To all: I have been in the field for a couple of months now. Due to busy work, I have been only doing 3-4 approaches a week. I know small progress.
I have gone from initial having a lot of anxiety to now a complete relax state (maybe not that complete). I am trying to calibrate my state to a sexual state now.
I remember when I was a virgin, I used to avoid being sexual because it makes me uncomfortable. In the beginning of the day game, I was able to be friendly and excited to see a girl, and then have a good convo with some of them. But I felt I built too much rapport and then just have a normal conversation. As it becomes easier I thought I have made progress.
Now I am trying to be sexual, deepening my voice and eye contact. I found the girl will talk to me for a few seconds and then leave. Did I creep them out? Should I build in some rapport first and then gradually switch? I know I need to recalibrate this. Have you guys been here. How do you overcome this?
Be more specific. How does she act before she leaves? What specifically does she react to?
If you are being strange enough to make her leave, it's probably not that hard for you to understand why if you really want to. Go over the approach in your mind and ask yourself if what you were doing was really expressing what you wanted to express. Don't be afraid to discover the truth, that's how you learn.
My favorite ways to make things sexual without 'trying':
- Admire her beauty. Glance at her eyes, hair, lips as she speaks. Imagine someone said 'here's a girl, tell me 10 things you like about the way she looks'. Don't fake it or get wound up about it, just focus on what you really enjoy about her.
- There's a concept called tension and release. If you hold eye contact and pause for a second or two after she's finished talking, tension will build. Then you can release it with a big smile or tilting your head or something. That's how she becomes comfortable with your sexual interest, it's like a mini roller coaster of emotion.
- Use your body. Change posture every now and then and do a little swing of your hips or shoulders. Move closer or face your body more toward her to create tension, do the opposite to release it. Think of it like a dance - the couple are always pushing and pulling eachother, turning away and then back again, that's the dance of courtship. If they just stood there together it would be boring. But all the coming together and separating creates sexual energy.
- Use innuendo. Let's say she's telling you how she likes to go hiking. You can say 'yeah it's nice to be surrounded by nature, it awakens a deep part of us we aren't normally in touch with.' and then just smile and pause for a second as you look into her eyes. All she knows is she just heard 'deep' and 'touch' and she's looking into your eyes feeling butterflies.
- For more playful girls, tease. Teasing is a sign of sexual interest - the same way that horny girls shit test, a guy who's turned on teases and pokes a girl, it's a way to express and release energy toward the object of one's desires.
- Lead. Move her off the footpath. Ask if you can sit with her for a minute. Tell her to show you her bracelet. Girls instinctively follow someone they like who asserts himself, it creates a dynamic of submission that quickly becomes sexual.
But most of all, just observe how she turns you on, and enjoy it. Every girl knows when a man is turned on by her, they have a special sixth sense for that.
And ALWAYS remember, you're NOT trying to hide your interest, you WANT her to know that she's got your attention (not that you could hide it anyway). You just don't want her to think you're going to be needy or aggressive if she ever tries to put the brakes on. That's why being chill and playful through all this is essential.
