Day Game: stopping her and direct-complimenting her

[Prehistoric]

Went out with some guys who're also into pick-up and who, unlike me, do more day-game than night-game.

I had been recently concentrating on casual/edgy approaches but they were using another method, basically all the time: they were spotting a hot girl, following her, stopping her and saying:"hey, I was standing there with my friend, I saw you and I thought you were amazing so I wanted to say hi"

I could see many girls were receptive to that, especially with one guy (who I could see got pretty developed fundamentals)

This kind of approach goes a bit against some "rules" I have been reading on Girls Chase and on other Pick Up Sources, where telling a girl she's amazing/gorgeous etc.. is sometimes defined as "suicidal approach" and where the suggestion is to open on the side and not stopping her from the back.

Do you guys use this?

 

[ray_zorse]

This is the classic direct approach, yes it works, and yes I have used it a lot. Currently I'm not doing much approaching, and before that I was getting good results with a more low-key opener (such as commenting on an article of her clothing or going situational), but this could have just been ego-preserving on my part. What you describe is what I call the "amazingly cute" opener -- of course there are many slight variations, I prefer it like this: "Hi there... I was just XXX when I noticed how AMAZINGLY CUTE you are, and I wanted to introduce myself... I'm Ray". I have a few recommendations (1) use it as a backup when there's no obvious other opener to use (2) be in a higher energy state when you use it, hundred-watt smile and asking enthusiastically about her day and so on, (3) going very direct is good for street stops and other high-risk high-reward situations, as Chase put it -- what other reason could you possibly have for stopping her in the street? (But street stops can still be successful if you go slightly lower key such as complimenting a particular thing about her, as a matter of fact one thing that's good about the tailored compliment is you can reward something that's WITHIN HER CONTROL such as her dress/makeup, with the amazingly cute opener it could mean you're just complimenting her biology).

One thing to consider is opening percentages and closing percentages... Chase has stated that direct openers have a lower opening percentage (if she's not sexually available and you make your intentions clear she'll immediately disqualify herself, for example) but a higher closing percentage (you waste less time on girls who weren't interested from the start). However I see it slightly differently, in my opinion if you open with too high energy and go for the big compliments etc (rather than slipping under her radar by going situational, for example), she may well engage with you just for the entertainment value, and you'll have a great conversation and maybe even get a number, but she'll flake because either her emotions crash or she knows you're likely to be a player. Radeng suggested to me that I should save the unfiltered sex talk and the building of sexual tension and the high energy stuff for the date itself (and I've had a lot of low-key dates where she clearly just got bored of me and bailed, because I wasn't in state, you definitely have to come across sexual on the date)... and try to maximize your chances of getting her out by being a regular guy in the meantime. There's a lot of merit to this, but it DOES depend on the girl, if she's a more serious type then calibrate to that, if she's a party girl be sexy.

Ray

PS If you're going to open from behind make sure you catch up with her and get slightly ahead of her before you do anything, so she's noticed you and she isn't frightened. For street stops I prefer you just walk towards each other and you stop her as she's about to pass you (you're slightly to the side). I've had good results using touch to stop her, this is good for screening (you know she's okay with your touch) but I also had bad days. For street stops I suggest "Hey, stop for a moment..." instead of "Hi there..." but in other respects the tradeoffs regarding the opener are similar. Also consider pre-opening (don't meet her eye until you've got her attention).

PPS About the opener I would caution against getting too scripted, that's another reason I don't like to use a canned opener such as the amazingly cute opener too much. Sasha Daygame recommends in his ebook to just RUN to her and stop her and then consider what you're gonna say, noting that if you overthink it you're dead basically. He does however give an enormous range of suggestions (e.g. mother and daughter walking -> you say "do you mind if I speak to your sister for a moment" to the mother... another suggestion is "hot girl tag" -> you say "TAG you're it!" and when she asks -> "if I see somebody beautiful I have to tag her, that's the rule") and he suggests that for every approach you do in a day you use a different opener, you're not allowed to repeat one until the next day (this can gradually increase as you get better). I think these are good suggestions.

 

[Marty]

This kind of approach goes a bit against some "rules" I have been reading on Girls Chase and on other Pick Up Sources, where telling a girl she's amazing/gorgeous etc.. is sometimes defined as "suicidal approach"

See this response.

 

[Prehistoric]

However I see it slightly differently, in my opinion if you open with too high energy and go for the big compliments etc (rather than slipping under her radar by going situational, for example), she may well engage with you just for the entertainment value, and you'll have a great conversation and maybe even get a number, but she'll flake because either her emotions crash or she knows you're likely to be a player. Radeng suggested to me that I should save the unfiltered sex talk and the building of sexual tension and the high energy stuff for the date itself (and I've had a lot of low-key dates where she clearly just got bored of me and bailed, because I wasn't in state, you definitely have to come across sexual on the date)... and try to maximize your chances of getting her out by being a regular guy in the meantime. There's a lot of merit to this, but it DOES depend on the girl, if she's a more serious type then calibrate to that, if she's a party girl be sexy.

I actually thought the same thing when I was watching these guys. I have some kind of natural creativeness when it comes to create witty indirect opening (today it was raining and I started 3 conversations by asking "do you know where they sell that remote control to stop the rain?" and actually kept them talking for a while. Anyway, I want to force myself to do direct approaches on the streets too because it really builds confidence and outcome-freedom, which I have in bars and clubs but not in day time.

By the way, you mentioned Sasha's Day ebook. Do you think it is a good starting reference for somebody new to Day Game? Or do you know any other interesting Day Game ebooks?

 

[Bboy100]

I was getting good results with a more low-key opener (such as commenting on an article of her clothing or going situational)

This kind of approach goes a bit against some "rules" I have been reading on Girls Chase and on other Pick Up Sources, where telling a girl she's amazing/gorgeous etc.. is sometimes defined as "suicidal approach"

Interesting. Up till now, I always believed that Day Game required that you direct open because there's no social context. I've actually never heard of these rules. At least not on GC. But it sounds like situational openers do work in the Day time.

Have you guys had success with just "hi". Or making a comment on the environment or on what she's doing
Ex. [She's studying or looking at a computer screen or something] "Is it a tough class?" or "This is a cool little coffee shop huh?

Or do they necessarily have to be something of substance/wit?

 

[Prehistoric]

I was getting good results with a more low-key opener (such as commenting on an article of her clothing or going situational)

I've actually never heard of these rules. At least not on GC.

Chase mentions that in his ebook "Slow Opening".

 

[Chase]

Prehistoric-

If you're doing street stops, the only two that work with any reliable success that I've found are a.) direct and b.) asking for directions.

Other stuff can work great in less do-or-die day game scenarios, like meeting girls in line or in bookstores or grocery stores or on street corners, but if you're stopping them walking down the street you need direct or directions.

I don't like direct openers that are too generic / non-specific ("You're really cute" "You seem amazing" "You have a great energy about you") because while they will open, and often get good reactions, they generate a lot more resistance for you later when you're trying to get phone numbers, set up dates, or pull, because they're low attainability. Girls can tell when your openers are one-size-fits-all, and they'll frequently assume you must just stop every girl and say this to them, which makes you seem lower value and makes them feel not so special.

My recommendation for street stops where you're going direct is using genuine interest direct, where you're giving her a specific, genuine compliment unique to her: could be her style's incredible, could be her hair is, could be she has a killer walk, etc. More examples:

How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Know Her for Years

The more specific the compliment is, generally, the more believable it is, the less of a player you seem to be, and the more the opener feels like it was just fate: you were the guy she was simply destined to meet (instead of the guy who was going around spam approaching every girl he saw and using the same opener on all of them).

Chase

 

[ray_zorse]

By the way, you mentioned Sasha's Day ebook. Do you think it is a good starting reference for somebody new to Day Game? Or do you know any other interesting Day Game ebooks?

I bought Sasha's ebook and I think it's pretty good, but not of the calibre of what's on this site. For one thing he says in an early chapter "you've got to get your shit sorted before you can be attractive to girls" and then rapidly moves on, not really specifying how to do that. And since 90% of his readers will be guys who don't have their shit sorted, it's not very helpful advice. Here in GC we have a fair bit of advice on stuff like becoming financially independent, developing your hobbies and interests outside of game, etc. In any case Sasha's comment doesn't address the issue that inner game and outer game kind of advance hand-in-hand, and there's a lot to be gained from working on your outer game, even if your inner game isn't where it should be. Another thing I notice about Sasha's ebook, which is common to a lot of PUA material on the net, is he basically tries to teach you his process, rather than giving you the tools/building blocks and the understanding/insight you need to develop your own process. Sasha's process is a very unfiltered one, with huge emphasis on destroying ego and conquering social fear. So in his bootcamps, they have guys do absolutely foolish stuff in order to convince them that the sky doesn't fall in when they break social rules. And I heartily applaud this, especially Sasha's very good on approach anxiety. On the other hand, their emphasis is too much on honesty and screening, whereas GC advocates a more mysterious approach. So, go ahead and buy Sasha's ebook if you have the cash to splash, I think it's really good, but keep in mind my comments here. If you haven't bought Chase's ebook yet "How to Make Girls Chase" then that's a better investment.
Ray

 

[Skid]

What ray says about opening with big compliments and high energy I can totally relate too. I've found that when you open with tons of energy and give her a really flattering compliment the idea is to screen her so that if she isn't interested she will bail , right? - however my experience says otherwise : like ray said a girl will engage you simply because you made her feel really good - especially when you can open direct really well. She may well forget about her boyfriend or whatever guy she is seeing for a moment while she is experiencing those feelings and and then by the time she snaps out of it she is already committed to the interaction and feels too awkward to leave especially if she does not have a genuine excuse and is just casually strolling.

As it seems to be the case with most things I'm favoring opening girls with middle range stuff - so no over the top compliments but also not indirect like asking for directions since it it makes it annoying to transition into a proper interaction : talking about her and yourself. I believe chase calls it semi direct remember reading somewhere. If you go with big compliments (which is an extreme) then the girls reaction is probably going to be on the extremes as well if your completely new and your fundamentals are bad then she's gonna be like aww this is so cute and your attainability too the girl is way to high therefore no attraction but if you have fundamentals and sexy vibe then she goes into auto reject and assumes you don't care about her - because what guy can pull off such a sexy approach and vibe and not have done this a million times to other girls. Looking back and remembering all the times where girls have made the comment "you must do this a lot" or something similar I haven't had any issue getting their number but they have always as far as I can remember done things to lower their attainability and up their value - which at the time I thought there were blowing me off because I wasn't high enough value : over text they'd say things like I'm not looking for anything I'm blowing off a lot of guys right now" or she is "seeing someone and doesn't think we should meet" EVEN after agreeing to meeting and never mentioning this mystery man when we met up originally or even straight up saying we can't meet. Pretty sure I'm reading this right.

Chase has mentioned that making your compliments more unique to her can help with the low attainability something which I definitely don't' do enough I'm pretty lazy with opening so I'll give that a go. But you can definitely pull off something semi direct even if she is walking in a random place just a simple hey , or hey I'm xyz what's your name works and let your fundamentals do the rest of the work if she likes what she sees she will stop if she asks why just smirk at her and say you want to get to know her - this also works with the are you single opener but haven't really used that one much.

Skid

 

[Lawliet]

This kind of approach goes a bit against some "rules" I have been reading on Girls Chase and on other Pick Up Sources, where telling a girl she's amazing/gorgeous etc.. is sometimes defined as "suicidal approach"

See this response.

Marty,
When Chase said, "From an authority figure" and "confidence", he means nonverbals and voice tone correct that differentiates Direct from
Sharing your feelings ?

Lawliet

 

[Lawliet]

becoming financially independent, developing your hobbies and interests outside of game, etc.
Ray

Which articles are these? Must have overlooked!

Lawliet

 

[Lawliet]

Prehistoric-

a.) direct and b.) asking for directions.

Chase

There's also a third option, a mixture of both.
Indirect direct that Chase talked about.

"Hey how do I get to ABC?" when ABC was right in front of you.
"I'm just kidding, just thought you were cute and wanted to get to know you, I'm Lawliet"

Chase approves?
Lawliet

 

[Prehistoric]

If you haven't bought Chase's ebook yet "How to Make Girls Chase" then that's a better investment.
Ray

How to Make Girls Chase is my primary reference for game in general. I am slowly trying to internalise all of its information.
Yet I don't mind reading other stuff too, especially ebooks that focus on some particular type of game (day game, club game, online dating etc.)

 

[Longshanks]

I like the semi-indirect approach that Chase mentions for a few reasons:
1)Chances of you stopping her are good, and you build a tiny bit of compliance, even if it's not sexual yet.
2)It lowers the amount of investment you feel in the interaction, which eases your approach anxiety. If she blows you off at this point, it probably means she's just really in a hurry or not paying attention to her surroundings, and you don't have to take it personally because you didn't prompt her to evaluate you for dating potential (as opposed to the direct approach). If she just stares daggers at you and keeps walking, it's easier to shrug off.
3)It's confusing and humorous, which is good for breaking her out of her 'rut' and engaging her, as well as breaking the ice a bit. You may get your foot in the door here, where you wouldn't otherwise.
4)I think the expression of attraction ("You are cute, I had to say hello") is paramount though, because otherwise she has no clue what you are really after. The direct approach puts this right up front, but I think this is also a bit rough on the girl, who is jolted immediately into needing to evaluate you. The pressure to make a snap judgement is unpleasant, so I don't think this is such a great idea. You are likely to get some 'no's where you might have otherwise gotten 'yes's, had the girl had a little more time to make up her mind. On the other hand, the 'yes's you get are probably going to be more enthusiastic ones, so there's that.

I've been opened a couple times by girls over the past few years. TL;DR: (A) it's kind of startling to get a direct opener. (B) it is possible to get polite conversation out of someone who's not interested in you.
1)I was teaching a sports lesson outdoors, and a girl who was with a couple of friends complimented my form, and asked if the sport was hard. I laughed and responded "No, it's not bad, you should try it." I wasn't attracted, so I didn't follow up.
2)I was working on my bike in the driveway, and a girl walking on the sidewalk yelled something like "I think you're really hot!", and then sheepishly ducked behind her friends and started giggling. I said "Thank you!" and let it go (she also wasn't cute). I was pretty startled tbh.
3)I was through a hotel lobby while on a business trip (in casual but fashionable outfit, not a suit). A group of mostly girls was passing, and two of them complimented me (can't remember what know, but they were trying to stop me and talk with me). I was actually in a hurry so I just sort of said "thanks" and kept moving, but they were still there when I came back a few minutes later. I engaged them, and wound up going to the club with them. Did a bit of grinding on one of the cute ones, but no pull success.
4) Another sports setting: the girl was with a guy, and they stopped. She asked me a couple questions about the sport, and then told me she thought the outfit was sexy, and could she get a private lesson. I was surprised, and I think I fumbled here a bit, b/c I didn't immediately realize she meant that the outfit was sexy on ME; plus I assumed the guy was her b.f. and wondered if this was some kind of trap. I got her number though, but then I blew it when I sent her a pretty forward text, which surprised me b/c she had been pretty forward herself.