Day-game Disaster

[DrippyMoonKnight]

Near the end of last school year (I'm in university), I made the mistake of using the "are you single?" line during a day game approach. This was made even more abrupt and out-of-place by the fact that I used the policeman stop just before saying it. Now, a woman who previously liked me thinks I'm strange. More important than getting her is how to make things not awkward when I see her in a few days when school resumes, and how to preserve my reputation in general so I can approach other ladies. What's your best advice?

 

[DrippyMoonKnight]

For what it's worth, I'm a paying subscriber of Girls Chase.

 

[Destiny]

For some reason I feel like this needs more context. Did you do it to the girl you mentioned? Did you do it on campus? How did the girl you did it to react?

Generally speaking, who cares? If people generally like you anything you do can be played off as an eccentricity IME.

If they usually like you just act like usual around them. If they bring it up, just shrug it off and be like "I dunno, just came out of my mouth" and act like its no big deal.

If you were doing this on campus, and you plan to do more approaches on campus however, would probably pay to be more indirect or at least look for AI's before going in so strongly.

 

[StrayDog]

Not a disaster. Just be cool if you see her around. As in mind your own business. If you directly cross paths just stroll past her like it ain't no thing. Don't look like you are forcing yourself to not look at her or something like that. Obviously don't stare. Just be natural. Don't pursue her but don't avoid her. If you happen to pass each other and she looks at you just be like acknowledge her presence and keep moving. No biggie dude.

In terms of your rep, just be more intentional with your approaches on campus.

Look dude I myself, and I am sure other experienced guys on here, have dealt with way more awkward scenarios than this. All part of the learning process. You'll learn to take it in stride.

Way to go out there and take initiative. Keep at it!

 

[Conquistador]

Near the end of last school year (I'm in university), I made the mistake of using the "are you single?" line during a day game approach. This was made even more abrupt and out-of-place by the fact that I used the policeman stop just before saying it. Now, a woman who previously liked me thinks I'm strange. More important than getting her is how to make things not awkward when I see her in a few days when school resumes, and how to preserve my reputation in general so I can approach other ladies. What's your best advice?

So you've probably done more cold approaches than I have, but I'm going to put in my two cents regardless:
-Campus day game has its own rules and a much chiller vibe. The policeman stop should only be used on campus when there is a really strong situational reason that makes it feel natural.

-Only ask a girl if she's single (especially but not only in campus day game) when there is a frame already that fits it. Unless she is dressed like a player AND is evidently attracted to you (in which case you may already have enough rapport), wait as long as possible before asking her that. Or just don't. She'll tell you if she's attached and/or not into guys when you ask her out, and if you're not creepy she'll take it as a compliment.

-I'm not sure how big, or how social, your university is. I go to a smaller junior college, where I would argue that even if you've never laid eyes on each other before, it's not a true cold approach, and shouldn't be thought of that way. Which brings me to another very important point:
-On campus, you are NOT a seducer (even if you are). You're a hot guy (if not, work on fundamentals) who's interested in a date and/or a hookup, in a place where it's totally normal to approach people for a wide variety of reasons, and where sexual anarchy and experimentation is common (according to surveys, students believe it's even more common than it is, or ever was). There's no need to immediately set a strongly sexual frame, so long as you are clearly displaying attractiveness. Especially in college, being friends is not the same as being in the friend zone. Plus, you should be getting gal pals anyway, with or without benefits. If not, I can't help you.
There's rarely any point in pushing hard for a same day hookup; if she wants one she will have one, if not not. The local watering places near campus are usually a more effective way to find a quick hookup anyway.

-About reputation. Don't be a player! Just be (or become) attractive and meet girls, hot or not, and cool guys. The numbers are very much in your favor.

Sorry for ranting but I stand by what I said, all of it. Good luck!

 

[lceman]

Near the end of last school year (I'm in university), I made the mistake of using the "are you single?" line during a day game approach. This was made even more abrupt and out-of-place by the fact that I used the policeman stop just before saying it. Now, a woman who previously liked me thinks I'm strange. More important than getting her is how to make things not awkward when I see her in a few days when school resumes, and how to preserve my reputation in general so I can approach other ladies. What's your best advice?

keep in mind that everybody responding here is a mere space monkey. and even if they were higher level, they aren't in your specific situation, so always take advice with a grain of salt, including mine of course.

for me personally, when I've fucked up on an approach on campus and see the chick again, I either pretend like we're old friends or ignore her existence completely. The first one cracks me up and surprisingly girls play along. Remember, you have no clue what she's thinking after a bad approach. Maybe it was "damn, he was cute, I wish that went somewhere". Even if it was "ew wtf? that guys weird", she might forget it in a day anyway and only vaguely remember your face when she next sees you.

As for reputation, 99% of people will assume you already knew the girl from somewhere if you stopped to talk to her on campus. And if you do manage to get a player reputation, yeah you'll get some haters, but you'll also get more girls than you would not having a vibe at all.

In conclusion, don't let fear of a bad rep stop you from approaching. When you fuck up and see the girls again, don't make it a big deal and they won't either.

 

[Beck Bass]

the "are you single?" line

I don't think that's necessarily a mistake, Ricardus from the website used that one and he was good, can't remember his handle here on the forums (or know if he's active), but pretty sure people can game off that line.

Like @StrayDog said just keep it cool. Act like you're a new better man and that was nothing but a fun little episode, she probably won't even care tbh, and if she sees you're now a cool guy she might even chase you a bit, as you already showed some interest before. It's important though to not give into the tentation of approaching her again, unless you pretty certain she's complying now. She could still think you're a weirdo and blow you off in your new uni, and this propagates a bit into your reputation (though honestly I think you should just care a bit less, young man).

Also we need more detail, just saying "she liked you" "now thinks your weird" doesn't explain anything. How did you know she liked you? How do you know how much she thinks you're a weirdo now? Maybe you're just overreacting mate...

keep in mind that everybody responding here is a mere space monkey

I was also one not long ago and it wasn't like my game was way worse, it just takes some time to get the rep on the forums. I think it's important you check the person's posts and what their game actually is like, and if it resonates with you, maybe they are completely different from you and their game has nothing to do with yours.

 

[Beam]

I don't think that's necessarily a mistake, Ricardus from the website used that one and he was good, can't remember his handle here on the forums (or know if he's active), but pretty sure people can game off that line.

He came back recently but is on and off (last active a couple weeks back). Here is his profile. From what he told me the "Are you single" opener line should only be used once you're more advanced, otherwise it will be difficult to pull it off in an attractive way. In his own words:

I went through an interesting evolution with these openers btw.

Phase 1: I had too much AA to do direct game congruently (which is the case again now). So I focused on opportunities to play indirect sets.

Phase 2: Once I had picked up some momentum, I started to do direct game with the compliment openers everyone is still teaching these days, and gradually got better and better at that, and eventually made them work pretty well.

Phase 3: Then suddenly the compliment openers stopped working for me... I got blown out left and right. And my wing helped me realize that it was because they came across TOO confident. Too smooth. Like I do it all the time.

So I added some fake hesitation to the opener and acted like I'm thinking about what to say, pretended to be a little unsure... not of myself but of my next words. And then they REALLY started hooking hard. When I had both the confidence AND the totally off-the-cuff vibe with it.

Phase 4: Once your confidence is that high... that you have to actually fake a slight lack of confidence... that's when you're ready for these hard core ballsy openers. Then they will work. Otherwise they probably won't.

Pulse 60 as MasterOfDisaster told me in a daygame session once. Zero jitters. Eye of the storm. And THEN you will get shit tests. Stay unflinching... stay totally unphased and calm... and you will get a big attraction spike.

They say game isn't about yes-girls, it's about maybe-girls... but with this kind of approach I've even flipped some no-girls. It almost never happens to them.

 

[Beck Bass]

Oooh it's @Karea Ricardus D., of course! I read his stuff on the forums recently but I was trying to tag him with "Ricard..." and nothing came up hehe.
Nice info on that opener, I myself didn't quite knew how to use.

I think a lot of the more direct openers require a tighter game plan or are more situational, because you're showing too much of your hand right away, so you better be doing it for some reason. On @DrippyMoonKnight case I guess he misread the situation and this lead to a bit of an awkward situation, but that's normal. You have to use some technique for a while to get a feel for what it really does and how to use it (and in this case, I guess it really is an opener for advanced direct players).

 

[HoofHearted]

There's no need to care so much about this my friend. Don't worry, what she thinks doesn't matter, she's just some girl. Also, about your reputation, no need to care what other people think, a lot of other people aren't good at thinking anyways.

Some stuff I've actually said:

"I can't believe you tried to hit on me!"- her
"Well, I thought it'd be easier..." - me

"You're funny. You can be my friend."
"No. Get on it, or get goin'."

I guess my suggestion is just to relax, that's what I'm trying to do. Weird shit is just part of life's story, but if you're doing weird shit maybe stop doing that. You're fine, relax.