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Date strategy questions - Avoiding the boyfriend frame & 3 bounce technique vs just go to a bar

Orgasmatron

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 13, 2021
Messages
309
Hey hey hey,

The girl

So, I have a date on Saturday with girl I matched with on Hinge. 32, pretty cute. Girl seems pretty invested, we've been chit-chatting a bit on whattsap, just what have you been up to kindof stuff. I was basically trying to keep things ticking along, as she couldn't come out last weekend.

She answers back pretty quickly, even when she's at work, lots of smiley faces from her, lols at my jokes (although, tbf, I am hilarious).
There's nothing on her profile to say she's just looking for a husband, but also nothing to suggest she's just looking for a good time.

The frame

But she's been asking a few 'potential boyfriend' type questions, like if I'd been married before (i'm divorced), if I had kids (nope!).
I might be reading too much into it, and she just wants to check that I'm not a dick.

So, I'm quite keen to avoid being seen as 'the boyfriend' and want to be 'guy who is cool to hook up with every now and again'

I realise I have to frame it as she is entering my world, rather than the other way around, but still new to the idea of them chasing me.

Any tips for this? Or pitfalls to avoid?


The Date

Was on a date recently (my first in quite a while) and had no plan, we went to bar in the afternoon and just ended up getting very drunk, which wasn't really what I had in mind. So, I'm keen to avoid that happening again.

I've suggested a walk and a few drinks near where I live, said I'd flirt with her a bit. She's up for that.

So I'm thinking try the 3 bounce thing, meet in my local area (it's a nice part of town) for coffee, maybe a walk in nearby park, then some drinks at bar near me, then back to mine (well that's the plan anyway).

I've got the articles by @POB and @Skills about the 3 bounce technique.

Not sure, when is best to start? early afternoon? what about food?

It's either that, or drinks in early evening at bar near me, then back to mine (hopefully).

If you guys have any suggestions about how best to approach this, then I'm all ears.

Thanks
 

ulrich

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,760
I think that’s a sound approach.
The 3 bounce technique is definitely a solid one and the progression you have planned is pretty good.

So just some basic pointers:
- Be open to change the next venue to adapt what is happening.
Is this going too slow? Don’t take her home just yet.
Is she showing sexual interest from the start? Skip the bar.
You get it.

- For food, you can either get something small in the bar so it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to get her drunk or you can use it as an excuse to get her to your place.
“You know, I make the best quesadillas in town”

- Past certain age, I think it’s pretty normal to get the married and kids questions… I get them sometimes and I am only 35.
There’s gotta be a reason why you’re still playing the field past your early thirties. It doesn’t have to be a deep reason I guess… just a reason.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,075
Hey hey hey,

The girl

So, I have a date on Saturday with girl I matched with on Hinge. 32, pretty cute. Girl seems pretty invested, we've been chit-chatting a bit on whattsap, just what have you been up to kindof stuff. I was basically trying to keep things ticking along, as she couldn't come out last weekend.

She answers back pretty quickly, even when she's at work, lots of smiley faces from her, lols at my jokes (although, tbf, I am hilarious).
There's nothing on her profile to say she's just looking for a husband, but also nothing to suggest she's just looking for a good time.

The frame

But she's been asking a few 'potential boyfriend' type questions, like if I'd been married before (i'm divorced), if I had kids (nope!).
I might be reading too much into it, and she just wants to check that I'm not a dick.

So, I'm quite keen to avoid being seen as 'the boyfriend' and want to be 'guy who is cool to hook up with every now and again'

I realise I have to frame it as she is entering my world, rather than the other way around, but still new to the idea of them chasing me.

Any tips for this? Or pitfalls to avoid?


The Date

Was on a date recently (my first in quite a while) and had no plan, we went to bar in the afternoon and just ended up getting very drunk, which wasn't really what I had in mind. So, I'm keen to avoid that happening again.

I've suggested a walk and a few drinks near where I live, said I'd flirt with her a bit. She's up for that.

So I'm thinking try the 3 bounce thing, meet in my local area (it's a nice part of town) for coffee, maybe a walk in nearby park, then some drinks at bar near me, then back to mine (well that's the plan anyway).

I've got the articles by @POB and @Skills about the 3 bounce technique.

Not sure, when is best to start? early afternoon? what about food?

It's either that, or drinks in early evening at bar near me, then back to mine (hopefully).

If you guys have any suggestions about how best to approach this, then I'm all ears.

Thanks
Well your order i would re arrenge first coffee, then bar, last park... you dont have to have coffee me and the date really never order coffee, is just to make the meet easy... then bar and then park... schedule date in ways you avoid dinner, meals cause a girl full will help you cock block yourself pre meeting say you want to avoid dinner cause there is nothong sexy about talking and eating in front of each other... if you havr to eat make sure is something lite like tacos... but best to avoid... best evining dates post dinner,to avoid dinner watch my video on the 3
Bounce:


 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

TomInHo

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 13, 2021
Messages
665
3 Bounce Method is cool but I personally try to set sexual frames through text to shift the girls perception of me. Especially when they ask provider type questions

Provider Questions
What do you do for work? Exotic Dancer (Then set chase frames of her helping me with my routine)

What do you do for fun? Blah, Blah.. How about you? What currently excites you more than eating, sleeping and picking up sexy guys online? (More Chase Frames)

Do you want kids? Of course! I want to have kids from multiple beautiful women. The world needs more humans with exceptional genes

Why are you single? Life is too crazy and busy for a girlfriend right now... It wouldn't be fair to her (Stole this from Chase)

From my experience, older women are better at putting men into boxes.. Just for Fun Vs Serious, and if you frame yourself correctly you can actually skip the date and have her come straight to your place or at worst meet at a local bar for 20 minutes then come back home for the lay.

Also, If you're getting a lot of BF type questions you may want to revise your profile and sexualize it a bit more. As in set subtle sexual frames through your bio and pictures...

When I started doing that, I actually had girls invite me straight to their place, or come over to mine with minimal text exchanges because they knew exactly what I was selling

TLDR Setting proper sexual frames through your profile, bio and texting can save you a lot of time with online dating
 
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