Dating girls with higher attraction value when just starting out?

[Blush]

Journal, question, "field observation", whatever, just thought that this situation is starting to become a bit interesting:

I've been seeing (and sleeping with) a really hot girl lately. With "really hot" I mean guys turn their heads after her as we walk by, she did some modelling in her teens, she gets hit on all the time by co workers, she gets invited to celebrity dating apps etc.

As a contrast, I'm a pretty average looking guy. I'm lanky (6.1 ft, 153 lbs), kinda boyish energy and general vibe. The things I got going for me naturally, and the only things I've naturally received compliments for from women are my humour, openness, and curiosity.
I didn't exactly"game" this girl either, we met through a work related project and had instant good vibes. In seduction terms, maybe one would say that I'm dating a girl with "higher attraction value" than myself.

So this is quite the new experience for me.
I was completely out of the game and stuck in whole other issues during my twenties, got into game and seduction as late as when I turned 33 or something. And just when starting out, I manage to hook up with this super hot girl I never would have guessed would respond to my shaky moves. I guess timing and just chemistry played it's part.

This is all fun and well, but at the same time, the situation feels a bit off.

I think it has to do with frame. What frame she holds, and what frame I could or should set. She knows that I know about her reality. Attractive, rich, even famous guys is just a swipe away for her. Sure, we've had sex several times, and she's even acted nervous around me when we have, but it gets a bit weird for me to act like I'm some kind of prize here. I feel more like an intern. She can tell I like her, and when I like girls I want to express it. I don't like cold relationships, even if they're casual.

She has stated she don't want to be exclusive (duh) and tbh I don't want that either since I'm just beginning to learn game. But what I DO want is to keep her around (duh), and to keep a good frame. She's fun, sexy, and honestly it's like a learning experience to date a girl who's this well aware of her own beauty, and how it always gets her the things she wants out of life.

This girl talks about other guys she thinks are hot in front of me. She talks about how she always gets bored and wants to stray when she's in relationships. She talks about her super moody temperament. It's like she wants to disqualify herself completely. To be honest, it feels like she wants to frame herself as a fuckboy who I should stay away from. Of course I refuse to act like I have an audience with the queen when I see her, but I always feel this evolves into a stubborn and foolish frame battle.

Sure, I could soft next her and move on because of this behaviour, but why? Because I've bitten off a girl more than I can chew? It feels like ejecting from a ride that gets too wild. You could try to learn from it instead.
What type of frame would you hold against a girl who seemingly tries to game you like this?

 

[Skills]

I've been seeing (and sleeping with) a really hot girl lately. With "really hot" I mean guys turn their heads after her as we walk by, she did some modelling in her teens, she gets hit on all the time by co workers, she gets invited to celebrity dating apps etc.

As a contrast, I'm a pretty average looking guy. I'm lanky (6.1 ft, 153 lbs), kinda boyish energy and general vibe. The things I got going for me naturally, and the only things I've naturally received compliments for from women are my humour, openness, and curiosity.
I didn't exactly"game" this girl either, we met through a work related project and had instant good vibes. In seduction terms, maybe one would say that I'm dating a girl with "higher attraction value" than myself.

So this is quite the new experience for me.
I was completely out of the game and stuck in whole other issues during my twenties, got into game and seduction as late as when I turned 33 or something. And just when starting out, I manage to hook up with this super hot girl I never would have guessed would respond to my shaky moves. I guess timing and just chemistry played it's part.

This is all fun and well, but at the same time, the situation feels a bit off.

I think it has to do with frame. What frame she holds, and what frame I could or should set. She knows that I know about her reality. Attractive, rich, even famous guys is just a swipe away for her. Sure, we've had sex several times, and she's even acted nervous around me when we have, but it gets a bit weird for me to act like I'm some kind of prize here. I feel more like an intern.

She has stated she don't want to be exclusive (duh) and tbh I don't want that either since I'm just beginning to learn game. But what I DO want is to keep her around (duh), and to keep a good frame. She's fun, sexy, and honestly it's like a learning experience to date a girl who's this well aware of her own beauty, and how it always gets her the things she wants out of life.

This girl talks about other guys she thinks are hot in front of me. She talks about how she always gets bored and wants to stray when she's in relationships. She talks about her super moody temperament. It's like she wants to disqualify herself completely. To be honest, it feels like she wants to frame herself as a fuckboy who I should stay away from. Of course I refuse to act like I have an audience with the queen when I see her, but I always feel this evolves into a stubborn and foolish frame battle.

Sure, I could soft next her and move on because of this behaviour, but why? Because I've bitten off a girl more than I can chew? It feels like ejecting from a ride that gets too wild. You could try to learn from it instead.
What type of frame would you hold against a girl who seemingly tries to game you like this?

This is affecting you that is the problem i see here... the difference with you and guys that are advance is that they are stoic and shrug aka indiference.... when she feels the indiference she gets more attracted.... there is no reason to soft next her... and a good mindset to have is that you are enough, you can also reframe things like she is the one lucky to have you and your attitude no matter what, is that she can walk away and you will be happy for her... for now keep her fucking her good and often and implement what i told you, that is in your control...that is the whole point of seductuon to hit above your smv....

 

[POB]

Every time I though to myself: "how the hell am I getting THIS girl", fast forward some months and it changes to: "Yep, she's just like the rest...maybe a little prettier, but whatever".

It's all in our heads really. Flip the frame to what Skills said.
Stop caring that much, go do your shit regardless.
Men's ceiling is way higher than chicks.
Our prime last longer.

Í also started late (32yo), but now at 43 Í feel that I'm really hitting my prime.
You have plenty of time to improve.

 

[Blush]

Every time I though to myself: "how the hell am I getting THIS girl", fast forward some months and it changes to: "Yep, she's just like the rest...maybe a little prettier, but whatever".

It's all in our heads really. Flip the frame to what Skills said.
Stop caring that much, go do your shit regardless.
Men's ceiling is way higher than chicks.
Our prime last longer.

Í also started late (32yo), but now at 43 Í feel that I'm really hitting my prime.
You have plenty of time to improve.

Well...They're just like the rest, except for the fact that whenever they like they can just walk out and hook up with a super high value guy, right?

I'm thinking about this recent article up on girlschase.com "8 tradeoffs in Girls men must choose between in LTRs", one of them being
high beauty VS low maintenance. A high beauty girl might be of the same moral fibre, with the same wants and same hopes and fears as all other girls, but surely the high beauty thing will always affect their behaviour in profound ways? More tests, more "I won't stop window shopping for men til I'm the queen of this whole world" mindset, higher standards, a certain psyche forged from being put on piedestals since a very young age.

If you start acting aloof or like YOU are the prize around such a girl...Well, that's advanced game, it might work if you happen to be some sort of extra high value man, but otherwise, well I have a feeling the high maintenance problem and frame battle will have to be dealt way in some way.

 

[TheEcho]

Afraid to Talk to Hot Girls? Know THESE 5 Key Things

Are you scared to talk to hot girls? Don’t chicken out for the best-looking chicks. Use these 5 keys to chat up THE hottest girls today. After all – they’re only girls! On a recent article of mine, a reader named Johnny writes Hey Chase, I noticed something in my approach with girls and even...

www.girlschase.com

Plot twist, you give off what you truly feel like

 

[Blush]

Afraid to Talk to Hot Girls? Know THESE 5 Key Things

Are you scared to talk to hot girls? Don’t chicken out for the best-looking chicks. Use these 5 keys to chat up THE hottest girls today. After all – they’re only girls! On a recent article of mine, a reader named Johnny writes Hey Chase, I noticed something in my approach with girls and even...

www.girlschase.com

This article covers fears and anxiety around talking to hot girls you don't know. Good advice in there on not to make nervous assumptions of a girl based on just looks instead of shooting your shot. But I'm not making up assumptions around an unknown girl in the above mentioned situation.
I know pretty much about her social/romantic life already. Rather I'm trying to figure out how to manage dating girls who gets flooded with opportunity without loosing your cool.

 

[TheEcho]

If she's unfaithful, that's that. Let her solve that headache for you if she is like that. The best thing you can do is be like "wow, a girl like this has picked me over these others?" "I must be more awesome than I thought" and then disconnect the thought from relying on her/others and run with that confidence in yourself. The worst thing you can do is get mopey and worried.

 

[POB]

Well...They're just like the rest, except for the fact that whenever they like they can just walk out and hook up with a super high value guy, right?

Well, YOU can also walk away with a super high value girl, right?
Or at least you should.

A high beauty girl might be of the same moral fibre, with the same wants and same hopes and fears as all other girls, but surely the high beauty thing will always affect their behaviour in profound ways?

Yes, usually they:
- have weaker game;
- have weaker interpersonal skills;
- think the world must serve them just because they are pretty
(this one is not enterely their fault tbh).

More tests, more "I won't stop window shopping for men til I'm the queen of this whole world" mindset, higher standards, a certain psyche forged from being put on piedestals since a very young age.

You can easily break this kind of behavior with good frame control.

If you start acting aloof or like YOU are the prize around such a girl...Well, that's advanced game, it might work if you happen to be some sort of extra high value man, but otherwise, well I have a feeling the high maintenance problem and frame battle will have to be dealt way in some way.

No need to act aloof if you clearly have more important things going on in your life:
- fitness
- business
- hobbies
- family
etc

Once you figure that out, damn, they really won't be your number one priority (and they'll feel it through your behavior).

My guess is her being super pretty is not the real problem here...having this kind of girl in your arm can expose a lot of our own masculine insecurities. Could that be the case?
(not making fun, cause I've been through this phase myself in the past).

 

[Blush]

You can easily break this kind of behavior with good frame control.

And what would be a good frame control dealing with this kind of behaviour? That's what I'm pondering here. When a girl talks to you about other guys for example, this can be interpreted in lots of different ways. A test? A way of saying "I'm afraid you will fall in love with me and become boring", a way of creating jealousy, a qualifier, a disqualifier etc.

Well, YOU can also walk away with a super high value girl, right?
Or at least you should.

My game is very much at beginner level, I was quite the nerdy loner my whole twenties, so I have a long way to go. I may know how to use some charm, but I'm really not at a point where I could walk out the door and easily pick up super high value girls. That doesn't mean I'm not trying. As I said, conscious game/seduction was not what made me hook up with this girl. It was something else, maybe she gets turned on by work flings or whatever.

Yes, usually they:
- have weaker game;
- have weaker interpersonal skills;
- think the world must serve them just because they are pretty

Funny you say that, my experience is quite the opposite. Especially this girl, you can see she has fine tuned her ability to wrap men (especially older men) around her little finger all her life, and knows exactly which buttons to push. It's her number one social tool if you will.

My guess is her being super pretty is not the real problem here...having this kind of girl in your arm can expose a lot of our own masculine insecurities. Could that be the case?
(not making fun, cause I've been through this phase myself in the past).

Well, if I would try to interpret my inner insecurities right now, it would translate to something like "if a girl like this one, who can pick and choose from so many men decided to hook up with me, a pretty shy and nerdy guy, it's probably not because I'm extra hot, extra exciting or super high value, but rather because I happened to make her feel a certain way, and she liked that. And now I want to continue making her feel that way, but I have no good method in figuring out how." Sure, I could interview her on exactly what made her interested, but that kind of Frankenstein level of game post-analysis is not something I'm in the mood for atm..

 

[TheEcho]

She sounds like a headache. But my drama tolerance isn't very high after having a high-drama girlfriend that just brought headaches and not much more than my low-drama ex did

 

[Blush]

She sounds like a headache. But my drama tolerance isn't very high after having a high-drama girlfriend that just brought headaches and not much more than my a low-drama ex did

I'm not really looking for a girlfriend, not a monogamous LTR that is. So like I said it feels like a fun learning experience to date and figure out things about girls who's behaviour feels a bit new or challenging in some way.

 

[POB]

And what would be a good frame control dealing with this kind of behaviour?

Three things you can do:

1) Remove attention every time she mentions other dudes.
Not because you are butthurt, but because you have better things to do than listen to her crap.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Ok" unimpressed, don't even look at her.
If she continues
You: "Cool, but look, I have to go meet my friend in 15, we gonna watch a movie.
We can expand on this conversation later ok?."

2) Amplify and expose.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Really? Do you think he has a big john?"
Her: surprised..."yes, I think he does"
You: Nice! We should get him to join us for a 3 way-fun.
Better yet, we can ask if he can bring a hot friend so we can swap girls, that would be dope!"
Her: What??
You: "Yeah, like you, I also don't feel like going traditional right now....let's have some fun instead."

3) The poke fun way.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Damn, he is! Wish I was gay so I could fuck him too."
(now you flip the script)
Her: What?
You: Yeah, tell me who wouldn't suck on those awesome nipples?
(Have a laugh together)

That's what I'm pondering here. When a girl talks to you about other guys for example, this can be interpreted in lots of different ways. A test? A way of saying "I'm afraid you will fall in love with me and become boring", a way of creating jealousy, a qualifier, a disqualifier etc.

Too much thinking from you.
Who cares about her motives?
She is a woman, she doesn't need to make sense.

My girl talks about other dudes sometimes with me.
If I'm bored, I shrug without even looking at her.
If I'm in the mood, I start to poke fun at her and the guy...I even start to picture them together
(it always becomes more fun for me, she hates it of course).
Either way, she then proceeds to suck my cock and put her ass up so I can fuck her doggy.

TBH, this is normal ABC for girls these days....we shouldn't pay too much attention to it really.
Just focus and observe her behavior and the sex frequency.

My game is very much at beginner level, I was quite the nerdy loner my whole twenties, so I have a long way to go. I may know how to use some charm, but I'm really not at a point where I could walk out the door and easily pick up super high value girls. That doesn't mean I'm not trying.

Cool, but you are acknowledging the problem.
Now it's time to take action.
This is the important part.

As I said, conscious game/seduction was not what made me hook up with this girl. It was something else, maybe she gets turned on by work flings or whatever.

Not relevant.
You are in this situation, now you have to deal with it.
This is what matters.

Funny you say that, my experience is quite the opposite. Especially this girl, you can see she has fine tuned her ability to wrap men (especially older men) around her little finger all her life, and knows exactly which buttons to push. It's her number one social tool if you will.

She said she has found a way to get the guys she wants, ok.
But if you probe her, I'm pretty sure she's been rejected more than once by high value guys who know their shit and have figured out her schemes. Also, if she is so keen to getting high value guys, why hasn't she found the one to keep yet?

Well, if I would try to interpret my inner insecurities right now, it would translate to something like "if a girl like this one, who can pick and choose from so many men decided to hook up with me, a pretty shy and nerdy guy, it's probably not because I'm extra hot, extra exciting or super high value, but rather because I happened to make her feel a certain way, and she liked that.

I'm introvert and nerdy.
Not relevant.
You probably have way more masculine qualities than you give yourself credit for, believe me.

And now I want to continue making her feel that way, but I have no good method in figuring out how." Sure, I could interview her on exactly what made her interested, but that kind of Frankenstein level of game post-analysis is not something I'm in the mood for atm..

Why care?
She is in, but she is giving you trouble.
Either you correct course and try to get the best of it, or keep suffering untill it ends.

 

[Skills]

Three things you can do:

1) Remove attention every time she mentions other dudes.
Not because you are butthurt, but because you have better things to do than listen to her crap.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Ok" unimpressed, don't even look at her.
If she continues
You: "Cool, but look, I have to go meet my friend in 15, we gonna watch a movie.
We can expand on this conversation later ok?."

2) Amplify and expose.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Really? Do you think he has a big john?"
Her: surprised..."yes, I think he does"
You: Nice! We should get him to join us for a 3 way-fun.
Better yet, we can ask if he can bring a hot friend so we can swap girls, that would be dope!"
Her: What??
You: "Yeah, like you, I also don't feel like going traditional right now....let's have some fun instead."

3) The poke fun way.
Her: "This guy is so hot, I want to fuck him!"
You: "Damn, he is! Wish I was gay so I could fuck him too."
(now you flip the script)
Her: What?
You: Yeah, tell me who wouldn't suck on those awesome nipples?
(Have a laugh together)

Too much thinking from you.
Who cares about her motives?
She is a woman, she doesn't need to make sense.

My girl talks about other dudes sometimes with me.
If I'm bored, I shrug without even looking at her.
If I'm in the mood, I start to poke fun at her and the guy...I even start to picture them together
(it always becomes more fun for me, she hates it of course).
Either way, she then proceeds to suck my cock and put her ass up so I can fuck her doggy.

TBH, this is normal ABC for girls these days....we shouldn't pay too much attention to it really.
Just focus and observe her behavior and the sex frequency.

Cool, but you are acknowledging the problem.
Now it's time to take action.
This is the important part.

Not relevant.
You are in this situation, now you have to deal with it.
This is what matters.

She said she has found a way to get the guys she wants, ok.
But if you probe her, I'm pretty sure she's been rejected more than once by high value guys who know their shit and have figured out her schemes. Also, if she is so keen to getting high value guys, why hasn't she found the one to keep yet?

I'm introvert and nerdy.
Not relevant.
You probably have way more masculine qualities than you give yourself credit for, believe me.

Why care?
She is in, but she is giving you trouble.
Either you correct course and try to get the best of it, or keep suffering untill it ends.

^ Yeah kind of like this, op in my case when i have been in this situations i display no judgmental curiosity, ask her questions what do you like about him, isn't the way he dresss off? etc... i just ask genuine questions of curiosity in a none judgmental, no carrying way as learning what makes that other dude attractive to her (also this help you gather intelligence on her and have her open up to you).... I even give her advice as a women coach role play on how to get him...... Guess what happens?? they get onitis on me(actually this also works similar with women with bf and hubbies).... If you become reactive, if it bothers you even in your micro body language expressions, she knows she controls you and have you by the balls...... For me is easy to write this cause i have developed strong emotional control, sigma like for so much experience and brake ups were you become Icey, so is easier said that done...... So even if it goes south this is important in your path to develop this strong emotional control as you encounter more of this.... Eventually you will be on the other side, even with the same girl at times... And this also help you to see "i had girls in the other side" this help you again be more stoic... Op i notice some signs of you being a bit of askhole, don't ask question, people answer and you come up with more bs excuses, that is a horrible learning mindset... Just listen from people that have been multiple times were you are and listen with open mind vs making excuses for her and you..

 

[Will_V]

Journal, question, "field observation", whatever, just thought that this situation is starting to become a bit interesting:

I've been seeing (and sleeping with) a really hot girl lately. With "really hot" I mean guys turn their heads after her as we walk by, she did some modelling in her teens, she gets hit on all the time by co workers, she gets invited to celebrity dating apps etc.

As a contrast, I'm a pretty average looking guy. I'm lanky (6.1 ft, 153 lbs), kinda boyish energy and general vibe. The things I got going for me naturally, and the only things I've naturally received compliments for from women are my humour, openness, and curiosity.
I didn't exactly"game" this girl either, we met through a work related project and had instant good vibes. In seduction terms, maybe one would say that I'm dating a girl with "higher attraction value" than myself.

So this is quite the new experience for me.
I was completely out of the game and stuck in whole other issues during my twenties, got into game and seduction as late as when I turned 33 or something. And just when starting out, I manage to hook up with this super hot girl I never would have guessed would respond to my shaky moves. I guess timing and just chemistry played it's part.

This is all fun and well, but at the same time, the situation feels a bit off.

I think it has to do with frame. What frame she holds, and what frame I could or should set. She knows that I know about her reality. Attractive, rich, even famous guys is just a swipe away for her. Sure, we've had sex several times, and she's even acted nervous around me when we have, but it gets a bit weird for me to act like I'm some kind of prize here. I feel more like an intern. She can tell I like her, and when I like girls I want to express it. I don't like cold relationships, even if they're casual.

She has stated she don't want to be exclusive (duh) and tbh I don't want that either since I'm just beginning to learn game. But what I DO want is to keep her around (duh), and to keep a good frame. She's fun, sexy, and honestly it's like a learning experience to date a girl who's this well aware of her own beauty, and how it always gets her the things she wants out of life.

This girl talks about other guys she thinks are hot in front of me. She talks about how she always gets bored and wants to stray when she's in relationships. She talks about her super moody temperament. It's like she wants to disqualify herself completely. To be honest, it feels like she wants to frame herself as a fuckboy who I should stay away from. Of course I refuse to act like I have an audience with the queen when I see her, but I always feel this evolves into a stubborn and foolish frame battle.

Sure, I could soft next her and move on because of this behaviour, but why? Because I've bitten off a girl more than I can chew? It feels like ejecting from a ride that gets too wild. You could try to learn from it instead.
What type of frame would you hold against a girl who seemingly tries to game you like this?

I'm curious to know, why do you think she's with you over other guys?

 

[Blush]

I'm curious to know, why do you think she's with you over other guys?

I can think of lots of reasons. We met through work, pretty long tension build up before anything happened, she's a thrill seeker so maybe she gets a kick out of flirting at work. She have a history of dating older guys, I'm 10 years older and more experienced in our field of work, maybe that gets her going, she was bored and in a mood for some fun when we first met, I was the only unmarried younger guy around at the time, in a smaller city, so low competition. I had lots of time to get to know her and we had a good vibe from the start that grew into tension after a while. If like me you have your strengths in being a good conversationalist with good sense of humour, who's also kind of an introvert who tend to do subtle flirting, the conditions were almost ridiculously ideal.

We're not exclusive, she might just be with me AND other guys. I haven't pressed her for info on what she's up to between our meetups.

I don't think all guys at every given moment will need flawless game to hook up with hot girls. But because of the higher competition they'll need skills to keep them around, and to maintain good balance in the following interactions.

 

[Blush]

^ Yeah kind of like this, op in my case when i have been in this situations i display no judgmental curiosity, ask her questions what do you like about him, isn't the way he dresss off? etc... i just ask genuine questions of curiosity in a none judgmental, no carrying way as learning what makes that other dude attractive to her (also this help you gather intelligence on her and have her open up to you).... I even give her advice as a women coach role play on how to get him...... Guess what happens?? they get onitis on me(actually this also works similar with women with bf and hubbies).... If you become reactive, if it bothers you even in your micro body language expressions, she knows she controls you and have you by the balls...... For me is easy to write this cause i have developed strong emotional control, sigma like for so much experience and brake ups were you become Icey, so is easier said that done...... So even if it goes south this is important in your path to develop this strong emotional control as you encounter more of this.... Eventually you will be on the other side, even with the same girl at times... And this also help you to see "i had girls in the other side" this help you again be more stoic... Op i notice some signs of you being a bit of askhole, don't ask question, people answer and you come up with more bs excuses, that is a horrible learning mindset... Just listen from people that have been multiple times were you are and listen with open mind vs making excuses for her and you..

That's a good one with the coach role play. And yes, the non reactive way seems like the only way, but since I'm interested in why people behave the way they do I will still try to figure out the conscious or unconscious motives behind certain actions.

Bs excuses? I'm not defending my previous thoughts and actions. I just describe them, mostly to get feedback from people on here. If ones perspective or mindset is flawed, you will never discover it unless you lay it out and try to analyze it and expose it to other peoples perspectives.
I post here to challenge my habitual thoughts and reactions.

 

[Chase]

This girl sounds like one of the types we talked about the other day here.

The first time you're with a girl like this, it's kind of jarring, her talking about other dudes, openly flaunting other dudes, etc., while still seeing you.

The mind goes, "Wait, if she has these other dudes, then why is she seeing me?" Then it goes, "Well, if she's seeing me, why does she want these other dudes?" and it simply does not compute. I don't know if it's society or biology but most male brains seem to default to assuming if a girl is sexing them she will also try to rope them down.

I personally find it more helpful to plunk girls into different boxes based on their behavior:

1. "This is a girl who is looking for a relationship. I should treat her with care and as a potential serious candidate."
   
   
2. "This is a girl who is just having fun. I should treat her as a pal who is also a girl who I just happen to have sex with."

The first girls you are more caring of their emotions, more thoughtful, considerate, etc., because you know they are pinning a lot more of their hopes on you, and reading a lot more into your actions.

The second girls you don't need to do that. You can treat them like you would a buddy, joke around with them, not be so sensitive to them, not take things so personal with them or assume they will with you.

The reality is women can switch back and forth between these roles. If she waits too long for something serious with you, she may flip into "Well I guess this is just a fun thing then" and her behavior will shift. Or if she spends a while in a fun-thing relationship with you, and you have really just been treating her like your cool gal pal you also shag, she may start to catch feelings at some point -- sooner or later one of you will (your mission is to make sure it's not you first!).

The really hot girls who are players should basically just be treated as freebie learning experiences from life, if you ask me. They're the most common very hot girls for you to get when you aren't good with girls yet (because the choosier hot girls who are looking for higher levels of commitment are simply too hard for you to get -- yet), but they give you positive experiences with very good-looking girls that allow you to feel a lot more comfortable with girls like them, like @POB mentions.

Mentality-wise, just think of her as your buddy who is also hooking up with you. It's actually cool she is a buddy, not a girlfriend -- you can actually ask her about other men, find out her thoughts on men, what she likes, doesn't like, what appeals to her, etc. So long as you aren't getting jealous talking about it, you can just treat it as an educational experience, and for her part she'll probably be happy to talk about it. Even these types of girls get a little thrill telling one guy they're seeing about other guys they're seeing.

It'll give you a much more objective view of how women are.

Girls like this are outliers... but what you can learn from them, especially as an inexperienced guy, is extremely valuable.

Basically, treat her as an educational experience, and then you won't be so worried about "holding onto her" as you will just learning what you can from her to better position you to get equally good-looking or even better-looking girls in the future, who may not necessarily be as easy to end up with as she was (but who, once you're armed with the info this girl can give you, will get much easier for you).

Chase

 

[Blush]

The reality is women can switch back and forth between these roles.

This I have definitely gotten to experience being around this girl. Sometimes when we hang out she can be really affectionate, acting nervous, saying she missed me, bringing up things she wants us to do in the future etc, all genuine. Other times she acts casual, aloof, and expresses outright worry that I'll soon want to pin her down in a relationship (just like all the other guys before me perhaps). But I don't think this is a conscious push/pull play, rather just impulsiveness and quick cycling between emotional states. As it was written, changing her mind is a womans prerogative.

Cheers Chase, that's sound advice.

 

[Blush]

Thought I'd give an update on how this all played out.

After about a month of seeing this girl regularly, I noticed she suddenly started to pull away, becoming very cold all of a sudden. After not hearing from her for almost three weeks I gave her a call to check in, and she was almost like another person. She suddenly started talking about this whole thing moving too fast (lol, we met on weekends, spent the night together, and had zero contact in between). I realized this probably was the end of the line, but after that call, I couldn't get her of my mind. So later that week I wrote her a text, admitting her rapid turns had fucked with my head a little. My whole text oozed of being upset and confrontational, but since I knew it was over, I decided to speak my mind and drop any pride or "game". She then called me and we talked for a while on the phone.

I remembered she had mentioned some guy briefly, and I probed her to get the full version of what happened. Turns out she'd matched with a guy on the Raya app, invite only for celebrities/rich people (and young hot girls). He's a 34 year old tech millionaire. She said that she felt something very special on their date, something she'd never felt before, and wanted to continue down that road. And that was that.

So maybe I should've put a red pill trigger warning at the start of this post, but I hold zero grudges against this girl, and I definitely don't blame her. How could I? Of course she'll want to climb the ladder. She's a young, broke, aspiring actor. I'm an actor as well, but a very regular one, freelance and within theater. She knows he can give her an extraordinary life, filled with money, luxurious travel, high status people, and I can't offer her any of that. I can only offer her an understanding and interest in the work she does, since I'm doing the same stuff. But this girl lost both her parents when she was young, and of course she longs for a beautiful life and economic safety. This is all natural. And it taught me a few valuable lessons:

1. I really thought that I was outcome independent with this girl, but I was not, and thus I did not handle it all that well. When she turned cold and blew me off that quick, and at the same time told me about the hot shot rich boy she'd fallen for hard and fast, it got to me hard. It shook me to my core, and in the future I will be more humble, and vigilant of catching feelings, instead of telling myself "this is no big deal". I need to do some more soul searching and always be mindful when starting out new things with new girls. Otherwise I'll risk getting reactive and bitter, and that's just game over.

2. If you get involved with really attractive girls, who have a history of getting lots of doors opened just because of their looks, you will of course need to stay wary when it comes to hypergamous tendencies before you allow yourself to become vulnerable around them. I always turn into a pumping, bleeding heart around girls I'm sleeping with, and this has it's pros and cons.

3. If all else fails, even if you're angry or overwhelmed, pace yourself and TALK to the girl instead of nexting her or calling her mean things and quickly cutting all contact. Don't stop trying until you can tell she starts being sincere about what she really feels. When our last phone call finally turned from arguing to a friendly conversation, I got so much valuable information on what she had felt, how she works in relations, what I could have done different etc. Sure, I was vulnerable and admitted to her that I'd catched feelings for her, but who cares? Game was over. Instead of shrugging her off and act to proud to even care, I could at least try to learn something from her. When we both dropped our shields we had a good talk and ended on good terms. If we ever meet again, there will be no hard feelings and no bad karma stuck between us.

It was a fun ride though.

 

[Conquistador]

Wow I had a look at this Raya thing. Wild!

Seems kinda ethically sketchy and sugary but if I qualified I might apply anyway loll