Day Game in Detail

[silent9]

Hi guys,

Would appreciate some advice from the day gamers out there. I've recently started going out to day game on a regular basis. Initially I went around asking girls for the time to overcome approach anxiety, however I realised this didn't really make direct approaching any easier and also felt incongruent and have now just started jumping straight into it. The issue is I take so long to do approaches. I currently go out into the cbd (I live in a big city) and walk around from place to place hoping to see a girl to approach. Today I walked around for 4 hours and only approached 3 girls...

I know there's something wrong with my strategy/mentality because this is nowhere near enough approaches. On self-reflection I think some of my issues are I constantly walk around (don't want to linger in one area), try to wait for the right moment/make approaches as smooth as possible so as not to be noticed (unlike others who run up infront of girls), try and assess whether the girl is hot enough or the right age before approaching (difficult because it requires seeing the girls face before approaching) and then only approaching girls I think are worth it, and finally just straight up bitching out on approaches.

I'm really interested to hear how others go about their daygame. It would be good to know things like:

1. Planning: location (street, park, coffee shop, store etc.), time of day, logistic strategy (e.g. coffee shop ->bar -> home and distances b/w these)

2. Pre-preparation/Warming up: Working out beforehand, talking to store clerks, time/direction approaches

3. Approaching: Standing in one spot and then approaching vs. walking around, types of sets (sitting, moving), direction (behind, side-on, front-on), time from noticing girl to approaching (3 second rule or waiting for right moment)

4. Mentalities that help push through the excuses when you see that girl you want to approach

I know a lot of this would vary depending on the situation but would be good to know what people do most and what has worked the best.

Thanks!

 

[ElderPrice]

Not an expert, just a fellow noob. What pops out at me first and foremost is when you mention in your post approach anxiety, the desire to warm up, the ultimate lack of approaching, and your selectiveness, I think you should consider talking to everyone you encounter. Not literally everyone, but say hi to all those girls you see, strike up conversations, even if they're unattractive and not in your desired age range. Guys too. Just because you strike up a conversation with someone doesn't mean you HAVE to flirt, get digits, invite her over instantly, etc. Your conversation CAN be nothing more than:

Hi... How's your day going?... (you see her wearing a college shirt) Oh, you went to Example U? Go Example U!... chat about it for 5 minutes... Well I have to get going, have a great day!

 

[Marcellus]

Yo Silent,

One thing that really helped for me was going out to game with someone who had a lil bit of experience or someone who was pretty good if u know anyone like that. So if u can find a friend who's like that and trust me your progress will skyrocket. It makes approaching so much easier.

-M

 

[silent9]

Thanks for the feedback guys will try it out!

 

[foggy]

I go to locations where there is a lot of people standing around/a lot of people commuting through the area. If you don't live in a big city, you might not have the luxury of this.

It is really exhausting to walk around all day in the heat looking for women to talk to, so I like to plant myself in high traffic areas and wait for an approach invitation.

The only time I'm really down to do some walking is when I'm in a place where there's a lot of stationary targets i.e. girls sitting on benches in a park.

I'm also a fan of bus stops. The transitory nature of these environments causes women to more readily give me approach invitations. It's also pretty easy to open with a tease like, "you know, you gotta be above 5 feet to ride the next bus "

Often to get things warmed up a little bit, I'll chat with some street performers/homeless people/missionaries. They are often down for a friendly conversation and it can be fun to try to take them out of their mindset and try to game them a lil. I remember asking an 84 year old homeless lady begging for money if she was single. Hahaha.

It can be tough to motivate myself to go out and talk to girls when I really don't feel like it. It feels like the biggest chore, so I make sure to take advantage of these random urges i get to go out and approach.

Often, I feel like approaching right after a heavy workout. I get really aggressive and just wanna make bitches submit to me lol.

 

[Michal]

I usually approach when I am on my way from the office so I am already warmed up from all the meetings and calls. So talking is easy, the hard part is to actually switch to the playful, non-serious mindset, that is what I find kinda tough. I live in a city that has about 2,3m people. So I am simply going to get groceries or to meet someone. So usually I go across a big squere or metro station and if I see a girl that looks great, which I usually do (about 10 - 15 of them), I just open with something. At one point you realize that it does not matter much what you say, it is more important to have a good vibe and energy. I usually talk to like 2 to 5 of them. The rest, either they are too far or they walk in front of me a little too far (also cannot see their faces) or I just dont feel like doing it (either because I feel my energy is too low beneath the required minimum for the approach or I feel like the effort would be too big).

My mentality improved once I had a lot of approaches under my belt. And I would say I am still in rookie numbers. I still feel nervous but I am able to mask it and hammer through anyways. So my current mentality is like... I do this because I am certain I will not die, no harm will be done to me nor anyone else and it just an opportunity which will never present itself in this exact same way and it actually does not have to lead anywhere, there is a high chance it will fail, so I am not losing anything really, maybe my time. I am just taking my chances so there is pressure really. But I have only certain amount of hours a day and if I let this opportunity pass, who knows when will the next one appear. Especially when you see a girl that looks exceptional. Also keep in mind that this all comes in waves. I had weeks where I saw so many girls I wanted to approach so I did and nothing worked. And weeks with same amount of opportunities and everything worked. So I had weeks where I even scheduled girls for the same days because there was no other time slot. And the weeks when I did not see any girls I really wanted to talk to. So dont beat yourself that much if the approach does not go as well as you wanted it to go. It is a numbers game. And to see whether the numbers game produces any results for you, you need to look at a longer period of time to analyse the results. And your satisfaction depends on how much success you have now compared to last [insert time slot]. Some guys do a mental check every week, some do 3 times a year. Most often nowadays, when I see a girl that catches my eye, the most dominant thought in my mind is like "what's her deal?" But not in a bad way but more like "what is she about". And then I am like "well lets find out" I cannot really tell how I got this mindset. It is not always like that like I mentioned above. Sometimes I just feel like "eh, too much work". What I know is which mindset or belief shift actaully allowed me to do this. And that was - there is nothing wrong about being direct and interested in someone else. Neither it is wrong to be sexually attracted to a girl (my sexuality was pretty repressed growing up) so this helped me the most.

Situations.. yea they vary. Today, on my way to the floor our offices are at, I press a button, make 4 steps backwards to see which elevator will likely come down, suddenly there is a girl standing to my right like 10cms next to me with fairly welcoming face so I just say "woah, you appeared there like a ninja." she smiled and I followed with more goofy shit that I often say "if you were an assassin hired to kill me I think you would have succeeded" and she smiled and said "yes I would " - point of this is that this situation happens to me like 4 times a week (with some differences) but I only make use of this opportinity like once a week or in 1 per 6 situations. And I am sure my skills would improve faster if I took my chances in all of them. For these boards, these are pretty newbie numbers but you can always do more if you need or want to. This works for me and for my lifestyle fairly well. Given that I tinder on the side.

Approach direction - the best for me is when I notice a girl walking toward me in a normal pace, she botices me, I smile at her, she smiles back and I just wave at her to stop and open. That is the best case scenario. Sometimes I do it from the side, but it is like 45 degree angle, no 90s, and I try to make sure that she notices me first so that I do not startle her. I think only once I tried it from the back but it felt really weird to even try it but her skirt made her ass look amazing. And still I kind of went indirect direct with that one and lied a bit so that might be the reason why it failed.

Btw the mindset and mentalities will be fairly unique to each person because you have different motivations than I do so different mental setup will work for you. For me, what works the most to beat all the fears is that nobody will tear me down, kill me or whatever if I do something. Other guys need something else to get them moving. A friend of mine was insecure about his looks so we found a dude who is plain and simple LotR troll looking getting a lot of girls and suddenly he realized that if someone uglier than him can do it, he can do it too. He was not 100% confidence after that but it got him started.

Last thing, each one of us has his style so the game we run is different. For me what works is to make the approach 4 minutes or less, keep the mystery and appear confident just because I approached her on the street and nobody does that. Make good first impression, build some comfort and connect on one or two things and get some contact from her, usually for whatsapp. Then refer to one of the things we talked about in my text and setup a date. The best guy I know gets them all wet in first 5 minutes and then just invites them to play table tennis after work. Some guys have different process. I mention this because there is no right or wrong way of doing it as long as you follow some fundamental principles. We all have different journey, at the end the process looks similar, the game is still somewhat unique to each one of us, but in the beginning, some guys have good verbal game so they connect with the girl, some guys employ touch well so they just add a little flirting and bam, they are good.

 

[silent9]

@songbird fog thanks for the response man. I find walking around all day tiring as fuck haha. Good to know you chill in high volume areas, think that's one thing I've been doing wrong. Also like the low pressure warm up strategy, who knows may even pull an elderly homeless lady without trying

@michal thanks heaps for the detailed response. From watching online infield it sometimes looks like guys are going out during the day and approaching with out any thought or hesitation. To the contrary I've found day game to be a mental battle with one's self as much as gaming the girl. I like the "what's her deal" mentality because it takes a lot of the pressure off the interaction and makes it seem normal. This is has been an issue of mine coz at the back of my mind I feel cold approach isn't really "normal" and hence don't want other people around. Really appreciate you sharing your insights/examples and it gives me more motivation knowing that other people are pushing through the same barriers and getting stuff done.

 

[Fuck This]

To warm up, I run on a trail and say "Hello" when I pass people. Sometimes it's "Morning!" sometimes it's "coming by on the left!" "nice looking dog!" I'm on the move, so there is no worry about when to eject. It is kind of fun to see people brighten up and say hello back. Plus I get a workout in. After a few years of that, I have people I recognize on certain routes. I even got a local olympian to stop and take a picture.

My best though was a cute mountain biker who stopped and wanted to chat one time. I was still married at the time, but I'm pretty sure she wanted me to ask her out. Made a point of spelling her name for me....