotional rollercoaster, so maybe writing about it will make it easier, and help some of you guys!
ABOUT ME
I’ve written one or two posts here a thousand years ago, so I’m sure no-one knows me.
- I’m 38
- living in a city of about 200,000 ppl.
- I’ve known about game for 18 years. Practiced on and off. Peaks and valleys, two serious relationships
- been good at night game once upon a time. Never very good at cold approach in the daytime, but not terrible
- I don’t know if it’s tasteful to put my lay count here, but let’s say, if I die today, I will die with a smile on my face
Current situation: I started going out two weeks ago, daytime. Last week I was away on a trip. This is all after having a painful breakup in December. So, I haven’t done any game in many years. Now I feel like it’s time to properly learn to talk to women in the daytime. I don’t like to call it daygame, because that messes with my head. I start to obsess over “how it’s going”. So I won’t use that word. But I do love the term cold approach
![Beaming face with smiling eyes :grin: 😁](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.5/png/unicode/64/1f601.png)
Major problem/sticking point: my mood is unpredictable when it comes to cold approach. I clearly have some trauma-crap inside, and when I decide to go out, sometimes there’s no problem and sometimes I feel reeeeally bad. I recently started meditating (zazen or Gelong Thubten-style), and that seems to be very helpful! In fact, I'm just as excited about meditation as I am about cold approach
![Smiling face with smiling eyes :blush: 😊](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.5/png/unicode/64/1f60a.png)
FRIDAY 26.7.2024, four approaches.
1. Skinny girl in skirt
I was riding my bicycle, saw her walk down the street. Parked my bicycle, went up, stopped her as we met on the street. She was wearing headphones and sunglasses. The sunglasses came off. The headphones were not little ones but one big set. She pulled the right one away from her ear so she could hear me. She kept holding it like that all the time.
I said she looks interesting. I said I think long skirts are attractive. She seemed warm, but she wouldn’t take off the headphones for a more relaxed position. A little bit of conversation about travel and what she’s doing this summer. She didn’t really get hooked. After a few minutes I said, anyway, I think she’s attractive, does she want to have a coffee some other time? She winced when I said attractive and told me she was taken. We ended on a good note.
I try to always keep the ending positive. It’s good karma and keeps me in a good mood. Still, I noticed I got a bit frustrated. Not too bad, I turned it into motivation.
2. Cute psychologist
I cycled into a quiet area. A very attractive girl came down the street, but I was going pretty fast and passed her. I didn’t do anything. I could have. Ok, now I noticed I feel slow and a bit low confidence today. It’s probably from nicotine (trying to kick it, it’s going ok, but not perfect) and BAD sleep from the trip I was on (lot’s of parties and stuff).
The area was empty, so I turned back. And here comes the same girl! She had gone to the store to buy something to drink. This time I stopped and opened her.
She seemed really happy to be stopped by me. She was also extraordinarily cute. She had a nice body too, and a cute voice. She was very receptive. Unfortunately, that thing happened where she’s so attractive I get stifled and too polite and not aggressive at all.
She said she’s going to an exam, because she studies psychology. She asked me what I do. I came up with some good things I could have said, “you look more the kind of person who’s into spiritual stuff than the science of psychology” aaand some good transitions into yoga and crystals and stuff… but I was too stifled to say any of those! So the conversation stayed boring!!
Sooo the vibe started dying. I said, well you have to go to your exam, I have to go… but do you want to get a coffee some day? No, she’s taken. But she thanked me for stopping her and wished me a great summer and so on and so on…
This affected me quite a bit. I can’t know, maybe she is in a loving relationship. But maybe she was disappointed since I couldn’t live up to the good first impression I made. I was in pretty bad mood after this. Well, writing about it now I feel like I’m processing it and perhaps can let go of it.
3. Library-goer
After the psychogirl I parked my bicycle in the city center and walked the streets. Missed a couple of approaches just because I felt like crap. This didn’t help my mood
A girl in black appeared. I walked her way. She tried to steer clear of me. Probably because there’s a lot of salesmen and fundraisers in the street. I stopped her. She seemed relieved when I said I’m not selling anything.
She was nice but clearly didn’t want to stay. One minute of attempted banter. I ended in a humorous way, “ok I get it, you’re going to the library, Have a great day”
4. Mandala tattoo
Stopped her. She seemed apprehensive. Again, relieved when I said I don’t sell anything. I said she looks interesting. It was genuine. She said, “no, I’m really not”, and just walked away. Crap. I was gonna start talking about her tattoos. Well, they didn’t look so cool up close anyway
![Beaming face with smiling eyes :grin: 😁](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.5/png/unicode/64/1f601.png)
*
Although I haven’t done this systematically in a long time, I’ve done it enough in earlier years to recognize something: when I’m in this mood, nothing works out. On one hand, I then want to do more to 1) get out of the bad mood and 2) see if I can practice more technical game, meaning executing without being a more natural flow state. The question is not easy to resolve. There is of course meta-levels of self-fulfilling prophecy in this one. Also, since the days have such wild variation, it's hard to grab onto any one problem or plan. Not complaining, just articulating the current challenge!
Tomorrow I start over. I don’t know what my plan will be. Option 1 is absolute crazy-man and approach no matter what. I’m probably capable of this, but if the mood is like today, it might send me into an even worse inner state. Option 2, walk around until I see something that REALLY sparks my interest. Better chance of first approach going well, which might lead to a better session. Of course, it would be best to be resilient and steady so that no single approach can affect me so much. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.