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FR  Date ended up just friendly

TylerDurden

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
38
Hi,
This girl is the cousin of my sister's boyfriend. He presented us through facebook.
We talked a lot, got along pretty good and tried to set up a date. But then she flaked a lot, hours before she would come up with some excuse and re-schedule for other day (she was the one that tried to)
I got tired and stopped talking to her for a few weeks, then started talking again, didn't mention a date. And suddenly one day she talked to me first and in the conversation she said "we still have to meet up!" So we set up a date for a few days later. The idea was a coffee, though we also ended up playing a pool game close to where the cafe is.
I tried to talk little and let her do the talking and more or less I got it good, asking little and just hearing while walking around town. But then the problem came when we had to decide where to go, we were walking to one direction (aimlessly) when she said while walking
She: Where should we go?
I: Do you like to play pool?
She: Yes! though I'm not very good
I: No problem, Let's go to "bar 1" to play some
She: But that's to the opposite side

Then it became awkward, there was also "bar2", which was the way we were going, so I tried to go there instead, but it was like, "so where should we go?" and didn't have enough confidence/dominance to do it nicely.
It was a little short awkward moment tough, nothing big. Then we got to "bar2" and played some. Tried to enter the wrong door (I need to guide better lol). Had fun, chatted and had a nice time as far as I know.
Then we went to the coffee shop, and we sat in front of each other. There was some nice conversation and lots of eye contact, but no sexual vibe, or frames, and very little flirty vibe, it felt a bit like talking to a good friend.
Also whenever we crossed street I would put my hand in her back and also touch her shoulder/hips when making a point.
After that I took her to a park and we sat next to each other in a bench, I was planning to lock some eye contact, get closer and go for the kiss.
But she didn't look at me directly, she looked away and kept talking. I put my hand behind her without touching her (leaning on the bench). But didn't grab enough courage to actually put my arm around her (Should i have?)
I couldn't get her to look at me or point her body at me, so we just kept talking for a bit until we both had to go home.
I can't get that sexual/flirty vibe going easily, but each time it's a bit better. This time for example I talked less and tried to be a bit calmer and less emotional. Thad helped but I think I need to show interest more directly, and more physically.

After a few hours, I texted her and received by mistake a text meant for her friend that said "nope, nothing happened, I even got bored at one point" Which I guess was about me. That I think, means that she wanted/expected something to happen and got disappointed. This is another argument in favor of being more aggressive/interested.

A final question, would trying to set up a second date be worth it? one where I do things more agressively, or what should I do if I get in another date with her?
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
340
I think you missed an escalation window somewhere. I wouldn't know where it was because you're not able to write every detail, but there must have been a subtle hint during the pool playing or conversation that you missed to up things up.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

TylerDurden

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
38
There was some change of attitude in the middle of the date, there was probably some escalation window in there. Thanks for the advce
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
340
I have to ask, was there tons of flirting while you played pool because playing pool is a really good way to break touch barriers and overall amp the sexual vibe.
 

TylerDurden

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
38
Sadly no, there was little flirting, there was a little bit of a vibe from time to time, but no flirting as chase frames or implied interest or nothing sexual.
There was some touch tough, for example when I had to pass behind her to make a throw I would put my hand in her back and such.
But nothing too heavy.
 

Mr. Wes

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 21, 2012
Messages
340
I see. Yea man, I think during the pool game you could've gone all out with some flirting. Like: let's make a bet..every time I score one, you kiss me and every time you score one, I kiss you. Let's see how good of a kisser you are ;)"
Or some kind of investment. It doesn't necessarily have to be kissing if that's a little too fast.
 
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