Cute girl checking me out a billion times in the gym

[killerman]

So this morning I was in the gym. And this girl was just checking me out, over and over again, I lost count how many times. Even when I was doing standing lateral pulldowns I could see in the mirror at the far end of the room that this girl was looking straight at my ass, it was kind of funny. I've built up quite big arms now and when I was doing kneeling narrow pulldowns I noticed she was just staring in my direction. All this staring it was just constant, no looking away then looking back, just staring for ages. When I was doing leg raises I noticed her come in and she was just staring, I thought it was because she wanted to use the bar but no, she was just staring, oggling me. This never happened to me before but now Ive built up quite a nice muscular athletic frame and this girl was just STARING. However when Id look around she'd try and pretend she wasn't staring and would kind of ignore me. She never followed me around but she did check me out a LOT. So I went up to talk to her later, asked how her workout was and she was smiling and friendly but never made an effort to ask about me, continue the conversation. Also it's worth noting that when we talked she kind of seem a little uninterested, I didnt get any strong indicators of interest. So what's going on? I think she might have a guy but she just likes staring at me because she thinks I'm hot. Or maybe she's just shy? So what do you guys think is going on?

 

[Derek da man]

Our eyes have a way of being drawing towards a view that we enjoy hence where she was looking.

She may or may not have a BF, that doesn't usually make a difference when chatting or in general conversation, but will need addressing if you want to ask her out. Setting your frame as non-judgemental and it being acceptable to go for a casual drink with a girl with a BF etc.

The lack of interest is more likely that she was shy, or, what I have commonly found is that attractive girls get hit on by guys so often that they never actually learn to show interest or escalate the interaction by smiling and engaging in return questions. There are so many calibrated guys that don't care if she shows interest, they just steam roller ahead all the same.

My advice is carry on as you are, if you see her again be friendly and talk to her on 3 occasions during your/her work out if possible and without being overly attentive. On arrival, again say 20 minutes later part way through and then also to say goodbye. Even if she has a BF and he is with her you can still say Hi now you've met. Assuming the BF isn't with her you can ask her for a coffee/drink when you say goodbye if you feel she's interested due to having shown some investment (asking you questions about you), if not just say "see you next time". I often say good bye with an "I'm off now, I'm in again Friady, maybe I'll see you then" said with a warm smile. If she turns up then that's a good indication she's interested, although you may still need to deal with the BF issue.

I have a lot of success with social circle where you are always friendly, cheerful, positive and pleased to see someone, but never show clingy or neediness. Sometimes it's been a fair few occasions before I ask someone out, sometimes it's first night, it's very dependent on her investment level and the interaction you have.

 

[Skjöldr]

The lack of interest is more likely that she was shy, or, what I have commonly found is that attractive girls get hit on by guys so often that they never actually learn to show interest or escalate the interaction by smiling and engaging in return questions. There are so many calibrated guys that don't care if she shows interest, they just steam roller ahead all the same.

Extremely true.

OP, chat her up a few times and ask her out. You can do it the next time. However you feel like.

 

[ProblemSolving]

So I went up to talk to her later, asked how her workout was and she was smiling and friendly but never made an effort to ask about me, continue the conversation.

DO NOT take this as a sign of disinterest. She could be shy, or nervous, or intimidated by a guy she finds really attractive asking her questions. Keep asking her questions and she will most likely open up.

If she was a not interested, she would find an excuse to get away from you pretty quickly.

Also it's worth noting that when we talked she kind of seem a little uninterested, I didnt get any strong indicators of interest. So what's going on?

She was most likely on the verge of autorejection. Whenever a girl gives strong signs of interest, she feels a little embarrassed which causes her to act a little cold until you respond with equal interest. If you keep asking her questions, she will usually warm up.

In her mind, she was holding a big blinking 100 kilowatt sign that reads, "I'm interested. Come talk to me!"

You asking her how her workout was going was like a 10 watt light bulb signal of interest. Major power imbalance. If you want her to show more interest, you are going to need to show more yourself.

At this point, she more than likely has autorejected. You usually only have one shot after she gives you a strong signal and the quicker you respond, the better.

 

[Skills]

Or it could be this, take a look at this post please

Socializing - The fake negative approach invite

ok guys remember when corvette/illuminatus explained about approach invites that Women do become sexually aroused by the presence of a guy who either subcommunicates alpha traits or just looks good to her in some way. It happens in microseconds, just the same as it does in men when they see a...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[DarkKnight]

Or it could be this, take a look at this post please

Socializing - The fake negative approach invite

ok guys remember when corvette/illuminatus explained about approach invites that Women do become sexually aroused by the presence of a guy who either subcommunicates alpha traits or just looks good to her in some way. It happens in microseconds, just the same as it does in men when they see a...

www.skilledseducer.com

No. I agree with @ProblemSolving as this happened to me too in the gym (way back..) Basically girl kept smiling and being nervous/anticipating and I go talk with her about the exercise or machine she is using (I know terrible). She went into autorejection very fast after that. Assumed I am not interested enough, which despite her beauty was probably right. What I am trying to say is I recognize this dynamic.

 

[Skills]

No. I agree with @ProblemSolving as this happened to me too in the gym (way back..) Basically girl kept smiling and being nervous/anticipating and I go talk with her about the exercise or machine she is using (I know terrible). She went into autorejection very fast after that. Assumed I am not interested enough, which despite her beauty was probably right. What I am trying to say is I recognize this dynamic.

happened to me at the gym too... She had a boyfriend at the gym...

 

[DarkKnight]

happened to me at the gym too... She had a boyfriend at the gym...

This one didnt have a boyfriend at the gym, just some dude who wanted to game her and became angry at me for talking to her lol. So yeah, just trying to chime in with my experience which seemed similar .

 

[Skills]

This one didnt have a boyfriend at the gym, just some dude who wanted to game her and became angry at me for talking to her lol. So yeah, just trying to chime in with my experience which seemed similar .

My point is there are many possibilities of what could have happened... at this point he need to continue to say hi at gym body language wise and try to make small talk..

 

[ProblemSolving]

I completely understand what you mean by involuntary approach invitations. Women will look at guys that they find attractive - it's done without conscious thought. She could potentially want to meet you or she could just be momentarily enjoying the sights.

HOWEVER, I guarantee you that killerman did not believe that this girl's approach invitations were involuntary. He was the only one there to know for sure.

Catching a girl staring at you while you work out - potentially involuntary (could or could not be an ai)

Catching a girl staring at you multiple times while you work out - voluntary (ai confirmed)

 

[Skills]

I completely understand what you mean by involuntary approach invitations. Women will look at guys that they find attractive - it's done without conscious thought. She could potentially want to meet you or she could just be momentarily enjoying the sights.

HOWEVER, I guarantee you that killerman did not believe that this girl's approach invitations were involuntary. He was the only one there to know for sure.

Catching a girl staring at you while you work out - potentially involuntary (could or could not be an ai)

Catching a girl staring at you multiple times while you work out - voluntary (ai confirmed)

That is not what i said in the post, anyways i am a gym virgin, dont care nor have i try to get women at the gym.... but there was a girl dooing exactly what the op is saying to the point i was going to approach... as i finally was going to approach and use @Skjöldr opener cause he banged a gym girl around that time "i have not seen you at this gym before" as i am about to open boyfriend appear.... it could be a million things but her response per op was not intersted, no giving anything...

 

[Skills]

mrs. skills take, she had guys come up to her at gym: https://voca.ro/1gRthc58dOhX

 

[killerman]

Hey guys, thought I'd give you guys an update. Went to the gym this morning, and the girl was there again. However this time she was there with some gym regular who's been going for years who I've kind of talked to and said hi a few times. Wanted to approach but the guy was there. So the question is is he the boyfriend or some random who's trying to smash? To be honest I dont know. Although there are a few objective facts which I know which could help me figure out if he is or not or if she prefers me and wants me.

1. They were talking quite a bit
2. He arrived late and she left early
3. There was a bit of touching, especially when she left they were hugging I think, but no kissing.
4. It looked like he was training her.
5. She only took her top off and revealed her sports bra soon after I came in
6. She kept on checking me out AGAIN multiple times as I was working out. I could see from corner of my eyes, I could just feel her eyes on me.

Personally I think he was attempting a pickup. Why? Because a) there was no kissing (as far as I could see) when she left
and b) she left early. If they went in to train together as a couple why did he come in after her and why did she leave before he finished? Also if she started training before he arrived she would have been there for a while so why did she take her top off soon after I arrived? Also her checking me out constantly as I was working out, she was not giving him her full attention. I really wanted to approach her this time and go for the number but him being there threw a spanner in the works. So what do you guys think is the situation? Is he boyfriend/lover or just a guy aggressively trying to pick her up (if he is kudos to him for going physical so early)?

 

[killerman]

@Skills Can you get Mrs Skills to give an update?

 

[Searcher]

This whole thread makes me think whether being the biggest looking guy in the gym makes girls give more IOI's?

As in whether game can make a skinnier guy out-game guys who are bigger.
(Especially these days when the whole PUA and game is getting mainstream, almost every guy knows about cold approach pickup)

 

[Skills]

Hey guys, thought I'd give you guys an update. Went to the gym this morning, and the girl was there again. However this time she was there with some gym regular who's been going for years who I've kind of talked to and said hi a few times. Wanted to approach but the guy was there. So the question is is he the boyfriend or some random who's trying to smash? To be honest I dont know. Although there are a few objective facts which I know which could help me figure out if he is or not or if she prefers me and wants me.

1. They were talking quite a bit
2. He arrived late and she left early
3. There was a bit of touching, especially when she left they were hugging I think, but no kissing.
4. It looked like he was training her.
5. She only took her top off and revealed her sports bra soon after I came in
6. She kept on checking me out AGAIN multiple times as I was working out. I could see from corner of my eyes, I could just feel her eyes on me.

Personally I think he was attempting a pickup. Why? Because a) there was no kissing (as far as I could see) when she left
and b) she left early. If they went in to train together as a couple why did he come in after her and why did she leave before he finished? Also if she started training before he arrived she would have been there for a while so why did she take her top off soon after I arrived? Also her checking me out constantly as I was working out, she was not giving him her full attention. I really wanted to approach her this time and go for the number but him being there threw a spanner in the works. So what do you guys think is the situation? Is he boyfriend/lover or just a guy aggressively trying to pick her up (if he is kudos to him for going physical so early)?

- it could be a gym regular just interacting, why don't you say "hey you again, hi, i met your bf before his a cool guy" or something like that, if she denies is not her bf... don't go for the number until she gives you couple of iois other than looking at you...

 

[killerman]

cheers, sounds good, i'll use that line next time I see her. however if she denies he's the bf wouldnt it be better to go for the number there as she's given me enough IOS already?

 

[killerman]

This whole thread makes me think whether being the biggest looking guy in the gym makes girls give more IOI's?

As in whether game can make a skinnier guy out-game guys who are bigger.
(Especially these days when the whole PUA and game is getting mainstream, almost every guy knows about cold approach pickup)

how about being the biggest, most muscular/ripped guy in the gym as well as the guy in the gym with the best game? why not pick both?

 

[Skjöldr]

@killerman If there is no boyfriend, go for it.

 

[DarkKnight]

This whole thread makes me think whether being the biggest looking guy in the gym makes girls give more IOI's?

"Big" doesnt correlate to attraction. Rather be a tiger instead of an elephant. Also I am just looking back and never actually saw the huge guys cleaning up or anything. So I would not worry about this. Actually found a lot of those dudes to be insecure. What they did try to do at times was trying to amog little guys in order to prevent them from gaming girls. Chase has a beautiful article about "average guys, fighters and lovers". Fighters basically try to intimidate lovers and ironically bodybuilding types are rarely fighters just posturers. So best is just not to worry about them.

Also a lot of guys know about cold approach but dont have the balls and if they have the balls they stick at polite talk. So interactions are different than on the surface.

Best is just to work on your fundamentals and not mind other men unless they really interfere directly. Otherwise it is indirect competition and who dares first.