FR Cute Asian traveller with time constraint (less than 1h)

[gameboy]

It was a wonderful sunset on the beach today. After having attempted a number of failed/rejected approaches (described here), I came across an Asian girl on the beach that was quite my type: Petite, with a cute face, dressed casually, and with the Asian girls' typical stunning, long, jet-black hair.

PING

She was walking around all by herself. I came up from behind, so I walked up past her at some distance. Then when I was at her level, I used a ping inspired by this recent article of Chase's. It worked wonders. I said in a loud voice, from about 3m (10ft) away: "The clouds are so beautiful today!"

SHE RESPONDS GREAT

She immediately walked all the way over to me and came really close, talking to me. I don't recall exactly what she said. I think I didn't even understand her at first, as her English was okay, but not great. I talked a bit about the beautiful sunset, how this hour is always magical here on the beach. She agreed. Then I asked her if she was visiting and how long she was staying (logistics). Turns out today was her last day, she was actually planning to leave that same night. Chatting with her a bit, I found out that she was a student from Korea, but currently on holiday visiting Europe for 2 weeks.

EARLY BANTER

Found out which places she had already been to, and where she was going tomorrow. While also relating some things about myself, but not much. Like where I'm from, and that I live here. Throughout the whole conversation, she was laughing a lot as she was struggling to express herself in English. I laughed with her and sometimes teased her a bit, but also reassured her that her English was really good, and touched her on the lower back to comfort her as she seemed a bit self conscious in that respect.

I asked for her name, which I won't post here to protect her privacy, but I will say that her name sounded funny in English. I told her mine, then did the handclasp thing and held her hand for much longer than I usually would. She didn't pull away, which was a good sign. I did tease her a bit about her name on at least 2 occasions, and she laughed hard about it and seemed to find it genuinely funny. I then asked her to spell it for me, which she did (first compliance, even though I didn't think of it like that at the moment). The spelling was quite ridiculous for me but of course it's a completely different language so I didn't make fun of that.

MOVED HER

I then told her "Let's walk a little over there to see the sunset!" and she complied. She did mention though that she had to take a bus to the next city she was visiting in about 1 hour. So I had a very tight escalation window. I decided there was no chance to pull her home in that little time (I live about 20 minutes away by foot) so I decided to see if I could kiss-close her right there on the beach before parting ways.

I ramped up the touch as we talked. I don't remember exactly what else we talked about, but we were both laughing a lot and I touched her on a few occasions, on places like her arms and her back. Then we arrived at a part of the beach that was less sheltered by buildings, and the wind blew in our faces strongly. So I told her, "Hey this wind is annoying, let's walk back, it was nicer over there." She agreed (more compliance).

SITTING DOWN

When we came across a patch of grass between some palm trees, she asked me to take a picture of herself. I always seem to get that with girls I meet on the beach. I wonder if there is a way to capitalize on the situation? Maybe take a cool picture of her and then ask her to send it to me via whatsapp so I have something to remember her by, thereby also exchanging numbers? Maybe I will try that the next time.

She sat down on the grass and I took a couple pictures, then handed her her phone back. I asked her how old she was (with an undertone of "I hope you aren't too young!") and she said "I'm older than you think!" I said "Oh, I'm older than you think too!" She told me that she was 27, then guessed my age at 35. Bless her heart! I'm about to turn 50, lol... but I didn't tell her that. I just said "Close!" and that I'm a little bit older than that, but then I changed subjects.

I noticed a picture she had as her screensaver on the phone, and asked her to show it to me. I sat down real close to her so I could see it. It was of her at an iconic location in one of the places she had recently visited.

TIME'S RUNNING OUT

I ramped up the touch a bit more, touching her leg, and at one point even her face with the back of my hand, saying she was cute (which was true). I also brushed her hair back when it was over her eyes "so she could see better what she was doing" on her phone.

I sensed she would have to leave any moment now to catch her bus, so I decided to go for the kiss full caveman style. As I moved in, she tilted her head down though, and said sorry. I think I tried once more, but she wasn't into it so I said "Okay... then give me a hug instead" and she gave me a really nice, warm hug. A few minutes after she said she had to leave to catch her bus, so I gave her another goodbye hug and let her go.

I crossed her way once more as we were both going our separate ways, and I indicated her the way to the bus stop from a distance. She said thanks, waving and smiling, then disappeared out of my view.

SHE ASKED ABOUT WHERE I LIVE

I remember that at one point she asked me whether I live in the city center? I said yes. I'm not sure if this was when we were still standing, or already sitting down on the grass. I believe it was when we were already sitting.

Was this an invitation to pull? I didn't get it at the moment. I think I had it too internalized already that she'd be leaving town that night. So instead I told her in a joking manner that she should come visit me at my place when she came back to my city. She said it would be too expensive, I was like, "Hmm what can we do about that?" I then asked her what she was studying, she said something like business management so I said oh there you go, you'll make a lot of money so you can come visit me then. Which was a joke of course, but also future projection.

Maybe I should have tried to find out how firm her decision to take that bus to the next city was, and if it could be postponed by a few hours or even until the next morning. Her asking about where I live did seem to indicate some level of interest...

CONCLUSION

It felt REALLY GOOD to go as fast as I could possibly imagine with this girl. It didn't work out, obviously, and I didn't quite expect it to because it was just so fast. But it was FUN! Like releasing an energy that has been inside me for a long time, longing to get out. It's been ages (AGES!) since I did anything comparable with a cute girl that wasn't already my girlfriend or a paid sugar baby.

So while I didn't get any "results" in an objective sense, I did overcome my own internal inhibitions. And that is probably what I like most about game so far. It also makes me outcome independent to a degree.

What I did well:
- The ping worked marvellously. Thanks, Chase, for that article of yours!
- Lots of compliance, touch, teasing, and general flirting
- Most of my previous approaches were mainly small talk without showing much sexual intent. Today I did the opposite.

What I could have done better:
- I don't think I did any screening
- Forgot to deep dive (except asking her a bit about her travels and such, but not on an emotional level)
- Didn't realize the escalation window when she asked about where I live
- I need a routine for when girls ask me to take their picture. Which happens all the time. Any suggestions?

As always, I'd love to hear what you guys would have done in a situation like this!

 

[StrayDog]

Now we're talking!

What a solid set @gameboy. Really putting seduction tech to good use here.

This is exactly what I mean when I have been saying that you might be closer to success than it may feel. Just a few tweaks here and you might have been able to take this one all the way, or at least have landed that kiss close you were going for.

Your report pretty much touches on the elements that were missing that could have gotten you there.

The major elements that were missing were:

-Deeper logistics intel/management.

Find out all the details of what her decision to catch the bus is. How important is it. Get to the "heart of her travels" so to speak, and figure out the deeper meaning behind her catching the bus. Is there some attraction she has been meaning to see her whole life? Or is it more that she is just loosely aiming to make the most of her travels and see a bunch of different cities. Does she already have a ticket?

Also, I would have kept momentum in forward moving logistics regardless of the time constraint. You mentioned that at one point it was windy and you moved her back towards where you started. I don't know what your logistics were like because I wasn't there, but I wouldn't have done that. Was there a café, or some other sort of shops nearby you could have moved her to? Somewhere where you could build more intimacy, as well as a sense of things moving forward. Keeping the spontaneity going.

What about a place halfway between the beach and your house? Closer to the pull. Also, a twenty minute walk to your house isn't that far. I understand you had a time constraint, but moving her halfway there wouldn't have taken too long.

Now, obviously if she intends to catch a bus that is a logistics factor. And if she has not invested entirely in the seduction, moving her too far from the bus stop will be met with resistance. However, by still moving her further from where you met, you are getting her to buy in more and more. If you could have pulled to a nearby café or something that would have been an ideal next step.

Gunning for same day lays like this is always about running these sort of logistics in your mind. You have to think on your toes. Sometimes balancing two or three logistical constraints at once. A good rule of thumb is to always be moving things forward, as much as the moment permits. With this in mind you can meet potential logistical roadblocks with an attitude of "cross that bridge when we get there". In this instance you instead changed the goalpost at first sight of potential resistance an hour away. Opting for a kiss close instead. The thing is, steps that would have moved things closer to pulling her, were the same steps that would have most likely gotten you a kiss close, even if you weren't able to pull.

It can be easy to get psyched out in the face of tricky logistics, but stay calm and keep your eye on the prize. Run deeper logistics, and always move things forward as much as the moment permits.

-Deep Diving to build a stronger sense of connection

This was the main missing ingredient. If you had developed this further, I am confident that you would have gotten that kiss close regardless of any logistics missteps that had been made. But combine deep diving, with proper logistics management and the following suggestion, and you most likely would have been golden

-Reality pacing

This girl is out traveling the world living looking for adventure and magic. Unless there was some pressing reason why she just had to catch that bus, what could be more magical than being swept off her feet by a supremely seductive, uncanny connection in a strange new landscape.

Now, if she is just itching to keep traveling, you might have a lot to contend with. The thing is, if there is enough momentum to where she just gets carried away and by the time she has to even consider hopping on bus for real she is already deeply entranced with your world. You have already swept her into a sense of adventure. Began to show her parts of the world she can't expect to find any where else but here on this adventure with you. Well, then she will seriously consider that perhaps she should stay just one more night.

Especially if you have kept logistics moving forward. Maybe the two of you have just magically ended up at a city overlook, or an incredible secret little galleria, or a quaint café. Or maybe she is even already at your house, moaning while you finger her (while her asking where you lived may or may not have been an invitation to pull right at that moment, it was at the very least an invitation to move things forward, go deeper, give her a sense of where things COULD head)

Especially if you have deep dived her and are speaking a deeper language of desire that touches a piece of her.

You mentioned in your report how you considered future projecting about her coming back to the city (which by the way has an element of chasing, when the two of you have yet to have consummated your desire for each other), but why not future project 20 minutes into the future, and hour into the future, a day into the future. Allow her to get a sense of what it would be like should she stay and get wrapped up in your world. I think perhaps your resignation to the logistical obstacles is what lead you to future project to her next visit, instead of pacing her reality towards the seduction in the here and now.


And when last note, on your question about taking her photo. Just reminder of the routine I mentioned in your journal. where you use it as an opportunity to play director (setting authority frames). Build collaborative frames and get her to invest "Okay, but if we are going to do this we need to collaborate." Tease out deeper parts of her "okay, what do we really want this photo to say about your time by the beach?"(this can become a whole entire other conversation before you even take the photo, leading it in entirely new directions, before coming back to it). Tease her, make her work for it, then once you snap the pic, just kind of brush it off and move on to other things. Playfully build it all up, then just jokingly brush it all off.

Great report. Keep up the good work!

 

[gameboy]

-Deeper logistics intel/management.

Find out all the details of what her decision to catch the bus is. How important is it. Get to the "heart of her travels" so to speak, and figure out the deeper meaning behind her catching the bus. Is there some attraction she has been meaning to see her whole life? Or is it more that she is just loosely aiming to make the most of her travels and see a bunch of different cities. Does she already have a ticket?

Yes, I think that was my main mistake. I should have definitely found out how flexible she was with that bus. And told her (later, when we were sitting) that we could have a lot of fun if we could spend some more time together.

Also, I would have kept momentum in forward moving logistics regardless of the time constraint. You mentioned that at one point it was windy and you moved her back towards where you started. I don't know what your logistics were like because I wasn't there, but I wouldn't have done that. Was there a café, or some other sort of shops nearby you could have moved her to? Somewhere where you could build more intimacy, as well as a sense of things moving forward. Keeping the spontaneity going.

It didn't really matter. I was planning to go to sort of an overlook of the port, but with the wind blowing it would have been uncomfortable there. But really we could have sat down anywhere else to get a bit more intimate / kiss, which she even initiated herself when she asked me for that photo.

A café wouldn't have been doable with her time constraint (unless I could have convinced her to take a later bus). If I understood her correctly, her bus was leaving in 1 hour, but the bus station was about half an hour away and possibly she'd have to grab luggage from her hostel or whatever so time was really short. Which was why I decided to go for the kiss somewhat aggressively instead of taking my time.

-Deep Diving to build a stronger sense of connection

This was the main missing ingredient. If you had developed this further, I am confident that you would have gotten that kiss close regardless of any logistics missteps that had been made. But combine deep diving, with proper logistics management and the following suggestion, and you most likely would have been golden

True. I need to get better at deep diving.

-Reality pacing

Especially if you have deep dived her and are speaking a deeper language of desire that touches a piece of her.

This might have been difficult, especially with the language barrier. I find reality pacing hard to do even in my mother tongue, I just don't have any experience with it. Now for me English is my second language and I'm fairly proficient with it, but for her, it was a lot more difficult.

To give you an example: She told me she had been in Paris and had seen the "Apple Tower".

I was like "What?" and turns out she meant the Eiffel Tower

We had a lot of laughs about things like these though. I told her apple is a fruit. And she was like, and a phone.

And when last note, on your question about taking her photo. Just reminder of the routine I mentioned in your journal.

Yeah, I actually rememered that (vaguely) when she asked me for the pic. I had a hard time coming up with much of "directing" in the moment, so I just asked her if she wanted it standing or sitting, then told her to smile when I was ready to take the picture. Which was probably lame, as smiling on command isn't an easy thing to do and rarely works except with experienced models.

Which is why I'm thinking that some kind of routine would be useful. Maybe ask her "Do you want to look sexy in the photo?", then if she agrees, direct her to some kind of pose... I'll see if I can come up with something. Or maybe someone reading this has a routine for these situations already?

Great report. Keep up the good work!

Thanks man! Next time I'll know what to do when a girl tells me she has to catch a bus

 

[StrayDog]

It didn't really matter. I was planning to go to sort of an overlook of the port, but with the wind blowing it would have been uncomfortable there. But really we could have sat down anywhere else to get a bit more intimate / kiss, which she even initiated herself when she asked me for that photo.

indeed, circumstances don't always allow that you have many options of places to move to. The main point I was aiming to make was that in order for a seduction to be at it's most effective there needs to be a feeling of forward momentum. Be that in terms of moving from one place to another physically, or on a more subtle psycho emotional level. Ideally the two combined.

So while you can still land a seduction in one location before the pull, generally you are going to gain way more momentum if locations are changing while the psycho emotional element picks up steam as well.

While going to the gusty docks may have been too uncomfortable (though a genuinely adventurous gal may not mind at all, in fact may have been all about the gusty nature of it all), and going back to the beach was a reasonable move. That sort of backward movement can also kill a little bit of the "getting swept away" feeling that you can generate by moving locations. Even though it makes sense in a logical way, it can still lead to a feeling of "okay where is this going." Because there was attempt to move things forward, and the interaction sort of backtracked.

Again, if the psycho/emotional aspect is still moving forward that is not the end of the world. But, it is important to be aware when you make calls like that, that back track a bit, that you are sort of solidifying the interaction in one location. Rather than generating a sense that this interaction can really "go somewhere."

 

[StrayDog]

Here is another idea. Perhaps somewhat counter intuitive. What if, through out the interaction, you progressively moved her closer and closer to the bus station? All the while seducing her. Just a thought experiment.

I have had women change plans literally last second before. Because we were hitting it off. Like me walking her to her car and her going "wait a second we should keep hanging out." Sometime moving her closer to the thing she just "has" to go do can actually take the stress off and provide more opportunity to seduce her proper.

Just a thought.